I like beautiful things and it's not my fault that most of those are designer things. I've been told a million times, that I only love things because they were Dolce & Gabbana or Gucci or Armani. It's not my fault that they make such beautiful things though. It's also the easiest thing in the world to say, because you don't need to back that up. Then again, it's not like I owe anyone an explanation.
People who only wear certain designers and don't mix and match, are in my opinion fashion victims.
That said, I *do* like Dolce & Gabbana, Armani and Gucci. Unfortunately I just can't afford to buy a lot of it. Especially not now as I'm saving up for another trip to Las Vegas where I will most likely be buying way too many fabulous things and seeing Miss Minogue live. It's all very up in the air still as I've saved a total of £50 as of yet and it isn't looking good. It's not that I don't try, as I do play the Lotto most weeks, and I'm just about to win the £3 million prize. I just know it!
If I did, I'd most certainly be getting pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. One must have a pair of those, and I don't. Not yet anyway but these are most certainly on the shortlist.
Christian Louboutin: Bridget's Back!
These fabulous Christian Louboutin studded peep toe ankle booties come in 3 colours
Silver
Gold
and black
Now if I only had those £1,800 times three.. Be careful, the price tag is not the only thing dangerous about wearing fabulous designer heels..
Hello? No, this is her assistant. Miss 'Petra is not available at the moment. Oh.. very well, I'll get her.
Assistant: Miss 'Petra ? I'm terribly sorry to interrupt but you've got a phone cal.. Miss 'Petra: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SHOOTING MY NEW VIDEO? Assistant: But it's *THE* call
Oh just give me my iPhone Sarah, exclaimed Miss 'Petra.
Hello? 5 minutes? Doesn't give me much time to change Right, of course they weren't Thank you darling See you in 5
Who was that? asked Sarah who was Miss 'Petras assistant. Miss 'Petra smiled wickedly at Sarah and yelled "ENTOURAGE ASSEMBLE NOW!" Once the beauty team had assembled they were instructed, "I need to get out of the dress and these light gloves".
Everyone scrampered along and Miss 'Petra was finally freed from the wire prison before following her stylist into her dressing room.
We have two minutes to find something that goes with this hair, and these nails, Miss 'Petra said. Something glamorous, because this is a very special event.
I'm a diva. I have strops. That's what IDV says, and while I'd love to say that I'm all peaches and cream, I'm really not. Just yesterday I had one of my strops at work.
Actually, I'm usually nice to my colleagues, but she is quite new at our team, and she keeps asking just me. I wasn't exclusively assigned to train her and I am fairly behind in my own work. She asks the same questions over and over like she isn't getting what we teach her. So, yesterday it became too much.
Miss Joanie would be proud. Actually, I wasn't mad at her, I just got frustrated both because she'd been asking the same question so much that I started doubting my answer and because I was stressed of having to take over someone elses work while she is on holiday (in California, just to rub it in I suppose). She first got a bit red in the cheeks, then she got a little bit tense before going to the loo. When she came back her mascara was a bit smudged (that's what you get for not using waterproofed I suppose). Of course I ended up emailing her (she's two desks over, and I wasn't going to walk all the way over there in my Choos) saying I was sorry. I'm such a softie.
I'm not alone in my diva incarnation though
We all have our good qualities. We appreciate good quality products, designer labels and expect to be treated like the glamorous stars we are. Living in our own world of
and who doesn't love a good catfight to work off that Beluga caviar and those sufflés
or throwing people out of hotel rooms.
To be honest though, it's a lot of work being a diva, and I've had a lot of thoughts about my blog and it's future. Should I just let it die? Or should I try to bring it back to life. As a diva, I'm allowed to change my mind, but for now bitches...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting here in my manpri's and an oversized (circus size) shirt with a glass of water. So...
I was tagged to do this memememememe by IDV so you can ALL blame him for this not being a PeteUSA2009 post. Bless him. Personally, I'm quite thrilled by this, because I have no idea where to start on my US tour story. Until such time, here are the answers to these very probing questions.
1) My mother once: told me that if it's not real silver - why bother, and if I don't learn to cook and clean, I'll never land myself a husband.
2) Never in my life: Have I ever done anything remotely indecent with a girl. Unless you count smoking, stealing apples and dressing up in her grandmothers clothes (along with the girl, not the grandmother).
3) When I was five: My brother died. I vaguely recall sitting on the front step the day of his funeral with a flower, waiting. Thinking it was a beautiful day.
4) High school was/is: A nightmare.
5) I will never forget: Las Vegas.
6) I once met: Bette Midler. It sounds like ages ago, but it isn't.
7) There's this person I know who: Is the most boring person I've ever met. Ever.
8) Once, at a bar: Someone walked up to me and licked my neck. I never did find out who it was. For all I know it could have been a girl. Bleugh!
9) By noon I'm usually: Under the delusion it's only 9am.
10) Last night I: Played Wii Sports Resort and had Ben & Jerry's Baked Alaska (if it's melted, it's ruined) before going to bed at 10pm. Such a glamorous life - I know!
11) If only I had: A brain?
12) Next time I go to church/temple: Will be my funeral.
14) I like: Dark chocolate, Champagne, drinks, hot men, fine foods and classic movies. Oh, and Kylie.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: My printer. Fascinating.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: My bedroom window overlooking the lawns and parking lot and my bed.
17) You know I'm lying when: I tell you I look hot.
18) In junior school: I once held down a bully and painted face with a permanent marker.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd kill myself. There is no way I'm wearing those clothes.
20) By this time next year I: Hope everything's going as well as it is right now.
21) A better name for me would be: 'Pete? (I have such a lively imagination, no?)
22) I have a hard time understanding: Why people willingly wear cheap looking plastic cloglike shoes.
23) If I ever go back to school, I'll: Study law
24) You know I like you if: I can't stop smiling when I'm around you. Um, I mean if I want to hang out with you.
25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: My hair, makeup and director of photography crews.
26) I hope that: Eventually I'll marry a rich man.
27) Take my advice: Say NO to Crocs
28) My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict, toast, Buck's Fizz, a cup of tea and fresh fruit served by George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Milo Venticafelatté from Heroes and Jamie Denton.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: You bring a book, because it's painfully boring around here.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips and track stars: Nasty tasting, compulsive, Ayo Technology and fit.
32) Why won't anyone: Believe me when I say I am innocent?
33) If you spend the night at my house: Don't even think about trying on my shoes.
34) I'd stop my wedding: If I found out he wasn't rich after all.
35) The world could do without: Crocs, Crocs, Crocs, Celine Dingdong and Beyonce.
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: wear a pair of Crocs.
37) My favourite thing is: Cocktail parties, shoes and hot men.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: People give them credit for.
39) And by the way: I'd rather put pins in my eyes than watch any of the sequels to the movie Lord of the Rings.
40) The last time I was (really) drunk: I played foosball and darts (both, apparently quite poorly) with friends and waking up the next morning not knowing how I got home and feeling a little sore.
41) My grandmother always: Well she died before I was born, but my great grandmother always said the important thing in life was knowing how to cook, and finish each day with a drink.
While CyberPete is touring California and Chicago, I'm stuck at home. The worst thing is that he took my mastercard and left me with little else but a bottle of San Pellegrino, a slice of mouldy cheese and half a tub of frozen yoghurt.
At least he's coming home soon, and I'll get my credit card back and I can be fed again. Good times! He's been sending me photos from his fabulous tour - PeteUSA2009 - and while you can't see it in the photos, he has turned into a Starbucks cappu-frappa-latté drinking power shopping bitch. Instead of publishing photos of him strutting down The Miracle Mile in Chicago and Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills with his cappu-frappa-latté and bags from Dolce Gabbana, Fendi, Salvatore Ferragamo, Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik, Tiffany's & Co., Hugo Boss, Gucci, Prada and Giorgio Armani we show you a few photos of Kylie.
Pete's having a party in his Chicago river view hotel room.
First of all, I want to say that I got my iPhone back on Wednesday. It was a long wait but on the positive side I got a brand spankin' new one. Good times, as Tim would say. It was like missing a limb not to have it, which proves that the iPhone was the right choice for me. Honestly, I'd say the iPhone is for everyone. It's got everything you need (except Flash and a decent camera). So now on with the show. Last time I updated I purposely omitted my meeting with Madge. Of course you don't actually meet Madge, you see her on stage doing her thing and then she leaves. That's basically it really.
Well, we sailed from Millenium Pier to the O2 where the concert was held and apparently we arrived unfashionably early. Before anything else we went to the tats stand. You know, the place you buy the heartshaped sunglasses, hideous t-shirts and the tour programme. Naturally I got the programme which I will address later. For once Madgetastic was on time and he (I'm describing my friend here, not Madge - just thought I'd explain as that could be fairly confusing) had us eating our terrible concert venue pizza upstairs before heading into the arena (I suppose) while Paul Oakenfold was warming up the crowd.
I looked around to see how many people were there.
Clearly people could care less about Paul Oakenfold and cared more about hitting up Nando's outside, buying tat or dolling up in the loo. I could understand why because it was less than inspired and I got no warm feelings from looking at this sad old kreacher - to specify I mean Paul Oakenfold. He wasn't exactly warming anyones cockles.
So we patiently sat there waiting, and waiting for him to leave the stage. Then we waited, and waited until I spotted something
But I had spotted something. Four figures up near the far left screen. I swear one of the is the old bag herself. Unfortunately none of our cameras worked well enough to zoom in for a closer look but she was there. Looking over the few in attendance. It was kind of sad. Mostly for her and the kreacher.
Then the lights went out and all sorts of graphics whirled by on the monitors
A gumball machine. How inventive. Showing us how they were made from what I can only assume was old ingredients. All revealing her sitting on her throne - legs spread as wide as the old hip replacements would allow. It's amazing how flexible they make bolts, cements and plastic these days. Before we go further I'm giving you the set list.
Candy Shop
Beat Goes On
Human Nature (YAY!)
Vogue (YAY!)
Into The Groove
Holiday
Dress You Up
She's Not Me
Music
Devil Wouldn't Recognize You (YAY!)
Spanish Lesson (she always performs the ultimate stinker from her recent albu doesn't she?)
Miles Away
La Isla Bonita
Doli Doli
You Must Love Me
4 Minutes
Like A Prayer
Frozen
Ray Of Light
Give It 2 Me
Now going through this, I am not entirely sure if these photos are in order and for which song she wore a particular outfit. What I do know is that I've skipped some of the outfits because they were, to be quite frank, hideous. That doesn't mean that the ones on display here aren't hideous, it just means there was something somewhat interesting in the photo or I needed filler.
Madge went all out by taking a car with her on stage and was waving a piece of clothing in the air. We had hoped she had kept it all on though. She is scary looking.
Most of her male dancers were quite good looking. There was one dancer though, with long hair. I don't fancy that.
On the Confessions on a Toilet tour Madge took out the old electric guitar and we were "treated" a few songs with Madge on the guitar. It was repeated on this tour. Apparently someone is under the delusion that they are a rock bitch.
Then there was a bit of costume borrowing going on - but I suppose it's a tribute that goes both ways. Oh and notice sexy dancer on the right. Nice! And nice boots!
On a totally unrelated note I kind of fancied the guy in front to the right. Mostly for his hair though. The person to his left not so much.
She jumped around on stage so much you'd think she was a 20 year old aerobics instructor. It was ridiculous. She could outdance all her dancers but it just looks wrong when a senior citizen does that.
Then she capitalised on the death of Michael Jackson. It was not why we were there but it was all over the news. Even in Denmark. Madge is a cunning, cynical business person who knows exactly what makes the news. The person dancing was good at it, it was just in poor taste.
She got down and boogied with her male dancers.
I must admit Madge lost me long before this, but I was just about to get into the groove again when a bunch of Hungarian folk singers came on stage and started playing. It felt like they would never leave. I just couldn't get into that. They massacred La Isla Bonita - a favorite of mine.
Then Madge molested the image of Justin Timberlake. He had to put up with a lot from Madges prosthetic hips whatever else was down those trousers.
See, the ugly male dancer was the one in the front to the right. I'm so totally not feeling Madges hair.
More guitar playing. The boots look like the ones from the 4 Minutes video. I'm wondering if the budget was spent mostly on makeup because surely the outfits couldn't have cost much.
If this was the actual ending to the concert I can't remember. What I do remember is that suddenly the lights went out. A big monitor said "Game Over" and that was it. No goodbyes or thanks for coming. Just the cold shoulder and giving us the finger once or twice. I swear I almost walked out.
Now these next images were ones I took with my iPhone. The ones above are mostly done by Madgetastic.
The God thing never gets old, or does it?
Anyway for the most part I had a good time. The Vogueing happened which was a huge plus. I had told Madgetastic that if there was no Vogueage going on I'd kick Madge in the groin and dump the remains in the River Thames. Apparently someone has connections. The dancing was too much, the vocal was alright, the visuals a little stale at times and the concept stupid. Madge does look scary in person. If you met it in a dark alley you should be very afraid.
I was more than happy that Madgetastic wanted to fly me to London to see the Old and Bitter concert and while it turned out to be more old than bitter, a good time was had by us. For me it was being in London more than the concert which is more show than concert. Not that there is anything wrong with that though. If I were a neutral party I'd give it 3 steel dild...sorry! microphones.
Well, I promised to come back to the tour programme. That was the lamest piece of tat in the shop. I should have bought the £8 button instead. It's just photos of Madge in very little clothes, airbrushed to oblivion and doing some sort of boxing stuff in a basement or somewhere dingy like that. Madges own person dungeon where Guy was chained up until he escaped long enough to get divorced?
The time has come for me to tell you all about my fabulous trip to London. It was every bit as fabulous as I had imagined it would be. There were a few surprises along the way and sights that we didn't get to see. Actually we didn't get to do much sightseeing, and to my horror we forgot to go touch the lions feet on Trafalgar Square. You can see it here though.
We arrived late on Friday evening. Like always, there was something wrong with the Stansted Express (why they call it express, I'll never know) which meant we arrived by Tube at the Russell Sq. station (I love Russell Square) too late to shop at the Brunswick.
Remember, at that time I still had my FABULOUS and much missed iPhone so the photos are blurry and rather poor but you get the idea. Just across the street from the Tube station is a Tesco. It wasn't always a Tesco, but once the wonderful Hart's Grocer or something like that. It was a wonderful place and I have bought many a sandwich in there over the years. It has been closed for many years though. Anyway, I was waiting outside the station while my friend (after this only referred to as Madgetastic for his love of Madge) was in Tesco to get something to drink and possibly chocolate eclairs (he loves chocolate eclairs and is completely obsessed with them). While I was waiting I saw a young man standing outside, much like I was standing outside the Tube station and I thought he may have been a hustler. Or maybe it was just laundry day as our dear friend Bingowings had experienced once. Anyway, this older man came up to me and started chatting but Madgetastic came to my rescue.
After checking in, we hung out in Madgetastics room for a while talking. I say that, but I'm a little fuzzy on the details although I know for a fact that we didn't have any alcohol and the hotel bill didn't include any roomservice ordered that night. Now that I think about it, I am a little shocked at how poor my memory is, but I think we just talked for a while and I went to my room and took a lovely long bath and read for a while. The book is called The World of Normal Boys by K.M. Soehnlein.
On Saturday we went shopping. This was fantastic. We went to Carnaby Street and Oxford Street, Regent Street and Covent Garden to name a few places. Madgetastic was on a mission to find a Storm shop. He had his mind set on getting a watch and maybe some rings and a bag. After visiting the second Storm shop he'd gotten what he wanted. A quick stop at Marks & Spencers where I got a bottle of nice Italian red wine (but no cork screw) and a visit to the Holy Land we discovered it was actually London Pride day.
We also managed to find a Doc Martens shop on Neal Street (I think it was) and they had some pretty kinky high heeled leather boots for an otherwise pretty so 90s phenomenon. I wonder if those were the ones Madge wore at her Old and Bitter concert. By the way, I put a POX on Crocs!
Anyway, Pride. To be quite honest, I've never actually done the whole Pride thing. It's just a bunch of screaming, cunty, skinny, skanky queens in leopard print trousers isn't it? That, and those leather daddies that MJ is so fond of. However Madgetastic who isn't actually gay (although he weekly claims either being bi, straight or gay - I think he kissed a guy once) was too obsessed with it and wanted to go to "that gay part of town". I kept telling him he might be thinking about Soho where we once shopped at Prowler. He wasn't sure. Anyway, we started on Leicester Square home of the famous handprints of Dame Maggie Smith and made our way towards Soho.
Of course the square and the streets were packed with people. It seemed harmless and fun, except for one poor bloke with a bloody nose who was surrounded by the police. Had the parade been in Denmark he'd probably been dead.
Faggots, faggots everywhere and not a drop to drink.
Oh look! Skanky queen. I'm being a bitch, I know. Sorry.
Oh look! Nando's! Oh how I waved. Like a spechul.
After cruising the parties, listening to some dodgy singer belt out a few tunes, checking out the shopping booths and the advertising whores in their tiny pants (not that I'm complaining because sweet jebus they were hot!) we walked homo. Ooops! I meant to say home. Stopping at a lovely square on the way.
It was near the British Museum. That night we went out to eat. My treat. There was no plan about where to eat so we just walked around aimlessly in the area around Russell Square where our hotel was. At one point we considered eating at the hotel but that's a little too touristy so we found this lovely restaurant called Denise's. We had drinks and dinner before stumbling back home.
That was where I learned what a Manhattan is. A Manhattan is....Something you should NEVER order. I can't remember when I've had a more disgusting drink. Ever. Of course my Manhattan didn't have a cherry.
We went back to the hotel. The Hotel Russell by the way. My favorite London hotel. Where we called roomservice and asked them to bring up a bucket of ice. We had bought a bottle of sequin Absolute Vodka and some soda and at 3 am I stumbled back down the hall to my room.
That day we'd been shopping at Lush (I've never had better service evah! Even at the Apple Store and Tous which had lovely staff too) so I decided I needed to take a bath with my rubber ducky.
Bringing along my book, wine and a pink cupcake.
The next morning the phone rang at 9am and I looked around.
How on earth did it get to look like that?!? I did make it down to breakfast and we also made it to Debenhams and House of Fraser (where I bought some Kylie - Couture) before heading off to the Old and Bitter concert.
The Old and Bitter concert was at the London O2 (the old Millenium Dome) and to get there, as the Jubilee line was closed, we sailed from the Millenium Pier by the London Eye (old Millenium Wheel?).
London is gorgeous isn't it. Same place, almost just the other direction. We sailed under Tower Bridge, past Tower of London and went to the concert. More on the concert in an upcoming post. Then we sailed back.
Since it was so late on a Sunday night the Tube had closed and I put my foot down and said. We're walking! I needed the fresh air, the stillness of London and let's face it. I needed the exercise.
The London Eye from the other side of the bank, at 1am. London is so beautiful isn't it just.
A few drinks in Madgetastics room, and it was time for another Lush bath.
A bath, a book and a bottle of wine. That's heaven! Scary morning after, and off we were. It was time to leave London again. So sad, I almost cried. I wished the Ryan Air flight would be cancelled. We took the Tube to Liverpool Street Station and caught the Stansted Express to the airport.
Random escalator at a random Tube station.
At the airport we went to Starbucks to get something to eat. I love Starbucks. The pink thing is some kind of raspberry frappuccino thing and the nutty thing is a rocky roads I think. My memory is a little fuzzy.
After that, we just sat and waited for our flight number to be called.
