The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts goes to.....

This is it isn't it? The moment we've all been waiting for - and for far too long. After many a sleepless night and far too many tantrums the winner of

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition

has been found. All your submissions were printed out, divided into piles and from there, started to eliminate until I was forced to realise it was even harder than I thought. You were all brilliant, and if I could I'd send The Shorts to all of you, but I can't. A winner must be found, and so I ventured on. As you were all brilliant I don't want to single out some of you and not mention others (who were equally brilliant) but to stretch this post for all it's worth, I have to.

There were the straight (tee-hee!) to the point captions like this one

mago: Two minutes.

There were the long stories like this one

Tatas: One day Little Cyberpete got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny.
Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was.
Johnny's face grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

The fashion critic (everyone's a critic eh? *eye roll* Tee-hee!)

Ponita: Looking down, CyberPete realized the havoc created by his glittery period had thrown his fashion sense for a total loop. What could he have been thinking.... pairing his lovely pink pumps with those Freakin' Green Elf Shorts! The red waistband totally clashed... he should have worn his ruby pumps instead.

The musical ones (pinching some Kylie, that's some coincident yeah?)

Donn Coppens:
And did I forget to mention,
that I found a new infection,
And it leaks blue SEE!
I'm spinning around...

The movie references

sEa: CyberPete sighs with great relief realizing that she will not have to confess her clandestine affair with Legolas (or was it Will Farrell) to the Elven High Council."

The imposters (I would love to see Tim win though)

Tim 'I really covet those 'Shorts' Leng: 'Petra looked down in horror at the discarded undergarments he'd stepped in. This was the last time he was having that unruly pixie-of-pop, Kylie, to stay.

The anonymous (I know who you are bitch!)

Anonymous: "All that glitters is not gold,but where that came from it's hideously old"

*sips a wee sip of Jamesons*

The ones who didn't want to enter the compo (aww.....)

eroswings: The Elf critic review of the Mariah Carey movie, Glitter!

Tim: It quickly became apparent that all that glitters really IS NOT gold.

Oh my! These are brilliant. Does it get any better than this? Well.... here are the contenders for

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

The first 9 entries are in no particular order as they deserve to be recognised for being fabulous and (some of the 10 most brilliant entries)

mago: Two minutes.

Tara: Only CyberPete knew where the stolen diamonds were really hidden.

savannah: "well, where DID you think angel dust came from, darling?"

INNER VOICES: "what would you do for a klondike bar?"

mutleythedog: What does the loo roll look like I wonder?

FirstNations: I was wearing them. sorry *kicks pumps off and staggers away*"I must be geting on in years," thought cyberpete as he gazed sadly down at the evidence "...all I did was sneeze."

Random Chick: "Miley Cyrus finally enters puberty."

Famulus: Euw, I'm not snorting that!

Jorge Porge: "I would have thought that elfs used mini pads"

breakerslion: "Moments the Sisterhood try not to think about."

Oh gosh! Weren't they brilliant?!? I bet you are wondering what could possibly top that, but one person kept going and going and going.... You get the point, and they all had me in stitches (except the sober tran caption. I recent being called sober!). That person was none other than our very own Homo Erec...sorry,

HOMO ESCAPEONS (aka. Donn Coppens)

With the caption

Hey Sailor, mi Curaçao es su Curaçao u like?

H'OKAY TWANTEE DULLAH!

CONGRATULATIONS!

However, this is not it though. I have one more thing to pass out, I have something special for someone very special who didn't participate. You wonder who and what it is.

T-Birdy come and claim your prize! - and because it's your lucky day, I'll throw in a little something extra.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Now Mr. Donn Coppens and Miss T-Birdy please email me at cyberpete@webspeed.dk to claim your prize.

Thank you everyone for playing, and I hope you will all come play again if I should find myself in possession of said Shorts or something else (tutu anyone?) to auction off to the most entertaining captionist.