It seems appropriate that I write this on the one week anniversary of our Saturday night with Kylie Minogue. You see, there's a story in there as it turns out.
I knew of Miss K and her work and had for years. Then things went terribly wrong in camp Pete and in whirl of tears, anger, hurt, pain and of cours glitter I ran for the hills. When I say hills, I don't mean actual hills because the only proper hill we have is this which is quite pathetic actually. Hills, in this little story is our kingdoms capital Copenhagen. Although Copenhagen quite quickly turned into Helsingør which is not very far from Copenhagen. It had a school where I could stay and maybe learn some compassion for others less fortunate than myself, and maybe learn not to exploite good old Mother Nature. It was the right thing to do, for everyone involved. As I mentioned, things at home were awful (my family thought it even worse) and it was a way for me to get away, gain some perspective, redo my makeup, find a lovely boytoy and perhaps never come back again. It turned out, I did move back and ended up at my childhood prison for a few months before I got my own flat
My time at the school (this was NOT for juvenile delinquents, depressed people or in any way the kind that you were forced to be at because you were chavvy and the like, just fyi. Read about it here if you like), was quite the experience as I ended up doing things I never thought I'd ever do. There was a lot of sitting around and talking, playing games, having fun, plays and whatnot. Most of the things I never thought I'd do were the dancing and trust exercises. Basically I was the one that stuck out because I hated sharing and I didn't trust anyone.
At this time Kylie had been Spinning Around for a while and On A Night Like This had been doing the rounds. So, Kylie was doing it for the Kids with Robbie and I needed that happy music. It was the only thing that kept me happy (it also helped once I got to know those freaky normal people at the school from all corners of the world) and so on March 23 2001 I took the train in to Copenhagen and partied with all the other gays at the tiny venue VEGA. We were 1500 people cramped in there dancing. I was in 4th row from the stage and it was possibly the most unique and intimate concert by a major artist I've ever attended.
Since then, I've attended one of all Kylie's tours. In total it's been 7 including an appearence she did at the Skanderborg Festival aka. Smukfest in 2009.
Those 7 concerts includes Miss K's latest word tour Aphrodite Les Folies the opening night in Herning, Denmark.
Let's just make it clear from the word go. No, I was not on that video. If you squint and shake your head furiously you may catch a rare glimpse of my ex boyfriend who is said to have been there. Well, he told me himself but that's neither here, nor there.
That particular Saturday was a lovely one. I woke up early, and spent a fair bit of the day lounging on the chaise corresponding with the ever so lovely Miss Roses on spacebook. Then in a whirl of glitter and panic I managed to get my outfit on and hurry out the door to meet my ever so lovely bestest friend evah.
We arrived at the venue about 5.30pm and were ushered to our private Splash Zone entrance where we checked in and got our Splash kits and wristbands. As we stood there waiting for the powers that be to open the doors a man (who looked a bit familiar) came over and poked me on the shoulder asking if I were me. I told him I was, and he handed me an envelope and explained that they were thrilled that I had been such a loyal fan and purchased the Splash Zone tickets. The man, who turned out to be Kylie's manager Terry, told me that they would be giving me a refund of the tickets I'd purchased less standard admission and Kylie had signed the "exclusive photo" in our Splash Packs. We were well happy with this, and then time came for us to be escorted to our exclusive Splash Zone.
We made it to second row by the main stage which turned out to be an awesome place to be. Miss K treated us to awesome facial expressions, even more awesome singing and a stunning show. Splash Zone was on fire on opening night in Denmark. It was only appropriate that Kylie and her team had prepared a water show to finish off the show with All The Lovers and sprays of water over our little patch within the stage.
Kylie took us through the gods and goddesses and the mythological world in a way that only a pop show can do. Taking it's liberties, and making sure that it all looked and sounded fabulous. We were treated to a majority of album tracks from her platinum album Aphrodite (buy it here) as well as a lot of the old hits. When I say old, I mean mostly from within the past ten years. There was no Locomotion or I Should Be So Lucky, which I found a bit refreshing as it left room for other tracks.
Quite a few songs stood out, but this went down incredibly well within Splash Zone (which consisted of quite a lot of hardcore Kylie fans and the like) as you can hear here
You can hear me wohooooing on there. Quite a lot. The track is If You Don't Love Me and the fact that it was performed was mindblowing as it was only released as a B-side to a single back around 1996. So, yes lots of wohooooooing going on as well as amazing footwear.
Let this be a wonderful time to say that Dolce & Gabbana did an amazing job creating all of Kylie's outfits for the show. There's not much else to say about it but
and of course, I took the following photo with my iPhone to show you all how Dolce & Gabbana thinks a goddess bathing suit should look.
As the first month of 2011 is rapidly coming to a close, and the only thing worth mentioning (except of course chatting up Roses on facebook and receiving a present from her because we love her here on Sayhey!) was that last week I got a text from the good people at MasterCard telling me to call them.
I did of course do that immediately, and they told me that someone had used it the night before - twice - charging a total of 3505 quid on IT goods. Outragious! The good people at MasterCard told me not to worry about it, and that they had taken care of it, and I wouldn't be charged. They obviously cancelled the card and are sending me a new one.
In case you are reading this, you, yes you - the one who used my card details - F*cker they are coming for you! Oh, and burn in hell.
With that out of the way, we now look forward to a new month and so far February looks like it'll be the most eventful month of the year. Doesn't say much does it, with two events. There are of course other plans in the pipeline for later this year which I of course will let you in on sometime soon.
The first event is on February 19 where I will take part in the opening night of Kylie's new world tour Aphrodite Les Folies 2011 (which takes name and inspiration from Ziegfeld Follies). Of course I'll be right in the middle of things. Fronrow and centre in the Splash Zone.
Apparently there'll be what the press release calls 4D visuals. I assume it'll be something like the Ralph Lauren fashion show
The water features in Kylie's show Aphrodite Les Folies 2011 are designed by the same people who do the Bellagio fountain water works in Las Vegas.
So, my pretties I do hope you'll get a chance to go. Miss K may be coming by a venue near you. For the unlucky US and Canadiennes out there - you'll be able to see a scaled down version of the show. Tour info can be found here. A tour not to be missed.
Australian dates to be announced.
The second event of February is the following where the Oscars - The Academy Awards take place live at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. Again this year, it promises to be a show with glitz and glam. Of hits and misses and another year where Jim Carrey and Russell Crowe don't stand a chance in hell to win an Oscar. Good times!
A Danish movie is yet again nominated for an Oscar Hævnen - In a Better World in the category Best Foreign Language Film. It has already won a Golden Globe which of course Ricky Gervais mentioned (he was right) was the category that nobody cares about. I of course have no desire to watch the movie but everyone's raving about it.
I LOVE the Oscars. They've always meant something to me, and they still do. It used to be exclusively about the outfits and speeches but over the years I've become more and more interested in the movies we celebrate. It would be nice to have watched at least one of the movies before the show. Just to know what all the fuss was about. For instance the movie which was nominated for the most Oscars, The King's Speech. A whopping 12 nominations, and yet it's not coming to our cinemas until April.
To be honest I feel cheated. I watched a couple of the movies. Inception and Harry Potter 7 part 1. That's all, and yes Black Swan and The Social Network have been shown here and I'm now ruining my arguement. Still I find that every year, movies that haven't seen the light of day here due to distributors stalling, are honoured at the Oscars. They should be honoured because they are some of the best movies out there, yet it would be nice to be able to sit there on Oscar night thinking that out of the 10 (seems excessive doesn't it?) movies nominated for Best Picture you really thought X should have won instead of Y. For me, so far, I'll be thinking back to Inception and not being able to compare it to any of the other nominated movies.
On the subject of nominations for Best Picture, yet still going a little off on a rant when I should be wrapping this up. Well, 10 nominations for Best Picture? It seems a bit excessive. Is that a flexible category? If the movies stink next year, will there only be 3 nominations or will they have to nominate something like The Green Hornet 3D?
Bleugh!
If you have 11 minutes to spare, here is a nice little Australian short film in which Kylie goes beserk. I know, speaking of Best Picture and all that..
It seems like forever ago I wrote my last annual review however it does feel like this year has passed by rather quickly. What's most disconcerting is that I can't remember much of it. I had to look most of it up. For instance, I can't remember the last time I read a book.
Another thing was when I took a couple of those news tests where you have to remember certain things that made the news this year. It gave me a 4/20 and a comment of "were you out of the country a lot?". Which I wasn't. I was home all year long, but I must not have paid attention. Then I took the 'celebrity scandals of 2010' test and scored 9/13. If that's a good or bad thing, I'll leave up to you to decide.
The year did just fly by, and we saw Kylie releasing a new album, Robbie rejoined Take That (and practically took over the BBC and ITV it seems) and The Black Eyed Peas went number 1 in the UK with the worst single of the year The Time (Dirty Bit).
There was also some Royal news as the Norwegian king had an affair, Prince William finally proposed to his Kate, Danish Queen Margrethe II turned 70 and Princess Mary of Denmark got pregnant again (baby expected to drop any minute now).
Let's face it, it's not really about *them* though, is it? It's about me. I can do that, this being my blog and all. So, shall we?
Book Challenge
The challenge of the last few years, was for me to read 12 books. One per month. However as I mentioned earlier, I can't remember the last time I picked up a book. So it was rather shocking for me to realise I've read 16 books!
Not all the books were mentioned here on the blog, so I'll list them all for your viewing pleasure.
Basically an erotic anthology with a vampire theme. Not at all my thing. I read a few of the stories but it left me a bit sick and I had nightmares. Not at all sexy.
Most were enjoyable, but I must admit that I much prefer this one.
With the success of Book Challenge 2010, I think I'll try again next year. I've got a lot of books stashed away under my bed for these cold and snowy/rainy days. In this type of weather, I find that a good movie is there to help me along. Either at the cinema or a DVD.
Movies of 2010
I love movies, and I've got a few DVDs so in order to find out what I've actually watched this year, I've had to look through my bookshelves as well as search my mind to see what I've actually watched this year. I think Hermoine was a little too thorough when she did that Obliviate spell a few weeks ago.
The first of the last Harry Potter movies. It had a good build-up to the big climax. I still don't fancy Harry as it just seems so wrong. He's 21 but I remember him as that little boy with the round glasses. Ewww. Can't wait to see the final movie though.
This was good. You'd think any movie that's nominated for Oscars would be good. Yet, I made the mistake with Sidewaysbut Up In the Air is good. George Clooney could charm his way through anything I'm sure.
Everyone says this is terrible, and was even worse than the first one. I actually prefer this to the first one. Although I must say I don't much care to get Carrie'd away. She's so whiney.
I'm not into sports movies and the only reason why I watched this was because I adore Sandra Bullock. She delivers and deserved the Oscar. It's a wonderful movie about so much more than American football.
Action/comedy starring the always hot Bradley Cooper. It's funny and action packed. I'm not sure if it's anything like the original TV show because I haven't watched that but the writing is not exactly Hemmingway or Henry James.
I'm not a fan of this. Hard hitting action with a touch of comedy. Basically it's an 80s rehash of all the B-movies these has beens have starred in. I do however fancy the pants off Jason Statham
I like the idea of this movie. The acting was good, and the CGI was not bad. A fan of CGI, I'm not but it worked in this. This wasn't CGI for the sake of CGI or cutting cost or saving a trip to the actual place.
I watched this in early 2010 I think. Needless to say I didn't like this. It will be very difficult to find a more overrated and over exposed movie. EVER. I think I'd prefer to watch Twilight see my commentary on this here again. Blue creatures who run around on a planet and speak their own 13 word language for 162 minutes. No thank you. The story could have been, and probably was written on a cocktail napkin. My reason to watch this CGI travesty was the 3D. I had to see what that was like. Meh, I wasn't impressed.
My favorite is this one
I may have watched more movies that came out in 2010 but I honestly can't remember. That Hermoine is a skilled witch. Either that, or my Time Capsule is playing tricks on me.
TV Shows
I've followed 6 new TV Shows (new episodes) and 3 vintage ones. By vintage I mean old, taken off the air shows. They are as follows
I'm not really a vampire/werewolf kind of person, but I did think the idea of a ghost, werewolf and vampire living together trying to lead ordinary lives. It's good!
I started recording this, and watching it on the weekend. However it never quite caught on. I spent some time mocking it a little on Twitter but it wasn't enough to keep me watching. Perhaps it was Tate Donovan who was just way too awkward and plasticy.
I've been recording this on my box, and it's great. We've made it to episode 86 which is around the time the gang made it to college. The Dylan/Kelly romance (he should be with Dylan!) is a little rocky and Brenda had a brief stay in Minnesota.
My favourite
Dynasty
Biggest disappointment is still
From movies and TV we move onto music.
Top 4 albums I bought
I didn't buy a lot of albums this year. To be honest I don't buy a lot of music so it has to really catch my interest.
Contains singles Fire With Fire, Any Which Way and Invisible Light Utterly brilliant camptastic pop album. Pure joy with little nuggets of hilarity if you listen to the lyrics.
It's a bit Pet Shop Boys ish album. I like it. There's first single Wonderful Life which is just brilliant along with Better Than Love and Stay. Kylie joins Hurts for a duet on Devotion. Not really my type of album but I like it a lot.
I didn't buy the first version of this album, but I thought it would be fine to get this one. With all the 'old hits'. The only really awful track on it is the Telephone one with Beyonce. I'm not saying this album is amazing but it's a good 'greatest hits' album considering she's only done this one proper album she's done pretty well for herself. She's gone overboard with the styling though. When she put on that meat dress and the telephone hat, she became a caricature of herself. A bit of a joke really.
My singles top 10 of 2010
Kylie Minogue - Better Than Today (Club Junkies Remix)
I didn't quite know if I should pick Get Outta My Way (7th Heaven Remix) or this one, but I opted for this because it's a little bit overlooked brilliant.
2. Example - Kickstart
Love it!
3. Scissor Sisters - Any Which Way
Camptastic, and love the video.
4. Cheryl Cole - Parachute
Her most recent stuff doesn't really tickly my fancy but I like this. The video is gorgeous.
5. Hurts - Wonderful Life
Love it. I'm glad that I'm not one of those Hurts girls though. Not a fan with being too long under water. I prefer it a bit more sunny and lounging by the pool with a colourful umbrella cocktail.
6. Roll Deep - Good Times
I've never heard this on Danish radio or on any of our music video channels. I did however watch this on the UK Top 40 and I love it. It's so happy.
7. Robyn - Dancing On My Own
I remember this girl from the days of Do You Really Want Me. She was huge in Denmark back then, and voilà she is again. Love this song. She's quirky and not conventionally pretty. I mean that as a compliment.
8. Take That - The Flood
They were everywhere with this song, which is a shame really. I love it, but there is too much of a good thing (when we aren't talking Kylie). It's mostly just Robbie Williams feat. Take That. That's how I prefer it. The Robbieless Take That were boring.
9. Alexandra Burke - Start Without You
I like this song, but I do have to confess that the video does have something to do with it getting into my top 10.
10. Katy Perry - California Gurls
I hate to admit I like the song, but I thought this was great too.
From the best to the worst songs of 2010.
Top 3 worst songs of 2010
A lot of crap was released this year, but these 3 take the cake.
1. Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)
Quite frankly the most hideous track of 2010. I mean, if Ann Widdicombe had released a song it would still be better than this pile of shite.
2. Rihanna - What's My Name
Just no. No, no, no, we don't care.
3. Duffy - Well, Well, Well
Well, well, well... What the fuck happened to Duffy. I mean, I've never cared for her music but this is awful.
Before we end this almost epic review, we have one more thing to do..
Top 10 hottest men of 2010
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. David Boreanaz
3. George Clooney
4. Jake Gyllenhall
5. Bradley Cooper
6. Cesc Fabregas
7. Matthew Bomer
8. Chris O'Donnell
9. Zachary Quinto
10. Mark Salling
So, the annual review is over now. Happy New Year everyone (and thanks for all the holiday wishes)
I've been spending this weekend trying to figure out how to get my new Time Capsule to work. Which of course it doesn't, or sometimes and not perfectly. You'd think it would be easty to just power it up and BOOM! you've got yourself af new wireless harddrive for your laptop that also works as a router. I wish. With some jiggery pokery, I did manage to force it into working as a router, only to discover that I have to constantly register my devices including but not limited to my MacBook Pro, iPhone 3G S and an HP media center with my Internet supplier. Of course I can also only access my beloved Time Capsule from my HP media center, which makes complete sense because I haven't installed the AirPort programme that the MacBook apparently requires to set it up. Yes, I'm beyond thrilled.
So this is my first blog entry through this Time Capsule device, and if it's going to be my last you'll never know. Because of all this, I've decided to be a little festive, and steal an idea from the fabulous Tim and do a mix CD. This however will be more holiday related, so if you are all bah humbug you'll have to deal with it. The songs are not in any kind of order as to which one I like the best, although you can imagine about the first one on the list.
1. Kylie Minogue - Let it Snow
This is a new recording from Miss K and I think it's fair to say that it's pretty damn good. I first heard of it on Twitter, and then before long it was available on iTunes bundled with her delightful cover of Santa Baby (performed live at the tree lighting ceremony in NYs Rockerfeller Center 2010).
2. Mel & Kim - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
This is, to me, a classic. Probably one of the first contemporary Christmas classics I liked. It's fun, it's catchy, the video is hilarious and I liked Kim Wilde. I have memories of dancing around the Christmas tree in our hall to this song wearing a pair of grey leggings and an oversized red jumper. Good times!
Some might prefer the lovely Brenda Lee version to this though. I like that too.
3. Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone
To be honest, I had never heard this one before last year. I own quite a few Christmas albums and how this didn't make it onto any of them is just shocking! Outrageous!
How great is this!
4. Bing Crosby - White Christmas
This is probably THE Christmas classic. I adore this, and it shouldn't be covered because nothing will ever come even remotely close to it. We'eve always heard this at my parents house at Christmas. I even bought the movie White Christmas because of it. This is the essense of Christmas. Funniely enough, it looks like it'll be a white Christmas again this year.
5. Ove Sprogø - Når Du Ser Et Stjerneskud (When You Wish Upon a Star)
The Danish version of Jiminy Cricket (Jesper Fårekylling) When You Wish Upon a Star that features in the Disney From All of Us to All of You show. It's not Christmas eve before you've heard (and seen) this. They show it every year and evil bro and I used to sit and watch it with our crazy aunt. When that song came on, we knew it was not long before the big feast and then it would be time to dance around the tree and get our presents.
Sing along now. Come on everyone!
6. Nat King Cole feat. Natalie Cole - Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
This is not a song I've ever looked for, but rather one that my mother was really fond of. Sometimes these things rub off on you. It's like Sir Cliffs - Mistletoe and Wine which I am shamefully admitting to liking too. We always heard these songs for Christmas.
7. MC Einar - Det' Jul Det' Cool (it's Christmas, it's cool)
This is a late 80s early 90s Danish Christmas classic. One that I started by thinking was fun, but now it really is kool. A little dated, but kool. It's not your typical romaticising Christmas, but rather dealing with all the over consumption and greed in a very smartly sarcastic way without alienating people. You may just think it sounds weird, and if I were in your place I would have to agree. I have a memory of sitting on the loo singing it on the top of my lungs once I was home alone, and the paperboy came and he yelled at me to shut the fuck up. Of course, at that point it was June.
8. Wham - Last Christmas
There simply is no Christmas without Wham Last Christmas. Everything from the song to the video just screams perfection. I can't hear it enough. It's another song that I've danced around in grey leggings and oversized red jumpers to.
9. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby
Santa Baby has got to be the most covered Christmas song of all time. Everyone from Ally McBeal to Madonna, to The Pussycat Dolls and Taylor Swift have covered this track. Even Kylie made a delightfully sensual attempt (which I prefer to most of the other versions). Eartha Kitts version is still number one in my book. *PUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
10. Britney Spears - My Only Wish This Year
I know. I'm not proud, but I really do like this. I ended up buying a really bad Christmas album called Platinum Christmas back in 2000 because of this one song. I tell you, the rest of the tracks from S Club 7, Steps, Monica, TLC, R Kelly to name a few were absolute crap. This song made up for the $20 it cost. CDs were very expensive back then - and still are around here.
11. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas
This is another song you just can't get around. The year it was released it was in the Danish top 10 through mid January. There was no denying it. Of course, I waited years until I bought the album. Mostly because I'm not a Mariah fan. Still, this is a delightful little holiday nugget. It's like the Pringles - once you pop you can't stop.
12. Various Danish Artists - Let Love Be Love
Probably one of the only good Danish holiday songs. This also did incredibly well on the Danish chart. It seems we (and by we, I mean everyone else) love our Danish artists. You may recognise SOAP who had that hit Soap is in the air. It's a little sappy, but that's the holidays, isn't it.
Because I'm really nice, I'll include some guilty pleasures as B-sides.
B-Side - Spice Girls - Sleigh Ride
There really are no words.
B-Side - Aqua - Spin Me a Christmas
If for nothing else, their videos are hilarious. This one too.
Until the Time Capsule works again, Merry Christmas my pretties.
There are a lot of firsts in ones life. Some more pleasant than others. The first time we spoke, crawled, walked, got an A in a test or on an assignment. The first time you played a computer game, jumped off the 10 meter at the local pool, wore pink, had sex, mixed wine and strong liquor, saw Paris Hiltons coochie, watched Gilmore Girls, saw Kylie live in concert and read that one book that came to mean so much to you.
It's a very long list.
I had another first on Thursday. It was very day. You see, Friday last week, I got an email from a delivery service that confirmed they would deliver my Apple kit Thursday. So, Thursday I was home around 3.30pm because the delivery boys would be by any time between 5 to 10pm. Naive as I am, I thought they'd be by pretty early because I live in the centre of town but by 8pm I was very impatient and pretty much giving up due to the snow. At least they could have called or emailed that they wouldn't deliver, I thought.
Then at 9pm they came. I must say what the delivery boy lacked in beauty, my Apple kit most certainly made up for. Everything was there, except the Time Capsule which will be delivered at some point I assume. Although there's still no news on that. Anyway, everything is so gorgeous - even the boxes everything came in was gorgeous. There's no excess styrofoam or other junk, everything is precise and luxoriously made just like my MacBook and Apple Cinema.
After unwrapping the gorgeous equipment, I started corrupting it. Most Mac enthusiasts (fantatics?) would call it the abomination, OUTRAGEOUS! even. However, I'm not one to be playing with a Snow Leopard, you could lose a finger or worse. Being an MS Windows gay, and having been for about 15 years it's not easy to change, and you know what they say. A leopard can't change its spots, or something to that effect. Anyway, it proved pretty easy to violate the sanctity of the Snow Leopard, and my MacBook is now dancing with the devil.
Now, I just need to learn how to use it properly. You see, obviously there are no Windows keys, that's a given. However, there is no Del, End, Home or Insert keys either, and it took me a while to figure out how to work out how to correct the whole issue with the ONE button mouse/mousepad.
I promise I'll take a photo of the setup when I'm all done. I was supposed to clean my flat today, but somehow I can't find the energy and inspiration for it.
This is my first blog post I've done on this fabulous MacBook, and I'm obviously doing it from my sofa while watching the show White Collar (first time watching that!). There's just nothing bad I can say about this laptop. It's divine.
I find that I must stroke it every day, the MacBook (you filthy people!). On that note..
THE FILTH!
Now that we know the O faces of the JLS boys, how do you look at that magic moment? Please feel free, to share your photos.
I've been tagged. It sounds really serious, and to be honest this meme is both delightful and scary all rolled up into one.
You see, Roses wants to know what the ingredients for my secret recipe for my perfect man are.
It's difficult to say, and a little scary because first of all, I risk coming across more selfcentered and shallow that I actually am. Secondly, if I actually type it out it'll be "out there", like saying something out loud that really shouldn't be said out loud.
To be completely honest, I don't know what I want. So I've taken the approach of what I like rather than want.
I like..
working and it would be nice to have an equal who does too, so a minimum of work related bickering is avoided.
having nice things, and since I don't make a lot of money it would be nice if he does.
cooking so it would be great if he doesn't but rather enjoys tidying up, cleaning and washing up.
beauty so it would be fantastic if he was.
nice people, so it is essential that he is nice.
cuddling and staying in bed/snuggling up on the sofa, reading and watching movies. So it is another must that he does too. With me.
to be anywhere but at the gym but it would be nice if he could inspire me to go and make it fun for me.
movie history, and it would be important that he has at least some interest in movies.
nay, adore Miss K and it would be essential that he at least, at a minimum, doesn't mind her.
being a complete lush, and it would be essential that he likes a drink now and again and isn't an alcoholic.
being a bitch from time to time, and it would be nice he could put me in my place now and again.
the toilet paper under, but to be quite honest I'd take it any way he wants it.
staying in, a lot, so it would be nice if he could (from time to time) drag me out on a Friday or Saturday night for a spot of dancing on the bar with fierce high kicks in designer heels and flashing of knuckleduster gold ring.
frivolous things and it would be essential that he doesn't look down on that.
I like the colour red and he should be able to deal with it.
expensive Champagne and he should like to give me that.
London, Las Vegas and San Francisco so taking me there from time to time would be a plus.
I like David Boreanaz, and it most certainly couldn't hurt to look a bit like him
singing around the house, and it would be great if he would too.
keeping the toilet seat down and it would be greatly appreciated if this would remain down whenever he isn't using the loo.
In the end though, I could make a list that goes on forever, but I just be greatful if I found a nice guy who I love and that would love me back.
I like beautiful things and it's not my fault that most of those are designer things. I've been told a million times, that I only love things because they were Dolce & Gabbana or Gucci or Armani. It's not my fault that they make such beautiful things though. It's also the easiest thing in the world to say, because you don't need to back that up. Then again, it's not like I owe anyone an explanation.
People who only wear certain designers and don't mix and match, are in my opinion fashion victims.
That said, I *do* like Dolce & Gabbana, Armani and Gucci. Unfortunately I just can't afford to buy a lot of it. Especially not now as I'm saving up for another trip to Las Vegas where I will most likely be buying way too many fabulous things and seeing Miss Minogue live. It's all very up in the air still as I've saved a total of £50 as of yet and it isn't looking good. It's not that I don't try, as I do play the Lotto most weeks, and I'm just about to win the £3 million prize. I just know it!
If I did, I'd most certainly be getting pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. One must have a pair of those, and I don't. Not yet anyway but these are most certainly on the shortlist.
Christian Louboutin: Bridget's Back!
These fabulous Christian Louboutin studded peep toe ankle booties come in 3 colours
Silver
Gold
and black
Now if I only had those £1,800 times three.. Be careful, the price tag is not the only thing dangerous about wearing fabulous designer heels..
I hate it when the houseboys don't bring me what I ask for.
Then again, now it doesn't matter much, I just imagine what it's going to be like catching up with the other (I'm in right? I must be, mustn't I? Please?) Coven members for a cup of tea.
and getting advice from the handyman
And of course, sticking up for your Coven friends to backstabbing bitches
All in a days work for a desperate Coven pledge.
*The decisions of the remaining Coven memebers, of course. You filthy lot!
I'm a diva. I have strops. That's what IDV says, and while I'd love to say that I'm all peaches and cream, I'm really not. Just yesterday I had one of my strops at work.
Actually, I'm usually nice to my colleagues, but she is quite new at our team, and she keeps asking just me. I wasn't exclusively assigned to train her and I am fairly behind in my own work. She asks the same questions over and over like she isn't getting what we teach her. So, yesterday it became too much.
Miss Joanie would be proud. Actually, I wasn't mad at her, I just got frustrated both because she'd been asking the same question so much that I started doubting my answer and because I was stressed of having to take over someone elses work while she is on holiday (in California, just to rub it in I suppose). She first got a bit red in the cheeks, then she got a little bit tense before going to the loo. When she came back her mascara was a bit smudged (that's what you get for not using waterproofed I suppose). Of course I ended up emailing her (she's two desks over, and I wasn't going to walk all the way over there in my Choos) saying I was sorry. I'm such a softie.
I'm not alone in my diva incarnation though
We all have our good qualities. We appreciate good quality products, designer labels and expect to be treated like the glamorous stars we are. Living in our own world of
and who doesn't love a good catfight to work off that Beluga caviar and those sufflés
or throwing people out of hotel rooms.
To be honest though, it's a lot of work being a diva, and I've had a lot of thoughts about my blog and it's future. Should I just let it die? Or should I try to bring it back to life. As a diva, I'm allowed to change my mind, but for now bitches...
I was looking for a photo earlier on my old blog and now feel like I've become really boring. That was never my intention.
Or for that matter to be posting so rarely. I guess I just lost my blogging mojo.
Anyway, I went to my fathers birthday party the other day. He turned 66 or 67 or something like that. The actual number never came up, so I guess I have something in common with my father afterall.
My evil bro was also at the party. It was actually more of a dinner for a very select group of people, rather than a party because my father doesn't like being the center of attention. Well, my parents were not only taking care of their own dog
but also my cousins dog Gizmo
This became quite the discussion of the night because from the moment I entered the front door to the moment I left, both dogs were competing for my affection. Since my parents were playing favorites to their own, I of course decided to spend time with Gizmo. Out of defiance mostly, but also because Gizmo reminds me of a stuffed animal I had as a boy.
As I tried to divide my attention to both dogs equally I noticed the surly expressions on my parents dog and it wasn't pretty. Not long after they were taking turns trying to mount each other as dogs do. I'm told. Showing who has the power to dominate. It wasn't pretty.
After my evil bro came, the trash talking of Gizmo got worse, because evil bro hates that dog. Not because it's evil, or bites or anything like that. While my parents called Gizmo chunky and such, evil bro called him ugly, smelly and stupid. Granted, Gizmo doesn't know how to play. He just looked at you with a puzzled half bored expression on his face, and he doesn't look attentive if you mention his name. He just has the look of sheer boredom on his face, like he is beyond it all. I liked that.
Gizmo was certainly beyond all of them.
Of course this led to a long discussion in which evil bro and I expressed things we weren't agreeing on. There were many. To my surprise, we ended up having more in common than I thought
1. We both have, and LOVE our iPhones 2. None of us like relish 3. We both watch Sex & the City 4. We both watch Desperate Housewives 5. We both cast our votes at the same political party 6. None of us like Dullface 7. We both like The Pet Shop Boys 8. we both find Sarah Jessica Parker to be one of the ugliest, overrated actors out there and if she were our horse, we'd have sent her to the glue factory YEARS ago
It was fairly shocking. For a moment there, I started having inner struggles
Then he started praising the movie Failure To Launch and all was right with the world again.
What a shit movie! Matthew McHotnessConaghey and Sarah Jessica Parker has worse on screen chemistry than Hitler and Ghandi would have had, if they were to have a torrid on screen love affair. The movie was just trash. Some movies are so bad, that they are good. This was so bad, that it was unredeemably bad.
Also, is it all straight men, that only talk about girls and how little they wear in certain movies or is it just my evil bro? I find it quite nasty and tiresome to listen to.
*(yes I'm stealing IDVs thing here, I'm running out of ideas people! HELP!!!) The movie Sibling Rivalry from 1990 starring Scott Bakula, Kirstie Alley and Carrie Fisher in which Kirstie Alley accidently has a one night stand with her brother in law. Very amusing.
This is a two for the price of one, just for you my pretties. As I sit here in this awful heat with my lemon drop feeling very Socks in the City with my laptop. It would have been much more authentic had it not been for one of those retarded American Pie movies (I think this is number 5) on TV. I think I'll put on some Sex & the City. That will take this from crass to class.
Right where were we, and where did my lemon drop go?
This is one of those dreadful meme posts. First one comes from facebook where a certain Mr. Tim tagged me. So without further ado, I give you
A-Z of me You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the ABC's of YOU.
A - Age: 29 give or take a couple of years (more give than take though, I'm afraid)
B - Bed size: A double.
C - Chore you hate: Cleaning and tidying up. You see, I am missing that gene. It skipped a generation, as my mother is a complete neat freak.
D - Dog's name: I don't have a dog. Growing up my evil bro had a dachshund called Pjevs. He hated me. The dog, although I'm thinking the same went for my evil bro.
E - Essential start your day item: Water, water, water. That and a dab or two of Inverse by Kylie Minogue
F - Favorite color(s): I love red. Red, black and silver. But I really like most happy bright colours except for yellow and orange.
G - Gold or Silver: Silver.
H - Height: Pretty average (I hate that word) really.
I - Instruments you play: I don't play any instruments. I hated everyone at school, but I did sign up for guitar lessons however too few people signed up for it and nothing came of it. Would like to be able to play the piano though.
J - Job title: According to the online dictionary, I'm a trained Office Clerk. What I do now, is make sure people keep up their car payments and if they don't, I take their cars. I love my job!
K - Kid(s): Ewww. Never!
L - Living arrangements: A rented top floor 74 sq meter flat.
M - Mom's name: Ida
N - Nicknames: A colleague of mine called me Pistol Pete in an email last week, and on here people call me 'Petra and CyberPoof. Personally I prefer Pete.
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I've never (knock wood) spent the night in the hospital. Well except for when I was delivered (by a storck obviously)
P - Pet Peeve: Knuckle cracking, people who wear their trousers down their ankles, socks in sandals, Crocs, Uggs, ankle socks in stilettos, ballerina slippers
Q - Quote from a movie: "No wire hangers, ever!" Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest (1981)
R - Right or left handed: Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosy (I learned that from Luke on Gilmore Girls)
S - Siblings: Jens
T - Time you wake up: Ideally around 7am but I go in early these days, so it's more like 6.
U - Underwear: Preferably Dolce & Gabbana (of late I do appreciate Ralph Lauren and I'm quite ashamed about that as I don't trust American designers) but as my pocketbook is a little slim these days Sloggi will have to do.
V - Vegetable you dislike: Is a salad a vegetable? Because I truely HATE Ruccola with a passion. Whoever made that must be in liege with the devil. I also dislike broccoli and brussle sprouts.
W - Workout style: As little and for as short a time as possible.
X - X-rays you've had: I've had a few of my teeth, and my ankles (sprained them a lot when I was a kid - clutz that's me hi!) and when I broke my arm when I was 4. I don't remember breaking my arm, but I've seen the photos.
Y - Yesterday's best moment: Watching Glee or making and eating a wonderful chocolate cake without flour. The chocolate cake won out.
Z - Zoo favorite: I've been to quite a few of those. When I was in San Diego Zoo last year I thought I'd be going gaga for the Panda Bears but they were quite snooty and off putting. My favorite was the Polar Bear. I tell you, one look at one of those and all the energy I was lacking was restored. Loved it! The lion at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas was pretty cute too.
Now, for the bonus feature. The meme from IDV who wants to know these 10 things about me.
1. What's your earliest memory?
The other day I had a flash memory of my father reading to me. I don't know how old I was at the moment, but I must have been younger than 5.
Yes, probably. I did welcome the comeback of Bananarama
Up until I heard their stuff, that is.
4. What is your dream car?
5. How tall are you?
See my answer in the ABC above.
6. Margaret Thatcher vs Queen Elizabeth II: Who would win and why/how?
That's difficult isn't it. They are both iron lizzers uh, I mean ladies. Obviously. Probably Liz though, because she's got the scepter to hit people with and if they are too far away she'll just throw the orb. Plus, she met Gaga.
7. Mama Cass died choking on a sandwich. What sandwich filling would you happily choke on?
Roastbeef
8. Has a pick-up line ever worked for you? If so, what was it? If not, what was the worst reaction?
Not unless "hi" etc. are pick-up lines. I did come up with some funny pun once, and the guy just turned around and walked away. I was relieved.
9. You find yourself inexplicably cloned, barely wearing something sexy, and gagging for it. You would, wouldn't you?! Just out of curiosity, or maybe for some other reason?
What kind of question is that!?! Oh, my god! I wouldn't no. We wouldn't be compatible.
10. How did you find this [IDVs] blog? Go on, indulge me!
It's been soooo many years since, but probably through Glitter For Brains? Then it was either IDV or Lee who introduced me to Tims blog.
Well, ok maybe not. Or, yes you can call me. Although I won't guarantee that I'll pick up.
Do you remember this gem from Blondie?
Now brace yourself, as I'm about to shock you. I never really cared for Blondie or the song for that matter. Then of course, I got an alert that a certain Miss Sabrina Salerno had teamed up with a certain Miss Samantha Fox for a cover version.
Maybe you remember back in the 80s and early 90s there was a page 6 girl catfight? This was the battle of the boobs. Samantha vs. Sabrina. Britain vs. Italy. The media catfight in which the two girls were battling it out on whose boobs were real, who could get to the no. 1 spot and wore least clothes in their videos and photoshoots.
They both fizzled out like punctured breast implants by the early 90s though. Sabrina tried a couple of times to get back her fame in Europe but maintained her star status in Italy. Where Samantha Fox went, I have no clue. Are the rumours true that she's a lesbian?
Anýway, what happens when two 80s has beens come together in appreciation of Blondie?
I grew up in a house with a nice garden by a lake. When I say by a lake, it's mean in that real estate agent kind of way. Because the lake was 3 rows of houses down, and past a fairly busy road. Yet we had a nice view of the lake as the house was on a (very) small hill. I didn't really appreciate the view back then, as I was either in my room colouring, playing Civilization (or Giana Sisters or Oil Imperium) or perhaps sitting outside on the balcony steps playing with our dog.
My parents did all they could, but I did find the entire collection of Abba on vinyl that they had hidden away along with Cliff Richard. Cliff wasn't really my thing though (except for that one Christmas song..)
We didn't just have fruity things in the house. Our garden was filled with black currant, redcurrant, strawberries, raspberries, apples, pears and gooseberries.
There were also melons, although they weren't for eating.
We haven't scaled down on the fruit since, as you can well imagine. I like fruit, I eat way too little of it, and I believe it's way too expensive. That is, if you want fresh fruit. You know, proper fresh fruit. The kind that looks great and doesn't taste waxy and artificial.
So today, as I was all out of ice cream and it was too hot to go anywhere or do anything, I pondered if I should go for ice cream. It was quite the debate in my head really. Yet, I ended up getting dressed properly, and ventured out into the sweltering heat. Sun baking us all, and it was quite a journey. The shop was nice and cool, and of course they'd been practically sold out on ice cream. I also managed to look in the fruit section if they had anything worth buying.
The raspberries looked great, so I stood there inspecting every pack of them. Obviously. As I did so, a woman and her daughter (I can only assume (I know, some stupid American phrase, something about a donkey)) came up to me looking at mangos. The daughter stood there staring, rather rudely I daresay, at me and then turns to her mother asking why I was inspecting the raspberries. Of course, I could have just answered myself, but the mother told her rather flat out "so the gentleman can get the packet with the least worms and rotting berries". Right. She was correct of course, but it almost put me off buying them if it wasn't because the packet I was holding hadn't looked so perfect.
When I got home I checked the packet again and the raspberries were perfect. They also tasted like every bit of summery goodness that I remember. Still, you don't get much eh? Why must the good fruits and berries cost so much?
