Sayhey

Happy New Year

2012-01-05T00:17:00.001+01:00

I realise it's been forever since I last posted anything on here and chances are there won't be an update again for some time. However I just wanted to wish you all a happy new year and thank those of you who have been trying to keep in touch with me. Be that via Facebook, Twitter, postcards/holiday cards, email or the like. Thank you. Thank you for all your love and support and I'll try to get back to you individually. Until then, let's have a glass of Cristal. Cheers!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sayhey Lovefilm presents: Not-so-live-blogging All About Steve

2011-07-15T23:34:00.001+02:00

We here at SayHey watch it, so you don't have to. You should know the drill by now. Otherwise, do have at look at my previous Not-so-live-blogging events .

Todays feature is the delightful little nugget All About Steve. Now, I love Sandra Bullock and find Bradley Cooper to be devastatingly handsome, so let's see what the movie's like.

Well, I have my ideas as I heard the movie earned a razzie or two the same year Sandra Bullock won her Oscar for The Blind Side.

So bring out the popcorn and the Champagne, coke floats, soda or whatevs and let's get going shall we.

Radar Pictures? Never heard of them.

Ugh! Thomas Haden Church? I hate him. Hated him since that dreadful movie Sideways where they go on a wine tasting trip for a batchelor party or something and hook up with that Asian woman from Greys Anatomy. I really wanted to like that one, but I SO DIDN'T!

Sandra B walking happily through the streets in her red vinyl boots. Not sure I like her hair.

Sandra B is meeting with her boss. She makes crossword puzzles and she wants to get her stuff in the paper daily instead of weekly.

Evil boss is not having it. BOO! Her boss wants Sandra B to date more.

Sandra B has a blind date this evening. Exciting.

She's about to speak at carrer day at a school. Comedy may ensue. The firefighter next to her is cute.

I'm a sucker for a man in a uniform.

The kids are mean to Sandra B. BOO! I think she's going to reevaluate her life.

Sandra B does physical comedy well and they add that little noise that makes it sound ever the more painful.

She lives with her parents. She's cute.

She's going on a date with Bradley Cooper! How hot is he! Go change Sandra, change!

Sandra B just went to slut it up. Slutty Sandra B!

Wow! What a smile he has.

Oh, oh! Sandra B just jumped Bradley Cooper in a car but now she's very chatty. Shut up Sandra B and enjoy.

Awwww. He's ditching her. So sad.

The crossword puzzle Sandra B made was All About Steve - like the title. CLEVER! Or not...

So they are firing her over one puzzle. Bubye Sandra B. Sad.

The Asian guy from The Hangover is in it too.

New word: Snotsicles

Bradley C is so cute.

Sandra B just tried sliding down a banister in nothing but a towel. Comedy ensued and the repeating of "doesn't hurt, doesn't hurt.." Priceless!

Even Thomas Haden Church's voice is dull. It's like watching Tom Hanks at the Oscars.

Dead horse - alive!

Sandra B is just filled with useless information about EVERYTHING. She's yapping on and on, on a bus. So much so that they dumped her in the middle of nowhere. Bless her.

It's a little funny though.

Sandra B is stalking Bradley C, but she's too late at the place of the dead alive horse.

Comment of the moment: If God didn't want my daughter to have a third leg, he wouldn't have stuck one between the other two.

If that's not a little filthy, I don't know what is.

Bradley C, THC (Thomas Haden Church) and Asian dude from The Hangover are now in a new place reporting of the controversy of a girl with 3 legs. To keep the third leg, or not to. That is the question.

Oh, Sandra B just showed up! Brandley C just noticed her and her boots! Hah!

There's a demonstration with pro and anti leg protesters. We don't know if the leg is fuctional and has full mobility. We are at the edge of our seat.

Oh, there's the creepy geek from Road Trip! He's wearing a baby blue hat.

THC invited Sandra B up to the media tent to meet Bradley C. He's so mean.

Ew! THC just mentioned Bradley C's loins. I don't want that image.

YAY Bradley C just punched THC in da face! Love it.

BREAKING NEWS! Three's the charm! They decided to keep the leg for now.

Hah! This is physical comedy at a very high level.

Creepy nerdy dude from Road Trip is an apple sculpturer - weird.

Hah! Next up, bear in jacuzzi?

TORNADO!

Panic!

Car stalling!

Excitement!

CGI!

Whooops! Kids just fell into an abandoned mine shaft. Hahaha.

The news team Bradley C, Asian dude from The Hangover and THC are on the way.

Quote: If you quit a puzzle, you can't finish it.

I like that.

Whooooooops! Sandra B just fell in the hole. HAH!

Awwww Bradley C loves Sandra B.. that was a romantic speech

I think one of the fire fighters was a demon on the series Charmed.

They aren't sure Sandra B will make it so creepy nerdy dude from Road Trip is making an apple sculpture for her when she gets out.

I just noticed that the word "word" in Danish (Ord) is the same in singular and plural unlike in English. Why haven't I thought of that before?

THC just jumped into the hole.

They made it out of the hole. Pheeew! Had me on the edge of my seat clutching my glass of Champagne with one hand and my heart with the other.

Bradley C is so hot.

The End.

The trailer is here

If you want to see Sandra B accept the Razzie award for her performance in this slightly ditzy but adorable and amusing movie, see this

Friday I'm in love

2011-07-01T18:03:00.000+02:00

Gosh, it's already July. Honestly I can't remember what I did in June except work but I suppose I spent it mostly trying to get back into my usual groove and accepting that I've already beeen on holiday and chances were that I wouldn't be going anywhere until sometime next year.

Turns out, I got myself plane tickets to London from Sept. 28 to Oct. 1st. So let me know if you want to hang out. My birthday is on Sept. 29 so if you feel like having a glass of bubbly (Champagne, coke float or whatevs) please feel free to email me, facepoke or tweet me. My email is in my profile page I think.

So, Friday?

From there I got to the whole Glastonbury thing because people keep saying that the bint ~~Bouyancy~~ Beyonce was the first female to be a main name at Glastonbury. That's actually not true. Technically Kylie was except she was forced to pull out when she was diagnosed with the big C. Anyway, Kylie made her first appearance last year with the Scissor Sisters. Then you know, you click one like and then another and before you know it, you've spent an hour and find yourself here

Sayhey Lovefilm presents: Not-so-live-blogging RED

2011-06-19T18:34:00.001+02:00

We here at SayHey watch it, so you don't have to. You should know the drill by now. Otherwise, do have at look at my previous Not-so-live-blogging events .

Todays feature is RED. I'm watching it in HD on my Yousee box. I love this rental feature where I don't have to go anywhere to rent a movie. All I have to do is push a few buttons and BOOM! Movie right on my TV in HD quality. Best part is, I don't have to take it back as it just disappears again after 24 hrs. None of that Lovefilm DVD thing where you must pop them in the postbox on the way to or from work. Besides, I only get a bill every 3 months.

As I said, todays feature is RED. The action movie combining the unlikely of Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren and action movie. Here we go...

DC Comics? Is this based on a comic book? Oh no!

Bruce Willis still looks hot.

Also starring: Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker, Julian McMahon, Ernest Borgnine, James Remar and Richard Dreyfuss. They pulled out the big guns eh?

Bruce Willis lives very neat, with dark furniture and dark blue walls. He looks bald.

Apparently Bruce Willis is lonely because he tore up his pension cheque to call Mary-Louise Parker for a new one. Apparently he does this a lot because they seem to know each other pretty well.

Mary-Louise Parker wants excitement and travel. She reads romance novels. How novel.

It starts a bit slow. He lives in Cleveland and it's around Christmas. I know this because it said Cleveland on his trash bin, and the gaudy holiday decorations are up.

God, if I looked like that at 50 or whatever, I wouldn't be eating dinner alone! Bruce, I still would...

They both read the romance novel.

I don't get why Bruce Willis has to sleep wearing so much clothes.

Oh, oh ACTION about to start!

Intruders in the house, and Brucie is in the kitchen, or so they think

Bruce is so KOOL!

Packing his emergency kit and then he's out of there while the house is getting shot at by machine guns of some kind. It's all a bit over the top and American. I love it!

Oh, he's not out of there yet. He's been hiding and massive shooting. Don't they ever run out of bullits?

Kansas City!

We are now in Kansas City at Mary-Louise Parker appartment. She was not expecting Brucie in her flat. Haha. She's throwing stuff at him.

Oh no, they are very being followed and so he put gaffa tape over her mouth and tied her up in the backseat. She's not happy about it.

Sounds like Fragglerock if you ask me.

Oh, cute man is setting up someone for a crime at a gorgeous modern house. He has someone hanging by the neck now.

New target is Brucie. Cute man is a black op guy.

New Orleans hello!

Mary-Louise Parker tied up to a bed.

Meet Morgan Freeman in a red velvet tracksuit. This isn't a pretty picture.

Brucie and Morgan are talking. Brucie brought fingers with him. I'm not kidding! FINGERS.

Morgan Freeman to Brucie: "somebody has a serious hardon for you" - favourite line so far, and so true. So true.

Mary-Louise Parker escaped. She was very shocked she actually got loose, and now there's trouble. Cute man found out about her.

Brucie saves the girl. She was injected with a sedative or something. She's hjigh apparently.

Cute guy getting shot at. He's not just cute, he's hot.

This is so not a real street. This is a studio lot for sure. A little disappointing to be honest.

First Coca Cola sign.

CIA is behind it all apparently. Morgan figured it out.

Welcome to New York City. Been driving on that very road I think.

Mary-Louise Parker to Brucie: "I was hoping you had hair" - first bald head joke. It was pretty funny.

Oh look! It's Lanes mother from Gilmore Girls. She is the mother of a dead journalist that Brucie and Marylou (Mary-Louise Parker is now known as that).

The plot thickens. Brucie and Marylou were checking things out at the library it seems.

Dramatic facial expressions by Brucie. Apparently the guy who they were looking for is dead.

At the CIA there's a records keeper who has all the records of the black ops agents. Apparently Brucie used to be one of them, and cute guy is now checking it out.

RED is Retired Extremely Dangerous. Now we know that.

Pensacola, Florida

Brucie and Marylou are about to meet someone in alligator land.

It's a little exciting.

Whoooops there he is!

He lives in a car.

We are about 32 minutes into it now. It's actually pretty good. Not at all comic booky, that there's anything wrong with that. I like the old Superman movies, Spiderman and I'd like to watch Green Lantern.

Mobile, Alabama!

A city called Mobile? Weird.

The dude they hooked up with walks around with a teddy bear pig and is very paranoid. It's a little funny.

James Remar! WE LOVE YOU!

James Remar just passed. May he rest in pieces. Again lots of shooting and explosions. BOOM!

Brucie really LIKES Marylou.

Brucie now visiting the Russian Embassy to see someone to get help. They want to get into the CIA.

Love the sort of faux cold war, iron wall aspects. We need more of this.

I also missed the really bad fake Russian accents. The worst I've seen are in K-19 Widow Maker starring Harrison Ford.

Now Brucie and Marylou are going into the CIA building. It's a little exciting and a little bit Covert Affair esque.

Another hair joke. Hah! Somehow I think Brucie would look a little sad with hair.

Cute nay hot guy and Brucie (also hot) are now fighting. it's a little exciting and very EXCITING if you know what I mean.

They got out. Much excitement going on though.

ENTER DAME HELEN MIRREN!

Well, actually Brucie entered Helens house. "I kill people dear", Helen Mirren is so kool. Never thought I'd hear her say that.

We just established that cute, nay hot guy has a family. I'm sure that'll turn up later.

Who knew Helen Mirren could be this gun crazy. It's fun.

They've discovered the reason why and who wants them all dead.

Lots of shooting, commotion and Marylou was just captured.

The only one who does any real acting in this movie is Helen Mirren but she really does upp the class, the lass.

Brucie is now at the cute, nay hot guys house calling. Threatning his family.

Marylou is becoming kool. How about that!

Brucie is going to kill the guy behind it all. so they are going to CHICAGO!

I've been to Chicago, it's not all that.

Helen Mirren is looking classy as ever.

Julian McMahon! He's attractive. I'd let him..

Apparently he's their target. I'm sure after a bit of schmoozing there'll be gunfire and other action business.

Excessive firepower but very entertaining
It's very American but we are loving this!

THEY SHOT DAME HELEN MIRREN!! So.not.kool!

We are almost at the climax of the movie. Exciting stuff.

All we need now is Brucie snogging cute nay hot guy.

The END or in French 'fin'

I do hope they'll get the entire cast back to do another one. Cute nay hot guy is Karl Urban

I take a deep breath and hold a piece of sky in my mouth

2011-06-13T19:27:00.000+02:00

I'm not home yet. Well, OK so I *am* home, but only in body because my spirit is really everywhere but here. On Thursday last week I've been home for a month and while I adore New York, and this is not the last time you hear of it, it's not as if I feel particularly like I'm still in New York. I just feel anywhere but here.

A few weeks ago we had our 'team day' where we all bonded and such, which wasn't nearly as awful as I thought. I made my presentation and after a few days had gone by, my boss lady came up to me and said "I thought you would say that you love travelling". Huh? That was my highly intelligent response to that and then she started telling me about how I'd flewn to London over the weekend in 2009 followed shortly after by an almost month long trip to the great US of A. Then in 2010 I hadn't been anywhere which she thought was a bit bizarre only I went to New York this year for a week. Surely I must love travelling.

I don't really feel that way. I don't mind not going anywhere as long as I feel good where I am and while I lived in Copenhagen I was thrilled to just be. Somehow now, I search for any excuse to go somewhere. Be that New York, Vegas (BABY!), San Francisco, London or Paris. Hell, if I had the chance I'd whisk myself off to Blackpool. While this makes it sound as if I have a terrible life here, I really don't. My appartment is decent (although the rent is a bit steep for a place like this), I love my job (there seems to be a bit much of that lately) and my parents aren't all that intrusive (which is rather odd). It's really just the city I suppose and the fact that most of my friends moved on while I was gone. Two years later, all the friends I have left of my 'old' friends is my bestest friend evah, a darling colleague girl and, Dullface he admitted reluctantly. Fairly sad.

Not to sound too sad and pathetic, I did manage to meet a few new peeps, but I'm rather picky when it comes to meeting new friends. Unlike in other parts of my life. This is also why I ended up going to New York alone. My bestest friend evah was unavailable or as he would say - out of funds and there was no way in hells I'd take Dullface.

Now, let's steer back to travelling again. I get sidetracked easiely. I've been thinking about how it'll be at least a year until I'll go somewhere again. To be honest I find that unbearable, so I have been airing the idea of a few days in London. Travelling Scary Air and staying in some mucky hotel for a few days is better than nothing I suppose. This would mean I could go see this in London

on Sunday..

Of course that's completely crazy but a few days in London would be wonderful. Maybe I'd feel ready to get back to the daily trials and tribulations then?

In My Life

2011-06-05T14:59:00.000+02:00

Films have always been a great part of my life, because they, along with TV were an escape to a better life. Another life. Somewhere far, far away. Plus all the glamour surrounding the making of it. Of course, I know making a movie is not all glitz and glamour and there's a lot of hard, grunt work. Just like in TV. Still, the movies and the cinema were a means to escape whatever troubles you had and go to a different place. A place where other people had troubles that were almost always solved and subsequently they lived happily ever after.

We also didn't have a strong tradition when it came to movies at my childhood home. We didn't buy tapes, and we most certainly didn't go to the cinema. Well, not a lot anyway. My parents would scamper off to see the latest James Bond movie and leaving us kids at home. That was about it. My mother really did fancy Sean Connery, like mother like son I suppose. He was handsome back in the day.

So yes, he's not bloody home yet. Here's a nice little film meme.

Films That Remind Me of Childhood

The first movie I remember watching at the cinema was Walt Disney's The Fox & The Hound (Danish title Mads & Mikkel). I remember getting dressed in my PJs for the movie and I wasn't having it one bit. To this day, this is probably the movie I've cried the most tears to.

Most of my childhood films came curtesy of Walt Disney like The Little Mermaid and Oliver & Co but later in life I remember one time where the whole family were sitting together watching a movie on TV. It was Coming To America starring Eddie Murphy. This was probably around 1989/90. I was around 12 years old and even my evil big brother was there. He's 10 years older than me. It was just such a big moment that the 'whole family' were together and doing something that I actually liked.

I've never counted but I've probably watched this movie 35 times.

Childhood Films Where Removal was Necessary

I've always been very sensitive and when it came to horror, suspense and other genres like that, I knew my limits. I just didn't watch it. Although once I was home alone with evil bro, he and a few of his friends had rented a couple of movies. They had rented Good Morning Vietnam and Miami Spice. Since I don't like war movies, I popped in the latter thinking it was like the series Miami Vice.

Let's just make it very clear, IT WAS PORN! and I was so shocked because I'd never seen anything like it before. I was revolted and yet fascinated. Plus the plot was kind of funny. Obviously it was stopped short before the end, because evil bro came into the living room (the only room we had a VCR in) and he was mortified. I never got to see the end of it which was a little disappointing but I was quite queasy. Strangely enough I didn't tell on my brother that time.

Since I can't find an actual clip of the movie, I leave you with this because why the hell not.

Films that Defined My Teens

My teens were mostly defined by TV series and mini series made for TV along with tacky Hallmark movies. Of TV series it will come as no surprise to anyone that Dynasty was my main inspiration and also action series such as Acapulco HEAT and Mr. & Mrs Smith. Let's take a small look at the latter

I also liked Mistral's Daughter which I would watch with my mother. Of course she'd have a glass of wine in her hand as one does.
Back to the subject at hand, movies I'd have to say that my biggest inspirations were anything with Leslie Nielsen in it. Especially when he paired up with the Zucker Brothers. Like in the Airplane! and the Naked Gun movies.

I also like Sandra Bullock a lot, so naturally I was influenced a lot by her movies. The Net was a favourite.

Films Seen Multiple Times at Theatres

~~This could be potentially embarrassing.~~ I've watched 4 movies multiple times at the theatre. Now delight in my humiliation while I take you through them and the reasons behind it. There's always a reason.

Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock.

I've watched it 4 times at the theatre and I actually don't have a total of how many times I've watched it on DVD. It's a lot though.

Well, first time I watched it was with my bestest friend evah. He's a fanboy like me and we always watch Sandra Bullock movies at the theatre together so naturally we went to watch it.

Second time was with a girl who I was very close friends with at the time. I'll mention her 2 more times in this one. Let's call her Maria, because that's her name. She's a lovely girl. We had a falling out almost 10 years ago and met up 4 years ago and I blew her off which was very rude of me and I regret this very much now but I can't find her. I've tried. Well, we loved to go to the movies and as you'll see later on, we'd watch anything. Twice.

Third time was with Dullface because we had decided to go watch a movie and he wanted to watch this one. I liked it, so there we go. It was still funny!

Fourth time was when I had gone to the International People's College and a group of us wanted to go watch a movie. The others hadn't watched this one, and I decided not to share the fact that I'd watched it 3 times before. After we got back and had some wine, it came out though and we all had a big laugh about it. That was the point when I was accepted into the lush club. I was so happy ~~and drunk~~ for the rest of the stay.

The Patriot starring Mel Gibson

I watched this one twice. Haven't watched it since it came out because it's not my genre. As a general rule I don't like war movies, and this one felt like it went on forever. So, why did I watch it twice?

This movie was watched with Maria both times. First time was because the theatre in our town only had two screening rooms. One large and one tiny. There was also only one theatre in our town. That limits the options a lot and it seemed like nothing interesting came out at that time. At least not at our theatre. I don't remember what was out at the time, but maybe we'd already seen it or it wasn't our cup of tea. Anyway we decided to try it out. Then found out we hated it. The following weekend we had nothing better to do so we decided to go the cinema again. Nothing except this movie was showing, so we asked ourselves the question "was it really *THAT* dull?". The answer was yes.

Lord of the Rings

It turned out that The Patriot was nowhere near as dull as Lord of the Rings.

I watched it twice. First time was with my job at the time who decided we should all go waste a Thursday night (the company paid for the tickets). To be honest I started snoring about 20 minutes into the movie and was nudged on the shoulder to wake up when there was a 15 minute break in the movie. Then fell asleep immediately again waking up when the credits came on. It was that entertaining to me.

Before I'd watched it, I had promised Dullface (this was when we were still sort of seeing each other socially) that I'd go watch it with him. He had missed his chance to see it with a group of co-workers so I said OK. I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't. Let's just say it was a very expensive and quite uncomfortable nap.

This is a lot more funny version.

Mission Impossible II - starring Tom Cruise

Probably the most ridiculous movie I've watched in a very long time. Granted I haven't watched it for about 8 years.

Anyway, I watched it both times with Maria. It was basically the same situation as with The Patriot where there's wasn't much else going on. Granted this was more enjoyable because the second time we were laughing through most of it. Ah, the memories!
First Date Film

My first date film was Jurassic Park. A bunch of us from school went to see it. The late screening at 9.20pm so a pick up after the film was over had been arranged by our parents. I didn't want to go at first. Mostly because I knew I'd have nightmares from watching it and then because it was with school 'mates' who I had pretty bad experiences with during the day. So why would I want to go hang out with them in the evening. It would be common sense to not go.

Common sense went out the window when a boy who lived close to me asked me what I was doing on that Thursday evening. I told him, and he asked if he could come with me. 'To protect me'. I laughed. He insisted and my mother got him in. Of course they didn't know what was going on. We'd gotten tickets a little further back from everyone else because I'd brought 'an outsider'. Apparently that was frowned upon. Still, we had a good time holding hands in the darkness of the theatre. I bought it on VHS tape in 1998 and rewatched it because there are parts I didn't watch the first time and that's all I have to say about that.
Nightmares from Films

I never had nightmares from Jurassic Park, which is a bit strange but maybe I was looking elsewhere through most of that film. What did give me nightmares was Scream. It was the first and only horror movie I'd watched up until then. That night I was with Dullface and a straight guy (let's call him H) who I had a huge crush on and actually had fooled around with a bit a couple of years earlier.

--- an aside--
My experience has always been that 3 is a crowd. Everytime there were two people and me, I ended up getting clobbered. If not physically then at least mentally. Every time I'd end up being at the bad end of some sick prank or joke. So I rarely went to anything knowing we would be 3 (or more for that matter).
--- aside over--

It was going pretty ok. Then the other two wanted to watch a movie, and of course H pulled out a copy of Scream. Instead of leaving, I sat there watching it all. Then of course they had a lot of fun scaring the shit out of me througout the movie and said they'd follow me on my walk home and jump out at me. As I had to walk past the forest and every second lamp post was turned off I was scared to death walking home. I heard my own footsteps and so I ran thinking I was being followed. It was just really unpleasant. Obviously they didn't follow me. I slept with the lights on for 4 days.

Films that are Guilty Pleasures

So many guilty pleasures, so little time! I am going to limit myself to four films.

Batman & Robin

I watched this at the theatre but I can't recall who I watched it with. I think I was staring too much at George Clooney's crotch to notice anything else. I later bought it on VHS and loved every minute of the campy goodness. I still say it's the best Batman movie ever made. It has George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell in tight outfits, Uma Thurman in tiny little nothing outfits and loads of makeup. Camp dialogue and Arnold Schwarzenegger dancing in furry bear slippers. What's not to love!

Catwoman

So ridiculously bad it's good. Bad computer effects, bad acting, bad dialogue, horrible story and Sharon Stone. Not like that's anything new for Sharon Stone of course. After Basic Instinct 2 I'll believe anything.

I watched this at the theatre with my bestest friend evah and we laughed throughout the entire thing. Of course he thought it was dire. I see it as camptastic. Potatoe/potatoe I suppose. Just had to get the DVD.

Spice World

This is actually comedy genius combined with catchy (and very popular) pop songs. I love how kitchy it is and how you can easily spot the movie mistakes in this one and believe me, there are plenty. Usually you have to have a good eye to notice some of the movie mistakes but not in this. To be honest I think they kept them in to give this movie a new dimension. Like in the Airplane! movies. I watched this movie with Dullface. He wanted to see it as much as I did, so one day we ~~rocked~~ popped up at the theatre at 6pm (there were no later screenings of this one. We wondered why) and stood in line to get our tickets. Then we were seated in the tiny screening room and we were the oldest patrons who weren't escorted by adults.

Also, I was the only one laughing throughout the movie. I guess some people just have no sense of humour.

Barb Wire

We missed this one at the theatre. It only played for one week in the tiny screening room. I still don't know why. It was camptastic, kick arse action and as a gayer I still say there's something about Pamela Anderson and her boobs. Loved everything about it and bought the special edition VHS tape. Yes there was a special edition, and it was a £25 import in 1997. To this day, I still love it and I have it on DVD.

Last Film I Saw at the Theatre

I have started expanding my horizons when it comes to films. To be honest I don't care for Danish movies except the really old ones from the 1920s and up to about 1969 or so. Some of the new ones can be alright but most are dire. That said, I accepted an invitation to go with colleagues to see SuperClásico which is part Danish and part South American. It's about a man who has taken his son with him to South America to try and get his wife back. She's run off with a dishy football player and a career. This is his journey.

It's probably one of the most f*cked up movies I've ever watched. Weirdly funny and kind of depressing all at the same time.

Favourite Film No One Else Seems to Know About

Gunshy

I'm not sure I'll be good at selling this. I'd never watched it but decided to buy it anyway because it stars Sandra Bullock, Liam Neeson and Oliver Platt and it's about a DEA agent who starts undergoing therapy who then goes to Sandra Bullock for a little cleansing where she utters the famous (or it should be) line "Hi, I'm Judy Tipp and I'll be doing your enema" or something to that effect.

Two if by Sea or the Danish title Stole Hearts (yes that is the translation, no Danish words there)

Another one I bought without having watched it. I didn't expect it to be any good, but it was surprisingly witty. Dennis Leary takes his girlfriend on a job (he steals things) and it all goes tits up.
Please, please, please watch the clip here ! You may actually like it.

The Contender

This is a really good political thriller. I saw a review of this on TV when it came out and thought I'd have to watch it. Since it never made it to our two screening room theatre, I had to buy it once it came out. I get goosebumps just watching the trailer. It's THAT good.

You should all do this meme and let me know in the comments that you've done it.

Now, come on everyone! All together now. "ISN'T HE BLOODY HOME YET?". Maybe..

One word

2011-06-03T21:12:00.000+02:00

My mother always said, "If you have nothing to say, say nothing". Apparently she was quoting Mark Twain. Well, I never quite learned this always making some kind of comeback, even if it was only one word.

In that honour, I've decided to continue my introduction in this "one word" meme.

1. Where is your cell phone? Repairs

2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend? Single

3. Your hair? Brown

4. Your mother? Lush

5. Your father? Quiet

6. Your favourite item? iPhone

7. Your dream last night? Naughty

8. Your favourite drink? Piña Colada

9. Your dream car? Beetle

10. The room you are in? Linvingroom

11. Your ex? Happy

12. Your fear? Unemployment

13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Cohabitating

14. Who did you hang out with last night? Myself

15. What you're not? Well

16. The last thing you did? Tweet

17. What are you wearing? Pants

18. Your favourite book? The Snow Garden

19. The last thing you ate? Bread

20. Your life? Short

21. Your mood? Sad

22. Your friends? Worldwide

23. What are you thinking about right now? Dynasty

24. Your car? non-existing

25. What are you doing at the moment? Dynasty

26. Your summer? Working

27. What is on your TV? Dynasty

28. When is the last time you laughed? Wednesday

29. Last time you cried? Thursday

30. School? Nightmare

Someone might think or even say, isn't he bloody home yet, but no. Apparently not.

Homecoming

2011-05-28T00:28:00.002+02:00

It's been way too long, hasn't it? The rapid decline in activity on my blog since 2008 has got to stop. So, I thought I'd start by reintroducing myself on here. You see, this Wednesday I was at a work seminar thing where our new (and much larger team) were learning how to become a proper, tight knitted team. I hate those things because they usually involve the inevitable hideous teambuilding exercises. Thankfully we got off very easy and it was a lot more 'serious'. The last thing we had to do was stand up in front of everyone and present our Johanri window. Before the day we were to prepare our presentation and I nearly died presenting mine because I can't stand getting up in front of say 20 people and telling them about ourselves. It's not like I shared more than I wanted to, or felt comfortable sharing but rather that I don't like forced sharing. Of course it was interesting hearing everyone else talk about themselves. I took a few things with me from the seminar which are to be more energetic, positive and happy. I figure if I act like it, I will eventually become it.

A long story short, I thought I should reintroduce myself so I stole this meme from Ponita and figured it would be a good way of doing so.

1) ONE OF YOUR SCARS. HOW DID YOU GET IT?

I have a scar on my left knee. It was summer, I was seven years old and my parents were out in front of our house painting the windows. Of course without permission I brougth out my little inflatable paddling pool and started filling it with water on the lawn. Once it was filled I ran up the stone steps and turned off the water and then raced down the stone steps towards my pathetic little paddling pool only to fall and scrape my knee quite severely. I started crying very loudly (because it's no fun if people don't know you are in pain) but it took my parents about 10 minutes before they figured out it was me, and came out back and yelled at me.

As clear as if it were yesterday, I remember being on my bed crying and looking at my knee where at first blood was ~~gushing~~ ~~oozing~~ ticking out and then it was some weird clear liquid. It was very painful, and although the scar is tiny now, it's still visible and no, you may not see it. I am a ~~gay~~ guy of mystery afterall.
2) WHAT IS ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BEDROOM?

I don't have much on my bedroom walls. Mostly because I've got wardrobes and closets on most walls of the room but I do have a 2010 calendar.

It still has qualities, don't you think?

3) WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE?

My mobile phone is an iPhone 3 GS

4) WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

I listen to mostly cheerful, happy pop music because it makes me happy. Listening to rock and those types of depressing music (including rap and r'n'b) makes me depressed. An example of a blast from the past that I like is this gem

DJ BOBO was a massive hit over here back in 1992.

5) DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?

I never asked. Never thought it mattered - especially because I don't believe in all those astrology and numerology things.

6) WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

An iPhone 4, an iPad 2 and a pair of new glasses. I'm modest like that.

7) WHO DO YOU MISS?

I miss my ex boyfriend and at times my aunt who died last year.

8) IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU OR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?

Maybe my ex boyfriend. I can never tell as it~~'s been~~ was so on and off. I'm thinking no though.

9) WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?

A guy in New York. To protect his identity let's call him Jack.

10) WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?

I don't have a middle name.

11) THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED?

It's got to be Gilmore Girls or

Dynasty.

12) THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?

Dullface.

13) DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

Only when I've watched something scary on TV or at the cinema. There are very few times when I actually miss having a boyfriend. I do on lazy weekends and while and after watching scary stuff.
14) THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

First of all you need to know that I'm a very sensitive/empathic person when it comes to all things miserable. Like death, illness, war and such. It influences my mood easily and makes me very sad. So when my boss lady told us at work that her brother had ~~finally~~ died of cancer after 15 years of struggling with it, it made me sad. I actually had a bit of a cry when I got home. I didn't know him so there was no rational thought behind it. It just made me really sad.

Another instance was also quite recently. I had some terrible class 'mates' in school. What they did to me is not the point, but the end result was me crying to which the teachers and school only had this to say:

Kids are cruel and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It went on for 10 years and obviously I feel some if not a lot of hatred towards the instigator of all this. He is an awful person but I hadn't given him much thought over the past few years until Dullface mentioned having met him. Apparently they'd spoken briefly. Anyway Dullface just mentioned having met him and said how he'd gained weight which pleased me. This one thing did open up something because I had a dream about the school days again later that week which had me waking up sobbing. At least I never turned to violence. There's always a silver lining.

15) WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE/PERFUME?

16) WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?

I like dark hair, short dark hair. To be honest I have no preferences when it comes to eye colour although something besides brown because my eye colour is brown.

17) WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?

I'd rather be funny than smart. Funny people have more fun, I suppose. Smart people are often arrogant and dull.

18) COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?

I've never had an energy drink ever and I don't drink proper coffee. I do like a café latté with a shot of espresso though.

19) WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING?

Gorgonzola cheese and cocktail sausages. Pure class all the way!

20) IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

A pizza with gorgonzola cheese and cocktail sausages.

21) WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD?

A customer who called me at work refusing to pay his car payment and insisting he didn't owe us money. He was quite rude. When you work in the department I work in, you get called a lot of names. Some more pleasant than others.

22) DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?

I speak Danish, English, a bit of German and a tiny bit og Spanish and French. I can say good night in both Russian and Italian too. On the whole I love foreign languages.

The English language is a lot more precise than Danish and I like that. Although we do have different words for a boy and girl cousins in Danish.
23) WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT THAT YOU REMEMBER SOMEONE GIVING YOU?

My parent's old neighbours gave me a Daisy doll when I was 7. It wore a sparkly red cocktail dress, tiny red heels and had a cute short'ish hair style. I'm not sure if Daisy is related to Barbie in any way but I loved her. I think it was my first stylish doll. First of many. I much preferred to play with dolls to all those things the boys played with.

I'd play with the girls, they were a lot less mean to me and combined we had the largest Barbie doll house EVER. It was awesome! I loved my Barbies. My father didn't.

24) DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?

I do. A lot but he doesn't like me in the same way. He's straight.
25) ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?

No, but my knees are kind of weirdly bendy.

26) FAVOURITE CLOTHING BRAND?

Dolce & Gabbana.

27) WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?

28) WHAT COLOUR IS IT?

Red. Or if I can't get that it would be alright with a black one I suppose.

29) WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF EXERCISE?

I don't like exercise. I suppose sex would be a favourite type of exercise although I also enjoy walking. Sex is by far a favourite though.

30) WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING

How can you keep yourself from falling in love? I haven't been able to do that, so yes. It would be practical if I could shut off all emotions and avoid all that nonsense and it saves the heart ache but I guess there's no fun in that.

Well, that's it. Now it's only to look forward to the next time I can blog. Oh, and of course to be happy and positive. No more rain!

Special birthday announcement

2011-05-17T21:14:00.001+02:00

As it is our fellow blogger, a woman I call a dear friend I've yet to meet Miss Roses birthday today I will take a bit of time to celebrate this very special day.

Miss Roses is incredibly optimistic (especially of late) and it is very infectuous. I hope and wish that I will grow up and be just like her someday. Fabulous, happy and gorgeous. We here at Sayhey adore her, and it's not just because she keeps sending us smutty books, but rather because she's just so freakin' amazing. Now, let's get on with the musical numbers as there's always a song and a dance (or two) here. LADIES!?!

Thank you Bette, for introducing the next artist.

Thank you girls! Roses, I do hope you are having a lovely day darling.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

New York you are fiiine

2011-05-06T19:42:00.001+02:00

As I am wandering around THE City swiping my credit cards left and right with Dolce & Gabbana, Armani and Bergdorf Goodmans bags in hand, I can't help but wonder a bit. Am I singlehandedly saving the global economic crisis or just one swipe away from a life in the gutter? Admittedly my mind has been there for years, and although not strictly in that sense, my body had followed a few times.

Still, as I sit here on a bench in Central Park on the Upper West Side soaking up the amazing sun and looking over at what I assume must be the skyline of the Upper East Side I wonder. Who are New York's Finest exactly?

I mean, I see plenty of very, very fine people - in every sense of the word - but I know it's a term for either the NYPD or NYFD (um, well in case that's wrong I hereby clarify that I do indeed mean those hunky fire fighters who risk - and some give their lives - during either fires, 9/11 and other hideous events). So which is it?

The police officers although fine, are by my observations lovely but usually eating, standing around talking, observing, throwing leftovers in bins or protecting and serving. I admire them a lot. They potentially encounter lunatics with guns etc.

On the other hand we have the hunky fire fighters. I've only seen a few. A truck with the Ladder 7 written on it. I'm assuming it has some significance because it surely wasn't the rating I'd give them. They were a perfect 10/10 to me. So ladder 10 from me, and my ladder was fully erected. What they were doing I have no idea. They were working some big hydrant and I assume the one of them had his big hose out at some point because the ground was wet and a little slippery. I also saw a calendar with NY firemen in a shop. I need to go back and buy that.

So although my vote goes to the fire fighters, who really IS New Yorks finest?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone in Central Park, NYC

Location:Central Park

Countdown: PeteNYC2011

2011-04-30T16:46:00.000+02:00

Retro poptastica

2011-04-05T22:31:00.001+02:00

I know you probably don't, but I do. I remember Sabrina ~~too famous for last names~~ Salerno. You see, I was skipping along to the joyous and careless beats of my ~~not quite working~~ trusty iPhone when all of a sudden an old italia dance classic popped on and there I was. Transported back to a time that for the most part wasn't very happy if it hadn't been to the cheerful 80s pop divas.

As we step back in time, I thought we'd just have a quick look at this particular superstar and her career. A word of warning, there'll be German dubbing as well, and you may not understand it all. You will however get a quick look at this multi talented girl.

If that wasn't enough, you can see a proper American segment here.

Sabrina ~~Salerno~~ is a STAR of Silvio Berlusconi's TV channels RaiUno and used to bless us with these magical videos.

Here's the hit record My Chico

or how about the runaway hit Like a Yo Yo

Or the fabulous and second hit single Hot Girl (PWL remix) from her first album

However, we all remember her European number one debut single Boys (Summertime Love)

That being a live version and proving why, oh why we here at SayHey still ~~adore~~ love Sabrina ~~Salerno~~. Hot dancers, dodgy dancing, roaring night club crowd and bad English accents. What's not to love?

You'd think that was all she can do, but you would be oh so very wrong. She acts too. She starred in many films and you can see the list here. Included on the list is the movie Delirium aka. Le Foto di Gioia. I happened to watch it a few years ago, and it was very 80s camptastic. See Sabrina ~~Salerno's~~ performance below

Did I mention that none of this is safe for work? No? Sorry.

To sum it all up. We here at SayHey LOVE Sabrina ~~Salerno~~

Did I forget to mention that I have a very large collection of her albums and singles on vinyl, tape and CDs?

On the town

2011-03-28T22:50:00.003+02:00

Last week was hideous. Truely hideous. Except for our resident witch's birthday of course. A beacon of light in the pitch black pit of depression that was week 12 of 2011. Thankfully the hideousness ended with me running out of work at 1.30pm to prevent myself from jumping out the window ~~although would make little sense as we are on the ground floor and I'd probably just scrape my knee and ruin a perfectly good pair of trousers~~ . Later I also shipped my parents off to the Canary Islands which means I have access to their washing machine while watching cable tv (I don't own my own washing machine and am forced to use the dingy laundry in the basement) and sipping lattés plus driving around in their ~~boxy~~ beloved Toyota Corolla Verso that fits 7 people. You'd think I finally found my ~~Tigerblood~~ groove because surely you'd think I was ~~duh winning!~~ starting to get back on top.

Things had just worked so well up until then because I'd gotten my Kylie tickets, plane tickets and I'd spent a lot of time finding the hotel I wanted to stay at in New York.

First of all, thanks to MJ for scaring ~~the shit out of me~~ me senseless with her friendly mention of bed bugs which seem to have taken over ~~the world~~ Manhattan. It's strange how people don't mention them but once you mention them, everyone has a bed bugs story or two. It's very unsettling. It was quite traumatic but thankfully the Kimpton properties in Manhattan don't seem to have any bed bugs problems according to the Bed Bugs Registry. Yes, there is such a thing. Again, scared senseless. All those red dots in Manhattan. Ick!

As I mentioned, I had picked the hotel I was going to be staying at. It was a lovely Kimpton Hotel right by Time Sq. called The Muse. In the end though, I had planned for so long, that there were no more available rooms at the hotel, so the joke was on me. Frankly, if they couldn't accommodate me then they weren't worth me even batting my eyelashes. Still, it threw me off a bit because I'd booked it on Tuesday or Wednesday, I can't remember, and got the bad news on Thursday at work. On the very day when I first suggested jumping out the window and a colleague said I could just walk out the emergency exit instead and spare my trousers. I can't help it but think I really missed out as it looks a bit European and doesn't have those hideous bedspreads that seem to be doing the rounds at a lot of hotels.

In the end, I ended up booking a Premiere Kings room at another Kimpton Hotel called 70 Park Avenue. You may ask, if I get kickbacks every time I mention Kimpton Hotels on this blogpost, but alas I do not. I wish! However I do have previous Kimpton experience as I stayed at one of their hotels in San Francisco in August 2009. A hotel with a view over San Francisco Bay and Bay Bridge. It was a wonderful experience and I have every hope that I will indeed be looking very much forward to arriving at 70 Park Avenue on May 2.

Yesterday I also happened to discover that my ESTA Visa whatever thingymabob I need to enter the United States does not run out until June 2011 which, as far as I am aware, means I won't have to re-apply and can just edit the one I have. WIN! I will have to read more about it though, because there could be some rule or something that says that I must re-apply. Another WIN was when the insurance company that I have my travel insurance with called me young. Apparently I qualify for a YOUTH policy. I feel so young again. A mere kitten.

I am a little bit sad, that I am missing Fleet Week.

So, all in all I am very excited about this whole PeteNYC2011 project. I still need to pick a broadway show to watch - any suggestions peeps?

Possibly meeting some lovely NYC peeps for cocktails - fancy a cocktail?

Hooking up with other lovely peeps from around the world - fancy going shoe shopping and out for drinks?

Let me know

Incredibly Dishy Vices

2011-03-22T20:54:00.002+01:00

It's never too late, as someone very fabulous once sang, so while it's still the divine mr. IDV's birthday we here at SayHey would like to send him our salutations and wishes for a fabulous year. To celebrate, we asked the fabulous Miss K. to do a couple of songs, especially for him (and you)

and while we would have preferred some nu-di-ty from him over at Miss MJs we will let it slide, this time.

Now everyone put your hands up for IDV

Happy birthday darling!

Not-so-live-blogging-Fame

2011-03-17T07:00:00.000+01:00

We here at SayHey watch it, so you don't have to. You should know the drill by now. Otherwise, do have at look at my previous Not-so-live-blogging events . Let me present to you, the most recent remake of the movie FAME!

Oh, bell's ringing. It's time for class!

It's 120 minutes of FAME!

Uh uh, Fame costs, and right here is where you start paying. In sweat!

Audition day, someone's spitting on the floor.

Eww Kelsey Grammar. Don't worry, he's not on screen yet.

The music isn't very engaging. Or good.

PEPSI truck. Wow, product placement.. Especially with the huge banner afterwards.

They've got ballet dancing. I think I may prefer Black Swan to this.

I'm not feeling this. We are 5 minutes into this.

They are auditioning, and ew there's Kelsey Grammar.

I haven't seen one guy I'd give a second look.

More Pepsi. I hope they paid through the teeth for that, but I seriously doubt it.

I like this Pepsi commercial better

It's also less long.

Ok. So Malik is not bad looking.

Karen from Will & Grace is in it. Can she be anything but bitchy?

Oh, was too busy reading Stefano Gabbanas tweets on Twitter.

Kelsey Grammar is probably worst dressed actor in this movie. Oh my!

They are in the cafeteria all groovin together.

This movie is trying to be so kool, that it really isn't.

They are jammin' and it ain't slammin'

1 hour and 40 minutes to go.

More Pepsi machines.

Malik is not as attractive as first expected.

This is really slow paced, and I'm so grateful I didn't go to the movies to watch this.

Ok, Karen is a little bitchy only less over the top.

I know I've paid £2.90 to watch this, but I doubt I'll finish it.

Fame anno 2010 (or whatevs) is really dull.

This makes me wish I'd rented A Single Man instead. At least I know that is a beautiful movie.

Right, this is too painful. I thought I'd be able to at least mock it.

It's unmockable, that's how bad it is.

I apologise for taking up your time with this.

Now THIS is more like it

Or this

Now, Spice World the Movie is a delightful movie.

I don't actually care how Fame ends. It was sucking the life force out of me. So, I guess you will have to watch it yourself if you want to know how it ends.

You snooze you lose

2011-03-13T19:08:00.000+01:00

I had a plan. To be ~~modest~~ honest, it was a great plan. As with my travel plans they always end up becoming spontaneous. I either start checking things out online and end up planning and planning and well, planning or I just book something. If I don't book something within a week, I'll never end up going. Most of the times these trips are spur of the moment things where I leave fairly quickly after booking.

The only time I didn't do that, was when I went on PeteUSA2009 and while it was an amazing experience going to America it wasn't a complete win for me. Dullface went with me and we have very different ideas about well, everything. The tour was planned down to the hour and I am not really that type of person. While I do appreciate being on time (always being 10 minutes late myself) I don't like having everything planned down to the last details. On PeteUSA2009 we had a schedule before leaving, and I'm telling you that if there had been a tropical storm, we'd still be on The Santa Monica Pier on that day if it was on the schedule. There was no changing things around because Dullface was ademant that if we switched two things around he'd be cheated somehow.

I'm not doing the whole schedule thing on my next trip. It'll be very spontaneous, and if I miss something then so be it. The most important thing is that I'm experiencing my holiday destination.

Plans change all the time and you just have to deal with it. What it really meant was that I had plans to go to London and Norwich for my birthday in late September. I was pretty excited about it and then I changed the plans a bit. I'd go to Manchester and Norwich in April. Of course I started looking for plane tickets and hotels. The hotel thing was pretty easy for Manchester but as I know nothing about Norwich that was a little more difficult. The 4 star hotels seemed to be outside town. Then I discovered that the airfare for Manchester was outrageous.

For the hell of it, I checked out airfares for Las Vegas and New York as well. This is where I discovered that for £100 extra (I ended up paying more because apparently when you snooze, you lose) I'd be flying to New York in May. I realise that I'll be disappointing a fair few of lovely people that I love dearly. However I had to go with New York. Mostly because the airfare was dirt cheap and the timing was just right.

In Denmark our vacation year runs from May to May which is pretty ~~ridiculous~~ ~~insane~~ odd but that meant that at the earliest I'd be able to go in May. I would actually leave tomorrow if I could because things are not all that brilliant of late, but I have to wait. The timing works so that I get to see Miss K live in New York at the Hammerstein which is a treat I'm sure.

So, I've got the Kylie and plane tickets booked but I still need to find a ~~suitable~~ 4 star hotel which is dirt cheap and smack dab in the middle of Manhattan.

Also, I need suggestions of what to see, and do while there. It would be lovely if we could go for cocktails too. Do come meet me. I'll be in town from May 2 to May 8.

Happy Birthday Miss Scarlet

2011-03-09T22:29:00.001+01:00

We've got to remember that love is love is love is love is love. Which is why team Sayhey is spreading some love here today. Be loud, be proud and be happy.

Today we are especially happy for Miss Scarlet who is celebrating her 29th birthday, and since there's no birthday without a little song, I caught up with my good friend Kylie and she sends this message to Miss Scarlet and the rest of us.

Or, if you prefer this..

PS. Don't forget to check out my previous post in which you will be introduced to the inner workings of my mind and that of those involved in the making of the movie Knight & Day.

Not-so-live-blogging-Knight-&-Day

2011-03-08T18:17:00.002+01:00

SayHey ~~at the movies~~ on the sofa watching Knight & Day starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz (my two least favourite actors) so you don't have to. ~~And believe me, you don't have to.~~ Like in my previous post about the Oscars, I'm using the Twitter format so you'll get the random comments, insights and what else comes through my mind during these next 110 minutes. I've decided to rent it on my fabulous YouSee box and am paying 5 quid on this, you'd better be appreciative bitches! Here goes.

Wow, this HD thing is awesome on my TV. Better get a BluRay player soon. The Twentieth Century Fox logo was gorgeous. So far, massive win.

Welcome to an airport. It's starting the same way as The Terminal. An actor I don't like in an airport. This is not boding well for the rest of the movie.

Tom Cuise's glasses were crooked and he was eating an ice cream. Ugly sunglasses.

Oh, wow. Celia Weston is in the movie. We LOVE her! She's not on screen, but rather her name popped up as part of the credits.

Cameron Diaz is looking a little farm girl'ish and ooopsie! She bumped into Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise's nose is MASSIVE!

Well, they are at least speaking English in this one, rather than some weirdo pretend language like in the Terminal.

OH, they bumped into each other again. Can't be an accident, can it?

They are keeping an eye on Tom Cruise. And by they, I mean the suits.

Cameron Diaz made it on to the flight with Tom Cruise despite her initial problems of getting on the flight. Something is fishy.

This is moving along quite slowly,

Cameron Diaz is telling us about her father dying and how she restores cars and wants to restore one of his old ones. For her sister who's getting married.

Tom Cruise ishas a weird left nostril.

Turbulence made Cameron spill her drink, and she's going to the loo. Leaving Tom Cruise alone with the 5 other people on the flight.

The other people are attacking him while she's jammering on at her reflection in the loo mirror.

The people die. Including the pilots.

It most certainly isn't Cameron Diaz first rodeo. She's looking like it's her 100th.

He tells her the pilots are dead and she laughs.

You'd think gunfire in an airplane would be more than a bit dangerous. I guess this is like Mission Impossible II where nothing logic has any relevance.

Tom Cruise of course lands this massive airplane in a corn field. Bad CGI galore.

Cameron Diaz moans.

You can say what you want about Tom Cruise and his acting. He is fit, no doubt about that. He took his shirt off.

She's drugged.

The jokes are lame.

Airplane explodes - thankfully we don't see much of that. Could have been another CGI travesty.

She wakes up at home. He's made her breakfast and little notes.

The safe, friend who wants her shows up. Rodney, a firefighter with an unfortunate moustache.

Cameron Diaz is taken into custody or whatevs by the so-called FBI. She's not safe.

She realises she's not safe, but the Chevrolets are unavoidable. First proper product placement.

How does it work with people who die driving. Do their feet really press down hard on the speeder pedal? Or is that to make his hideously lame car chase thing ~~exciting~~ more lame?

The blue screen effects are hideous. You just KNOW that Tom Cruise wasn't on top of a car for any moment during the movie.

I know you are just dying to know what the clothes are like. Well, dull would be one way of looking at it.

The movie reminds me of a really lame version of the Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn movie Bird On a Wire. I loved that! Although all that Goldie did was run around whining and screaming.

Cameron Diaz fire fighter friend is a little bit adorable. I think it's the nose.

Tom is wearing the hideous sun glasses again.

He shot the dorky fire fighter but it's all OK apparently. Another car chase.

The banter is poor at best. They may have chemistry, but the dialogue is awful. This is only one third through the movie.

Oh, look! SHELL service station. How much did they pay for that?

They are explaining the plot. Apparently it's all about a little battery that has lots of juice. TC (as I decide to call him from now on, or until I find a more fitting nickname) was protecting the battery and the guy who made it. Someone 'inside the agency' wants to steal the battery and sell it.

Exciting stuff huh? No, I know! It's not really. Maybe I should have picked Did You Hear About The Morgans? Can't be worse than this.

They are visiting a so-called 'safe house' now. You just know there'll be soldiers attacking from all sides and TC will kill'em all any minute now.

The soldiers are taking their sweet time attacking.

BINGO!

It's all very ~~exciting~~ noisy. Correction Cameron Diaz is very noisy.

Am thinking about what to have for dinner. Maybe pasta and gorgonzola sauce.

Oh, Cameron Diaz was drugged again.

They are captured. TC his dangling upside down with his shirt off. All the 40-50 something women are drooling.

Hell, it was a bit drool worthy.

She was drugged again.

Waking up in a bikini on a beach far away from people shooting. That's any girls dream right?

TC trying to pull a Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. It's not working for you honey.

Board shorts and a dead fish. No thank you.

He is fit though.

While TC teaches Cameron Diaz to protect herself and they frollick on the beach, I went to get a pudding cup. It's lovely, contrary to the movie.

Now this is sort of a what's that movie called moment. Um, Anne Heche and Harrison Ford like.

She's drugged again. Or at least wakes up somewhere else.

On a train in Austria and she's hungry.

I can't blame her for thinking of food. So do I.

Could really do with some pasta right now. Yum!

There's the classic scene of being followed through a train.

Fight scene! For someone who doesn't know how to fight, she really does know her way around a train kitchen.

They all unite. The inventor of the battery, Cameron Diaz and TC.

The fight continues. Now the super human aspect from Universal Soldiers where a knife in the heart doesn't mean you die.

Ridiculous!

Now they are in a luxury hotel in Austria. They are smitten.

Cameron Diaz playing spy now. She's jealous of mysterious and attractive woman who is meeting TC.

I understand why. We all saw the tired looking Cameron Diaz with her small and saggy boobs.

Now she's been summoned by the FBI. The evil guy is with this kool black woman who is his boss. I think.

They are trying to make her give him and the battery up.

Suddenly Cameron Diaz has lovely clothes. The black coat is gorgeous. It's so wasted on her.

I don't know what to think. TC is running on roofs. Now I watched The Tourist, and I don't know if I'd rather watch him or ~~Johnny Depp~~ Captain Jack Sparrow do it.

Venice is prettier than this Austrian city though.

TC was shot and fell in the water. Bless.

Speaking of water, I'm thristy.

Too bad, it doesn't end here. It actually continues.

Fitz, is and this is no surprise at all, a bad guy and he is taking the battery maker somewhere unsafe we are betting.

CELIA WESTON! The ONE redeeming quality of this entire movie.

Miss Weston is TC's mother in this and doesn't know her son is still alive. Bless. She looks like she really does miss him.

I can't for the life of me understand why.

Another sort of car chase. It's getting boring, it's oh so boring and I don't recognise the zombie I'm turning into.

Drugged. Again.

They are in Sevilla, driving Mercedes now.

Dinner would be lovely right now. Still, 20 minutes left.

The plot thickens and there's an exchange of battery creater and some evil Spanish guy. Antonio something. He looks charming.

TC is obviously alive.

It's an HD quality which I've got to say is worth it. It looks lovely.

There's shooting going on and it's about as exciting as the Acapulco Heat action scenes from the 1990s

More car chase with the added feature of them riding a motorcycle and bulls are running after them.

More poorly done CGI for the bull fighting arena and blue screen stuff.

The Mercedes Benz logo is very prominent though.

Suddenly Cameron Diaz is like master shooter and it's very Mission Impossible II again.

Bad advertising for Mercedes Benz because battery maker just did something the car from the trunk. Not sure they are keen on that at Mercedes HQ.

Evil Fitz wins over TC in the sun glasses category.

KABOOOM! Dodgy battery. Fitz and his plane just blew up.

Unflattering angles galore! Cameron Diaz doesn't mind looking ugly ugly apparently

The drag queen Tyra Banks always talks about looking ugly pretty. This was definitely ugly ugly.

Black woman wears fabulous coat. The FBI woman.

Cameron Diaz just drugged TC. For a change.

The role reversing is not working. They are on their way to Cape somewhere in South America.

She just said "Get some tunes on the radio mister dj". I guess "hey mister dj, put a record on" was too expensive.

End Credits.

This is really dull. I can't believe I sat through it, or paid 5 quid for it. Well, I look at it this way, at least now you don't have to.

Now go forth, and watch a good movie like Black Swan!

Lam cam

2011-03-06T15:56:00.002+01:00

From golden treats to Australian treats, here's exclusive footage from our Lam cam.

In case you are interested in seeing how you make Lamingtons you can catch Nicko whipping up a batch right here.

I know you are all running to the kitchen to make a batch of Lamingtons but if you like Kylie and have 11 minutes to spare, I'm inviting you to catch a rare glimpse of her in this brilliant interview.

I don't know about you, but I had a little sniffle there.

Not-so-yes-it-really-is-live-blogging-the-OSCARS!

2011-02-28T02:16:00.081+01:00

UPDATED: Scroll to the bottom for more info!

I don't remember exactly when I started watching the Oscars, but I remember the first time I watched it was in my bed. Since then it's taken a life of it's own. Now it's lushious dinner, Champagne, chocolates and whatnot. I also started out not so much interested in the actual awards. Now don't get me wrong, I still adore the red carpet and it gets my full attention, but the actual awards now get just as much attention.

Also, I was kind of roped into doing a live blogging of the awards, and I still think that's a mistake but for you my dears, everything! It'll take the format of the fabulous Twitter network where you get a little comment about something rather once in a while. It can be anything from who wins the award to how a dress looks or how good (hello Sandra Bullock darling!) or bad (hi Halle Berry dear!) an acceptance speech is. Or whatever.

The show hasn't started yet, but while I gather the last bit of chocolates and grab another bottle of Champagne, please do chat amongst yourselves.

Here we go...

Ok, funny into going on. James Franco is a lot more attractive than Alec Baldwin that's for sure.

Um, James Franco in a white leotard. You'd think this was hot but it really isn't.

OH hello there Anne Hathaway in a gorgeous bejewelled white grecian dress. I love Anne (will probably say that a lot tonight)

Who is the woman with Marky Mark? She looks a little bit like Molly Sims, maybe a poor mans version.

The Academy Award set design is really nice this year. Less sparkly and gaudy. A little bit kool.

Tom Hanks just needs to stand there to bore me. It doesn't take much at all, when he opens his mouth *YAWN!*

I think first Oscar was for set designs and was won by Alice In Wonderland? I kind of tuned out because I was bored out of my mind by Tom Hanks. Sorry, hopefully he won't show up again.

Oh, he continues.. He's put his glasses on, and no it doesn't make him look any less boring.

Wally Fister won for Inception. Not sure what the award was for though. Just thought the name was worth mentioning.

I love Amy Adams!

Oh, Cinematography was the Wally Fister Oscar. Bless.

I liked the intro to the show with James Franco and Anne Hathaway visiting the nominated movies in the good old Inception stylee

Oh, oh Kirkie! Kirk Douglas is in da house! Wonder where Michael is - is he in the In Memorium segment?

I don't understand a word Kirk Douglas is saying. Bless. I feel like they pulled him out for the novelty factor. Poor guy.

Best supporting actress award now! I want Amy Adams to win, but it will probably be Melissa Leo.

Awww the little girl is cute with her diamond hairband.

Hugh Jackman is HOT! I liked him as an Oscar host. A lot actually! He wears suits very well, as well as nothing.

Kirkie is stalling, and it's torture to the poor girls who haven't eaten anything in days.

Melissa Leo won and oh my god she's going to cry. I can feel it.

I hate Melissa Leo's hair. The dress is lovely. She was in Marky Marks movie The Fighter. She's sweet.

Still want Amy Adams to win.

Ooooopsie! Cussing on stage? No, no. There we go, come on cry cry cry - you know you want to!

Lost interest, go way Melissa. Thank you.

Hello there, hi Justin you look really pretty. Marry me?

On a totally unrelated note, I'm feeling a little tipsy. Where are the caviar puffs? WAITER!

Animated feature film - exciting stuff? It'll probably be some Hollywood thing that wins. Toy Story 3 anyone?

I just knew it! Bless. I wouldn't know if it's any good. I gave up watching Toy Story 2 obviously I haven't watched this sequel.

The winner is yammering away and he has dark circles around his eyes. Looks like the masks Robin wore in Batman & Robin..

He (the winner for Toy Story 3) was no super hero though.

On the Danish transmission we don't get commercials, but rather 3 specialists, they call themselves. They analyse the show and winners.

I love clips from the old shows, and past winners.

Penelope Cruz closeup. I didn't need to see *THAT*

I find white tuxes tacky.

Aaron Sorkin just won for The Social Network - adaped screenplay. What a dull movie.

His speech is just as dull.

Oh, the music, I love the - get the fuck off the stage music - and Aaron Sorkin is just not getting it. Send Kirkie back out there and pull him off stage.

Must say he's not winning any awards for his speech.

First win for The King's Speech (Original Screenplay) one of many if you believe the bookies. Funny man, he is. I like him a lot. No idea who he is but do I care. No.

Aaron Sorkin, take notice! That's how you do it. Short and sweet, and funny!

I am watching The King's Speech on March 9. Not very fussed about it, but I'm sure it's great.

Anne Hathaway is singing, and it sounds nice. The shoes are HOT. They are sparkly Louboutin's. I can't remember what they are called, but they were in the same collection as Bridget's Back!

Wow. James Franco as Miss Marilyn Monroe. Nice arms!

First jab at Charlie Sheen!

Helen Mirren looks amazing and speaks fabulous French!

Foreign Language Film - WE ARE NOMINATED! Susanne Bier for In A Better World. Must win!

YES! She won! She's so pretty, let's see if she cries.

She's shaking a lot, wow! At least she didn't fall.

Reese Witherspoon in a black Armani Privé. Hate the hair, but a lovely and very safe dress.

Mark Ruffalo is always charming. Ben Affleck looked hot in that Jeremy Renner movie, as did Jeremy Renner.

Christian Bale, winner of supporting actor. He should have shaved. He looks like that dull guy from Castaway.

Now we are down to less than half a bottle of champagne. Got another bottle in the fridge though.

A sort of brown dress on someone from Disney. It works! Maybe you'll see this in my red carpet post later today/tomorrow

Hugh Jackman is so hot. I like Nicole Kidmans hair and necklace, but the dress is not my cup of tea. Well maybe a cup of green tea, I don't like that.

Who scores most originally you may ask? The answer's on a postcard, or well, forthcoming.

The Social Network, Trent Resner and someone else. We are not impressed as we like A.R, Rahman.

Trent is attractive though. Oh, he's married. Never mind.

Matthew McConaghey and Scarlett Johansson presenting best sound or something. I just couldn't get past the fact that Matthew needs a haircut and Scarlett needs a new dress.

Matthew McConaghey is either very tanned or Scarlett Johansson is very pale. Either way, it looks ridiculous.

He looks good in a suit though.

Tron Legacy lost best sound editing. The Shame (haven't watched the movie and don't know what it's about but it looks interesting hence it should win)

How can you not think this is best for sound editing?

James Franco is not as good a host as Anne Hathaway but he looks good. Thank you Academy!

Oh, oh, Marissa Tomei in a vintage dress. Love it.

Oh god, I really hate Cate Blanchetts dress. Absolutely hideous. Maybe interesting, but definitely ugly. You'll see this in my red carpet update for sure.

The Wolfman won best makeup. Just as Cate Blanchett said about her dress "it's gross!"

Or, maybe she means the makeup in the movie that just won? Nah, she must mean her dress.

Costume designs! I love that category.

Alice in Wonderland? OH well, at least it wasn't that hideous western True Grit. The winner previously won for Memoirs of a Geisha and Chicago.

She's shy, reading out of a note. Come on, look at us at least once!

People are less excited about winning this year. Or there's more reading from cards and jammering on about everyone they've ever worked with.

Kevin Spacey singing, no no no. You are NOT George Clooney!

Helloooooo? Is this thing on?

Randy Newman is singing the Toy Story 3 song We Belong Together. I'm not a fan.

Maybe if I had some more champagne?

Mandy Moore singing with some hottie. Not bad. I like this.

Actually, I quite adore Mandy Moore. Her dress looks gorgeous. A blue waterfall type dress.

Oprah is coming up. WHY? It's like, why is she there? It seems she's keeping Celine Dingdong and Mr. bad wig Trump

Apparently Mo'nique who won an Oscar last year refused to present an award this year - do you know why?

Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhall make a gorgeous couple. She looks a bit nervous or maybe she's just peeved she didn't win (I don't blame her)

Love Amy Adams dress!

Nice afro! The guy Luke Mahene, The God of Love - well, his hair is insane. He's just thanking people we don't know, at least he does it quickly. Bubye!

Awesome dress and hair for Anne Hathaway!

He doesn't own a shirt - Taylor Lautner! HOT! That's about the only Twilight thing I like.

James Franco is good at standing there looking kool!

Look! It's Oprah with the humungus boobs!

They are really gigantic aren't they!

Oh, Robert Downey Jr. is coming up - I'm sending you lovely thoughts Roses.

Billy Crystal is here, hello! Well, now that you've seen the venue from inside you can go again. Thank you.

We here at SayHey love Bob Hope!

If only Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law could make out.

Jude Law is the best dressed of the two. Sorry Robert.

We've now made it to the stage where there's a million people coming on stage for the acceptance speeches. It bugs me.

I am at the moment talking about Inception winning for the special effects I think.

The Social Network won another award. I was hoping that the speech wouldn't be as dull as Sorkins. At least this was shorter.

Anne Hathaway changed dresses again. This is a red dress and I like it. Her hair is again, fabulous.

Jennifer Hudson in an orange dress with her boobs strapped in the halter top but still doesn't look good.

Her hair is pretty though, and she's lost a LOT of weight. Not sure I like that.

Another musical number but this is weird. It's A. R. Rahman but it's still weird.

Ugh, now dull Gwynney is singing, or she tries to. I'm not buying it. Ugly microphone (is it a Mr. Microphone?).

Jennifer Hudsons boobs are squashed by the halter top. Not flattering.

Toy Story 3 won for best original song, Randy Newman. His second win and 20 nominations

His speech was somewhat funny.

After the break it's In Memorium.

Celine Dingdong is singing honouring the dead.

Tony Curtis, William Fraker, Leslie Nielsen, Patricial Neal, Robert Culp, Lynn Redgrave, Jill Clayburgh, Dennis Hopper, Blake Edwards, Lena Horne and all the others.

I am sorry to say, but I had forgotten a lot of these had passed. Like Dennis Hopper, wow! When did that happen?

I don't like Celine Dingdong and she scares the bejesus out of me. Thankfully we didn't see her much and I am a big fan of mute.

The analysers are jammering on about there not being a female director nominated this year. Oh, well, get over it.

Another gorgeous gown for Anne Hathaway!

Even Hillary Swank is wearing af fab gown. To bad she looks awkward in it.

The King's Speech won another award. Do we have an Oscar count? I don't remember. I know that Inception won 4 so far.

Awwww. Nice speech for Tom Hooper from The King's Speech. I won't listen to my mother though.

Not sure what I think about Annette Bennings dress. It's a little like an outdated Tron dress. I like her though. Yet, I don't want her to win best actress.

Hello Mr. Eli Wallach. I like him a lot. Much respect and he's less painful to listen to than Kirkie Douglas.

Jeff Bridges seriously needs a shave. He's presenting best actress. Let's see if it won't be Miss Portman for Black Swan.

God I hope Natalie Portman wins.

Yay for Natalie Portman! Her first nomination was for supporting actress in the (dreadful) movie Closer.

You can rest easy Princess because Nic didn't win.

Natalie, you are getting boring, you're oh so boring and I don't recognise the zombie you've turned into.

Oh oh Sandra Bullock! I LOVE her.

She's so funny.

Colin Firth won. This was no surprise what so ever. He should have won last year for A Single Man though.

Colin is fairly amusing compared to Natalie Portman.

Right, Colin darling, I think it's time for you to bid adieu while the audience is still forgiving because your speech is becoming rapidly more dull by the second.

I hope Black Swan wins best movie, but it most likely won't.

The King's Speech won.

Now, the PS22 chorus is singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow. I much prefer this

So, that's it. It's all over now. Another year and we'll be here again maybe live blogging or maybe not. Nobody has commented yet.

Stay tuned for a red carpet event later today.

UPDATE!

Join 'Petra over at 'Petras Palace for a thorough walkthrough of the Oscar Red Carpet, and you may see why Nicole Kidmans' hands are so hideous.

If you don't love me

2011-02-26T23:03:00.001+01:00

It seems appropriate that I write this on the one week anniversary of our Saturday night with Kylie Minogue. You see, there's a story in there as it turns out.

I knew of Miss K and her work and had for years. Then things went terribly wrong in camp Pete and in whirl of tears, anger, hurt, pain and of cours glitter I ran for the hills. When I say hills, I don't mean actual hills because the only proper hill we have is this which is quite pathetic actually. Hills, in this little story is our kingdoms capital Copenhagen. Although Copenhagen quite quickly turned into Helsingør which is not very far from Copenhagen. It had a school where I could stay and maybe learn some compassion for others less fortunate than myself, and maybe learn not to exploite good old Mother Nature. It was the right thing to do, for everyone involved. As I mentioned, things at home were awful (my family thought it even worse) and it was a way for me to get away, gain some perspective, redo my makeup, find a lovely boytoy and perhaps never come back again. It turned out, I did move back and ended up at my childhood prison for a few months before I got my own flat

My time at the school (this was NOT for juvenile delinquents, depressed people or in any way the kind that you were forced to be at because you were chavvy and the like, just fyi. Read about it here if you like), was quite the experience as I ended up doing things I never thought I'd ever do. There was a lot of sitting around and talking, playing games, having fun, plays and whatnot. Most of the things I never thought I'd do were the dancing and trust exercises. Basically I was the one that stuck out because I hated sharing and I didn't trust anyone.

At this time Kylie had been Spinning Around for a while and On A Night Like This had been doing the rounds. So, Kylie was doing it for the Kids with Robbie and I needed that happy music. It was the only thing that kept me happy (it also helped once I got to know those freaky normal people at the school from all corners of the world) and so on March 23 2001 I took the train in to Copenhagen and partied with all the other gays at the tiny venue VEGA. We were 1500 people cramped in there dancing. I was in 4th row from the stage and it was possibly the most unique and intimate concert by a major artist I've ever attended.

Since then, I've attended one of all Kylie's tours. In total it's been 7 including an appearence she did at the Skanderborg Festival aka. Smukfest in 2009.

Those 7 concerts includes Miss K's latest word tour Aphrodite Les Folies the opening night in Herning, Denmark.

Let's just make it clear from the word go. No, I was not on that video. If you squint and shake your head furiously you may catch a rare glimpse of my ex boyfriend who is said to have been there. Well, he told me himself but that's neither here, nor there.

That particular Saturday was a lovely one. I woke up early, and spent a fair bit of the day lounging on the chaise corresponding with the ever so lovely Miss Roses on spacebook. Then in a whirl of glitter and panic I managed to get my outfit on and hurry out the door to meet my ever so lovely bestest friend evah.

We arrived at the venue about 5.30pm and were ushered to our private Splash Zone entrance where we checked in and got our Splash kits and wristbands. As we stood there waiting for the powers that be to open the doors a man (who looked a bit familiar) came over and poked me on the shoulder asking if I were me. I told him I was, and he handed me an envelope and explained that they were thrilled that I had been such a loyal fan and purchased the Splash Zone tickets. The man, who turned out to be Kylie's manager Terry, told me that they would be giving me a refund of the tickets I'd purchased less standard admission and Kylie had signed the "exclusive photo" in our Splash Packs. We were well happy with this, and then time came for us to be escorted to our exclusive Splash Zone.

We made it to second row by the main stage which turned out to be an awesome place to be. Miss K treated us to awesome facial expressions, even more awesome singing and a stunning show. Splash Zone was on fire on opening night in Denmark. It was only appropriate that Kylie and her team had prepared a water show to finish off the show with All The Lovers and sprays of water over our little patch within the stage.

Kylie took us through the gods and goddesses and the mythological world in a way that only a pop show can do. Taking it's liberties, and making sure that it all looked and sounded fabulous. We were treated to a majority of album tracks from her platinum album Aphrodite (buy it here) as well as a lot of the old hits. When I say old, I mean mostly from within the past ten years. There was no Locomotion or I Should Be So Lucky, which I found a bit refreshing as it left room for other tracks.

Quite a few songs stood out, but this went down incredibly well within Splash Zone (which consisted of quite a lot of hardcore Kylie fans and the like) as you can hear here

You can hear me wohooooing on there. Quite a lot. The track is If You Don't Love Me and the fact that it was performed was mindblowing as it was only released as a B-side to a single back around 1996. So, yes lots of wohooooooing going on as well as amazing footwear.

Let this be a wonderful time to say that Dolce & Gabbana did an amazing job creating all of Kylie's outfits for the show. There's not much else to say about it but

and of course, I took the following photo with my iPhone to show you all how Dolce & Gabbana thinks a goddess bathing suit should look.

Credits: Kylie, the wonderful Yorin on YouTube and my lovely iPhone 3G S.

PS. Stay tuned for the Academy Awards (maybe not-so-live-)blogged tomorrow

T-minus 6 hours 19 minutes

2011-02-19T13:41:00.000+01:00

We are very busy getting ready, but received this from our dear friends at Dolce & Gabbana to share with you

You don't have to wait until March, when you see the show yourself, or for me to come back from the show. All you have to do is feast your eyes on this nugget that was shared with me by the lovely people in camp Kylie (obviously it ended up on Youtube as well)

I'm sure you'll be able to feel the glitter and love.

T-minus 24 hours and counting

2011-02-18T17:32:00.000+01:00

We here at Sayhey are very excited about joining Kylie tomorrow for the world premiere of her show Aphrodite Les Folies show. In less than 24 hours I'll be queuing at gate 3 to be escorted into the Splash Zone.

I do hope I'll see you there.

T-minus 2 days

2011-02-17T11:37:00.001+01:00

Only two days to go and we can bare do anything but get our glad rags (no, not sanitary napkins thank god!) on, and start marching away towards the venue.

Is it just us, or has the temperature risen in here?

There's no need to rehearse this one, we ALL know it. Breaks my heart to see it, knowing she was coming off stage with blurry vision from the illness. The showgirl must go on though.

T-minus 3 days

2011-02-16T11:19:00.001+01:00

We here at Sayhey are very excited this week. Yesterday we had band rehearsals and planning of setlists. Today it's time for the dance rehearsals

We are quitely confident about the progress.

I do hope rehearsing this one will pay off

We are coming, are you?

T-minus 4 days

2011-02-15T21:18:00.000+01:00

We here at SayHey are all gearing up for Saturday. Everyone's preparing setlists and rehearsing for the big day

Do join us, won't you?

We are coming, are you?

Happy Super Boel XLV

2011-02-06T23:47:00.000+01:00

Not sure what XLV stands for ~~Xclusive Louis Vuitton?~~ but whatever it does mean I am certainly digging it. So, for all you fellow tight ends and wide receivers out there

Happy Super Bowl!

PS. Be sure to visit the lovely 'Petra over at 'Petras Palace.

If I had to do it all again..

2011-02-04T07:57:00.001+01:00

Ok. Right, you ungrateful gits. You know, if I had to do it all again I wouldn't change a thing.

But what would you change about your Sim ?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Kool & the Gang

2011-02-01T22:28:00.000+01:00

I finally managed to install The Sims 3 on my trusty new MacBook last night. One of the most entertaining things about the game, is creating the Sims that you later play with. Yes, I love playing the charaters of course, but half the fun is creating Sims and styling them later and all that girlie stuff. Well, it IS a girlie game afterall.

Now with the risk of getting shunned from the Coven and Roses having me assasinated or worse, I have decided to release the photos exclusively to you, my dear readers. Here goes

MJ, IDV, Tim, Beastie, Roses, Miss Scarlet, Princess and myself

Can you see who's who? Well, in case you can't, here's the list.

Tim

IDV

Beastie

Miss Scarlet

Roses

Princess

Obviously I've taken some liberties, creative calls and had a bit of fun doing them. Please don't be offended. With Miss Scarlet I was sort of going for a Marilyn vibe but she ended up looking a little like Amanda Lepore. Sorry.

Bring it on

2011-01-30T16:28:00.000+01:00

As the first month of 2011 is rapidly coming to a close, and the only thing worth mentioning (except of course chatting up Roses on facebook and receiving a present from her because we love her here on Sayhey!) was that last week I got a text from the good people at MasterCard telling me to call them.

I did of course do that immediately, and they told me that someone had used it the night before - twice - charging a total of 3505 quid on IT goods. Outragious! The good people at MasterCard told me not to worry about it, and that they had taken care of it, and I wouldn't be charged. They obviously cancelled the card and are sending me a new one.

In case you are reading this, you, yes you - the one who used my card details - F*cker they are coming for you! Oh, and burn in hell.

With that out of the way, we now look forward to a new month and so far February looks like it'll be the most eventful month of the year. Doesn't say much does it, with two events. There are of course other plans in the pipeline for later this year which I of course will let you in on sometime soon.

The first event is on February 19 where I will take part in the opening night of Kylie's new world tour Aphrodite Les Folies 2011 (which takes name and inspiration from Ziegfeld Follies). Of course I'll be right in the middle of things. Fronrow and centre in the Splash Zone.

Apparently there'll be what the press release calls 4D visuals. I assume it'll be something like the Ralph Lauren fashion show

The water features in Kylie's show Aphrodite Les Folies 2011 are designed by the same people who do the Bellagio fountain water works in Las Vegas.

So, my pretties I do hope you'll get a chance to go. Miss K may be coming by a venue near you. For the unlucky US and Canadiennes out there - you'll be able to see a scaled down version of the show. Tour info can be found here. A tour not to be missed.

Australian dates to be announced.

The second event of February is the following where the Oscars - The Academy Awards take place live at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. Again this year, it promises to be a show with glitz and glam. Of hits and misses and another year where Jim Carrey and Russell Crowe don't stand a chance in hell to win an Oscar. Good times!

A Danish movie is yet again nominated for an Oscar Hævnen - In a Better World in the category Best Foreign Language Film. It has already won a Golden Globe which of course Ricky Gervais mentioned (he was right) was the category that nobody cares about. I of course have no desire to watch the movie but everyone's raving about it.

I LOVE the Oscars. They've always meant something to me, and they still do. It used to be exclusively about the outfits and speeches but over the years I've become more and more interested in the movies we celebrate. It would be nice to have watched at least one of the movies before the show. Just to know what all the fuss was about. For instance the movie which was nominated for the most Oscars, The King's Speech. A whopping 12 nominations, and yet it's not coming to our cinemas until April.

To be honest I feel cheated. I watched a couple of the movies. Inception and Harry Potter 7 part 1. That's all, and yes Black Swan and The Social Network have been shown here and I'm now ruining my arguement. Still I find that every year, movies that haven't seen the light of day here due to distributors stalling, are honoured at the Oscars. They should be honoured because they are some of the best movies out there, yet it would be nice to be able to sit there on Oscar night thinking that out of the 10 (seems excessive doesn't it?) movies nominated for Best Picture you really thought X should have won instead of Y. For me, so far, I'll be thinking back to Inception and not being able to compare it to any of the other nominated movies.

On the subject of nominations for Best Picture, yet still going a little off on a rant when I should be wrapping this up. Well, 10 nominations for Best Picture? It seems a bit excessive. Is that a flexible category? If the movies stink next year, will there only be 3 nominations or will they have to nominate something like The Green Hornet 3D?

Bleugh!

If you have 11 minutes to spare, here is a nice little Australian short film in which Kylie goes beserk. I know, speaking of Best Picture and all that..

Hoptimism

2011-01-16T00:45:00.000+01:00

First post of 2011 and it's the 16th today. I can't believe it's been so long, but I've been fairly busy with Twitter, Facebook, work, my sofa and of course my parents move.

My parents started packing their home into boxes mid December and ever since then, I've been getting emails, texts and calls from my mother, all sounding something like this

"I've just found (insert item here - Tee-hee!) are you interested?"
"Are you interested in (insert item here - Tee-hee!)?"
"Do you remember (insert item here - Tee-hee!) from your childhood? - would you like it?"
"I know you are going to want (insert item here - Tee-hee!)"

Let's make it clear, my parents have some great stuff, but my mother also has a bizarre habit of holding onto things that she got from someone and thinks is ugly. So she tries with all her might to pawn it off on her sons.

My evil bro is getting it easy, because he has a house and has gotten all their gardening equipment (which he actually did want). Because of this, my mother wants to "make it up to me" by showering me with all her living room rejects. It's all well meaning of course, she genuinely thinks I want it all. I try brushing it off by saying evil bro should be asked too, because it's not fair for me to take it all.

Truth be told, I've already been given what I really wanted. That is, a china pattern set for 12, and glasses called Princess by Holmegaard. They, like the china, are discontinued now and I've always loved them. I've never actually seen them being used when I lived at home, yet they were apparently my mothers favourites. I think my father was too lazy to wash them up by hand.

Of course I've ended up with 4 massive boxes of books, kitchenware and other items that I'm not sure I'll ever use but my mother seemed happy. I also got their dining room table and a computer desk for my bedroom.

As for my parents? They moved in on Tuesday this week. Their swanky 94 m2, 3rd floor, designer appartment in the center of town with a view of the river/lake(s) being a little small for their select furniture and 65 moving boxes. I suppose they'll need to do more sorting before they can settle in completely. I had the pleasure of joining them after work on Tuesday to see the appartment, and help them with a bit of lifting. The movers had been there earlier that day, and so all they had to do was empty the boxes and put their furniture in their designated spots.

Obviously, they did not agree at first, but once I started coming up with helpful suggestions they seemed to join forces and focus their frustrations on me. I guess some people just don't appreciate suggestions from people who clearly have an eye for interior designs. That being the case, they are filling their appartment to the brink with furniture and their sofa is in the middle of their living room. I kid you not. You practically stumble into it walking in there. It's such a shame.

Another thing, about filling the appartment with furniture, they have a dining table in the kitchen. Their kitching is one of those open kitchens with a half wall between kitching and living room so you have the view of the river when you are cooking, with a passageway to go from the kitchen to the living room. On the other side of the half wall, they want ANOTHER dining table - for guests. To me, that's just wasteful when your appartment is THAT small. Anyway, I promised myself not to get worked up about it, because clearly they won't listen to me. I'm sure I can get you photographic evidence once they are settled in.

There is just one more item of my parents that would mean a lot to me. Yet they are not going to part with it until they leave this world. That is one of these

This is (not our) Hoptimist, but a photo of an original one from 1968 designed by Gustav Ehrenreich just like the one my parents have. It was given to my late brother in the late 1970s around the time I was born and he got sick. The Hoptimist is a symbol of hope and optimism, which I think is wonderful in these slightly depressing times. They have gotten a revival in the past 6 months and as you can see if you follow the link they come in many colours, shapes and sizes.

In a recent interview Kylie did here in Denmark, to promote her upcoming tour, she was given one. We love our Danish designs.

For Christmas, my evil bro gave me the small wooden Baby Bumble in smoked oak

However, I opted to take it back to the store in favour of the proper Bumble.

Which is bigger. I simply love it. You can tell by the antenna and the eyes, that it's the male. The female is the Bimble with wider eyes and no antenna. The Bimble is a little too much of a hoochie for my taste.

All I need now, is to name my Bumble. I thought of just naming it Bumble, but that's its sex, not its name.

What do you think I should name my bumble?

Get outta my way

2010-12-30T22:05:00.000+01:00

It seems like forever ago I wrote my last annual review however it does feel like this year has passed by rather quickly. What's most disconcerting is that I can't remember much of it. I had to look most of it up. For instance, I can't remember the last time I read a book.

Another thing was when I took a couple of those news tests where you have to remember certain things that made the news this year. It gave me a 4/20 and a comment of "were you out of the country a lot?". Which I wasn't. I was home all year long, but I must not have paid attention. Then I took the 'celebrity scandals of 2010' test and scored 9/13. If that's a good or bad thing, I'll leave up to you to decide.

The year did just fly by, and we saw Kylie releasing a new album, Robbie rejoined Take That (and practically took over the BBC and ITV it seems) and The Black Eyed Peas went number 1 in the UK with the worst single of the year The Time (Dirty Bit).

There was also some Royal news as the Norwegian king had an affair, Prince William finally proposed to his Kate, Danish Queen Margrethe II turned 70 and Princess Mary of Denmark got pregnant again (baby expected to drop any minute now).

Let's face it, it's not really about *them* though, is it? It's about me. I can do that, this being my blog and all. So, shall we?

Book Challenge

The challenge of the last few years, was for me to read 12 books. One per month. However as I mentioned earlier, I can't remember the last time I picked up a book. So it was rather shocking for me to realise I've read 16 books!

Not all the books were mentioned here on the blog, so I'll list them all for your viewing pleasure.

My Side of the Story by Will Davis

See here

I Lick My Cheese and Other Notes: From the Frontline of Flatsharing by Oonag O'Hagan

See here

The Straight Road to Kylie by Nico Medina

See here

The Distance Between Us by Bart Yates

See here

The Sims 3: World Adventure Game Guide by Prima Games

It's a game guide, so I can become even more enlightened when it comes to the true glory of The Sims 3

The Englor Affair by JL Langley

See here

The Broken H by JL Langley

See here

Handyman by Claire Thompson

See here

The Assignment by Evangeline Anderson

See here

Lovers Who Stay With You by David MacMillian

Basically an erotic anthology with a vampire theme. Not at all my thing. I read a few of the stories but it left me a bit sick and I had nightmares. Not at all sexy.

Precious by Sapphire

See here

Being Human: The Road by Simon Guerrier

See here

Being Human: Chasers by Mark Michalowski

A sequel to the other Being Human book.

Being Human: Bad Blood by James Goss

A sequel to the other Being Human books.

Pretty in Plaid: a Life, a Witch and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomanical, Self-Centered, Smart-Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster

See here

Most were enjoyable, but I must admit that I much prefer this one.

With the success of Book Challenge 2010, I think I'll try again next year. I've got a lot of books stashed away under my bed for these cold and snowy/rainy days. In this type of weather, I find that a good movie is there to help me along. Either at the cinema or a DVD.

Movies of 2010

I love movies, and I've got a few DVDs so in order to find out what I've actually watched this year, I've had to look through my bookshelves as well as search my mind to see what I've actually watched this year. I think Hermoine was a little too thorough when she did that Obliviate spell a few weeks ago.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

The first of the last Harry Potter movies. It had a good build-up to the big climax. I still don't fancy Harry as it just seems so wrong. He's 21 but I remember him as that little boy with the round glasses. Ewww. Can't wait to see the final movie though.

Up In The Air starring George Clooney, Vera Famiga, Anna Kendrick and Jason Bateman

This was good. You'd think any movie that's nominated for Oscars would be good. Yet, I made the mistake with Sidewaysbut Up In the Air is good. George Clooney could charm his way through anything I'm sure.

Sex & the City 2 starring 'The Girls' and Liza

Everyone says this is terrible, and was even worse than the first one. I actually prefer this to the first one. Although I must say I don't much care to get Carrie'd away. She's so whiney.

The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw and Kathy Bates

I'm not into sports movies and the only reason why I watched this was because I adore Sandra Bullock. She delivers and deserved the Oscar. It's a wonderful movie about so much more than American football.

Post Grad starring Alexis Bledel, Jane Lynch, Carol Burnett and Michael Keaton

Sweet little chick flick starring Rory from Gilmore Girls about the troubles after you finish college.

Vampires Suck

Anything that mocks Twilight is alright in my book. I'm shocked it's not a Zucker Bros. movie.

The A-Team

Action/comedy starring the always hot Bradley Cooper. It's funny and action packed. I'm not sure if it's anything like the original TV show because I haven't watched that but the writing is not exactly Hemmingway or Henry James.

The Expendables

I'm not a fan of this. Hard hitting action with a touch of comedy. Basically it's an 80s rehash of all the B-movies these has beens have starred in. I do however fancy the pants off Jason Statham

Inception

I like the idea of this movie. The acting was good, and the CGI was not bad. A fan of CGI, I'm not but it worked in this. This wasn't CGI for the sake of CGI or cutting cost or saving a trip to the actual place.

Avatar

I watched this in early 2010 I think. Needless to say I didn't like this. It will be very difficult to find a more overrated and over exposed movie. EVER. I think I'd prefer to watch Twilight see my commentary on this here again. Blue creatures who run around on a planet and speak their own 13 word language for 162 minutes. No thank you. The story could have been, and probably was written on a cocktail napkin. My reason to watch this CGI travesty was the 3D. I had to see what that was like. Meh, I wasn't impressed.

My favorite is this one

I may have watched more movies that came out in 2010 but I honestly can't remember. That Hermoine is a skilled witch. Either that, or my Time Capsule is playing tricks on me.

TV Shows

I've followed 6 new TV Shows (new episodes) and 3 vintage ones. By vintage I mean old, taken off the air shows. They are as follows

Desperate Housewives

I wasn't too keen on Edie being fried and Kathrine being committed, but I still like it.

Being Human

I'm not really a vampire/werewolf kind of person, but I did think the idea of a ghost, werewolf and vampire living together trying to lead ordinary lives. It's good!

Hawaii Five-O 2010

I've never seen the original series, but this is action packed, bright, sunny and beautiful people. How can you not like that?

Bones

I'm not keen on dead people or soggy corpses/remains but I am keen on David Boreanaz and I like the chemistry between the characters.

White Collar

Matthew Boomer. Enough said.

Covert Affair

She fights crime in Christian Louboutins. Oh yes!

Dynasty (vintage)

I've got the first 5 seasons on DVD, and season 6 was just released in Denmark. I love that show. Takes me back. Shoulder pads and BIG hair galore.

The O.C.

I started recording this, and watching it on the weekend. However it never quite caught on. I spent some time mocking it a little on Twitter but it wasn't enough to keep me watching. Perhaps it was Tate Donovan who was just way too awkward and plasticy.

Beverly Hills 90210 (vintage)

I've been recording this on my box, and it's great. We've made it to episode 86 which is around the time the gang made it to college. The Dylan/Kelly romance (he should be with Dylan!) is a little rocky and Brenda had a brief stay in Minnesota.

My favourite

Dynasty

Biggest disappointment is still

From movies and TV we move onto music.

Top 4 albums I bought

I didn't buy a lot of albums this year. To be honest I don't buy a lot of music so it has to really catch my interest.

1. Kylie Minogue - Aprodite

The album contains the 3 singles All The Lovers, Get Outta My Way and the most recent Better Than Today. It's a complete hands up in the air dance pop album. Very positive and upbeat.

2. Scissor Sisters - Night Work

Contains singles Fire With Fire, Any Which Way and Invisible Light Utterly brilliant camptastic pop album. Pure joy with little nuggets of hilarity if you listen to the lyrics.

3. Hurts - Happiness

It's a bit Pet Shop Boys ish album. I like it. There's first single Wonderful Life which is just brilliant along with Better Than Love and Stay. Kylie joins Hurts for a duet on Devotion. Not really my type of album but I like it a lot.

4. Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster

I didn't buy the first version of this album, but I thought it would be fine to get this one. With all the 'old hits'. The only really awful track on it is the Telephone one with Beyonce. I'm not saying this album is amazing but it's a good 'greatest hits' album considering she's only done this one proper album she's done pretty well for herself. She's gone overboard with the styling though. When she put on that meat dress and the telephone hat, she became a caricature of herself. A bit of a joke really.

My singles top 10 of 2010

Kylie Minogue - Better Than Today (Club Junkies Remix)

I didn't quite know if I should pick Get Outta My Way (7th Heaven Remix) or this one, but I opted for this because it's ~~a little bit overlooked~~ brilliant.

2. Example - Kickstart

Love it!

3. Scissor Sisters - Any Which Way

Camptastic, and love the video.

4. Cheryl Cole - Parachute

Her most recent stuff doesn't really tickly my fancy but I like this. The video is gorgeous.

5. Hurts - Wonderful Life

Love it. I'm glad that I'm not one of those Hurts girls though. Not a fan with being too long under water. I prefer it a bit more sunny and lounging by the pool with a colourful umbrella cocktail.

6. Roll Deep - Good Times

I've never heard this on Danish radio or on any of our music video channels. I did however watch this on the UK Top 40 and I love it. It's so happy.

7. Robyn - Dancing On My Own

I remember this girl from the days of Do You Really Want Me. She was huge in Denmark back then, and voilà she is again. Love this song. She's quirky and not conventionally pretty. I mean that as a compliment.

8. Take That - The Flood

They were everywhere with this song, which is a shame really. I love it, but there is too much of a good thing (when we aren't talking Kylie). It's mostly just Robbie Williams feat. Take That. That's how I prefer it. The Robbieless Take That were boring.

9. Alexandra Burke - Start Without You

I like this song, but I do have to confess that the video does have something to do with it getting into my top 10.

10. Katy Perry - California Gurls

I hate to admit I like the song, but I thought this was great too.

From the best to the worst songs of 2010.

Top 3 worst songs of 2010

A lot of crap was released this year, but these 3 take the cake.

1. Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)

Quite frankly the most hideous track of 2010. I mean, if Ann Widdicombe had released a song it would still be better than this pile of shite.

2. Rihanna - What's My Name

Just no. No, no, no, we don't care.

3. Duffy - Well, Well, Well

Well, well, well... What the fuck happened to Duffy. I mean, I've never cared for her music but this is awful.

Before we end this almost epic review, we have one more thing to do..

Top 10 hottest men of 2010

1. Ryan Reynolds

2. David Boreanaz

3. George Clooney

4. Jake Gyllenhall

5. Bradley Cooper

6. Cesc Fabregas

7. Matthew Bomer

8. Chris O'Donnell

9. Zachary Quinto

10. Mark Salling

So, the annual review is over now. Happy New Year everyone (and thanks for all the holiday wishes)

Testing 1-2-3

2010-12-24T09:02:00.001+01:00

So, last night I brought my laptop and Time Capsule along when visiting the parental unit. I also brought a bag of exotic cooking oils, marinates etc., home made biscuits, fresh home squeezed orange juice and a bottle of Mumm Champagne but that's beside the point. My point was, as it gets older by the second, I don't have actual Internet access but rather am blogging from an iPhone app. As always there's an app for that!

All I really wanted was to wish you all a very merry Christmas as my Christmas is today AND tomorrow. I've got a million things to do before then. First I'll have a glass or two of Mumm to steady myself and maybe watch this again. Bless.

Holiday mix CD 2010

2010-12-19T21:16:00.000+01:00

I've been spending this weekend trying to figure out how to get my new Time Capsule to work. Which of course it doesn't, or sometimes and not perfectly. You'd think it would be easty to just power it up and BOOM! you've got yourself af new wireless harddrive for your laptop that also works as a router. I wish. With some jiggery pokery, I did manage to force it into working as a router, only to discover that I have to constantly register my devices including but not limited to my MacBook Pro, iPhone 3G S and an HP media center with my Internet supplier. Of course I can also only access my beloved Time Capsule from my HP media center, which makes complete sense because I haven't installed the AirPort programme that the MacBook apparently requires to set it up. Yes, I'm beyond thrilled.

So this is my first blog entry through this Time Capsule device, and if it's going to be my last you'll never know. Because of all this, I've decided to be a little festive, and steal an idea from the fabulous Tim and do a mix CD. This however will be more holiday related, so if you are all bah humbug you'll have to deal with it. The songs are not in any kind of order as to which one I like the best, although you can imagine about the first one on the list.

1. Kylie Minogue - Let it Snow

This is a new recording from Miss K and I think it's fair to say that it's pretty damn good. I first heard of it on Twitter, and then before long it was available on iTunes bundled with her delightful cover of Santa Baby (performed live at the tree lighting ceremony in NYs Rockerfeller Center 2010).

2. Mel & Kim - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

This is, to me, a classic. Probably one of the first contemporary Christmas classics I liked. It's fun, it's catchy, the video is hilarious and I liked Kim Wilde. I have memories of dancing around the Christmas tree in our hall to this song wearing a pair of grey leggings and an oversized red jumper. Good times!

Some might prefer the lovely Brenda Lee version to this though. I like that too.

3. Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone

To be honest, I had never heard this one before last year. I own quite a few Christmas albums and how this didn't make it onto any of them is just shocking! Outrageous!

How great is this!

4. Bing Crosby - White Christmas

This is probably THE Christmas classic. I adore this, and it shouldn't be covered because nothing will ever come even remotely close to it. We'eve always heard this at my parents house at Christmas. I even bought the movie White Christmas because of it. This is the essense of Christmas. Funniely enough, it looks like it'll be a white Christmas again this year.

5. Ove Sprogø - Når Du Ser Et Stjerneskud (When You Wish Upon a Star)

The Danish version of Jiminy Cricket (Jesper Fårekylling) When You Wish Upon a Star that features in the Disney From All of Us to All of You show. It's not Christmas eve before you've heard (and seen) this. They show it every year and evil bro and I used to sit and watch it with our crazy aunt. When that song came on, we knew it was not long before the big feast and then it would be time to dance around the tree and get our presents.

Sing along now. Come on everyone!

6. Nat King Cole feat. Natalie Cole - Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

This is not a song I've ever looked for, but rather one that my mother was really fond of. Sometimes these things rub off on you. It's like Sir Cliffs - Mistletoe and Wine which I am shamefully admitting to liking too. We always heard these songs for Christmas.

7. MC Einar - Det' Jul Det' Cool (it's Christmas, it's cool)

This is a late 80s early 90s Danish Christmas classic. One that I started by thinking was fun, but now it really is kool. A little dated, but kool. It's not your typical romaticising Christmas, but rather dealing with all the over consumption and greed in a very smartly sarcastic way without alienating people. You may just think it sounds weird, and if I were in your place I would have to agree. I have a memory of sitting on the loo singing it on the top of my lungs once I was home alone, and the paperboy came and he yelled at me to shut the fuck up. Of course, at that point it was June.

8. Wham - Last Christmas

There simply is no Christmas without Wham Last Christmas. Everything from the song to the video just screams perfection. I can't hear it enough. It's another song that I've danced around in grey leggings and oversized red jumpers to.

9. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby

Santa Baby has got to be the most covered Christmas song of all time. Everyone from Ally McBeal to Madonna, to The Pussycat Dolls and Taylor Swift have covered this track. Even Kylie made a delightfully sensual attempt (which I prefer to most of the other versions). Eartha Kitts version is still number one in my book. *PUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

10. Britney Spears - My Only Wish This Year

I know. I'm not proud, but I really do like this. I ended up buying a really bad Christmas album called Platinum Christmas back in 2000 because of this one song. I tell you, the rest of the tracks from S Club 7, Steps, Monica, TLC, R Kelly to name a few were absolute crap. This song made up for the $20 it cost. CDs were very expensive back then - and still are around here.

11. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas

This is another song you just can't get around. The year it was released it was in the Danish top 10 through mid January. There was no denying it. Of course, I waited years until I bought the album. Mostly because I'm not a Mariah fan. Still, this is a delightful little holiday nugget. It's like the Pringles - once you pop you can't stop.

12. Various Danish Artists - Let Love Be Love

Probably one of the only good Danish holiday songs. This also did incredibly well on the Danish chart. It seems we (and by we, I mean everyone else) love our Danish artists. You may recognise SOAP who had that hit Soap is in the air. It's a little sappy, but that's the holidays, isn't it.

Because I'm really nice, I'll include some guilty pleasures as B-sides.

B-Side - Spice Girls - Sleigh Ride

There really are no words.

B-Side - Aqua - Spin Me a Christmas

If for nothing else, their videos are hilarious. This one too.

Until the Time Capsule works again, Merry Christmas my pretties.

My first time

2010-12-05T15:04:00.001+01:00

This is my first. My first time.

There are a lot of firsts in ones life. Some more pleasant than others. The first time we spoke, crawled, walked, got an A in a test or on an assignment. The first time you played a computer game, jumped off the 10 meter at the local pool, wore pink, had sex, mixed wine and strong liquor, saw Paris Hiltons coochie, watched Gilmore Girls, saw Kylie live in concert and read that one book that came to mean so much to you.

It's a very long list.

I had another first on Thursday. It was very day. You see, Friday last week, I got an email from a delivery service that confirmed they would deliver my Apple kit Thursday. So, Thursday I was home around 3.30pm because the delivery boys would be by any time between 5 to 10pm. Naive as I am, I thought they'd be by pretty early because I live in the centre of town but by 8pm I was very impatient and pretty much giving up due to the snow. At least they could have called or emailed that they wouldn't deliver, I thought.

Then at 9pm they came. I must say what the delivery boy lacked in beauty, my Apple kit most certainly made up for. Everything was there, except the Time Capsule which will be delivered at some point I assume. Although there's still no news on that. Anyway, everything is so gorgeous - even the boxes everything came in was gorgeous. There's no excess styrofoam or other junk, everything is precise and luxoriously made just like my MacBook and Apple Cinema.

After unwrapping the gorgeous equipment, I started corrupting it. Most Mac enthusiasts (fantatics?) would call it the abomination, OUTRAGEOUS! even. However, I'm not one to be playing with a Snow Leopard, you could lose a finger or worse. Being an MS Windows gay, and having been for about 15 years it's not easy to change, and you know what they say. A leopard can't change its spots, or something to that effect. Anyway, it proved pretty easy to violate the sanctity of the Snow Leopard, and my MacBook is now dancing with the devil.

Now, I just need to learn how to use it properly. You see, obviously there are no Windows keys, that's a given. However, there is no Del, End, Home or Insert keys either, and it took me a while to figure out how to work out how to correct the whole issue with the ONE button mouse/mousepad.

I promise I'll take a photo of the setup when I'm all done. I was supposed to clean my flat today, but somehow I can't find the energy and inspiration for it.

This is my first blog post I've done on this fabulous MacBook, and I'm obviously doing it from my sofa while watching the show White Collar (first time watching that!). There's just nothing bad I can say about this laptop. It's divine.

I find that I must stroke it every day, the MacBook (you filthy people!). On that note..

THE FILTH!

Now that we know the O faces of the JLS boys, how do you look at that magic moment? Please feel free, to share your photos.

When, O when will you meme?

2010-11-25T20:57:00.001+01:00

I've been tagged. It sounds really serious, and to be honest this meme is both delightful and scary all rolled up into one.

You see, Roses wants to know what the ingredients for my secret recipe for my perfect man are.

It's difficult to say, and a little scary because first of all, I risk coming across more selfcentered and shallow that I actually am. Secondly, if I actually type it out it'll be "out there", like saying something out loud that really shouldn't be said out loud.

To be completely honest, I don't know what I want. So I've taken the approach of what I like rather than want.

I like..

working and it would be nice to have an equal who does too, so a minimum of work related bickering is avoided.
having nice things, and since I don't make a lot of money it would be nice if he does.
cooking so it would be great if he doesn't but rather enjoys tidying up, cleaning and washing up.
beauty so it would be fantastic if he was.
nice people, so it is essential that he is nice.
cuddling and staying in bed/snuggling up on the sofa, reading and watching movies. So it is another must that he does too. With me.
to be anywhere but at the gym but it would be nice if he could inspire me to go and make it fun for me.
movie history, and it would be important that he has at least some interest in movies.
nay, adore Miss K and it would be essential that he at least, at a minimum, doesn't mind her.
being a complete lush, and it would be essential that he likes a drink now and again and isn't an alcoholic.
being a bitch from time to time, and it would be nice he could put me in my place now and again.
the toilet paper under, but to be quite honest I'd take it any way he wants it.
staying in, a lot, so it would be nice if he could (from time to time) drag me out on a Friday or Saturday night for a spot of dancing on the bar with fierce high kicks in designer heels and flashing of knuckleduster gold ring.
frivolous things and it would be essential that he doesn't look down on that.
I like the colour red and he should be able to deal with it.
expensive Champagne and he should like to give me that.
London, Las Vegas and San Francisco so taking me there from time to time would be a plus.
I like David Boreanaz, and it most certainly couldn't hurt to look a bit like him

singing around the house, and it would be great if he would too.
keeping the toilet seat down and it would be greatly appreciated if this would remain down whenever he isn't using the loo.

In the end though, I could make a list that goes on forever, but I just be greatful if I found a nice guy who I love and that would love me back.

You try wearing these heels

2010-11-15T20:30:00.000+01:00

I like beautiful things and it's not my fault that most of those are designer things. I've been told a million times, that I only love things because they were Dolce & Gabbana or Gucci or Armani. It's not my fault that they make such beautiful things though. It's also the easiest thing in the world to say, because you don't need to back that up. Then again, it's not like I owe anyone an explanation.

People who only wear certain designers and don't mix and match, are in my opinion fashion victims.

That said, I *do* like Dolce & Gabbana, Armani and Gucci. Unfortunately I just can't afford to buy a lot of it. Especially not now as I'm saving up for another trip to Las Vegas where I will most likely be ~~buying way too many fabulous things and~~ seeing Miss Minogue live. It's all very up in the air still as I've saved a total of £50 as of yet and it isn't looking good. It's not that I don't try, as I do play the Lotto most weeks, and I'm just about to win the £3 million prize. I just know it!

If I did, I'd most certainly be getting pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. One must have a pair of those, and I don't. Not yet anyway but these are most certainly on the shortlist.

Christian Louboutin: Bridget's Back!

These fabulous Christian Louboutin studded peep toe ankle booties come in 3 colours

Silver

Gold

and black

Now if I only had those £1,800 times three.. Be careful, the price tag is not the only thing dangerous about wearing fabulous designer heels..

This used to be my playground

2010-11-14T21:32:00.001+01:00

I don't go about referencing Madge much. Why would anyone? I'm certainly not going to embed the deadfully boring video on here. Anyway it seems like a fitting title, because this will be the end of an era for me. Some things end, only to have beautiful new beginnings somewhere else.

Personally I feel at home pretty much anywhere I hang my hat - or am. Moving somewhere new is not a problem for me. On the bus to work the other day, I counted and I've lived 8 (9 if you count a little move to London that didn't last long, where I stayed in a dreadful hostel) places in my life.

My family moved into my childhood home in 1975, years before I was born, so I've never experienced moving with my parents. This also means they've lived in the same house for 35 years. As my parents aren't getting any younger, they've decided to move to a gorgeous designer appartment in the center of town with a view of the (tiny) harbour, the lakes and forest. Only a stone throw from the town square, as the realtor states. This means they put their house on the market. Less than two weeks later it was sold. They've since closed the deal on the designer appartment and they are now waiting to take it over on December 1st.

Personally I couldn't care less if they sold the house. I have no feelings towards it. It is, afterall, just a house. My memories from there are also primarily bad, because it wasn't a fun time for me. Evil bro on the other hand, is miserable. He lives about 200 meters from there in his own house, and his evil spawn are often spending time at my parents house playing etc. So it'll be impractical for him, when they move.

Anyway, I was looking at the realtor website and it doesn't look like the house I grew up in. Partly because they've upgraded the house a lot since I moved out, and then of course because they've tidied up a lot and partly because realtors are magical. They can make even the crappiest shack into a fabulous mansion. Both in words and pictures.

Now, this is where the pictures are coming in. I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane with you. Remembering my childhood home. This is the overview of the house

We start by looking in the multiroom where evil bro lived for one summer before getting a flat of his own.

The only thing in this room that has changed is the content. The two boxes behind the chairs are mine. There's old books and other junk in there. The wooden chairs are going into my storage room because I'm getting the table that goes with them. Let's go to the hall.

Back when I lived at home the walls were yellow bricks, the floor had brown carpet tiles and the door was wooden. My room was up there to the left, across from my/guestbathroom and straight forward is the master bedroom.

There is no photo of my old room, I don't know why, but this is the view from my room.

My bathroom.

Notice the characteristic blue 70s tiles are still there. The bathtub is divine, and it's the only thing from there that I miss. The best thing ever was to be lounging in the bath with loads of foam, something to drink and a fashion magazine or five. I'd spend hours there. There is also a shower cabin behind the door. Somehow that's less divine.

This is the master bedroom. In the old days it had a fuzzy carpet and a weird purple type colour on the walls. Maybe it was a forest berry.

On to the master bath, which curiously enough does not have a bathtub which is ia little underwhelming if you ask me. Anyway, it does have a bidet. I grew up there, and never found out what one actually uses a bidet for. We used it to wash our feet in because it took less water to fill that than the bathtub.

This used to be my evil bros room. My parents call it the office now, but I only know it as the peach room. The curtains are hideous. Notice the door to the sun room. We (well, I only did it to piss off evil bro) used to use that door to the sun room more than the one from the living room. I guess my parents did it to try and guilt evil bro to tidy up his room. It didn't work.

From evil bros room to the living room which is quite large (but not as large as it looks on the photos). In the old days the dining table was over to the left by the black chairs.

This is where the black chairs and TV was in the old days, and we had these hideous brown curtains. I used to be scared if I was home alone and the curtains weren't drawn when it was dark outside.

In the old days the fireplace was brown bricks, and the furniture antique furniture that was inherited from my mothers mother and her family. We never sat here. Now, we find that it's the only place we sit when we are not at the dining table.

This is the sun room. It was built in 1993 I think, and it's not a place one would want to sit in winter time. It's a nice place for Sangria on a late summer evening. Not that we ever did that when I lived at home.

The kitchen. The colour of the room is awful, and before this green colour, it was orange and yellow.

The floor used to be multicoloured orange, yellow, green linolium.

The utility room which looks much larger (like all the other rooms) than it is. Notice the authentic 70s green tiles. It used to be dark.

This is the back garden.

This all used to be my playground.

On top of all this selling and buying of real estate, my dear (and odd) aunt passed away in her sleep about four weeks ago. May she rest in peace.

Re-imagining

2010-10-22T22:59:00.000+02:00

Continued from here

['Petra's iPhone started vibrating intensely in his hand]

I'm sorry, I've got to take this. 'Petra said, holding up a hand before turning around listening to the high pitched wailing on the other end of the sleek, gorgeous, piano black iPhone. Very well, I'll be there in a second 'Petra said, turning to face the Coven elders. I've got to go, something very personal has come up. I'll be back before you know it. Sorry.

'Petra then spun around in the Louboutin heels, snapped her fingers and disappeared in a shower of glitter and sparkles.

A moment later, 'Petra was in a dingy, low lit, filthy apartment. A bedroom to be more specific, facing a woman sitting by a bed crying. 'Petra hid in a darkened corner with a box of old magazines with crossword puzzles. A policeman walked over to the woman sitting on a chair she'd covered with a newspaper. Ma'am, we need to go. We need to lock the apartment until we've determined if this was foul play. The woman turned and looked the policeman straight in the eyes, but we found her like this, she said. The policeman helped the woman up. She smoothed her Chanel skirt, wiped her eyes and walked out not saying a word.

'Petra heard the key turn in the lock and the clacking of Prada pumps walking down the stairs outside. Without hesitation, the Louboutins made it across the room, almost like the heels weren't touching the dusty and extremely dirty carpeted floor. 'Petra kneeled down on the filthy floor, and looked at the woman his mother had been hunched over. She looked so tiny, peaceful yet disturbingly pale. 'Petra reached down and wiped the hair away from the old womans forehead and mumbled an incantation.

The old woman started breathing again, opened her eyes and frowned. What on earth did you do that for?!? the old woman demanded. 'Petra looked down at the woman, who was wearing a smelly old nightgown and responded. You were dead! The old woman pulled up the dirty duvet and said, I know! Finally, I've been waiting 20 years for this and then you go waking me up to this nightmare.

'Petra frowned. You are right, it does look fairly nasty in here. Allow me to do a home improvement so we can talk. 'Petra snapped her fingers and in a shower of glitter everything in the room became clean. The chandelier glowed and the old woman stared with her mouth open. Don't get too excited, it's all an illusion darling, 'Petra said. Oh honey, you simply can't wear that old thing! 'Petra snapped her fingers again and the old woman was wearing a white silk night gown, matching silk robe and diamond earrings and necklace. The bare feet suddenly in a silver Gucci stiletto.

The old woman smiled, this is how I used to live you know, she said. 'Petra motioned the old woman to follow her. As 'Petra moved from the bedroom to through the hall, dining room and stopping in the lounge snapping her fingers on the way. Everything transformed. The dirty carpets turned into gorgeous wood and marble flooring, wallpaper was repaired and cleaned, chandeliers aglow and sparkly, furniture sparkling clean and the air clean and fresh. The high ceilings, stuccowork and paneled walls looked like it had in it's heyday 20 years earlier. It looked amazing, and just like 'Petra remembered.

The old woman looked misty eyed at the transformation. I'm so embarrassed of how it turned out, she said. Referring to the old sick that had been in the corner by the bathroom door. It had been covered by a bit of newspaper but the old woman couldn't get down that low to clean it up. Actually, it was in her head. She thought, she couldn't get down that low without risk of falling. It was tragic, but this wasn't the reason 'Petra had come. The old woman looked around for something to drink. Being dead had made her a bit thirsty. Again, without a word 'Petra snapped her fingers and a tray consisting of nibbles, two martini glasses and a pitcher of martini appeared.

Martini? 'Petra offered. Oh sorry, I forgot. 'Petra snapped her fingers again and a bottle of Moët appeared along with two Champagne flutes. I must have inherited my taste of Champagne from you dear Auntie. They clinked their crystal glasses and took a sip. We don't have that long, but I thought I'd come and pay my final respects in person, 'Petra said smiling.

Eloise smiled, it's alright dear. I'll miss you most of all. You were always my favorite, although you stopped calling. I realise I'd stopped living 20 years ago, and I wasn't that fun to be around. 'Petra put a hand on her aunts and smiled wickedly. When you started drinking wine out of cardboard boxes, and put up those hideously orange curtains, I had to say stop. There would be no recovering from that, Eloise.

The old woman chuckled. We had a good run though, didn't we? You used to vacation here all the time, begging to join my dinner parties. Back in the day, playing Draughts, solving puzzles, playing cards and drinking Champagne. I knew you were special 'Petra. A 10 year old who thinks Champagne tasts divine - that's a keeper in my book. Eloise wiped a tear from her eye, and smiled. I'm sorry I let it all go. I had my problems.

'Petra took a sip of Champagne. It's not your fault though, Eloise, you couldn't help it. Nobody could have foreseen you falling in love with a married man. Especially not one who 10 years down the line, would die only weeks before his divorce was final. Let alone one who was divorcing one of the most powerful dark witches in the area. I can taste the curse in the air. The b-uh-witch cursed you! 'Petra couldn't believe she hadn't sensed it before. Elosie shook her head, no matter she said, wiping a tear from 'Petras face with one of her perfectly manicured hands.

Was that the red nail varnish Vicious Tramp? 'Petra couldn't help but wonder. No matter, it was all fine. It was done, nothing could be changed. Errrr.. Auntie? May I ask you a question? Eloise, arched a brow and looked expectantly at her, niece? nephew? Oh, who cared with labels these days. 'Petra looked apologetically at her aunt and asked. What's the real story about all those men that came to your door when you looked upstairs from grandmother and grandfather? Eloise chuckled. Oh how could you not know this. I thought your dear mother had filled you in, but no matter. I will tell you the real story.

It was another time back then, and I'd just moved out of your grand parents apartment. Through my work at the criminal courts office, I'd gotten to know a lot of policemen. They would come up for visits and I may have been playing the field a little too much in my fathers opinion, Eloise explained. I also happened to meet a very nice sailor who I took a liking to. We had an affair and people in the building started talking. This is why my father took me aside and told me to act proper. A few years later I met my married man, and the rest as they say is history.

'Petra was intrigued but didn't push it any further. Instead she poured another glass of Moët for them both, and they clinked glasses. To death, Eloise said smiling wickedly. I remember two things from a few years ago, 'Petra said. Things that I'll forever smile when I'm reminded of. Eloise frowned a little, I'm not sure I'll like what you are about to remember, she said.

The most vivid memory is when Mrs. Maxwell upstairs died and the handymen broke the floor and your ceiling, Eloise. You didn't want them to come in and fix it, and told them you'd take care of it. Then finding out, after they'd left for the weekend that your entire bathroom was filled with dust and rubble. That was not the worst part though. Then come Monday, they handymen were back, and you didn't want to go to the loo when they could be ogling you from up there. What's a woman to do, but squatting over a bucket in the bedroom. This was only part of it, you then poured your liquids into the kitchen sink..

Eloise looked a little embarrassed, but recovered quickly by raising her glass and toasted. To an old womans silliness! They clinked.

'Petra continued, this time with another silly tale. I remember being told of how you'd gone to the grocery store and bought apples, creme cheese and a cardboard carton of wine. Then just as you are about to step into the building, you fell over backwards and sat on the bag - and wine! Thankfully, someone saw you and helped you up to your apartment also bringing the bag with you. Of course the bag was now leaking red wine, and so you thrust a roll of kitchen towels into her hand and told her to go clean it up. The way it was told to me, made it sound very funny.

Eloise smiled a little again. I remember that, I was so embarrassed and had to get rid of the woman she said.

I on the other hand remember taking you out to lunch 'Petra. You were about 8, a very mature 8. I ordered us open sandwiches, and mine were roastbeef and other 'adult' varieties. When they brought yours in, we both stared at the plate mouths agape. Do you remember what the third sandwich was, 'Petra? 'Petra smiled from ear to ear. Yes, I do, 'Petra answered, it was buttered white bread with thin slices of chocolate and banana on top. I don't think I'd ever eaten anything that gross before. Eloise smiled, you didn't eat it though. I remember you throwing a hissy fit at the waiter who brought you an entirely new plate identical to the one I had. 'Petra chuckled, sounds like me but I don't remember that.

The two sat there, enjoying the Champagne. It was nice, 'Petra thought. Just like in the old days. The light in the chandelier started flickering and 'Petra knew it was time. She looked at Eloise, and Eloise frowned slightly. It's time, isn't it? Well, let's go then 'Petra.

'Petra walked Eloise back to the bedroom, the rooms behind them turning dark and dirty again. Eloise, laid on the bed and pulled the crisp silky sheets up to her neck and smiled. Thank you for giving me a little extra time 'Petra. 'Petra kissed Eloise on the forehead and they said their goodbyes. Then 'Petra snapped her fingers again, and Eloise laid there, cold and peaceful again, the room surrounding the two also back to it's dark and dreadful state. 'Petra wiped a tear from her eye, and snapped her fingers again, and in a shower of glitter and sparkles returned to the other Coven members here, one second after she'd gone.

Only this time, wearing a gorgeous black Gucci cloak.

You're on in 5 Miss 'Petra

2010-10-10T14:42:00.001+02:00

Hello?
No, this is her assistant. Miss 'Petra is not available at the moment.
Oh.. very well, I'll get her.

Assistant: Miss 'Petra ? I'm terribly sorry to interrupt but you've got a phone cal..
Miss 'Petra: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SHOOTING MY NEW VIDEO?
Assistant: But it's *THE* call

Oh just give me my iPhone Sarah, exclaimed Miss 'Petra.

Hello?
5 minutes?
Doesn't give me much time to change
Right, of course they weren't
Thank you darling
See you in 5

Who was that? asked Sarah who was Miss 'Petras assistant. Miss 'Petra smiled wickedly at Sarah and yelled "ENTOURAGE ASSEMBLE NOW!"
Once the beauty team had assembled they were instructed, "I need to get out of the dress and these light gloves".

Everyone scrampered along and Miss 'Petra was finally freed from the wire prison before following her stylist into her dressing room.

We have two minutes to find something that goes with this hair, and these nails, Miss 'Petra said. Something glamorous, because this is a very special event.

Something long and floaty, with thigh high slits perhaps? That's it! That green Michael Kors is hideous Jon. Burn it or find another job! Miss 'Petra said before putting on the dress.

It's almost time! Sarah screamed running in and pushing a pair of Christian Louboutins into Miss 'Petras arms along with the iPhone.

Miss 'Petra hurriedly put the iPhone in silent mode, got into the Louboutins and in a shower of glitter & sparkles she disappeared..

only to reappear slightly jetlagged but ever so poised in front of two very lovely Coven elders here.

Apple hoor

2010-10-08T23:21:00.000+02:00

Around five years ago I bought my first Apple product. It was an iPod Shuffle and I loved it. Of course I was a huge step for me to buy something from Apple. To be honest, I had this hate relationship with Apple products. They weren't proper computers, and they weren't nearly as good as the proper PC's. What was worse, was that they weren't compatible with anything non-Apple. That was probably the biggest issue for me.

At the end of the day, getting an iPod Shuffle wouldn't be a huge deal. After all it was just an mp3 player and it worked with a proper PC. I eventually made the decision to get one, and by goddess Kylie I loved it! It was gorgeous, dependable and easy to use.

It must have been fate, that my iPod passed away shortly before the iPhone was launched here in Denmark. I signed up for the iPhone because it seemed like the best thing since sliced bread. Also I never thought it was going to catch on here. You see, we are like Nokia country (despite Nokia being from Finland) and the iPhone was so pricey. I hate being on the bandwagon when it comes to new stuff, and I weren't really because I'd decided to get one long before it was launched here. Anyway, they skipped the regular iPhone and jumped straight to the iPhone 3G, and I got one. From day one, I loved it!

From then on, I got my current iPhone which is the 3G S model and I love that even more. If that is possible. It is in fact, the best thing since sliced bread! Apparently my talking about the iPhone got my brother to ditch his Blackberry (which he hated with a passion by the way) and get an iPhone. The phone has made me a little more open to Apple products combined with the fact that you CAN actually get Windows OS so you aren't stuck with the Apple one. Whatever that's called.

Now every year around this time, the corporation I work for issue a selection of products and deals that are paid for by your salary before taxes. The Danish tax system allows this, and since I pay 40% tax of all my income it's quite lucrative. Every year I've chosen to buy shares in the company this way.

This year they've included computers in the selection and I have been looking through the list feel like it's time for something nice. A treat if you will. Unlike the deal with buying shares in the corporation, this computer deal is not a one year deal. The computers are paid for over two years, kind of like a leasing agreement where after the two years are up, you are asked if you want to buy it. The purchase price would be one or two installments at the end of the two years.

Anyway, I've looked at the selection and decided which stuff to get. Since I've practically become an Apple hoor thanks to Tim. Well at least he nudged me ever closer to the joys that are the pretty Apple products. I've come to the decision to get these things

1. Macbook Pro 15" i7 2.66 Ghz

2. Apple Time Capsule 1 Tb

3. Apple Cinema 27"

4. and because I'm not completely sold on Apple software, Windows 7 for Mac.

Oh, and possibly a mouse? I am not sure if I should get one for the MacBook Pro.

Anyway I won't be getting the goodies until next year though so I'll be acting like a 5 year old until then.

In slightly more anticlimactic news, I can show you the more precise location of THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS and their journey towards Mr. Donn.

September 28, 2010 10:35 PM Ready for transport to Canada
September 29, 2010 10:53 AM Sent to Canada
October 1, 2010 04:11 PM Arrived in Canada
October 7, 2010 05:31 AM Arrived at distributionscenter Canada
October 7, 2010 12:00 PM Addressee advised to pick up item
October 7, 2010 12:30 PM Addressee being notified

It's all very exciting stuff!

When in doubt, add more chocolate syrup

2010-10-03T19:53:00.002+02:00

The always wonderful Tara has published the schedule for October here and you should definately check it out. Check.It.Out.

Why? Because today is Janet Leigh day! If any of you start saying Janet Leigh who? Then I will just shake my head and go away to die. Possibly in the shower. I've only watched af few of the things she's done though

- Little Women - with Liz Taylor
- Psycho which I actually bought on special edition DVD
- Murder She Wrote - yes she was in one episode with Dame Aggie.
- Family Law - she was in one episode of this as well. Liked that show.

On top of that, I can mention that she was in: The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Bye Bye Birdie and more recently Halloween H20: 20 years later.
She also guested these TV shows: Love Story, Columbo, Fantasy Island, two episodes of The Love Boat playing two different characters, The Twilight Zone and Touched By An Angel

All just to name a few of her 85 appearances.

She passed away this very day 6 years ago in Beverly Hills at the age of 77.

This very day many moons ago, was also the day my parents got married. Strangely enough only a couple of days before my grandfathers death. Shotgun wedding or..

The sounds get to me every time. Miss Leigh, you are greatly missed!

EDIT: I've also learned today that Piggy of Piggy and Tazzy has passed away. He too will be greatly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with Tazzy and all their loved ones.

Bittersweet goodbye

2010-09-30T18:11:00.001+02:00

It's been a good few years we've had, but it was time for me to say my final goodbyes.

We said hello

We cooked

We had drinks

We cleaned

We washed

We violated religious art

We clashed with our surroundings

We stepped back in time

Then after living together for years it was time to let you go.

Stains, mysterious smells and odd sounds aside, I've had a blast with you. Which is why, it's taken me this long to ship THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS off to their new wearer and competition winner Donn.

In case the memory escapes you, it's possible to relive most of the adventures I've had with THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS here.

The shorts are now safely (hopefully, as they aren't insured) on their way to Donn as seen below.

September 28, 2010 10:35 PM Ready for transport to Canada
September 29, 2010 10:53 AM Sent to Canada

In the meantime we can all enjoy a few deleted scenes from THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS stay with me.

I believe in you

2010-09-28T00:27:00.001+02:00

I'm becoming a year older on the 29th. That'll be tomorrow, and I know it doesn't give you much time to get me a present or two (how about 5?). However that shouldn't hold you back from getting me something. It's always nice to look forward to something, as long as it's not a beating.

However, I just want to let you know, that the delighfully colourful Tim got me a little pre birthday gift which I'm LOVING.

Notice the beautiful handwriting! I wish my handwriting was this pretty. I thank him dearly for this fabulous gem!

Anyway, for the proper birthday present I have these wishes

1. The Official Kylie Minogue 2011 calendar

2. The Sims 3: Late Night EP (PC DVD)

3. The Sims 3 Late Night Prima Guide

4. When You Don't See Me by Timothy James Beck

5. The God Box by Alex Sanchez

6. Red Dolce & Gabbana shoes in a size 9-10

7. Black Dolce & Gabbana shoes in a size 9-10

8. Tom Ford glasses

9. Night Work by Scissor Sisters on Vinyl

10. Boston Legal on DVD - The Complete Box Season 1 - 5 (or separate)

11. Pink Sparkle perfume by Kylie Minogue

12. Emporio Armani Diamonds Eau de Toilette for me

13. Ole Henriksen African Red Tea Exfoliating Lip Salvation

14. Ole Henriksen Loofah Body Scrub

15. Sonic Screwdriver as seen on the 10th Doctor Who

Any and everything on the list is greatly appreciated (so are cards and greetings etc.) so get shopping everyone.

What I mostly want though, is a spot in the fabulous Coven.

Is it in yet?*

2010-09-22T00:34:00.000+02:00

I hate it when the houseboys don't bring me what I ask for.

Then again, now it doesn't matter much, I just imagine what it's going to be like catching up with the other (I'm in right? I must be, mustn't I? Please?) Coven members for a cup of tea.

and getting advice from the handyman

And of course, sticking up for your Coven friends to backstabbing bitches

All in a days work for a desperate Coven pledge.

*The decisions of the remaining Coven memebers, of course. You filthy lot!

La diva danese

2010-09-18T14:24:00.000+02:00

I'm a diva. I have strops. That's what IDV says, and while I'd love to say that I'm all peaches and cream, I'm really not. Just yesterday I had one of my strops at work.

Actually, I'm usually nice to my colleagues, but she is quite new at our team, and she keeps asking just me. I wasn't exclusively assigned to train her and I am fairly behind in my own work. She asks the same questions over and over like she isn't getting what we teach her. So, yesterday it became too much.

Miss Joanie would be proud. Actually, I wasn't mad at her, I just got frustrated both because she'd been asking the same question so much that I started doubting my answer and because I was stressed of having to take over someone elses work while she is on holiday (in California, just to rub it in I suppose). She first got a bit red in the cheeks, then she got a little bit tense before going to the loo. When she came back her mascara was a bit smudged (that's what you get for not using waterproofed I suppose). Of course I ended up emailing her (she's two desks over, and I wasn't going to walk all the way over there in my Choos) saying I was sorry. I'm such a softie.

I'm not alone in my diva incarnation though

We all have our good qualities. We appreciate good quality products, designer labels and expect to be treated like the glamorous stars we are. Living in our own world of

and who doesn't love a good catfight to work off that Beluga caviar and those sufflés

or throwing people out of hotel rooms.

To be honest though, it's a lot of work being a diva, and I've had a lot of thoughts about my blog and it's future. Should I just let it die? Or should I try to bring it back to life. As a diva, I'm allowed to change my mind, but for now bitches...

Intermission

2010-08-11T00:06:00.000+02:00

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I don't need anyone?

2010-08-08T22:48:00.001+02:00

I was lying, naked, on my back on my dirty kitchen floor last Monday. I just couldn't stand up. It turns out, it was a lot more traumatizing than first expected. In the moment I was sort of laughing in that maniacal way that one does when you are doing it to sort of cover up the trauma of it all. However it covered up something else that keeps haunting me now.

I've survived the flu many times on my own. Walked to the supermarket with a high fever and such, holding on to buildings so as not to faint or fall over. Flu I can handle, but this back issue is a whole other issue. Now I, like Samantha am turning into Charlotte.

I need a man. Someone that I can love and support, and who will do the same for me. Do you know anyone?

They don't *have* to look like this, but it certainly wouldn't hurt.

The thing is, I'm really tired of my parents, especially my mother. You see, I told them of my issue and they came running. My mother, not being satisfied with the standard of cleaning, then started to vacuum around me, still on the floor HELLO!?! and then once my doctor had been to my flat, and I was up off the floor, washed the floor. Then cleaned the kitchen and basically hasn't stopped. They come running ALL the time and it's very stressful. I told them to stay away, and give me space but it's not working and I can't keep them out.

It would all be very easy if I had a boyfriend, who could help me out a bit. However I'm all alone here.

In other news, I am scheduled for an xray of my back on Wednesday and then we'll see what happens then. The situation has improved though and the lovely pills are working their magic. I just wish I could go to the ice cream truck

Bend over and pick up the soap

2010-08-04T22:33:00.000+02:00

Something happened to me on Sunday night.

It didn't happen that though. I was picking up something from the backseat of a car, bending over just a tiny bit. That's when it happened. A shooting pain in the small of my back and I could hardly walk. It took me 20 minutes to walk across the parking lot and up to my appartment on the second floor. So all I did was take a few aspirin and then I went to bed thinking it would be better in the morning.

At 4am I woke up needing to pee. So I tried getting out of bed. That proved to be quite difficult and very painful. I ended up on the floor crying from the pain and for not bringing my trusty iPhone with me. It was still by the headboard.

Anyway, I decided trying to stand up and stagger to the loo. It proved impossible. I got shooting pains and back spasms when I lifted my body off the floor. So I spent the next 2 hours crawling from my bedroom (over the doorsteps - ouch) and into the bathroom again attempting to get up. It just wouldn't happen. So, I slid on my back to the kitchen and spent a good 30 minutes getting the aspirins off the kitchen counter and a glass of water by raising just enough off the floor to get it one step at a time. Work through the pain, I told myself.

It was tragic comic of sorts because by 7 I still hadn't gotten up. So I slid back into my bedroom and spent 30 minutes getting my iPhone from my bed by using hangers and other items I had convieniently left on the floor. Then I called my boss and told him the situation and sent a text to a colleague of mine.

At 8am I called the doctor

and he didn't know quite what to do with me. I pleaded and he made some suggestions, and told me to call back later if it didn't work. It didn't. So he decided to make a house call. Let me just say, I have a pretty hot doctor man! Wow! Not bad, at all. So he was going to perscribe something for me

I got the good drugs! He gave me 4 morphine tablets and perscribed some other pills for me. He also helped me get up, and I could then go to the loo. Which was lovely, because it was noon. He was lovely and told me to stay home from work and come into his office on Thursday (tomorrow) to hear what's going to happen. He thinks it's a cracked disc in my back. However it could be a slipped disc. That would be a nightmare though. I'm not sure how I could deal with that.

Anyway I've spent the past few days on my back, with the TV on and playing with my iPhone. Especially bejeweled Blitz for iPhone and of course the new discovery from yesterday Angry Birds

Right now, I'm on my side typing on my laptop which is not very comfortable. I need my pill, and then I'm off to bed haunted by this

Sibling rivalry*

2010-08-01T15:08:00.000+02:00

I was looking for a photo earlier on my old blog and now feel like I've become really boring. That was never my intention.

Or for that matter to be posting so rarely. I guess I just lost my blogging mojo.

Anyway, I went to my fathers birthday party the other day. He turned 66 or 67 or something like that. The actual number never came up, so I guess I have something in common with my father afterall.

My evil bro was also at the party. It was actually more of a dinner for a very select group of people, rather than a party because my father doesn't like being the center of attention. Well, my parents were not only taking care of their own dog

but also my cousins dog Gizmo

This became quite the discussion of the night because from the moment I entered the front door to the moment I left, both dogs were competing for my affection. Since my parents were playing favorites to their own, I of course decided to spend time with Gizmo. Out of defiance mostly, but also because Gizmo reminds me of a stuffed animal I had as a boy.

As I tried to divide my attention to both dogs equally I noticed the surly expressions on my parents dog and it wasn't pretty. Not long after they were taking turns trying to mount each other as dogs do. I'm told. Showing who has the power to dominate. It wasn't pretty.

After my evil bro came, the trash talking of Gizmo got worse, because evil bro hates that dog. Not because it's evil, or bites or anything like that. While my parents called Gizmo chunky and such, evil bro called him ugly, smelly and stupid. Granted, Gizmo doesn't know how to play. He just looked at you with a puzzled half bored expression on his face, and he doesn't look attentive if you mention his name. He just has the look of sheer boredom on his face, like he is beyond it all. I liked that.

Gizmo was certainly beyond all of them.

Of course this led to a long discussion in which evil bro and I expressed things we weren't agreeing on. There were many. To my surprise, we ended up having more in common than I thought

1. We both have, and LOVE our iPhones
2. None of us like relish
3. We both watch Sex & the City
4. We both watch Desperate Housewives
5. We both cast our votes at the same political party
6. None of us like Dullface
7. We both like The Pet Shop Boys
8. we both find Sarah Jessica Parker to be one of the ugliest, overrated actors out there and if she were our horse, we'd have sent her to the glue factory YEARS ago

It was fairly shocking. For a moment there, I started having inner struggles

Then he started praising the movie Failure To Launch and all was right with the world again.

What a shit movie! Matthew McHotnessConaghey and Sarah Jessica Parker has worse on screen chemistry than Hitler and Ghandi would have had, if they were to have a torrid on screen love affair. The movie was just trash. Some movies are so bad, that they are good. This was so bad, that it was unredeemably bad.

Also, is it all straight men, that only talk about girls and how little they wear in certain movies or is it just my evil bro? I find it quite nasty and tiresome to listen to.

*(yes I'm stealing IDVs thing here, I'm running out of ideas people! HELP!!!) The movie Sibling Rivalry from 1990 starring Scott Bakula, Kirstie Alley and Carrie Fisher in which Kirstie Alley accidently has a one night stand with her brother in law. Very amusing.

Food for the gods

2010-07-18T19:33:00.000+02:00

This week I had invited my parents over for dinner, because they always complain that they never get to visit me after I left Copenhagen. So there I was, with the dilemma of what to cook for them. I ended up serving them salmon with water cress and avocado, boef stroganoff and the most divine dessert ever.

Seriously, I've never made anything that tasted this good. It was divine (and I can thank food goddess, minx and ruler of food porn miss Nigella Lawson for the recipe). Oh, and braving a copyright infringement lawsuit, you can cook it too.

125 gram soft unsalted butter
300 gram dark chocolate (at least 70%) broken up into smallish pieces
3 tablespoons of the light coloured syrup
200 gram Digestive biscuits
100 gram mini marshmellows (I could only find large ones, so I cut mine into smaller pieces
2 tablespoons of icing sugar
1 fan to keep cool during the ordeal

1. melt butter, chocolate and syrup in a pot

2. save 1 1/4 deciliter of the mixture for later

3. put biscuits in a bag and bash them with a rolling pin - leave some small and other larger chunks of biscuit

4. mix biscuits and marshmellows into the chocolate mixture

5. pour the mixture into an appropriate container and smooth it with a hot knife or other cooking tool.

6. cool it for at least 2 hours, or preferably over night in the fridge

7. cut the "cake" into small pieces - the recipe says 24 but I doubt I got that many out of it.

8. dust cake with icing sugar. (I forgot that)

Even my mother who is *so* not a marshmellow person loved them.

That said, I had pasta tonight, and the only novelty pasta I've seen has been penis shaped ones. Never bought that, but I found this the other day

Looney Toons pasta! YAY!

It was actually not bad. I never really liked Bugs Bunny, so I took great pleasure in biting off his head.

Special price for you my friend

2010-07-11T19:17:00.002+02:00

This is a two for the price of one, just for you my pretties. As I sit here in this awful heat with my lemon drop feeling very Socks in the City with my laptop. It would have been much more authentic had it not been for one of those retarded American Pie movies (I think this is number 5) on TV. I think I'll put on some Sex & the City. That will take this from crass to class.

Right where were we, and where did my lemon drop go?

This is one of those dreadful meme posts. First one comes from facebook where a certain Mr. Tim tagged me. So without further ado, I give you

A-Z of me
You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the ABC's of YOU.

A - Age: 29 give or take a couple of years (more give than take though, I'm afraid)

B - Bed size: A double.

C - Chore you hate: Cleaning and tidying up. You see, I am missing that gene. It skipped a generation, as my mother is a complete neat freak.

D - Dog's name: I don't have a dog. Growing up my evil bro had a dachshund called Pjevs. He hated me. The dog, although I'm thinking the same went for my evil bro.

E - Essential start your day item: Water, water, water. That and a dab or two of Inverse by Kylie Minogue

F - Favorite color(s): I love red. Red, black and silver. But I really like most happy bright colours except for yellow and orange.

G - Gold or Silver: Silver.

H - Height: Pretty average (I hate that word) really.

I - Instruments you play: I don't play any instruments. I hated everyone at school, but I did sign up for guitar lessons however too few people signed up for it and nothing came of it. Would like to be able to play the piano though.

J - Job title: According to the online dictionary, I'm a trained Office Clerk. What I do now, is make sure people keep up their car payments and if they don't, I take their cars. I love my job!

K - Kid(s): Ewww. Never!

L - Living arrangements: A rented top floor 74 sq meter flat.

M - Mom's name: Ida

N - Nicknames: A colleague of mine called me Pistol Pete in an email last week, and on here people call me 'Petra and CyberPoof. Personally I prefer Pete.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I've never (knock wood) spent the night in the hospital. Well except for when I was delivered (by a storck obviously)

P - Pet Peeve: Knuckle cracking, people who wear their trousers down their ankles, socks in sandals, Crocs, Uggs, ankle socks in stilettos, ballerina slippers

Q - Quote from a movie: "No wire hangers, ever!" Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest (1981)

R - Right or left handed: Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosy (I learned that from Luke on Gilmore Girls)

S - Siblings: Jens

T - Time you wake up: Ideally around 7am but I go in early these days, so it's more like 6.

U - Underwear: Preferably Dolce & Gabbana (of late I do appreciate Ralph Lauren and I'm quite ashamed about that as I don't trust American designers) but as my pocketbook is a little slim these days Sloggi will have to do.

V - Vegetable you dislike: Is a salad a vegetable? Because I truely HATE Ruccola with a passion. Whoever made that must be in liege with the devil. I also dislike broccoli and brussle sprouts.

W - Workout style: As little and for as short a time as possible.

X - X-rays you've had: I've had a few of my teeth, and my ankles (sprained them a lot when I was a kid - clutz that's me hi!) and when I broke my arm when I was 4. I don't remember breaking my arm, but I've seen the photos.

Y - Yesterday's best moment: Watching Glee or making and eating a wonderful chocolate cake without flour. The chocolate cake won out.

Z - Zoo favorite: I've been to quite a few of those. When I was in San Diego Zoo last year I thought I'd be going gaga for the Panda Bears but they were quite snooty and off putting. My favorite was the Polar Bear. I tell you, one look at one of those and all the energy I was lacking was restored. Loved it! The lion at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas was pretty cute too.

Now, for the bonus feature. The meme from IDV who wants to know these 10 things about me.

1. What's your earliest memory?

The other day I had a flash memory of my father reading to me. I don't know how old I was at the moment, but I must have been younger than 5.

2. What was the last thing you ate?

San Mazano tomatos

3. Would you support a comeback by Steps?

Yes, probably. I did welcome the comeback of Bananarama

Up until I heard their stuff, that is.

4. What is your dream car?

5. How tall are you?

See my answer in the ABC above.

6. Margaret Thatcher vs Queen Elizabeth II: Who would win and why/how?

That's difficult isn't it. They are both iron lizzers uh, I mean ladies. Obviously. Probably Liz though, because she's got the scepter to hit people with and if they are too far away she'll just throw the orb. Plus, she met Gaga.

7. Mama Cass died choking on a sandwich. What sandwich filling would you happily choke on?

Roastbeef

8. Has a pick-up line ever worked for you? If so, what was it? If not, what was the worst reaction?

Not unless "hi" etc. are pick-up lines. I did come up with some funny pun once, and the guy just turned around and walked away. I was relieved.

9. You find yourself inexplicably cloned, barely wearing something sexy, and gagging for it. You would, wouldn't you?! Just out of curiosity, or maybe for some other reason?

What kind of question is that!?! Oh, my god! I wouldn't no. We wouldn't be compatible.

10. How did you find this [IDVs] blog? Go on, indulge me!

It's been soooo many years since, but probably through Glitter For Brains? Then it was either IDV or Lee who introduced me to Tims blog.

Call Me

2010-07-06T00:07:00.002+02:00

Well, ok maybe not. Or, yes you can call me. Although I won't guarantee that I'll pick up.

Do you remember this gem from Blondie?

Now brace yourself, as I'm about to shock you. I never really cared for Blondie or the song for that matter. Then of course, I got an alert that a certain Miss Sabrina Salerno had teamed up with a certain Miss Samantha Fox for a cover version.

Maybe you remember back in the 80s and early 90s there was a page 6 girl catfight? This was the battle of the boobs. Samantha vs. Sabrina. Britain vs. Italy. The media catfight in which the two girls were battling it out on whose boobs were real, who could get to the no. 1 spot and wore least clothes in their videos and photoshoots.

They both fizzled out like punctured breast implants by the early 90s though. Sabrina tried a couple of times to get back her fame in Europe but maintained her star status in Italy. Where Samantha Fox went, I have no clue. Are the rumours true that she's a lesbian?

Anýway, what happens when two 80s has beens come together in appreciation of Blondie?

Yes that. What do you think?

Very fruity

2010-07-03T23:48:00.000+02:00

I grew up in a house with a nice garden by a lake. When I say by a lake, it's mean in that real estate agent kind of way. Because the lake was 3 rows of houses down, and past a fairly busy road. Yet we had a nice view of the lake as the house was on a (very) small hill. I didn't really appreciate the view back then, as I was either in my room colouring, playing Civilization (or Giana Sisters or Oil Imperium) or perhaps sitting outside on the balcony steps playing with our dog.

My parents did all they could, but I did find the entire collection of Abba on vinyl that they had hidden away along with Cliff Richard. Cliff wasn't really my thing though (except for that one Christmas song..)

We didn't just have fruity things in the house. Our garden was filled with black currant, redcurrant, strawberries, raspberries, apples, pears and gooseberries.

There were also melons, although they weren't for eating.

We haven't scaled down on the fruit since, as you can well imagine. I like fruit, I eat way too little of it, and I believe it's way too expensive. That is, if you want fresh fruit. You know, proper fresh fruit. The kind that looks great and doesn't taste waxy and artificial.

So today, as I was all out of ice cream and it was too hot to go anywhere or do anything, I pondered if I should go for ice cream. It was quite the debate in my head really. Yet, I ended up getting dressed properly, and ventured out into the sweltering heat. Sun baking us all, and it was quite a journey. The shop was nice and cool, and of course they'd been practically sold out on ice cream. I also managed to look in the fruit section if they had anything worth buying.

The raspberries looked great, so I stood there inspecting every pack of them. Obviously. As I did so, a woman and her daughter (I can only assume (I know, some stupid American phrase, something about a donkey)) came up to me looking at mangos. The daughter stood there staring, rather rudely I daresay, at me and then turns to her mother asking why I was inspecting the raspberries. Of course, I could have just answered myself, but the mother told her rather flat out "so the gentleman can get the packet with the least worms and rotting berries". Right. She was correct of course, but it almost put me off buying them if it wasn't because the packet I was holding hadn't looked so perfect.

When I got home I checked the packet again and the raspberries were perfect. They also tasted like every bit of summery goodness that I remember. Still, you don't get much eh? Why must the good fruits and berries cost so much?

Now, how about a raspberry margarita?

Not another World Cup post

2010-06-10T22:59:00.000+02:00

I know what you are thinking. Why should I read my way through yet another dreadful something on the World Cup in South Africa? You are right, I absolutely hate football, and I couldn't care less about the whole thing. At work my colleagues (even the girls who should be talking about spray-on panty hose, Yves Saint Laurent shoes and Sex & the City 2). It's most disturbing. Frankly watching a number of men run from one side of a field to the other chasing each other and a tiny white ball - not my idea of a good time.

If I wanted to watch totty running around I'd subscribe to Ruggerbugger.com (NSFW). That said, I do have an opinion. I've got an opinion on most things, even if I know nothing about it.

That said, it's here, it's slightly queer and just to make it more queer I'm giving you my take on this abomination. First up, I've got to present you to our Danish team.

I know, they aren't exactly cute.

Our World Cup song, The Danish Way to Rock by Nephew. Not the worst song.

That said, I favour another nation. The Italian, whose song is dreadful.

The Italian squad. Yum, Yum!

That said, they look better if you peel off their little outfits and put them in Dolce & Gabbana.

Let's go a little behind the scenes..

Yes, we know who we are supporting!

Just for a laugh though, let's take a final look back to a time where everything was a bit unfortunate when it came to... everything. The singing too. A Danish World Cup song called Re-Sepp-ten (an amusing take on spelling the recipe (Sepp being the trainer at the time)) or something like that.

Oh yes, the stuff of legends.

New and exciting

2010-06-03T22:18:00.001+02:00

You are probably sitting there, just waiting for me to tell you all the exciting things that's happened over the past almost (oh gosh!) month. Time flies when you are having fun. Or at the very least when you are busy working.

Constantly running around, with the paps and adoring fans at your heels. Still, I managed to slip away on a boat on May 28.

No, we didn't rent out the worlds oldest working steam engine boat, but rather a newer model that ran on petrol. It made sure we got home alright too. Well at least safely to shore.

It was a lovely birthday party. Once off the boat, we went to a hotelroom and partied some more. There was cake, and wine and a fabulous atmosphere.

One could say it was a magical night.

Now one sits here, glass of Moët in hand thinking about all the lovers

You know, if love is really good you just want more - and I'm getting it!

The Adventures of Tim: Too big to fit in here

2010-05-09T12:17:00.000+02:00

Tim of Sparky Malarkey asked us to give him a little action. So naturally I went to work on him. Taking my time, working my way up his sides, taking my time going on the pecks and then finally making my way slowly up his inner thighs.

Of his cut out Actionless paper doll of course.

Just to clarify, I love the song, not Tim, and now I'm digging a big hole and I should just delete the youtube song but it's too good for that. So deal with it.

Naturally I upgraded ~~Tiny~~ Actionless Tim and now he was ready for all sorts of action. So, naturally I took ~~Tiny~~ Tim along when I went out to find and buy my new TV. I'd already gone to two shops after work on my own because Tim was home tidying up his own mess, but on Friday I took him along to The Sony Center for a final glance. The salesman, a man in his late fourties who first showed us a 50 inch TV which was too big. It made me think of this

and couldn't concentrate on whatever the man was saying until the song had played out in full. Then he went on to talk about other TVs until he finally made it to my future TV. It was just there, black, sleek and fabulous. I actually had to stop myself from doing the Auto- and Boatshow glamourwhore demonstrations of sort of leaning on it and stroking it gently for no one in particular. It's just that pretty!

Yesterday I went there with more reinforcements to collect the TV and transport it back to my flat. This is when I really needed Tims help. Let me just say, once he'd finished fooling around with my DVDs

and that took some time indeed

I set him to work on the TV table I bought last weekend. Because really, Tim wanted action so action was what he was getting.

Tim seemed a little outraged at the large package, but I thought he might as well get used to that sort of thing - living with me and all.

It didn't look like Tim seemed confident with the manual but I told him to get to it.

I helped Tim with some of the hard work but this was his project.

Tim was very surprised to be almost done with now. All it needed was metal things it was supposed to stand on - and fitting the glass plate on top.

With the metal things securely fastened, I helped turning it around and tried to fit on the glass plate. It didn't fit of course, so we had to take the thing apart again and unscrewing bits to loosen one of the side blocks. With the glass plate fitting, again we put the DVD player etc. on it.

It was hard work, but someone had to do it, and so I was thrilled to give Tim a bit of action. Finally it was time to unpack the TV and set it up. This bit was a little less work for Tim, and more for me.

Quite frankly I could have used a little more help doing the last bits but Tim was satisfied being the TV show whore and posing for you all. Bless him!

Thank you Tim, and I'm sure we'll have more fun in the future.

For all those of you, interested in what TV I actually got: Sony KDL40HX700AEP and I'm loving it.

Ka-ching!

2010-05-06T22:57:00.000+02:00

Last weekend I went on a fairly intense shopping spree. I got up at 7am to as I couldn't possibly do any clothes shopping where I live. Which subsequently meant that I was yawning all day long. First off I went shopping for clothes as I needed new trousers, shirts and T's.

I went into the shop, headed for the racks of trousers and started pulling down stuff in my size, and then moved onto the T's and shirts. Then I headed for the changing room where I managed to go from 8 pairs of trousers to 3 and eliminated 3 shirts and 2 T's. It was a shopping frenzy and people were *THIS* close to getting hurt. At one point an assistant tried to reach in and hand me a shirt a size smaller (not a bad thing) and he nearly lost his arm. Although I always identify more with Tweety Bird, I may have acted more like Taz the Tazmanian Devil.

When I was done I lugged all my stuff up to the counter and awaited them to ring it up. Although I had expected it to be fairly pricey I was a little surprised (mortified) when they said it would be £350 and he actually had to rip my VISA from my ever whitening fingers. I must have blacked out a bit because when I came back to reality he was spelling it out S-I-R Y-O-U R-E-A-L-L-Y M-U-S-T S-I-G-N H-E-R-E as he pointed to the slip of paper on the counter. I shook my head and managed an of course nod and signed. Then I proceeded to stagger out to the car.

Later that day I bought a new black high gloss TV table which was on sale, and once I got home I ordered a limited edition bottle of Moët with Swarovsky Crystals and a gorgeous silk label. Why? Because I just HAD to.

Then, I managed to not shop much this week, except for my trip to Copenhagen yesterday which I will revisit at a later date, of course. So today I couldn't wait any longer. It was time to start looking at TVs.

I don't ask for much. All that is needed is at least a 40", full HD TV with DVB T and C, mpeg 4 and 200 hz.

You know, I'm really just listing things I've been told right? Nah, I have actually done a bit of research although of course I'm not exactly a techie gay. I don't even know how to type crossed out text here on Blogger (how do you do that Tim?).

Anyway, today I decided to go have an actual look at TVs. In the first shop I was met by a lovely man who was very pleasant to talk to. He seemed like he knew what he talked about but was able to use layman's terms that even I understood. Which was a huge plus. I was pleasantly surprised that he went straight for the Samsung TVs which I kind of favour, half because I have very positive experiences with Samsung products and half because they are very pretty. He steered me to a 46 incher which had what I required and it looked great. It was £800 which was a steal, but as I know that you don't buy the first thing you see, I had him reserve it for tomorrow afternoon where I have to decide if I want it or not. At the time I saw it, I was ready to buy it though. I could feel my credit card become red hot in my wallet.

Then I went to another shop. When I got into the shop I started looking around. It looked positively deserted. Then a voice bellowed from a distant corner "can I help you?". Maybe, I yelled back. The voice came closer and then a slightly chubby, tall, pale man with a pair of slightly greasy glasses stood before me. He was maybe in his late thirties. That instant, I had labeled him as a geek.

The slighly rude and confrontational tone in his voice was a bit off putting.

Geek: What are you looking for?
Pete: A TV
Geek: What kind?
Pete: 40" TV..
Geek: Brand?
Pete: Um, maybe Samsung..?
Geek: Why?
Pete: Um. I've been very happy with Samsung products in the past..
Geek: What else?
Pete: Excuse me?
Geek: Specifications?
Pete: At least 200 hz
Geek: Why?
Pete: Um, because it's better than 100 hz and because sometimes you get ghostly shadows and almost stop motion if you get too few hz.
Geek: It's not all about the hz though, you have to see the TVs in action, you know.
Pete: I do know, that's why I'm here
Geek: I have a really good 42" Panasonic over here..

..and that's when he started showing me a brand new Panasonic TV that he started raving on about like a mental person. He did say himself during his 15 minute monologue that he was geek, and continued raving on, showing me what it could do and how perfect it was.

When I asked him about other TVs, he got a bit huffy and started talking about Samsung TVs and showed a few of them. He made a point out of comparing them to the Panasonic TV he'd already showed. To be honest I don't know what to think of it all. The geek and I got off on the wrong foot and I must admit that I still don't like him, however there is something trustworthy about buying something from someone geeky who seems to know everything about TVs.

I'm no closer to deciding so tomorrow I'm off to the Sony Center to see what they have to offer, and then I might make up my decision. However, for someone who can't even decide what to have for dinner. I do hope I'll get something of a better quality than this though

Book Update 4: Ma'am that's the dust cover

2010-04-26T22:04:00.000+02:00

So, I'm here playing Carrie Bradshaw on my chaise again. Not as glamorous as one would expect but I've got my glass of water on standby and Austrailas Master Chef on TV. Got to love those accents! Right, so the reason we are here, is that I've finished another 3 books.

The first book is Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire. It's the first Oprah Book Club book I've ever read. Well, I mean I've never read a book (that I'm aware of anyway) that was part of Oprahs Book Club. This one was though.

Initially I had massive aversions towards it for multiple reasons.

It is based on a true story - I don't like those
Being very interested in movies, I was bombarded with images and information about the movie version
It would be depressing
The very long title
Mariah Carey was in the movie

All those things were holding me from reading it, until someone gave it to me. It had been on sale and bla bla bla you should read it bla bla bla. At least it wouldn't be a ho-mance. I still can't get over the fact that Mariah Carey was in the movie version. She was the reason why Glitter was made gods sake! That should never be forgotten.

That said, if you are into the sort of semi (c)rude graphic language, tragic story and a mix of story and poetry you might like it. For me, it was maybe too 'real' or I'm just not really into reading in graphic detail about how a 12 year old girl was raped by her father and then later gave birth to their retarded child. Or how her mothers nether region smelled. Quite frankly, I can live without that. The grammar and spelling mistakes etc. were genious though, just like in Forest Gump - if you've read that. It works. I didn't really like Forest Gump either, but the way it was written was great.

Again. Glitter! Mariah, I shall never forgive you

The next book is the first book of the Being Human series called The Road by Simon Guerrier. Before I start writing about the book, I have to mention that the cover design is by the graphic design master Glittering Lee. We here at Sayhey ADORE Lee, and quite frankly we'd have his children if it were physically possible or if he asked. Of course Lee is, like most of the good gays, taken.

Well, enough about that. We are here to talk about the book, which is quite entertaining. What do you get if you take a werewolf, vampire and a ghost and put them in a house together? You get a tightly knit group of friends who look out for each other, and whatnot.

Then, what do you get if you add a middle aged black woman ghost who smells something like brimstone. Wearing a purple hat, lacquered hair and a floral dress under a purple coat? Well you should buy the book and find out. It's quite entertaining despite the story unfolding in Bristol of all places. Ch-che-check it out!

Last and certainly not least, I've finished Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomanical, Self-Centered Smart Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster. As my regular readers may have notices, I have a thing for Miss Jen Lancaster. I've read all four of her books - and just when you thought you might be safe, another one is released this May.

I saw the title of her first book Bitter is the New Black over on Dinahs blog, and just *had* to read it. From there it just escalated and I'm still quite smitten with Jen Lancasters style of writing. It's fun, honest and I imagine my life story being written like that when I retire to my chaise, a glass of Champagne in hand, and live of Godiva chocolates and Beluga caviar. It's not Jen Lancasters fault that she lives in Chicago of all places. That said, Jen loves Chicago apparently, and I suppose my few days in her fair city wasn't enough to hook me. Truth be told, I was tired, cold, starving and ended up walking past the Crocs Beach Volley tournament by Lake Michigan. No, honey. No.

Pretty in Plaid, is like her autobiography in which she writes about some of the turning points in her life. Some fun, and some a little less fun but always with a cheerful twist. Like the title suggests she uses outfits to recall the events in her life. From the seventies and up. Like she remembers wearing a too-tight pink parka from Lands' End that couldn't zip over her green wool crewneck sweater the day she learned that the Challenger exploded, a scratchy purple V-neck when Reagan was shot and a a red Ralph Lauren turtleneck, loose sand-coloured 501s and a red and blue grosgrain band around her watch when she first kissed her husband Fletch.

For someone like me, who loves clothes, witty comments and someone who can laugh at themselves this is a must read. Big, nay huge both thumbs up!

The case of the mysterious post-it - VAT what?

2010-04-24T18:05:00.000+02:00

I love Amazon a lot. That's where I do most of my shopping when it comes to books. I know I'm supposed to be supporting my local shops. However Amazon is just more convienient and cheaper.

In the shops I have maybe two shelves of English languaged books, and will need to bring titles and authors when I got. Plus the dreaded; Last time you bought ... so you might like this? It's a small town and people talk. So what if I bought A Passion for Stiletto? That's nobodys business but mine, and no I don't want the Stiletto Birthday Book, thank you very much.

On Amazon I can troll around and read about the books on my chaise with a glass of Champagne in hand, and ignore the rude suggestions that I might want to buy Twillight New Moon on DVD because I previously mentioned to the dastard thing, that I owned Practical Magic on DVD. Or that I should buy Lauren Conrads L.A. Candy... Wait, I might actually like that hmmmm. Anyway, the suggestions should be private and not something to be yelled out into the store and Amazon does that for me.

So, last week I logged onto Amazon for a quick trip though their shop. A hop to the DVD department with a little a skip through music and a brief stop looking at watches. It was lovely, and I hadn't even found something I wanted to buy. Perfect. So I finally stopped by the books. You see, although I am boycotting the evil witch that is IDV for slandering remarks etc. in his post about TFGES I did find a few books on his blog that I wanted to read.
I found them, added them and then I went on a little vampire crazed shopping spree. In the shopping basket it said how much they were, and I thought that was a bit much but oh well - besides it said something about qualifying for free supersave delivery or something. Lovely! Imagine my surprise that when I'd put in my credit card information and was ready to confirm the transaction. Not only had the prices changed, but they'd also been lovely enough to add shipping costs. Because apparently they changed their minds, Denmark is not included in their free shipping. The higher prices are due to the fact that Denmark has a 25% VAT added to all products sold in Denmark. If I'd bought something on Play.com or other Internet shops, they wouldn't add the extra VAT because they don't have to. They are not Danish companies, and neither is Amazon. Which is why I'm slightly peeved. I can forgive them for the added shipping because they aren't Danish, but the added VAT really puzzles me. If they were Danish, they would have to charge the 25% but then they should have a free shipping supersaver thing for us. But I digress.

Then yesterday the package arrived. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and I spotted this.

The strange Q34 post-it. I didn't put it there. So who did? Why? And is the book in fact used (although it shouldn't be)? There are no post-its on the other books, it's just that one.

Why? What? When? Where?

I'll end this with a little public service announcement

Naughty book meme

2010-04-17T16:58:00.001+02:00

My last post was a book meme and in the comments Mr. Bingowings insinuated that my Danish languaged book was a Ho-mance novel. It wasn't, but rather the book which the Oscar nominated movie Precious, something Push by Sapphire was based on. I have to say, the title makes me want to gag. Anything with a title that annoying gets on my 'I'm not doing that - ever!' list. The fact that the woman who gave us Glitter, Wisegirls and a whole bunch of albums which mostly are just vocal range exercises stars in the movie. Well, let's just say it isn't helping the matter. I'm about half way through it, so look out for it in an upcoming book update.

Well, I take what Mr. Bingowings said as a bit of a dare. So I found the two books with the juiciest page 123 and I thought I'd pick the dirtiest, so be warned, this is all male handyman sex.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)

Well, as mentioned I didn't pick the book nearest me, but rather the one with the raunchiest page 123.

There was a whole debate going on about the tie issue in the photo, started by our very own Tim who thought it was a bit unpractical. But I ask you this, Tim. If you saw a woman in just knickers and a tie. What would you say to that eh? Still unpractical, or just unbelievably hot?

2. Open the book to page 123

Will is trying to seduce his handyman Jack. He has gotten him to lie on his bed for a massage.

3. Find the fifth sentence

His eyes still locked on Will's face, he slid the denim down his things and calves.

4. Post the next three sentences

He was wearing dark blue cotton boxer shorts. Loose as they were, they couldn't quite hide the obvious erection poking against the fabric. Will's mouth actually watered and he had to swallow to keep from choking.

Ok. So it isn't really that naughty, but if you are feeling frustrated you could always buy the book on amazon.co.uk but if I were you I'd hold out for the Sci-Fi series - Hot sweaty manlove of the interplanetary kind - of My Fair Captain and the Englor Affair both by J. L. Langley.

Marilyn vs. Scarlett

2010-04-12T20:42:00.000+02:00

From one meme to another. This one is a book meme, and I may have done it before or at least thought about doing it. Let's get to it.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

I have two books fairly close to me while lounging on my chaise. One is in Danish so that won't do. The other is Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomanical, Self-Centered Smart Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster and I've actually finished that one. So look out for it in a book update sometime in the future.

2. Open the book to page 123

Ok, this is where Miss Jen faces the big conundrum. Scarlett or Marilyn. Hold on to your knickers everyone.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

And lower your voice, you sound kind of dumb.

4. Post the next three sentences

Also, blond hair and black eyebrows? Oh, honey, no. I'm still grumbling about the Marilyn/Scarlett conundrum when I arrive at my locker after seventh period.

Ruffle my feathers

2010-04-10T17:35:00.001+02:00

Here I am at my laptop, like another Carrie Bradshaw once more. Not the way I expected to spend my weekend. You see my dear reader, I have Monday off and in my head had planned a little weekend away by myself.

The idea came to me Friday at noon when I was talking to my colleague who sits opposite me. We don't talk much because we have very little in common. She's over 50 (I think, not entirely sure of her age) and otherwise a very lovely and stylish woman. Yet, the chemistry is on and off. I adore her though, but can't tell if she likes me or not which frustrates me a little. Anyway I suddenly got the idea to go to Copenhagen this weekend. I'd leave Saturday morning and come back Monday afternoon.

As the polite colleague I am, I asked her what her and her husband were doing this weekend, and they were going for a run Friday afternoon, having a dinner party on Saturday and brunching with friends Sunday. She in turn asked me what I was doing as I had Monday off. I told her about my idea to spend the weekend in Copenhagen and how I missed it there. She understood as she herself had lived there for many years, and one of her sons lives there. Then she almost beamed as she told me I should go to see our Crown prince Frederik and his wife Princess Mary's palais. Apparently the palais open to the public until they move in later this spring after a long renovation period. She had gone a few weeks ago and it was positively fabulous. Of course, she proclaimed being a royalist as am I. My mothers maiden name is Margrethe - like our Queen - so I feel a fair bit royal myself.

Anyway, my plan was to take the train - first class naturally - and then sign into either the fabulous old school hotel for the celebrities Hotel D'angleterre or the hip and kool Hotel Fox. Then spend my first hours in Copenhagen shopping, and then hook up with friends and going out. Then on Sunday I'd go to see the Royal Palais and walk around Copenhagen - including a visit at where the Little Mermaid used to be as it's been shipped off to Japan for a while. It would have been amazing to just walk around Copenhagen in the sun shine down by the water and take in the old parts of the city. Then I'd hook up with friends for dinner and Monday I'd go shopping again until I'd have to go home by train. First class again, naturally.

Of course all great plans meet their challenges and I was forced to cancel my plans. So here I am, typing away on my fabulous laptop with nothing to offer you except this humble meme that IDV tagged me for. So here we go

The failed weekend meme

Where is your cell/mobile phone?

My old iPhone is next to me on the sofa, and the new 3G S iPhone is on my dinner table.

Vehicle?

I don't even have a bus pass. I use 10 trip clip cards.

Hair?

I need a haircut. It's not curly or anything but it's way too long and unruly. I could have gotten a cut in Copenhagen *sigh!*

Father?

I'm not, but I do have a father. Also if someone could point me in the direction of a rich sugar daddy I'd be eternally grateful. Please?

Your favorite thing?

It's between the new iPhone 3G S, my laptop, the fourth season DVD of Dynasty and my LeKlint lamp (mine's in red, and you can change the inner bits so you can make yourself a completely new lamp by buying new inner covers). It's difficult to pick one.

Dream last night?

I couldn't possibly say, it's a little naughty. Let's just say it included Robbie Williams, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, David Beckham and Tom Ford (One of the best menswear designers out there. He gave me a great tux).

Favourite drink?

Firtinis. Vodka, pinapple juice and Champagne. Don't you just LOVE it!

Room you are in?

My living room. I wish I was in a swanky hotel room in Copenhagen though *sigh!*

Your ex?

Is in Copenhagen. I may or may not have had plans to hook up with him.

You are?

A little bummed out, that I didn't go to Copenhagen afterall. Maybe this summer or autumn though. Or I'd go to London. That would also be kool. Or maybe Paris?

What do you want to be in ten years?

Married, a millionaire and an acclaimed designer. No, seriously I don't know. Employed and in a relationship would be nice.

Who did you hang out with today?

Nobody. I kept a low profile and I expect I'll keep that up tonight. Watching a movie or two.

What you're not?

Married, a millionaire and acclaimed designer. I'm also not in Copenhagen. Ok. I'll stop whining.

Muffins?

Why not? A chocolate, chocolate chip muffin would be nice.

One of your wish list items?

A big flatscreen TV, a nice designer watch and designer shoes.

Where is the ____ ?

Ben & Jerry Baked Alaska and Half Baked ice cream

The last thing you did?

Trying to win a Facebook Scrabble game against Sparkly Tim

What are you wearing?

My glittering cowboy hat, black pin striped trousers, black top with vintage Pepsi logo and pink and purple stripey socks.

Your pet(s) ?

I don't have pets. I am following Stefano Gabbana (designer - Dolce & Gabbana ya know) on Twitter and he posted a photo of his cute black dog. At that moment I wanted a dog. Then I thought about it a little more. I'm not allowed to have pets in my appartment, and I'd have to walk it and feed it and love it. Oh. I'm so not a pet person.

Your computer?

I've got an HP Pavillion something, something and my IBM ThinkPad X60s Lenovo. I also have a Zepto Znote something laptop but I've packed it away because I have issues going online with it.

Your life?

I fairly good at the moment, but I am missing a boyfriend, could lose a fair amount of weight.

Your mood?

Less whiney than before, but still a bit bummed I didn't get to go to Copenhagen.

Missing?

A few pieces of the puzzle.

What are you thinking about right now?

Why there is so much sport on TV. Are people really that into handball, football and also why is Rihanna so popular? She's so shrill!

Your shoes?

Silver Hackenbusch casual shoes. A little worn but still presentable.

Your work?

Good. I love making people keep up their car payments. Forcing them to give it back if they don't, is only an extra bonus.

Your summer?

Nothing is planned. I wish I could go abroad but I doubt I'll be able to afford it. Especially if I buy that flatscreen TV.

Your favorite colour?

Pink, but I like black too.

So, those are my answers. Please do this meme if you like, and let me know in the comments section so I can swing by and read your answers.

Have a great weekend, dearies. Now, let's have a batch of flirtinis.

Carrie Bradshaw I'm not

2010-04-06T23:04:00.000+02:00

I have to be honest. I do feel a little bit like Carrie Bradshaw sitting here in my sofa with my new (to me at least) laptop typing away wearing my glittery cowboy hat. Shush, it's fabulous! But that's where all comparisons end.

My laptop comes from a very high profile bankruptcy here in Denmark. In fact it's the biggest financial fraud case in recent years, and although it's probably not, I could be sitting here with Stein Baggers computer this very moment. It's not a Mac but rather an IBM ThinkPad Lenovo X60s and I'm loving it. It's got a fingerprint security feature that I haven't quite worked out yet. I know how to swipe a fingerprint but storing it is another story. I don't fint it quite so guiding and forthcoming when it comes to setting it up, as I'd have thought. Oh well. Then again Carrie is really a technophobe, and at least I back up my system once in a while.

Another thing I've been wrestling with is my iPhone. Unlike Carrie, I know how to work an iPhone (did you not see the movie in which Carrie couldn't even dial a number? What a spazz) but I have been working on unlocking mine from my supplier. You see, my evil bro is giving his two spawn of satan each an iPhone. The spawn are now 10 and 12 years old, and many people would reason that it's way too early to just give them an iPhone. My evil bro thinks not. So he's gone and purchased a 16GB 3G S in piano black through his work and he's already got two. One 32GB 3G S and a 16 GB 3G regular. So in order to not give one of his spawn special treatment, he's going to swap my old 16 GB 3G regular for a brand spankin' new model S. I accepted, thanking him. Now my job is to get it unlocked by my carrier, which is Telia. One of the massive failures in telecommunications. After speakting to two customer service monkeys I finally got it done. It took them 20 minutes to figure it out, plus 10 minutes in queue waiting to get through. "your call is very important to us, there are many callers at this time, we apologise for the inconvienience" You know. When I got home I had to figure out how to get it unlocked but it kept telling me to enter a pin code when I inserted an old SIM card from another carrier. Later I found out, that's to do with the setup on the SIM card, rather than the iPhone. I also finally managed to figure out how to eliminate everything on my iPhone, and I wouldn't want my niece or nephew hooking up with the likes of MJ or Queerclick.com for instance. That would be awkward.

It turns out, I paid too many taxes last year, so they refunded me £360 which was quite nice. Of course I hadn't submitted my final tax return before they'd sent me the money, so I now owe the government £70. Luckiely the Danish tax system works so poorly that they are giving me interest free loan and divide the amount over 3 months starting September 20th and the following two months. Isn't that insane? I've decided to take them up on the offer rather than paying them now. This means that I can combine that with my vacation pay that comes next month and I may be able to buy a large item - or in the spirit of Carrie Bradshaw a few pairs of Manolo, Sergio Rossi or Choo. Or perhaps a lovely Prada bag? Or just maybe I could get myself a watch? I just couldn't decide if I want a leather or metal strap.

Funny story about watches. When I was in Vegas I tried on $20,000 watches and it was lovely! The woman behind the counter seemed to think I was a serious player, as did everyone. When I walked through Dior and Hugo Boss people took me very serious and showed me their wares. The only place they looked at me strangely was at La Perla, but then it could be because I was flushed walking in there and could hardly look up at their stuff. It was just one of those things I *had* to do.

Back to what to spend my tax money on, I could also go for a new TV. Hell, my 10 year old Samsung TV won't live forever so it's just a matter of figuring out what I can get within my price range. So *not* what Carrie Bradshaw would spend her money on.

Truth be told, I have been spending a bit of the money already. During the Easter break, I've had days where I all I had were two tubs of Ben & Jerry - Fairly Nuts. I know, but it seems fitting. I may have an eating disorder, or there are reasons why I'm not exactly a size 0. At least I've been helping those poor farmers and the climate as it's both Fair Trade and Climate Neutral.

Carrie always finished her episodes - that's what I call them - writing something about love or sex. Preferably using clever (or not really clever) stories about shoes or french fries - oh, oh or socks! Socks in the City! But I'm not going to do that. This sums up my lovelife at the moment.

Well, actually I don't even like Carrie. I like her shoes, but that's about it. I prefer Samantha, the fabulous one.

Fully sick

2010-03-28T14:17:00.001+02:00

Book Update 3: I don't wanna be alone

2010-03-11T20:56:00.000+01:00

When my girlfriends get a little lonely, they cuddle up alone in bed with a cup of tea and a Barbara Cartland/Danielle Steele or other book and once they've finished it, they are all better. No more lonely, they get back on track and all is well. Maybe they put something funny in their tea, because no matter what I'm still feeling alone.

Reading 4 erotic (alright, slightly if not fairly pornographic) books, didn't work on me. At least not in the way it should be. Still, I was entertained by lovely stories, fair writing and I quote

Hot sweaty manlove of the interplanetary kind

Oh yes, oh yes. It does say that. Ain't life grand?

Let's start with that one.

The Englor Affair by JL Langley

It's actually the sequel to My Fair Captain which I wrote about here

I couldn't remember much of it to be honest, so I might have to read the first book again, and then read The Englor Affair again afterwards. Some of the same characters and the same universe is used, and for an erotic book (I sound like such an afficionado don't I, for someone who's read 6 in all his life) that's a little unusual.

I'll spare you all the graphic details but just say that the book is set in another universe on the Planet Englor (and a little on the planet Regelence which was featured in My Fair Captain) where things are a mix of the old days of aristocracy and hi-tech stuff in the far, far future. There are kings, princes, lords and dames. It's actually quite entertaining - but you will be confronted with

Hot sweaty manlove of the interplanetary kind

and you'll love it!

It comes with a warning though, one of the guys is a ginger.

I can't wait to read book three as I'm fairly sure there will be a third because like in My Fair Captain, not everything was solved in this one either.

After having read three books by JL Langley (I had also previously read a book called The Tin Star with hot all male cowboy lovin - read about it here) that were pretty good, I thought I'd make it an even four.

The Broken H by JL Langley

This book was about hot cowboy lovin, and it actually mixed in with the storyline of The Tin Star

The book was good. I liked the story and the lovin but I wasn't so keen on one of the dudes having long hair, and the editing was fairly bad. Imagine the nonsense and mistakes I make and multiply it by 10. Still, the book had me.. let's just say it had me going through most of the colours of the rainbow. I even cried. That in itself isn't a big thing because I could cry watching a commercial afterall.

Handyman by Claire Thompson

I suspect doing the handyman is every girl and gays fantasy. At least if he's hot. Perseonally I haven't met one of those yet, but in this book a yuppy guy moves to the suburbs and hires a handyman to do his kitchen. Let's just say, he ends up doing more than his kitchen. Much happens, some things fairly funny, and others a little more serious. A lot of self doubt and such and of course lots of handyman lovin.

This book was pretty good, and refeshing from reading all those JL Langley books.

The Assignment by Evangeline Anderson

The Assignment was about two police officers who had to go undercover at a gay sex retreat in San Francisco and pretend to be gay in order to bust some druglord who distributed bad coke.

Needless to say there were lots of sexual frustrations, erotica and down and dirty sex involved. The story was far from weak considering the nature of the book (you can't expect to pick up something of the same level as Puskin, Hemingway or Tolstoy) and the writing fairly good.

Next time I'll order books, I think they'll have to be books on knitting and sewing.