Friday, October 22, 2010


Continued from here

['Petra's iPhone started vibrating intensely in his hand]

I'm sorry, I've got to take this. 'Petra said, holding up a hand before turning around listening to the high pitched wailing on the other end of the sleek, gorgeous, piano black iPhone. Very well, I'll be there in a second 'Petra said, turning to face the Coven elders. I've got to go, something very personal has come up. I'll be back before you know it. Sorry.

'Petra then spun around in the Louboutin heels, snapped her fingers and disappeared in a shower of glitter and sparkles.

A moment later, 'Petra was in a dingy, low lit, filthy apartment. A bedroom to be more specific, facing a woman sitting by a bed crying. 'Petra hid in a darkened corner with a box of old magazines with crossword puzzles. A policeman walked over to the woman sitting on a chair she'd covered with a newspaper. Ma'am, we need to go. We need to lock the apartment until we've determined if this was foul play. The woman turned and looked the policeman straight in the eyes, but we found her like this, she said. The policeman helped the woman up. She smoothed her Chanel skirt, wiped her eyes and walked out not saying a word.

'Petra heard the key turn in the lock and the clacking of Prada pumps walking down the stairs outside. Without hesitation, the Louboutins made it across the room, almost like the heels weren't touching the dusty and extremely dirty carpeted floor. 'Petra kneeled down on the filthy floor, and looked at the woman his mother had been hunched over. She looked so tiny, peaceful yet disturbingly pale. 'Petra reached down and wiped the hair away from the old womans forehead and mumbled an incantation.

The old woman started breathing again, opened her eyes and frowned. What on earth did you do that for?!? the old woman demanded. 'Petra looked down at the woman, who was wearing a smelly old nightgown and responded. You were dead! The old woman pulled up the dirty duvet and said, I know! Finally, I've been waiting 20 years for this and then you go waking me up to this nightmare.

'Petra frowned. You are right, it does look fairly nasty in here. Allow me to do a home improvement so we can talk. 'Petra snapped her fingers and in a shower of glitter everything in the room became clean. The chandelier glowed and the old woman stared with her mouth open. Don't get too excited, it's all an illusion darling, 'Petra said. Oh honey, you simply can't wear that old thing! 'Petra snapped her fingers again and the old woman was wearing a white silk night gown, matching silk robe and diamond earrings and necklace. The bare feet suddenly in a silver Gucci stiletto.

The old woman smiled, this is how I used to live you know, she said. 'Petra motioned the old woman to follow her. As 'Petra moved from the bedroom to through the hall, dining room and stopping in the lounge snapping her fingers on the way. Everything transformed. The dirty carpets turned into gorgeous wood and marble flooring, wallpaper was repaired and cleaned, chandeliers aglow and sparkly, furniture sparkling clean and the air clean and fresh. The high ceilings, stuccowork and paneled walls looked like it had in it's heyday 20 years earlier. It looked amazing, and just like 'Petra remembered.

The old woman looked misty eyed at the transformation. I'm so embarrassed of how it turned out, she said. Referring to the old sick that had been in the corner by the bathroom door. It had been covered by a bit of newspaper but the old woman couldn't get down that low to clean it up. Actually, it was in her head. She thought, she couldn't get down that low without risk of falling. It was tragic, but this wasn't the reason 'Petra had come. The old woman looked around for something to drink. Being dead had made her a bit thirsty. Again, without a word 'Petra snapped her fingers and a tray consisting of nibbles, two martini glasses and a pitcher of martini appeared.

Martini? 'Petra offered. Oh sorry, I forgot. 'Petra snapped her fingers again and a bottle of Moët appeared along with two Champagne flutes. I must have inherited my taste of Champagne from you dear Auntie. They clinked their crystal glasses and took a sip. We don't have that long, but I thought I'd come and pay my final respects in person, 'Petra said smiling.

Eloise smiled, it's alright dear. I'll miss you most of all. You were always my favorite, although you stopped calling. I realise I'd stopped living 20 years ago, and I wasn't that fun to be around. 'Petra put a hand on her aunts and smiled wickedly. When you started drinking wine out of cardboard boxes, and put up those hideously orange curtains, I had to say stop. There would be no recovering from that, Eloise.

The old woman chuckled. We had a good run though, didn't we? You used to vacation here all the time, begging to join my dinner parties. Back in the day, playing Draughts, solving puzzles, playing cards and drinking Champagne. I knew you were special 'Petra. A 10 year old who thinks Champagne tasts divine - that's a keeper in my book. Eloise wiped a tear from her eye, and smiled. I'm sorry I let it all go. I had my problems.

'Petra took a sip of Champagne. It's not your fault though, Eloise, you couldn't help it. Nobody could have foreseen you falling in love with a married man. Especially not one who 10 years down the line, would die only weeks before his divorce was final. Let alone one who was divorcing one of the most powerful dark witches in the area. I can taste the curse in the air. The b-uh-witch cursed you! 'Petra couldn't believe she hadn't sensed it before. Elosie shook her head, no matter she said, wiping a tear from 'Petras face with one of her perfectly manicured hands.

Was that the red nail varnish Vicious Tramp? 'Petra couldn't help but wonder. No matter, it was all fine. It was done, nothing could be changed. Errrr.. Auntie? May I ask you a question? Eloise, arched a brow and looked expectantly at her, niece? nephew? Oh, who cared with labels these days. 'Petra looked apologetically at her aunt and asked. What's the real story about all those men that came to your door when you looked upstairs from grandmother and grandfather? Eloise chuckled. Oh how could you not know this. I thought your dear mother had filled you in, but no matter. I will tell you the real story.

It was another time back then, and I'd just moved out of your grand parents apartment. Through my work at the criminal courts office, I'd gotten to know a lot of policemen. They would come up for visits and I may have been playing the field a little too much in my fathers opinion, Eloise explained. I also happened to meet a very nice sailor who I took a liking to. We had an affair and people in the building started talking. This is why my father took me aside and told me to act proper. A few years later I met my married man, and the rest as they say is history.

'Petra was intrigued but didn't push it any further. Instead she poured another glass of Moët for them both, and they clinked glasses. To death, Eloise said smiling wickedly. I remember two things from a few years ago, 'Petra said. Things that I'll forever smile when I'm reminded of. Eloise frowned a little, I'm not sure I'll like what you are about to remember, she said.

The most vivid memory is when Mrs. Maxwell upstairs died and the handymen broke the floor and your ceiling, Eloise. You didn't want them to come in and fix it, and told them you'd take care of it. Then finding out, after they'd left for the weekend that your entire bathroom was filled with dust and rubble. That was not the worst part though. Then come Monday, they handymen were back, and you didn't want to go to the loo when they could be ogling you from up there. What's a woman to do, but squatting over a bucket in the bedroom. This was only part of it, you then poured your liquids into the kitchen sink..

Eloise looked a little embarrassed, but recovered quickly by raising her glass and toasted. To an old womans silliness! They clinked.

'Petra continued, this time with another silly tale. I remember being told of how you'd gone to the grocery store and bought apples, creme cheese and a cardboard carton of wine. Then just as you are about to step into the building, you fell over backwards and sat on the bag - and wine! Thankfully, someone saw you and helped you up to your apartment also bringing the bag with you. Of course the bag was now leaking red wine, and so you thrust a roll of kitchen towels into her hand and told her to go clean it up. The way it was told to me, made it sound very funny.

Eloise smiled a little again. I remember that, I was so embarrassed and had to get rid of the woman she said.

I on the other hand remember taking you out to lunch 'Petra. You were about 8, a very mature 8. I ordered us open sandwiches, and mine were roastbeef and other 'adult' varieties. When they brought yours in, we both stared at the plate mouths agape. Do you remember what the third sandwich was, 'Petra? 'Petra smiled from ear to ear. Yes, I do, 'Petra answered, it was buttered white bread with thin slices of chocolate and banana on top. I don't think I'd ever eaten anything that gross before. Eloise smiled, you didn't eat it though. I remember you throwing a hissy fit at the waiter who brought you an entirely new plate identical to the one I had. 'Petra chuckled, sounds like me but I don't remember that.

The two sat there, enjoying the Champagne. It was nice, 'Petra thought. Just like in the old days. The light in the chandelier started flickering and 'Petra knew it was time. She looked at Eloise, and Eloise frowned slightly. It's time, isn't it? Well, let's go then 'Petra.

'Petra walked Eloise back to the bedroom, the rooms behind them turning dark and dirty again. Eloise, laid on the bed and pulled the crisp silky sheets up to her neck and smiled. Thank you for giving me a little extra time 'Petra. 'Petra kissed Eloise on the forehead and they said their goodbyes. Then 'Petra snapped her fingers again, and Eloise laid there, cold and peaceful again, the room surrounding the two also back to it's dark and dreadful state. 'Petra wiped a tear from her eye, and snapped her fingers again, and in a shower of glitter and sparkles returned to the other Coven members here, one second after she'd gone.

Only this time, wearing a gorgeous black Gucci cloak.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

You're on in 5 Miss 'Petra

No, this is her assistant. Miss 'Petra is not available at the moment.
Oh.. very well, I'll get her.

Assistant: Miss 'Petra ? I'm terribly sorry to interrupt but you've got a phone cal..
Assistant: But it's *THE* call

Oh just give me my iPhone Sarah, exclaimed Miss 'Petra.

5 minutes?
Doesn't give me much time to change
Right, of course they weren't
Thank you darling
See you in 5

Who was that? asked Sarah who was Miss 'Petras assistant. Miss 'Petra smiled wickedly at Sarah and yelled "ENTOURAGE ASSEMBLE NOW!"
Once the beauty team had assembled they were instructed, "I need to get out of the dress and these light gloves".

Everyone scrampered along and Miss 'Petra was finally freed from the wire prison before following her stylist into her dressing room.

We have two minutes to find something that goes with this hair, and these nails, Miss 'Petra said. Something glamorous, because this is a very special event.

Something long and floaty, with thigh high slits perhaps? That's it! That green Michael Kors is hideous Jon. Burn it or find another job! Miss 'Petra said before putting on the dress.

It's almost time! Sarah screamed running in and pushing a pair of Christian Louboutins into Miss 'Petras arms along with the iPhone.

Miss 'Petra hurriedly put the iPhone in silent mode, got into the Louboutins and in a shower of glitter & sparkles she disappeared..

only to reappear slightly jetlagged but ever so poised in front of two very lovely Coven elders here.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Apple hoor

Around five years ago I bought my first Apple product. It was an iPod Shuffle and I loved it. Of course I was a huge step for me to buy something from Apple. To be honest, I had this hate relationship with Apple products. They weren't proper computers, and they weren't nearly as good as the proper PC's. What was worse, was that they weren't compatible with anything non-Apple. That was probably the biggest issue for me.

At the end of the day, getting an iPod Shuffle wouldn't be a huge deal. After all it was just an mp3 player and it worked with a proper PC. I eventually made the decision to get one, and by goddess Kylie I loved it! It was gorgeous, dependable and easy to use.

It must have been fate, that my iPod passed away shortly before the iPhone was launched here in Denmark. I signed up for the iPhone because it seemed like the best thing since sliced bread. Also I never thought it was going to catch on here. You see, we are like Nokia country (despite Nokia being from Finland) and the iPhone was so pricey. I hate being on the bandwagon when it comes to new stuff, and I weren't really because I'd decided to get one long before it was launched here. Anyway, they skipped the regular iPhone and jumped straight to the iPhone 3G, and I got one. From day one, I loved it!

From then on, I got my current iPhone which is the 3G S model and I love that even more. If that is possible. It is in fact, the best thing since sliced bread! Apparently my talking about the iPhone got my brother to ditch his Blackberry (which he hated with a passion by the way) and get an iPhone. The phone has made me a little more open to Apple products combined with the fact that you CAN actually get Windows OS so you aren't stuck with the Apple one. Whatever that's called.

Now every year around this time, the corporation I work for issue a selection of products and deals that are paid for by your salary before taxes. The Danish tax system allows this, and since I pay 40% tax of all my income it's quite lucrative. Every year I've chosen to buy shares in the company this way.

This year they've included computers in the selection and I have been looking through the list feel like it's time for something nice. A treat if you will. Unlike the deal with buying shares in the corporation, this computer deal is not a one year deal. The computers are paid for over two years, kind of like a leasing agreement where after the two years are up, you are asked if you want to buy it. The purchase price would be one or two installments at the end of the two years.

Anyway, I've looked at the selection and decided which stuff to get. Since I've practically become an Apple hoor thanks to Tim. Well at least he nudged me ever closer to the joys that are the pretty Apple products. I've come to the decision to get these things

1. Macbook Pro 15" i7 2.66 Ghz

2. Apple Time Capsule 1 Tb

3. Apple Cinema 27"

4. and because I'm not completely sold on Apple software, Windows 7 for Mac.

Oh, and possibly a mouse? I am not sure if I should get one for the MacBook Pro.

Anyway I won't be getting the goodies until next year though so I'll be acting like a 5 year old until then.

In slightly more anticlimactic news, I can show you the more precise location of THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS and their journey towards Mr. Donn.

September 28, 2010 10:35 PM Ready for transport to Canada
September 29, 2010 10:53 AM Sent to Canada
October 1, 2010 04:11 PM Arrived in Canada
October 7, 2010 05:31 AM Arrived at distributionscenter Canada
October 7, 2010 12:00 PM Addressee advised to pick up item
October 7, 2010 12:30 PM Addressee being notified

It's all very exciting stuff!

Sunday, October 03, 2010

When in doubt, add more chocolate syrup

The always wonderful Tara has published the schedule for October here and you should definately check it out. Check.It.Out.

Why? Because today is Janet Leigh day! If any of you start saying Janet Leigh who? Then I will just shake my head and go away to die. Possibly in the shower. I've only watched af few of the things she's done though

- Little Women - with Liz Taylor
- Psycho which I actually bought on special edition DVD
- Murder She Wrote - yes she was in one episode with Dame Aggie.
- Family Law - she was in one episode of this as well. Liked that show.

On top of that, I can mention that she was in: The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Bye Bye Birdie and more recently Halloween H20: 20 years later.
She also guested these TV shows: Love Story, Columbo, Fantasy Island, two episodes of The Love Boat playing two different characters, The Twilight Zone and Touched By An Angel

All just to name a few of her 85 appearances.

She passed away this very day 6 years ago in Beverly Hills at the age of 77.

This very day many moons ago, was also the day my parents got married. Strangely enough only a couple of days before my grandfathers death. Shotgun wedding or..

The sounds get to me every time. Miss Leigh, you are greatly missed!

EDIT: I've also learned today that Piggy of Piggy and Tazzy has passed away. He too will be greatly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with Tazzy and all their loved ones.