Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bittersweet goodbye

It's been a good few years we've had, but it was time for me to say my final goodbyes.

We said hello

We cooked

We had drinks

We cleaned

We washed

We violated religious art

We clashed with our surroundings

We stepped back in time

Then after living together for years it was time to let you go.

Stains, mysterious smells and odd sounds aside, I've had a blast with you. Which is why, it's taken me this long to ship THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS off to their new wearer and competition winner Donn.

In case the memory escapes you, it's possible to relive most of the adventures I've had with THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS here.

The shorts are now safely (hopefully, as they aren't insured) on their way to Donn as seen below.

September 28, 2010 10:35 PM Ready for transport to Canada
September 29, 2010 10:53 AM Sent to Canada

In the meantime we can all enjoy a few deleted scenes from THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS stay with me.




Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I believe in you

I'm becoming a year older on the 29th. That'll be tomorrow, and I know it doesn't give you much time to get me a present or two (how about 5?). However that shouldn't hold you back from getting me something. It's always nice to look forward to something, as long as it's not a beating.

However, I just want to let you know, that the delighfully colourful Tim got me a little pre birthday gift which I'm LOVING.


Notice the beautiful handwriting! I wish my handwriting was this pretty. I thank him dearly for this fabulous gem!

Anyway, for the proper birthday present I have these wishes

1. The Official Kylie Minogue 2011 calendar

2. The Sims 3: Late Night EP (PC DVD)

3. The Sims 3 Late Night Prima Guide

4. When You Don't See Me by Timothy James Beck

5. The God Box by Alex Sanchez

6. Red Dolce & Gabbana shoes in a size 9-10

7. Black Dolce & Gabbana shoes in a size 9-10

8. Tom Ford glasses

9. Night Work by Scissor Sisters on Vinyl

10. Boston Legal on DVD - The Complete Box Season 1 - 5 (or separate)

11. Pink Sparkle perfume by Kylie Minogue

12. Emporio Armani Diamonds Eau de Toilette for me

13. Ole Henriksen African Red Tea Exfoliating Lip Salvation

14. Ole Henriksen Loofah Body Scrub

15. Sonic Screwdriver as seen on the 10th Doctor Who

Any and everything on the list is greatly appreciated (so are cards and greetings etc.) so get shopping everyone.

What I mostly want though, is a spot in the fabulous Coven.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Is it in yet?*

I hate it when the houseboys don't bring me what I ask for.

Then again, now it doesn't matter much, I just imagine what it's going to be like catching up with the other (I'm in right? I must be, mustn't I? Please?) Coven members for a cup of tea.

and getting advice from the handyman

And of course, sticking up for your Coven friends to backstabbing bitches

All in a days work for a desperate Coven pledge.

*The decisions of the remaining Coven memebers, of course. You filthy lot!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

La diva danese

I'm a diva. I have strops. That's what IDV says, and while I'd love to say that I'm all peaches and cream, I'm really not. Just yesterday I had one of my strops at work.

Actually, I'm usually nice to my colleagues, but she is quite new at our team, and she keeps asking just me. I wasn't exclusively assigned to train her and I am fairly behind in my own work. She asks the same questions over and over like she isn't getting what we teach her. So, yesterday it became too much.

Miss Joanie would be proud. Actually, I wasn't mad at her, I just got frustrated both because she'd been asking the same question so much that I started doubting my answer and because I was stressed of having to take over someone elses work while she is on holiday (in California, just to rub it in I suppose). She first got a bit red in the cheeks, then she got a little bit tense before going to the loo. When she came back her mascara was a bit smudged (that's what you get for not using waterproofed I suppose). Of course I ended up emailing her (she's two desks over, and I wasn't going to walk all the way over there in my Choos) saying I was sorry. I'm such a softie.

I'm not alone in my diva incarnation though







We all have our good qualities. We appreciate good quality products, designer labels and expect to be treated like the glamorous stars we are. Living in our own world of


and who doesn't love a good catfight to work off that Beluga caviar and those suffl├ęs

or throwing people out of hotel rooms.

To be honest though, it's a lot of work being a diva, and I've had a lot of thoughts about my blog and it's future. Should I just let it die? Or should I try to bring it back to life. As a diva, I'm allowed to change my mind, but for now bitches...