In My Life

Films have always been a great part of my life, because they, along with TV were an escape to a better life. Another life. Somewhere far, far away. Plus all the glamour surrounding the making of it. Of course, I know making a movie is not all glitz and glamour and there's a lot of hard, grunt work. Just like in TV. Still, the movies and the cinema were a means to escape whatever troubles you had and go to a different place. A place where other people had troubles that were almost always solved and subsequently they lived happily ever after.

We also didn't have a strong tradition when it came to movies at my childhood home. We didn't buy tapes, and we most certainly didn't go to the cinema. Well, not a lot anyway. My parents would scamper off to see the latest James Bond movie and leaving us kids at home. That was about it. My mother really did fancy Sean Connery, like mother like son I suppose. He was handsome back in the day.

So yes, he's not bloody home yet. Here's a nice little film meme.

Films That Remind Me of Childhood

The first movie I remember watching at the cinema was Walt Disney's The Fox & The Hound (Danish title Mads & Mikkel). I remember getting dressed in my PJs for the movie and I wasn't having it one bit. To this day, this is probably the movie I've cried the most tears to.



Most of my childhood films came curtesy of Walt Disney like The Little Mermaid and Oliver & Co but later in life I remember one time where the whole family were sitting together watching a movie on TV. It was Coming To America starring Eddie Murphy. This was probably around 1989/90. I was around 12 years old and even my evil big brother was there. He's 10 years older than me. It was just such a big moment that the 'whole family' were together and doing something that I actually liked.

I've never counted but I've probably watched this movie 35 times.



Childhood Films Where Removal was Necessary

I've always been very sensitive and when it came to horror, suspense and other genres like that, I knew my limits. I just didn't watch it. Although once I was home alone with evil bro, he and a few of his friends had rented a couple of movies. They had rented Good Morning Vietnam and Miami Spice. Since I don't like war movies, I popped in the latter thinking it was like the series Miami Vice.

Let's just make it very clear, IT WAS PORN! and I was so shocked because I'd never seen anything like it before. I was revolted and yet fascinated. Plus the plot was kind of funny. Obviously it was stopped short before the end, because evil bro came into the living room (the only room we had a VCR in) and he was mortified. I never got to see the end of it which was a little disappointing but I was quite queasy. Strangely enough I didn't tell on my brother that time.

Since I can't find an actual clip of the movie, I leave you with this because why the hell not.



Films that Defined My Teens

My teens were mostly defined by TV series and mini series made for TV along with tacky Hallmark movies. Of TV series it will come as no surprise to anyone that Dynasty was my main inspiration and also action series such as Acapulco HEAT and Mr. & Mrs Smith. Let's take a small look at the latter



I also liked Mistral's Daughter which I would watch with my mother. Of course she'd have a glass of wine in her hand as one does.
Back to the subject at hand, movies I'd have to say that my biggest inspirations were anything with Leslie Nielsen in it. Especially when he paired up with the Zucker Brothers. Like in the Airplane! and the Naked Gun movies.



I also like Sandra Bullock a lot, so naturally I was influenced a lot by her movies. The Net was a favourite.



Films Seen Multiple Times at Theatres

This could be potentially embarrassing. I've watched 4 movies multiple times at the theatre. Now delight in my humiliation while I take you through them and the reasons behind it. There's always a reason.

Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock.

I've watched it 4 times at the theatre and I actually don't have a total of how many times I've watched it on DVD. It's a lot though.

Well, first time I watched it was with my bestest friend evah. He's a fanboy like me and we always watch Sandra Bullock movies at the theatre together so naturally we went to watch it.

Second time was with a girl who I was very close friends with at the time. I'll mention her 2 more times in this one. Let's call her Maria, because that's her name. She's a lovely girl. We had a falling out almost 10 years ago and met up 4 years ago and I blew her off which was very rude of me and I regret this very much now but I can't find her. I've tried. Well, we loved to go to the movies and as you'll see later on, we'd watch anything. Twice.

Third time was with Dullface because we had decided to go watch a movie and he wanted to watch this one. I liked it, so there we go. It was still funny!

Fourth time was when I had gone to the International People's College and a group of us wanted to go watch a movie. The others hadn't watched this one, and I decided not to share the fact that I'd watched it 3 times before. After we got back and had some wine, it came out though and we all had a big laugh about it. That was the point when I was accepted into the lush club. I was so happy and drunk for the rest of the stay.



The Patriot starring Mel Gibson

I watched this one twice. Haven't watched it since it came out because it's not my genre. As a general rule I don't like war movies, and this one felt like it went on forever. So, why did I watch it twice?

This movie was watched with Maria both times. First time was because the theatre in our town only had two screening rooms. One large and one tiny. There was also only one theatre in our town. That limits the options a lot and it seemed like nothing interesting came out at that time. At least not at our theatre. I don't remember what was out at the time, but maybe we'd already seen it or it wasn't our cup of tea. Anyway we decided to try it out. Then found out we hated it. The following weekend we had nothing better to do so we decided to go the cinema again. Nothing except this movie was showing, so we asked ourselves the question "was it really *THAT* dull?". The answer was yes.

Lord of the Rings

It turned out that The Patriot was nowhere near as dull as Lord of the Rings.

I watched it twice. First time was with my job at the time who decided we should all go waste a Thursday night (the company paid for the tickets). To be honest I started snoring about 20 minutes into the movie and was nudged on the shoulder to wake up when there was a 15 minute break in the movie. Then fell asleep immediately again waking up when the credits came on. It was that entertaining to me.

Before I'd watched it, I had promised Dullface (this was when we were still sort of seeing each other socially) that I'd go watch it with him. He had missed his chance to see it with a group of co-workers so I said OK. I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't. Let's just say it was a very expensive and quite uncomfortable nap.

This is a lot more funny version.



Mission Impossible II - starring Tom Cruise

Probably the most ridiculous movie I've watched in a very long time. Granted I haven't watched it for about 8 years.

Anyway, I watched it both times with Maria. It was basically the same situation as with The Patriot where there's wasn't much else going on. Granted this was more enjoyable because the second time we were laughing through most of it. Ah, the memories!
First Date Film

My first date film was Jurassic Park. A bunch of us from school went to see it. The late screening at 9.20pm so a pick up after the film was over had been arranged by our parents. I didn't want to go at first. Mostly because I knew I'd have nightmares from watching it and then because it was with school 'mates' who I had pretty bad experiences with during the day. So why would I want to go hang out with them in the evening. It would be common sense to not go.

Common sense went out the window when a boy who lived close to me asked me what I was doing on that Thursday evening. I told him, and he asked if he could come with me. 'To protect me'. I laughed. He insisted and my mother got him in. Of course they didn't know what was going on. We'd gotten tickets a little further back from everyone else because I'd brought 'an outsider'. Apparently that was frowned upon. Still, we had a good time holding hands in the darkness of the theatre. I bought it on VHS tape in 1998 and rewatched it because there are parts I didn't watch the first time and that's all I have to say about that.
Nightmares from Films

I never had nightmares from Jurassic Park, which is a bit strange but maybe I was looking elsewhere through most of that film. What did give me nightmares was Scream. It was the first and only horror movie I'd watched up until then. That night I was with Dullface and a straight guy (let's call him H) who I had a huge crush on and actually had fooled around with a bit a couple of years earlier.

--- an aside--
My experience has always been that 3 is a crowd. Everytime there were two people and me, I ended up getting clobbered. If not physically then at least mentally. Every time I'd end up being at the bad end of some sick prank or joke. So I rarely went to anything knowing we would be 3 (or more for that matter).
--- aside over--

It was going pretty ok. Then the other two wanted to watch a movie, and of course H pulled out a copy of Scream. Instead of leaving, I sat there watching it all. Then of course they had a lot of fun scaring the shit out of me througout the movie and said they'd follow me on my walk home and jump out at me. As I had to walk past the forest and every second lamp post was turned off I was scared to death walking home. I heard my own footsteps and so I ran thinking I was being followed. It was just really unpleasant. Obviously they didn't follow me. I slept with the lights on for 4 days.

Films that are Guilty Pleasures

So many guilty pleasures, so little time! I am going to limit myself to four films.

Batman & Robin

I watched this at the theatre but I can't recall who I watched it with. I think I was staring too much at George Clooney's crotch to notice anything else. I later bought it on VHS and loved every minute of the campy goodness. I still say it's the best Batman movie ever made. It has George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell in tight outfits, Uma Thurman in tiny little nothing outfits and loads of makeup. Camp dialogue and Arnold Schwarzenegger dancing in furry bear slippers. What's not to love!



Catwoman

So ridiculously bad it's good. Bad computer effects, bad acting, bad dialogue, horrible story and Sharon Stone. Not like that's anything new for Sharon Stone of course. After Basic Instinct 2 I'll believe anything.

I watched this at the theatre with my bestest friend evah and we laughed throughout the entire thing. Of course he thought it was dire. I see it as camptastic. Potatoe/potatoe I suppose. Just had to get the DVD.



Spice World

This is actually comedy genius combined with catchy (and very popular) pop songs. I love how kitchy it is and how you can easily spot the movie mistakes in this one and believe me, there are plenty. Usually you have to have a good eye to notice some of the movie mistakes but not in this. To be honest I think they kept them in to give this movie a new dimension. Like in the Airplane! movies. I watched this movie with Dullface. He wanted to see it as much as I did, so one day we rocked popped up at the theatre at 6pm (there were no later screenings of this one. We wondered why) and stood in line to get our tickets. Then we were seated in the tiny screening room and we were the oldest patrons who weren't escorted by adults.

Also, I was the only one laughing throughout the movie. I guess some people just have no sense of humour.




Barb Wire

We missed this one at the theatre. It only played for one week in the tiny screening room. I still don't know why. It was camptastic, kick arse action and as a gayer I still say there's something about Pamela Anderson and her boobs. Loved everything about it and bought the special edition VHS tape. Yes there was a special edition, and it was a £25 import in 1997. To this day, I still love it and I have it on DVD.




Last Film I Saw at the Theatre

I have started expanding my horizons when it comes to films. To be honest I don't care for Danish movies except the really old ones from the 1920s and up to about 1969 or so. Some of the new ones can be alright but most are dire. That said, I accepted an invitation to go with colleagues to see SuperClásico which is part Danish and part South American.  It's about a man who has taken his son with him to South America to try and get his wife back. She's run off with a dishy football player and a career. This is his journey.



It's probably one of the most f*cked up movies I've ever watched. Weirdly funny and kind of depressing all at the same time.

Favourite Film No One Else Seems to Know About

Gunshy

I'm not sure I'll be good at selling this. I'd never watched it but decided to buy it anyway because it stars Sandra Bullock, Liam Neeson and Oliver Platt and it's about a DEA agent who starts undergoing therapy who then goes to Sandra Bullock for a little cleansing where she utters the famous (or it should be) line "Hi, I'm Judy Tipp and I'll be doing your enema" or something to that effect.



Two if by Sea or the Danish title Stole Hearts (yes that is the translation, no Danish words there)

Another one I bought without having watched it. I didn't expect it to be any good, but it was surprisingly witty. Dennis Leary takes his girlfriend on a job (he steals things) and it all goes tits up.
Please, please, please watch the clip here ! You may actually like it.

The Contender

This is a really good political thriller. I saw a review of this on TV when it came out and thought I'd have to watch it. Since it never made it to our two screening room theatre, I had to buy it once it came out. I get goosebumps just watching the trailer. It's THAT good.



You should all do this meme and let me know in the comments that you've done it.

Now, come on everyone! All together now. "ISN'T HE BLOODY HOME YET?". Maybe..