Sayhey Lovefilm presents: Not-so-live-blogging RED

We here at SayHey watch it, so you don't have to. You should know the drill by now. Otherwise, do have at look at my previous Not-so-live-blogging events .

Todays feature is RED. I'm watching it in HD on my Yousee box. I love this rental feature where I don't have to go anywhere to rent a movie. All I have to do is push a few buttons and BOOM! Movie right on my TV in HD quality. Best part is, I don't have to take it back as it just disappears again after 24 hrs. None of that Lovefilm DVD thing where you must pop them in the postbox on the way to or from work. Besides, I only get a bill every 3 months.

As I said, todays feature is RED. The action movie combining the unlikely of Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren and action movie. Here we go... 

DC Comics? Is this based on a comic book? Oh no!

Bruce Willis still looks hot.

Also starring: Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker, Julian McMahon, Ernest Borgnine, James Remar and Richard Dreyfuss. They pulled out the big guns eh?

Bruce Willis lives very neat, with dark furniture and dark blue walls. He looks bald.

Apparently Bruce Willis is lonely because he tore up his pension cheque to call Mary-Louise Parker for a new one. Apparently he does this a lot because they seem to know each other pretty well.

Mary-Louise Parker wants excitement and travel. She reads romance novels. How novel.

It starts a bit slow. He lives in Cleveland and it's around Christmas. I know this because it said Cleveland on his trash bin, and the gaudy holiday decorations are up.

God, if I looked like that at 50 or whatever, I wouldn't be eating dinner alone! Bruce, I still would...

They both read the romance novel.

I don't get why Bruce Willis has to sleep wearing so much clothes.

Oh, oh ACTION about to start!

Intruders in the house, and Brucie is in the kitchen, or so they think

Bruce is so KOOL!

Packing his emergency kit and then he's out of there while the house is getting shot at by machine guns of some kind. It's all a bit over the top and American. I love it!

Oh, he's not out of there yet. He's been hiding and massive shooting. Don't they ever run out of bullits?

Kansas City!

We are now in Kansas City at Mary-Louise Parker appartment. She was not expecting Brucie in her flat. Haha. She's throwing stuff at him.

Oh no, they are very being followed and so he put gaffa tape over her mouth and tied her up in the backseat. She's not happy about it.

Sounds like Fragglerock if you ask me.

Oh, cute man is setting up someone for a crime at a gorgeous modern house. He has someone hanging by the neck now.

New target is Brucie. Cute man is a black op guy.

New Orleans hello!

Mary-Louise Parker tied up to a bed.

Meet Morgan Freeman in a red velvet tracksuit. This isn't a pretty picture.

Brucie and Morgan are talking. Brucie brought fingers with him. I'm not kidding! FINGERS.

Morgan Freeman to Brucie: "somebody has a serious hardon for you" - favourite line so far, and so true. So true.

Mary-Louise Parker escaped. She was very shocked she actually got loose, and now there's trouble. Cute man found out about her.

Brucie saves the girl. She was injected with a sedative or something. She's hjigh apparently.

Cute guy getting shot at. He's not just cute, he's hot.

This is so not a real street. This is a studio lot for sure. A little disappointing to be honest.

First Coca Cola sign.

CIA is behind it all apparently. Morgan figured it out.

Welcome to New York City. Been driving on that very road I think.

Mary-Louise Parker to Brucie: "I was hoping you had hair" - first bald head joke. It was pretty funny.

Oh look! It's Lanes mother from Gilmore Girls. She is the mother of a dead journalist that Brucie and Marylou (Mary-Louise Parker is now known as that).

The plot thickens. Brucie and Marylou were checking things out at the library it seems.

Dramatic facial expressions by Brucie. Apparently the guy who they were looking for is dead.

At the CIA there's a records keeper who has all the records of the black ops agents. Apparently Brucie used to be one of them, and cute guy is now checking it out.

RED is Retired Extremely Dangerous. Now we know that.

Pensacola, Florida

Brucie and Marylou are about to meet someone in alligator land.

It's a little exciting.

Whoooops there he is!

He lives in a car.

We are about 32 minutes into it now. It's actually pretty good. Not at all comic booky, that there's anything wrong with that. I like the old Superman movies, Spiderman and I'd like to watch Green Lantern.

Mobile, Alabama!

A city called Mobile? Weird.

The dude they hooked up with walks around with a teddy bear pig and is very paranoid. It's a little funny.

James Remar! WE LOVE YOU!

James Remar just passed. May he rest in pieces. Again lots of shooting and explosions. BOOM!

Brucie really LIKES Marylou.

Brucie now visiting the Russian Embassy to see someone to get help. They want to get into the CIA.

Love the sort of faux cold war, iron wall aspects. We need more of this.

I also missed the really bad fake Russian accents. The worst I've seen are in K-19 Widow Maker starring Harrison Ford.

Now Brucie and Marylou are going into the CIA building. It's a little exciting and a little bit Covert Affair esque.

Another hair joke. Hah! Somehow I think Brucie would look a little sad with hair.

Cute nay hot guy and Brucie (also hot) are now fighting. it's a little exciting and very EXCITING if you know what I mean.

They got out. Much excitement going on though.

ENTER DAME HELEN MIRREN!

Well, actually Brucie entered Helens house. "I kill people dear", Helen Mirren is so kool. Never thought I'd hear her say that.

We just established that cute, nay hot guy has a family. I'm sure that'll turn up later.

Who knew Helen Mirren could be this gun crazy. It's fun.

They've discovered the reason why and who wants them all dead.

Lots of shooting, commotion and Marylou was just captured.

The only one who does any real acting in this movie is Helen Mirren but she really does upp the class, the lass.

Brucie is now at the cute, nay hot guys house calling. Threatning his family.

Marylou is becoming kool. How about that!

Brucie is going to kill the guy behind it all. so they are going to CHICAGO!

I've been to Chicago, it's not all that.

Helen Mirren is looking classy as ever.

Julian McMahon! He's attractive. I'd let him..

Apparently he's their target. I'm sure after a bit of schmoozing there'll be gunfire and other action business.

Excessive firepower but very entertaining
It's very American but we are loving this!

THEY SHOT DAME HELEN MIRREN!! So.not.kool!

We are almost at the climax of the movie. Exciting stuff.

All we need now is Brucie snogging cute nay hot guy.

The END or in French 'fin'

I do hope they'll get the entire cast back to do another one. Cute nay hot guy is Karl Urban