Book update

I decided to repeat my book challenge of last year and this means reading 12 books this year. I've already finished four books this year and I started reading two more books. Unfortunately I've been so very busy over the past few months that I haven't been reading a lot or anything at all. My new (fabulously interesting and rewarding with the pityful salary) job has been taking a lot of time and energy.

Yet today I was doing nothing. I mean nothing, n-o-t-h-i-n-g! Absolutely nothing, so I could do as I pleased. This meant a TCM (Turner Classic Movies) movie marathon with a fabulous lineup.

• the last bit of The Glass Bottom Boat (Doris Day baby!)
• Gone With the Wind (Well frankly my dear, I don't give a damn)
• Little Women (now I want to read the book!)
• 2001: A Space Odyssey (what gorgeous cinematography, gotta love Stanley Kubrick)

The next movie on the schedule was Training Day but I have to say, I am not too keen on watching that. Mostly because it doesn't belong on TCM because it's only from 2001. It's not a classic, and especially not yet. So I decided to read and I ended up finishing the fifth book in my 2009 book challenge.

Brothers by Ted van Lieshout. To be honest I don't remember why I picked it. It sure as hell wasn't because of the cover. Maybe it was the tagline, Life, death, truth. I don't think it could have been said more clearly than that.

Since this book is an English translation of a Dutch book, the writing doesn't flow. Either Dutch is just really difficult to translate, or the translator wasn't very good. I hope it's the first. In any case, it's still a good book.

The style is very interesting as it's about two brothers. One is dead, and the other has stolen his diary (no, I haven't stolen the storyline - I wasn't aware this book existed at the time) and decides to save the diary from their mothers ritual burning of all his earthly posessions by writing in the diary. Making it more his, that his late brothers. It may sound strange or a little naive, but it's a very touching book despite the poor translation (I don't speak Dutch but it seemed evident even to me).

It was sweet, disturbing and very sad. It made me wish my brother had left behind a diary I could read. Even if it seems like a massive invasion of privacy to pry into the most private thoughts of another person, living or dead. I guess my question is, would you? I don't know if I would. I guess to me it would be a chance to know my brother who I never got a chance to know, but morally would it be OK?

Kylie wiggles it for charity

I guess I should post something. So, here is the official Monkey Man video

Like a yo-yo

There is a song by Sabrina (Salerno) - Italian 80s dance classics singer called 'Like a yo yo'. Oddly enough it's the only song one of my best friends remembers even though she shows more tits in the 'Boys Boys Boys' video which was also her biggest hit.

It somehow symbolises the way most girls feel about their weight. For a few years it's been either tipping the cow or tipping the scale for me. I have no comments on the size of my tits though so you might as well just put that out of your mind. Mostly I've been concentrating on the stuff I felt I could fix easiely, like hair, eyebrows and such so I haven't thought too much about the fact that my clothes sizes have become ridiculous but just let it be. Like I said, it's been going on for years. Then I cut soda out of my daily diet, but in came candy as a substitute and so forth. Yet something's changed and February 1st I decided to get on the scale and I was not happy.

The fact that neigbours didn't come knocking after that nightmarishly shriek was a miracle or a testament to how close you get to the people living next door in a city like Copenhagen. Or maybe it was only something dogs could hear and strangely enough I haven't seen a lot of dogs in the City but that's besides the point. Something had to be done, but when you deal with someone like me, it can't be major changes. I changed little things (or thing) like watching what I eat. Et voila! Since February 1st I've lost 8 kilos. Something that has taken very little effort (and oddly enough a larger quantity of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked). One step at a time I say, and we'll see when I actually start exercising. Just the mere thought of that scares me.

But how great is it to fit into trousers a size smaller? It's only beaten by being able to sit in them.



I used to be very focused on losing weight and everyone would compliment me when I had lost weight. What everyone didn't know what was that (like now) I went on the scale every day, and my diet consisted of

- a glass of 2% milk
- 2 slices of brown bread
- 2 slices of roastbeef
- 100 g of chicken breast
- 50 g of gummy bears
- 3 diet pills containing ephedrine and caffeine
- copious amounts of water

Add to that one hour on a stairmaster and 20 minutes of situps, crunches and pushups. Every day. For 5 months. It worked like a charm but then the pills were taken off the market, and for reasons I can't explain other than it being a hideous exercise programme I stopped.

Thus the reason I'm now watching what I eat. Oh, I would also like to be able to sit relatively comfortable in the airplane seat during my transatlantic travels this August.

Here is my favorite song and video right now.

I can't wait

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts goes to.....

This is it isn't it? The moment we've all been waiting for - and for far too long. After many a sleepless night and far too many tantrums the winner of

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition

has been found. All your submissions were printed out, divided into piles and from there, started to eliminate until I was forced to realise it was even harder than I thought. You were all brilliant, and if I could I'd send The Shorts to all of you, but I can't. A winner must be found, and so I ventured on. As you were all brilliant I don't want to single out some of you and not mention others (who were equally brilliant) but to stretch this post for all it's worth, I have to.

There were the straight (tee-hee!) to the point captions like this one

mago: Two minutes.

There were the long stories like this one

Tatas: One day Little Cyberpete got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny.
Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was.
Johnny's face grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

The fashion critic (everyone's a critic eh? *eye roll* Tee-hee!)

Ponita: Looking down, CyberPete realized the havoc created by his glittery period had thrown his fashion sense for a total loop. What could he have been thinking.... pairing his lovely pink pumps with those Freakin' Green Elf Shorts! The red waistband totally clashed... he should have worn his ruby pumps instead.

The musical ones (pinching some Kylie, that's some coincident yeah?)

Donn Coppens:
And did I forget to mention,
that I found a new infection,
And it leaks blue SEE!
I'm spinning around...

The movie references

sEa: CyberPete sighs with great relief realizing that she will not have to confess her clandestine affair with Legolas (or was it Will Farrell) to the Elven High Council."

The imposters (I would love to see Tim win though)

Tim 'I really covet those 'Shorts' Leng: 'Petra looked down in horror at the discarded undergarments he'd stepped in. This was the last time he was having that unruly pixie-of-pop, Kylie, to stay.

The anonymous (I know who you are bitch!)

Anonymous: "All that glitters is not gold,but where that came from it's hideously old"

*sips a wee sip of Jamesons*

The ones who didn't want to enter the compo (aww.....)

eroswings: The Elf critic review of the Mariah Carey movie, Glitter!

Tim: It quickly became apparent that all that glitters really IS NOT gold.

Oh my! These are brilliant. Does it get any better than this? Well.... here are the contenders for

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

The first 9 entries are in no particular order as they deserve to be recognised for being fabulous and (some of the 10 most brilliant entries)

mago: Two minutes.

Tara: Only CyberPete knew where the stolen diamonds were really hidden.

savannah: "well, where DID you think angel dust came from, darling?"

INNER VOICES: "what would you do for a klondike bar?"

mutleythedog: What does the loo roll look like I wonder?

FirstNations: I was wearing them. sorry *kicks pumps off and staggers away*"I must be geting on in years," thought cyberpete as he gazed sadly down at the evidence "...all I did was sneeze."

Random Chick: "Miley Cyrus finally enters puberty."

Famulus: Euw, I'm not snorting that!

Jorge Porge: "I would have thought that elfs used mini pads"

breakerslion: "Moments the Sisterhood try not to think about."

Oh gosh! Weren't they brilliant?!? I bet you are wondering what could possibly top that, but one person kept going and going and going.... You get the point, and they all had me in stitches (except the sober tran caption. I recent being called sober!). That person was none other than our very own Homo Erec...sorry,

HOMO ESCAPEONS (aka. Donn Coppens)

With the caption

Hey Sailor, mi Curaçao es su Curaçao u like?

H'OKAY TWANTEE DULLAH!

CONGRATULATIONS!

However, this is not it though. I have one more thing to pass out, I have something special for someone very special who didn't participate. You wonder who and what it is.

T-Birdy come and claim your prize! - and because it's your lucky day, I'll throw in a little something extra.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Now Mr. Donn Coppens and Miss T-Birdy please email me at cyberpete@webspeed.dk to claim your prize.

Thank you everyone for playing, and I hope you will all come play again if I should find myself in possession of said Shorts or something else (tutu anyone?) to auction off to the most entertaining captionist.

Prophecy III

Then, I saw a new heaven and a new earth
And I heard a great voice from the throne saying:
"Behold the dwelling of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts are with men
They will dwell with them, and they shall be its people
And The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts themselves will be with them
The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts will wipe away every stain from their every orifice
And death shall be no more
Neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore
For these things will have passed away

To the needy The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts will give pleasure without price
From the pool of filth and sleaze
He who conquers shall have this heritage
And The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts will be his God and he shall be their son

But as for the cowardly, the faithful, the unpolluted
As for the losers, religious, saints, and all righteous
Their lot shall be in the common space of man

And The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts said to me, they said to me:
"Do not seal up the words of the prophecy, for the time is near
Behold, I am coming soon"



Come back tomorrow for the big reveal