Sunday, May 09, 2010

The Adventures of Tim: Too big to fit in here

Tim of Sparky Malarkey asked us to give him a little action. So naturally I went to work on him. Taking my time, working my way up his sides, taking my time going on the pecks and then finally making my way slowly up his inner thighs.

Of his cut out Actionless paper doll of course.

Just to clarify, I love the song, not Tim, and now I'm digging a big hole and I should just delete the youtube song but it's too good for that. So deal with it.

Naturally I upgraded Tiny Actionless Tim and now he was ready for all sorts of action. So, naturally I took Tiny Tim along when I went out to find and buy my new TV. I'd already gone to two shops after work on my own because Tim was home tidying up his own mess, but on Friday I took him along to The Sony Center for a final glance. The salesman, a man in his late fourties who first showed us a 50 inch TV which was too big. It made me think of this

and couldn't concentrate on whatever the man was saying until the song had played out in full. Then he went on to talk about other TVs until he finally made it to my future TV. It was just there, black, sleek and fabulous. I actually had to stop myself from doing the Auto- and Boatshow glamourwhore demonstrations of sort of leaning on it and stroking it gently for no one in particular. It's just that pretty!

Yesterday I went there with more reinforcements to collect the TV and transport it back to my flat. This is when I really needed Tims help. Let me just say, once he'd finished fooling around with my DVDs


and that took some time indeed


I set him to work on the TV table I bought last weekend. Because really, Tim wanted action so action was what he was getting.


Tim seemed a little outraged at the large package, but I thought he might as well get used to that sort of thing - living with me and all.


It didn't look like Tim seemed confident with the manual but I told him to get to it.


I helped Tim with some of the hard work but this was his project.


Tim was very surprised to be almost done with now. All it needed was metal things it was supposed to stand on - and fitting the glass plate on top.


With the metal things securely fastened, I helped turning it around and tried to fit on the glass plate. It didn't fit of course, so we had to take the thing apart again and unscrewing bits to loosen one of the side blocks. With the glass plate fitting, again we put the DVD player etc. on it.


It was hard work, but someone had to do it, and so I was thrilled to give Tim a bit of action. Finally it was time to unpack the TV and set it up. This bit was a little less work for Tim, and more for me.


Quite frankly I could have used a little more help doing the last bits but Tim was satisfied being the TV show whore and posing for you all. Bless him!

Thank you Tim, and I'm sure we'll have more fun in the future.

For all those of you, interested in what TV I actually got: Sony KDL40HX700AEP and I'm loving it.

Thursday, May 06, 2010


Last weekend I went on a fairly intense shopping spree. I got up at 7am to as I couldn't possibly do any clothes shopping where I live. Which subsequently meant that I was yawning all day long. First off I went shopping for clothes as I needed new trousers, shirts and T's.

I went into the shop, headed for the racks of trousers and started pulling down stuff in my size, and then moved onto the T's and shirts. Then I headed for the changing room where I managed to go from 8 pairs of trousers to 3 and eliminated 3 shirts and 2 T's. It was a shopping frenzy and people were *THIS* close to getting hurt. At one point an assistant tried to reach in and hand me a shirt a size smaller (not a bad thing) and he nearly lost his arm. Although I always identify more with Tweety Bird, I may have acted more like Taz the Tazmanian Devil.

When I was done I lugged all my stuff up to the counter and awaited them to ring it up. Although I had expected it to be fairly pricey I was a little surprised (mortified) when they said it would be £350 and he actually had to rip my VISA from my ever whitening fingers. I must have blacked out a bit because when I came back to reality he was spelling it out S-I-R Y-O-U R-E-A-L-L-Y M-U-S-T S-I-G-N H-E-R-E as he pointed to the slip of paper on the counter. I shook my head and managed an of course nod and signed. Then I proceeded to stagger out to the car.

Later that day I bought a new black high gloss TV table which was on sale, and once I got home I ordered a limited edition bottle of Mo√ęt with Swarovsky Crystals and a gorgeous silk label. Why? Because I just HAD to.

Then, I managed to not shop much this week, except for my trip to Copenhagen yesterday which I will revisit at a later date, of course. So today I couldn't wait any longer. It was time to start looking at TVs.

I don't ask for much. All that is needed is at least a 40", full HD TV with DVB T and C, mpeg 4 and 200 hz.

You know, I'm really just listing things I've been told right? Nah, I have actually done a bit of research although of course I'm not exactly a techie gay. I don't even know how to type crossed out text here on Blogger (how do you do that Tim?).

Anyway, today I decided to go have an actual look at TVs. In the first shop I was met by a lovely man who was very pleasant to talk to. He seemed like he knew what he talked about but was able to use layman's terms that even I understood. Which was a huge plus. I was pleasantly surprised that he went straight for the Samsung TVs which I kind of favour, half because I have very positive experiences with Samsung products and half because they are very pretty. He steered me to a 46 incher which had what I required and it looked great. It was £800 which was a steal, but as I know that you don't buy the first thing you see, I had him reserve it for tomorrow afternoon where I have to decide if I want it or not. At the time I saw it, I was ready to buy it though. I could feel my credit card become red hot in my wallet.

Then I went to another shop. When I got into the shop I started looking around. It looked positively deserted. Then a voice bellowed from a distant corner "can I help you?". Maybe, I yelled back. The voice came closer and then a slightly chubby, tall, pale man with a pair of slightly greasy glasses stood before me. He was maybe in his late thirties. That instant, I had labeled him as a geek.

The slighly rude and confrontational tone in his voice was a bit off putting.

Geek: What are you looking for?
Pete: A TV
Geek: What kind?
Pete: 40" TV..
Geek: Brand?
Pete: Um, maybe Samsung..?
Geek: Why?
Pete: Um. I've been very happy with Samsung products in the past..
Geek: What else?
Pete: Excuse me?
Geek: Specifications?
Pete: At least 200 hz
Geek: Why?
Pete: Um, because it's better than 100 hz and because sometimes you get ghostly shadows and almost stop motion if you get too few hz.
Geek: It's not all about the hz though, you have to see the TVs in action, you know.
Pete: I do know, that's why I'm here
Geek: I have a really good 42" Panasonic over here..

..and that's when he started showing me a brand new Panasonic TV that he started raving on about like a mental person. He did say himself during his 15 minute monologue that he was geek, and continued raving on, showing me what it could do and how perfect it was.

When I asked him about other TVs, he got a bit huffy and started talking about Samsung TVs and showed a few of them. He made a point out of comparing them to the Panasonic TV he'd already showed. To be honest I don't know what to think of it all. The geek and I got off on the wrong foot and I must admit that I still don't like him, however there is something trustworthy about buying something from someone geeky who seems to know everything about TVs.

I'm no closer to deciding so tomorrow I'm off to the Sony Center to see what they have to offer, and then I might make up my decision. However, for someone who can't even decide what to have for dinner. I do hope I'll get something of a better quality than this though