Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Can I get a banana over here?

I'm sad to say that my birthday is over now. I had the day off and just watched old movies, slept in, ate fabulous food and had some lovely drinks. Although I much prefer puddings, for a birthday there's always cake. So it was lovely while it lasted.

So as a thank you, to all my devoted fans, friends and the rest of my dear readership I give you a lovely cake.


Now, let's get to the real order of business. The PeteUSA2009 tour. I left you after we had lunch at Prego while waiting to board our flight to Chicago (where we jumped onto our flight to Las Vegas). So we boarded the plane and were seated - in monkey class. Now I don't do economy class. However there was no way Dullface would pay for any upgrades and I felt pressured into trying to get an upgrade because afterall we were together. So there I was in monkey class for 7 hrs and 45 minutes.


I read a little and managed to miss the beginning of 3 different movies before finally catching an episode of Bones from start to finish, where David Boreanaz (YUM!) boxed in an underground boxing thing to find the murderer of some guy. Well they kept showing it over and over, and over again. So in total I watched it maybe 4 times. It was still good by the time they shut off the entertainment system for landing at O'Hare.


Also I had never been that close to Donnn before. Excitement overload!

We had an hour and a half to get through immigration, customs, find our gate and get onboard our flight to Las Vegas. Stress overload. We had to pick up our suitcases and hand them over to some woman with credentials up her hooha - I wonder what they really were.

Anyway I'd done the math, our flight from Chicago to Las Vegas would take 3 hours. Two and a half hours into the flight I was preparing for landing. It turns out I was the only one. An hour into the flight I felt like I sat on pins and I was beginning to get a little worried.

Did the flight attendant in the cheap blue lycra outfit and Dr Scholl sandals say we would be using the seat cushion as a floating device in case of a water landing?

The flight felt like it took forever. Of course waiting for my bags to arrive on the stupid luggage carousel thingy. I waited, and waited and by the time there was only a stupid leopard print makeup case left on it, I gave up. Dullface had already gotten his two suitcases off the dastard thing. So I went into the US Airways customer service office. It was still early for being in Vegas but the airport was quiet.

Inside the office there was a nice girl, nay woman. She was very disinterested but asked me where I'd last seen my two fabulous (ok, she didn't say fabulous, but they are dammit!) suitcases and told me that they probably (yes, that was her word) didn't make the plane in Chicago and would be delivered to my hotel the following day. She asked where I was staying, and I reluctantly said I stayed at Luxor. She smiled, and I sent her my best, "I know" smile.

She also needed to know what was in my suitcases. Of course I could hardly remember any of the things, and first said "um, clothes?". Could you be more specific? she said. So slowly I began listing the significant stuff, including my laptop. How could I forget that?


Sunday, September 27, 2009

I'll have the same

I went to America last month. What? You hadn't heard?

The shame!

It just seemed to be time for Pete to tour the US. My tour was called PeteUSA2009 and was destined to hit the following cities

Las Vegas
San Diego
Los Angeles
San Francisco

It was about squeezing in as much as possible in the least amount of time. Mostly because I'm not very famous in the US and my busy schedule in Europe and Scandinavia.

Early on I decided to keep a journal to document what I did, ate, experienced etc. because you never know how much you remember when you get home. I brought along a little book and wrote about every day on my 23 day tour. This little book is turned into a photobook, and is available in good bookshops world wide. Some of the stories and photos will be published on this blog.

As regulars know, I let someone tag along. My friend Dullface. It wasn't a huge success but he did allow for some amusing anecdotes, like the following.

We'd arrived at noon at the Copenhagen Airport and decided to get some lunch before our 8 hr flight. Dullface wanted a pepperoni pizza (this will be brought up at later date) and I was up for anything - except pizza. We settled on a café style place called Prego. They sold pasta, pizza, sandwiches and salads. I was first in line and Dullface asked me what I was ordering. I told him I'd get the plain pasta with gorgonzola sauce and beef tenderloin and he nodded. Clearly not sure what it was.

I ordered, got my food, went to pay while avoiding the paparazzo. When I sat down to eat, Dullface came over with his plate and he had ordered the same as me. I blinked. Then started eating, because it was not my business what he ordered, but I knew he wouldn't like it. He had three bites and pushed the plate away. Inside, I laughed so hard and then summoned all my restrains before asking if he didn't like it.

He said, he wasn't hungry.


Gratuitous Santa Monica Lifeguard totty.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Interlude - My life in Bollywood

Here I am again. It's 8.30am on a Saturday and I'm about to go to work. With so too much work and too little time, I've had to resort to this. Well, did I mention I have Mon, Tues and Wednesday off? With 69 cases I must get through before then, I've had to do this. So, this means yet another non PeteUSA2009 tour post. It's bad, isn't it? At least I've gone through the photos from my tour by now.

Earlier this week I downloaded a new Kylie track off iTunes called Chiggy Wiggy. It's from the Bollywood movie Blue in which Kylie has a tiny part. She dances and sings and as far as I'm aware that's it. The song is number 4 on the Indian airplay chart which is a first for an international singer ever. No one has ever been that high before. The song is of course inspired by the feel of Bollywood and panjaby(?). Whatever, it sounds like nothing I've ever heard before and I got inspired.

I was sitting at work at about 7.30am and one of my crushes is at his desk next to me in this open office environment. So picture this.

The music starts up. I get up from my desk in my tiny cute outfit and 6 inch heels. Wiggling around, shoulder shakes and shimmeying. Then the other girls from the office - age 40+ in all shapes and sizes joins in the dancing for my crush. The panjaby singer comes in with my male boss singing and we dance together through the song. All Bollywood style, and then it finishes and we sit down and get on with our work. I don't know, maybe you need a bit of inspiration?

All in a days work I'd say.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Being boring

It's Saturday night and I'm sitting here in my manpri's and an oversized (circus size) shirt with a glass of water. So...

I was tagged to do this memememememe by IDV so you can ALL blame him for this not being a PeteUSA2009 post. Bless him. Personally, I'm quite thrilled by this, because I have no idea where to start on my US tour story. Until such time, here are the answers to these very probing questions.

1) My mother once: told me that if it's not real silver - why bother, and if I don't learn to cook and clean, I'll never land myself a husband.

2) Never in my life: Have I ever done anything remotely indecent with a girl. Unless you count smoking, stealing apples and dressing up in her grandmothers clothes (along with the girl, not the grandmother).

3) When I was five: My brother died. I vaguely recall sitting on the front step the day of his funeral with a flower, waiting. Thinking it was a beautiful day.

4) High school was/is: A nightmare.

5) I will never forget: Las Vegas.

6) I once met: Bette Midler. It sounds like ages ago, but it isn't.

7) There's this person I know who: Is the most boring person I've ever met. Ever.

8) Once, at a bar: Someone walked up to me and licked my neck. I never did find out who it was. For all I know it could have been a girl. Bleugh!

9) By noon I'm usually: Under the delusion it's only 9am.

10) Last night I: Played Wii Sports Resort and had Ben & Jerry's Baked Alaska (if it's melted, it's ruined) before going to bed at 10pm. Such a glamorous life - I know!

11) If only I had: A brain?

12) Next time I go to church/temple: Will be my funeral.

13) Terri Schiavo: I thought it was a campy soap actress like Terri Garber or Tracy Scoggins.

14) I like: Dark chocolate, Champagne, drinks, hot men, fine foods and classic movies. Oh, and Kylie.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: My printer. Fascinating.

16) When I turn my head right, I see: My bedroom window overlooking the lawns and parking lot and my bed.

17) You know I'm lying when: I tell you I look hot.

18) In junior school: I once held down a bully and painted face with a permanent marker.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd kill myself. There is no way I'm wearing those clothes.

20) By this time next year I: Hope everything's going as well as it is right now.

21) A better name for me would be: 'Pete? (I have such a lively imagination, no?)

22) I have a hard time understanding: Why people willingly wear cheap looking plastic cloglike shoes.

23) If I ever go back to school, I'll: Study law

24) You know I like you if: I can't stop smiling when I'm around you. Um, I mean if I want to hang out with you.

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: My hair, makeup and director of photography crews.

26) I hope that: Eventually I'll marry a rich man.

27) Take my advice: Say NO to Crocs

28) My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict, toast, Buck's Fizz, a cup of tea and fresh fruit served by George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Milo Venticafelatté from Heroes and Jamie Denton.

29) A song I love but do not have is:

Take That - Relight My Fire

Lene (from Aqua) - It's Your Duty

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: You bring a book, because it's painfully boring around here.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips and track stars: Nasty tasting, compulsive, Ayo Technology and fit.

32) Why won't anyone: Believe me when I say I am innocent?

33) If you spend the night at my house: Don't even think about trying on my shoes.

34) I'd stop my wedding: If I found out he wasn't rich after all.

35) The world could do without: Crocs, Crocs, Crocs, Celine Dingdong and Beyonce.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: wear a pair of Crocs.

37) My favourite thing is: Cocktail parties, shoes and hot men.

38) Paper clips are more useful than: People give them credit for.

39) And by the way: I'd rather put pins in my eyes than watch any of the sequels to the movie Lord of the Rings.

40) The last time I was (really) drunk: I played foosball and darts (both, apparently quite poorly) with friends and waking up the next morning not knowing how I got home and feeling a little sore.

41) My grandmother always: Well she died before I was born, but my great grandmother always said the important thing in life was knowing how to cook, and finish each day with a drink.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Was it worth it?

Well, I'm back home.

I'm confused, exhausted, jetlagged and slightly depressed.

Everyone keeps asking "well, was it worth it?"

Yes it was worth it. I will be revisiting the subject soon because I've got quite a few nuggets to share. I just don't know what shape or form they take yet.