Get outta my way

It seems like forever ago I wrote my last annual review however it does feel like this year has passed by rather quickly. What's most disconcerting is that I can't remember much of it. I had to look most of it up. For instance, I can't remember the last time I read a book.

Another thing was when I took a couple of those news tests where you have to remember certain things that made the news this year. It gave me a 4/20 and a comment of "were you out of the country a lot?". Which I wasn't. I was home all year long, but I must not have paid attention. Then I took the 'celebrity scandals of 2010' test and scored 9/13. If that's a good or bad thing, I'll leave up to you to decide.

The year did just fly by, and we saw Kylie releasing a new album, Robbie rejoined Take That (and practically took over the BBC and ITV it seems) and The Black Eyed Peas went number 1 in the UK with the worst single of the year The Time (Dirty Bit).

There was also some Royal news as the Norwegian king had an affair, Prince William finally proposed to his Kate, Danish Queen Margrethe II turned 70 and Princess Mary of Denmark got pregnant again (baby expected to drop any minute now).

Let's face it, it's not really about *them* though, is it? It's about me. I can do that, this being my blog and all. So, shall we?

Book Challenge

The challenge of the last few years, was for me to read 12 books. One per month. However as I mentioned earlier, I can't remember the last time I picked up a book. So it was rather shocking for me to realise I've read 16 books!

Not all the books were mentioned here on the blog, so I'll list them all for your viewing pleasure.

My Side of the Story by Will Davis

See here

I Lick My Cheese and Other Notes: From the Frontline of Flatsharing by Oonag O'Hagan

See here

The Straight Road to Kylie by Nico Medina

See here

The Distance Between Us by Bart Yates

See here

The Sims 3: World Adventure Game Guide by Prima Games

It's a game guide, so I can become even more enlightened when it comes to the true glory of The Sims 3

The Englor Affair by JL Langley

See here

The Broken H by JL Langley

See here

Handyman by Claire Thompson

See here

The Assignment by Evangeline Anderson

See here

Lovers Who Stay With You by David MacMillian

Basically an erotic anthology with a vampire theme. Not at all my thing. I read a few of the stories but it left me a bit sick and I had nightmares. Not at all sexy.

Precious by Sapphire

See here

Being Human: The Road by Simon Guerrier

See here

Being Human: Chasers by Mark Michalowski

A sequel to the other Being Human book.

Being Human: Bad Blood by James Goss

A sequel to the other Being Human books.

Pretty in Plaid: a Life, a Witch and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomanical, Self-Centered, Smart-Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster

See here

Most were enjoyable, but I must admit that I much prefer this one.



With the success of Book Challenge 2010, I think I'll try again next year. I've got a lot of books stashed away under my bed for these cold and snowy/rainy days. In this type of weather, I find that a good movie is there to help me along. Either at the cinema or a DVD.

Movies of 2010

I love movies, and I've got a few DVDs so in order to find out what I've actually watched this year, I've had to look through my bookshelves as well as search my mind to see what I've actually watched this year. I think Hermoine was a little too thorough when she did that Obliviate spell a few weeks ago.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

The first of the last Harry Potter movies. It had a good build-up to the big climax. I still don't fancy Harry as it just seems so wrong. He's 21 but I remember him as that little boy with the round glasses. Ewww. Can't wait to see the final movie though.

Up In The Air starring George Clooney, Vera Famiga, Anna Kendrick and Jason Bateman

This was good. You'd think any movie that's nominated for Oscars would be good. Yet, I made the mistake with Sidewaysbut Up In the Air is good. George Clooney could charm his way through anything I'm sure.

Sex & the City 2 starring 'The Girls' and Liza

Everyone says this is terrible, and was even worse than the first one. I actually prefer this to the first one. Although I must say I don't much care to get Carrie'd away. She's so whiney.

The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw and Kathy Bates

I'm not into sports movies and the only reason why I watched this was because I adore Sandra Bullock. She delivers and deserved the Oscar. It's a wonderful movie about so much more than American football.

Post Grad starring Alexis Bledel, Jane Lynch, Carol Burnett and Michael Keaton

Sweet little chick flick starring Rory from Gilmore Girls about the troubles after you finish college.

Vampires Suck

Anything that mocks Twilight is alright in my book. I'm shocked it's not a Zucker Bros. movie.

The A-Team

Action/comedy starring the always hot Bradley Cooper. It's funny and action packed. I'm not sure if it's anything like the original TV show because I haven't watched that but the writing is not exactly Hemmingway or Henry James.

The Expendables

I'm not a fan of this. Hard hitting action with a touch of comedy. Basically it's an 80s rehash of all the B-movies these has beens have starred in. I do however fancy the pants off Jason Statham

Inception

I like the idea of this movie. The acting was good, and the CGI was not bad. A fan of CGI, I'm not but it worked in this. This wasn't CGI for the sake of CGI or cutting cost or saving a trip to the actual place.

Avatar

I watched this in early 2010 I think. Needless to say I didn't like this. It will be very difficult to find a more overrated and over exposed movie. EVER. I think I'd prefer to watch Twilight see my commentary on this here again. Blue creatures who run around on a planet and speak their own 13 word language for 162 minutes. No thank you. The story could have been, and probably was written on a cocktail napkin. My reason to watch this CGI travesty was the 3D. I had to see what that was like. Meh, I wasn't impressed.

My favorite is this one





I may have watched more movies that came out in 2010 but I honestly can't remember. That Hermoine is a skilled witch. Either that, or my Time Capsule is playing tricks on me.

TV Shows

I've followed 6 new TV Shows (new episodes) and 3 vintage ones. By vintage I mean old, taken off the air shows. They are as follows

Desperate Housewives

I wasn't too keen on Edie being fried and Kathrine being committed, but I still like it.

Being Human

I'm not really a vampire/werewolf kind of person, but I did think the idea of a ghost, werewolf and vampire living together trying to lead ordinary lives. It's good!

Hawaii Five-O 2010

I've never seen the original series, but this is action packed, bright, sunny and beautiful people. How can you not like that?

Bones

I'm not keen on dead people or soggy corpses/remains but I am keen on David Boreanaz and I like the chemistry between the characters.

White Collar

Matthew Boomer. Enough said.

Covert Affair

She fights crime in Christian Louboutins. Oh yes!

Dynasty (vintage)

I've got the first 5 seasons on DVD, and season 6 was just released in Denmark. I love that show. Takes me back. Shoulder pads and BIG hair galore.

The O.C.

I started recording this, and watching it on the weekend. However it never quite caught on. I spent some time mocking it a little on Twitter but it wasn't enough to keep me watching. Perhaps it was Tate Donovan who was just way too awkward and plasticy.

Beverly Hills 90210 (vintage)

I've been recording this on my box, and it's great. We've made it to episode 86 which is around the time the gang made it to college. The Dylan/Kelly romance (he should be with Dylan!) is a little rocky and Brenda had a brief stay in Minnesota.

My favourite



Dynasty



Biggest disappointment is still



From movies and TV we move onto music.

Top 4 albums I bought

I didn't buy a lot of albums this year. To be honest I don't buy a lot of music so it has to really catch my interest.

1. Kylie Minogue - Aprodite

The album contains the 3 singles All The Lovers, Get Outta My Way and the most recent Better Than Today. It's a complete hands up in the air dance pop album. Very positive and upbeat.

2. Scissor Sisters - Night Work

Contains singles Fire With Fire, Any Which Way and Invisible Light Utterly brilliant camptastic pop album. Pure joy with little nuggets of hilarity if you listen to the lyrics.

3. Hurts - Happiness

It's a bit Pet Shop Boys ish album. I like it. There's first single Wonderful Life which is just brilliant along with Better Than Love and Stay. Kylie joins Hurts for a duet on Devotion. Not really my type of album but I like it a lot.

4. Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster

I didn't buy the first version of this album, but I thought it would be fine to get this one. With all the 'old hits'. The only really awful track on it is the Telephone one with Beyonce. I'm not saying this album is amazing but it's a good 'greatest hits' album considering she's only done this one proper album she's done pretty well for herself. She's gone overboard with the styling though. When she put on that meat dress and the telephone hat, she became a caricature of herself. A bit of a joke really.

My singles top 10 of 2010

Kylie Minogue - Better Than Today (Club Junkies Remix)



I didn't quite know if I should pick Get Outta My Way (7th Heaven Remix) or this one, but I opted for this because it's a little bit overlooked brilliant.

2. Example - Kickstart



Love it!

3. Scissor Sisters - Any Which Way



Camptastic, and love the video.

4. Cheryl Cole - Parachute



Her most recent stuff doesn't really tickly my fancy but I like this. The video is gorgeous.

5. Hurts - Wonderful Life



Love it. I'm glad that I'm not one of those Hurts girls though. Not a fan with being too long under water. I prefer it a bit more sunny and lounging by the pool with a colourful umbrella cocktail.

6. Roll Deep - Good Times



I've never heard this on Danish radio or on any of our music video channels. I did however watch this on the UK Top 40 and I love it. It's so happy.

7. Robyn - Dancing On My Own



I remember this girl from the days of Do You Really Want Me. She was huge in Denmark back then, and voilà she is again. Love this song. She's quirky and not conventionally pretty. I mean that as a compliment.

8. Take That - The Flood



They were everywhere with this song, which is a shame really. I love it, but there is too much of a good thing (when we aren't talking Kylie). It's mostly just Robbie Williams feat. Take That. That's how I prefer it. The Robbieless Take That were boring.

9. Alexandra Burke - Start Without You



I like this song, but I do have to confess that the video does have something to do with it getting into my top 10.

10. Katy Perry - California Gurls



I hate to admit I like the song, but I thought this was great too.

From the best to the worst songs of 2010.

Top 3 worst songs of 2010

A lot of crap was released this year, but these 3 take the cake.

1. Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)



Quite frankly the most hideous track of 2010. I mean, if Ann Widdicombe had released a song it would still be better than this pile of shite.

2. Rihanna - What's My Name



Just no. No, no, no, we don't care.

3. Duffy - Well, Well, Well



Well, well, well... What the fuck happened to Duffy. I mean, I've never cared for her music but this is awful.

Before we end this almost epic review, we have one more thing to do..

Top 10 hottest men of 2010

1. Ryan Reynolds



2. David Boreanaz



3. George Clooney



4. Jake Gyllenhall



5. Bradley Cooper



6. Cesc Fabregas



7. Matthew Bomer



8. Chris O'Donnell



9. Zachary Quinto



10. Mark Salling



So, the annual review is over now. Happy New Year everyone (and thanks for all the holiday wishes)

Testing 1-2-3

So, last night I brought my laptop and Time Capsule along when visiting the parental unit. I also brought a bag of exotic cooking oils, marinates etc., home made biscuits, fresh home squeezed orange juice and a bottle of Mumm Champagne but that's beside the point. My point was, as it gets older by the second, I don't have actual Internet access but rather am blogging from an iPhone app. As always there's an app for that!

All I really wanted was to wish you all a very merry Christmas as my Christmas is today AND tomorrow. I've got a million things to do before then. First I'll have a glass or two of Mumm to steady myself and maybe watch this again. Bless.

Holiday mix CD 2010

I've been spending this weekend trying to figure out how to get my new Time Capsule to work. Which of course it doesn't, or sometimes and not perfectly. You'd think it would be easty to just power it up and BOOM! you've got yourself af new wireless harddrive for your laptop that also works as a router. I wish. With some jiggery pokery, I did manage to force it into working as a router, only to discover that I have to constantly register my devices including but not limited to my MacBook Pro, iPhone 3G S and an HP media center with my Internet supplier. Of course I can also only access my beloved Time Capsule from my HP media center, which makes complete sense because I haven't installed the AirPort programme that the MacBook apparently requires to set it up. Yes, I'm beyond thrilled.

So this is my first blog entry through this Time Capsule device, and if it's going to be my last you'll never know. Because of all this, I've decided to be a little festive, and steal an idea from the fabulous Tim and do a mix CD. This however will be more holiday related, so if you are all bah humbug you'll have to deal with it. The songs are not in any kind of order as to which one I like the best, although you can imagine about the first one on the list.

1. Kylie Minogue - Let it Snow

This is a new recording from Miss K and I think it's fair to say that it's pretty damn good. I first heard of it on Twitter, and then before long it was available on iTunes bundled with her delightful cover of Santa Baby (performed live at the tree lighting ceremony in NYs Rockerfeller Center 2010).



2. Mel & Kim - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

This is, to me, a classic. Probably one of the first contemporary Christmas classics I liked. It's fun, it's catchy, the video is hilarious and I liked Kim Wilde. I have memories of dancing around the Christmas tree in our hall to this song wearing a pair of grey leggings and an oversized red jumper. Good times!



Some might prefer the lovely Brenda Lee version to this though. I like that too.

3. Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone

To be honest, I had never heard this one before last year. I own quite a few Christmas albums and how this didn't make it onto any of them is just shocking! Outrageous!



How great is this!

4. Bing Crosby - White Christmas

This is probably THE Christmas classic. I adore this, and it shouldn't be covered because nothing will ever come even remotely close to it. We'eve always heard this at my parents house at Christmas. I even bought the movie White Christmas because of it. This is the essense of Christmas. Funniely enough, it looks like it'll be a white Christmas again this year.



5. Ove Sprogø - Når Du Ser Et Stjerneskud (When You Wish Upon a Star)

The Danish version of Jiminy Cricket (Jesper Fårekylling) When You Wish Upon a Star that features in the Disney From All of Us to All of You show. It's not Christmas eve before you've heard (and seen) this. They show it every year and evil bro and I used to sit and watch it with our crazy aunt. When that song came on, we knew it was not long before the big feast and then it would be time to dance around the tree and get our presents.



Sing along now. Come on everyone!

6. Nat King Cole feat. Natalie Cole - Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

This is not a song I've ever looked for, but rather one that my mother was really fond of. Sometimes these things rub off on you. It's like Sir Cliffs - Mistletoe and Wine which I am shamefully admitting to liking too. We always heard these songs for Christmas.



7. MC Einar - Det' Jul Det' Cool (it's Christmas, it's cool)

This is a late 80s early 90s Danish Christmas classic. One that I started by thinking was fun, but now it really is kool. A little dated, but kool. It's not your typical romaticising Christmas, but rather dealing with all the over consumption and greed in a very smartly sarcastic way without alienating people. You may just think it sounds weird, and if I were in your place I would have to agree. I have a memory of sitting on the loo singing it on the top of my lungs once I was home alone, and the paperboy came and he yelled at me to shut the fuck up. Of course, at that point it was June.



8. Wham - Last Christmas

There simply is no Christmas without Wham Last Christmas. Everything from the song to the video just screams perfection. I can't hear it enough. It's another song that I've danced around in grey leggings and oversized red jumpers to.



9. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby

Santa Baby has got to be the most covered Christmas song of all time. Everyone from Ally McBeal to Madonna, to The Pussycat Dolls and Taylor Swift have covered this track. Even Kylie made a delightfully sensual attempt (which I prefer to most of the other versions). Eartha Kitts version is still number one in my book. *PUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*



10. Britney Spears - My Only Wish This Year

I know. I'm not proud, but I really do like this. I ended up buying a really bad Christmas album called Platinum Christmas back in 2000 because of this one song. I tell you, the rest of the tracks from S Club 7, Steps, Monica, TLC, R Kelly to name a few were absolute crap. This song made up for the $20 it cost. CDs were very expensive back then - and still are around here.



11. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas

This is another song you just can't get around. The year it was released it was in the Danish top 10 through mid January. There was no denying it. Of course, I waited years until I bought the album. Mostly because I'm not a Mariah fan. Still, this is a delightful little holiday nugget. It's like the Pringles - once you pop you can't stop.



12. Various Danish Artists - Let Love Be Love

Probably one of the only good Danish holiday songs. This also did incredibly well on the Danish chart. It seems we (and by we, I mean everyone else) love our Danish artists. You may recognise SOAP who had that hit Soap is in the air. It's a little sappy, but that's the holidays, isn't it.



Because I'm really nice, I'll include some guilty pleasures as B-sides.

B-Side - Spice Girls - Sleigh Ride

There really are no words.



B-Side - Aqua - Spin Me a Christmas

If for nothing else, their videos are hilarious. This one too.



Until the Time Capsule works again, Merry Christmas my pretties.

My first time

This is my first. My first time.

There are a lot of firsts in ones life. Some more pleasant than others. The first time we spoke, crawled, walked, got an A in a test or on an assignment. The first time you played a computer game, jumped off the 10 meter at the local pool, wore pink, had sex, mixed wine and strong liquor, saw Paris Hiltons coochie, watched Gilmore Girls, saw Kylie live in concert and read that one book that came to mean so much to you.

It's a very long list.

I had another first on Thursday. It was very day. You see, Friday last week, I got an email from a delivery service that confirmed they would deliver my Apple kit Thursday. So, Thursday I was home around 3.30pm because the delivery boys would be by any time between 5 to 10pm. Naive as I am, I thought they'd be by pretty early because I live in the centre of town but by 8pm I was very impatient and pretty much giving up due to the snow. At least they could have called or emailed that they wouldn't deliver, I thought.

Then at 9pm they came. I must say what the delivery boy lacked in beauty, my Apple kit most certainly made up for. Everything was there, except the Time Capsule which will be delivered at some point I assume. Although there's still no news on that.  Anyway, everything is so gorgeous - even the boxes everything came in was gorgeous. There's no excess styrofoam or other junk, everything is precise and luxoriously made just like my MacBook and Apple Cinema.

After unwrapping the gorgeous equipment, I started corrupting it. Most Mac enthusiasts (fantatics?) would call it the abomination, OUTRAGEOUS! even. However, I'm not one to be playing with a Snow Leopard, you could lose a finger or worse. Being an MS Windows gay, and having been for about 15 years it's not easy to change, and you know what they say. A leopard can't change its spots, or something to that effect. Anyway, it proved pretty easy to violate the sanctity of the Snow Leopard, and my MacBook is now dancing with the devil.

Now, I just need to learn how to use it properly. You see, obviously there are no Windows keys, that's a given. However, there is no Del, End, Home or Insert keys either, and it took me a while to figure out how to work out how to correct the whole issue with the ONE button mouse/mousepad.

I promise I'll take a photo of the setup when I'm all done. I was supposed to clean my flat today, but somehow I can't find the energy and inspiration for it.

This is my first blog post I've done on this fabulous MacBook, and I'm obviously doing it from my sofa while watching the show White Collar (first time watching that!). There's just nothing bad I can say about this laptop. It's divine.

I find that I must stroke it every day, the MacBook (you filthy people!). On that note..



THE FILTH!

Now that we know the O faces of the JLS boys, how do you look at that magic moment? Please feel free, to share your photos.

When, O when will you meme?

I've been tagged. It sounds really serious, and to be honest this meme is both delightful and scary all rolled up into one.

You see, Roses wants to know what the ingredients for my secret recipe for my perfect man are.

It's difficult to say, and a little scary because first of all, I risk coming across more selfcentered and shallow that I actually am. Secondly, if I actually type it out it'll be "out there", like saying something out loud that really shouldn't be said out loud.

To be completely honest, I don't know what I want. So I've taken the approach of what I like rather than want.

I like..

• working and it would be nice to have an equal who does too, so a minimum of work related bickering is avoided.
• having nice things, and since I don't make a lot of money it would be nice if he does.
• cooking so it would be great if he doesn't but rather enjoys tidying up, cleaning and washing up.
• beauty so it would be fantastic if he was.
• nice people, so it is essential that he is nice.
• cuddling and staying in bed/snuggling up on the sofa, reading and watching movies. So it is another must that he does too. With me.
• to be anywhere but at the gym but it would be nice if he could inspire me to go and make it fun for me.
• movie history, and it would be important that he has at least some interest in movies.
• nay, adore Miss K and it would be essential that he at least, at a minimum, doesn't mind her.
• being a complete lush, and it would be essential that he likes a drink now and again and isn't an alcoholic.
• being a bitch from time to time, and it would be nice he could put me in my place now and again.
• the toilet paper under, but to be quite honest I'd take it any way he wants it.
• staying in, a lot, so it would be nice if he could (from time to time) drag me out on a Friday or Saturday night for a spot of dancing on the bar with fierce high kicks in designer heels and flashing of knuckleduster gold ring.
• frivolous things and it would be essential that he doesn't look down on that.
• I like the colour red and he should be able to deal with it.
• expensive Champagne and he should like to give me that.
• London, Las Vegas and San Francisco so taking me there from time to time would be a plus.
• I like David Boreanaz, and it most certainly couldn't hurt to look a bit like him

• singing around the house, and it would be great if he would too.
• keeping the toilet seat down and it would be greatly appreciated if this would remain down whenever he isn't using the loo.

In the end though, I could make a list that goes on forever, but I just be greatful if I found a nice guy who I love and that would love me back.

You try wearing these heels

I like beautiful things and it's not my fault that most of those are designer things. I've been told a million times, that I only love things because they were Dolce & Gabbana or Gucci or Armani. It's not my fault that they make such beautiful things though. It's also the easiest thing in the world to say, because you don't need to back that up. Then again, it's not like I owe anyone an explanation.

People who only wear certain designers and don't mix and match, are in my opinion fashion victims.

That said, I *do* like Dolce & Gabbana, Armani and Gucci. Unfortunately I just can't afford to buy a lot of it. Especially not now as I'm saving up for another trip to Las Vegas where I will most likely be buying way too many fabulous things and  seeing Miss Minogue live. It's all very up in the air still as I've saved a total of £50 as of yet and it isn't looking good. It's not that I don't try, as I do play the Lotto most weeks, and I'm just about to win the £3 million prize. I just know it!

If I did, I'd most certainly be getting pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. One must have a pair of those, and I don't. Not yet anyway but these are most certainly on the shortlist.

Christian Louboutin: Bridget's Back!

These fabulous Christian Louboutin studded peep toe ankle booties come in 3 colours

Silver


Gold



and black



Now if I only had those £1,800 times three.. Be careful, the price tag is not the only thing dangerous about wearing fabulous designer heels..

This used to be my playground

I don't go about referencing Madge much. Why would anyone? I'm certainly not going to embed the deadfully boring video on here. Anyway it seems like a fitting title, because this will be the end of an era for me. Some things end, only to have beautiful new beginnings somewhere else.

Personally I feel at home pretty much anywhere I hang my hat - or am. Moving somewhere new is not a problem for me. On the bus to work the other day, I counted and I've lived 8 (9 if you count a little move to London that didn't last long, where I stayed in a dreadful hostel) places in my life.

My family moved into my childhood home in 1975, years before I was born, so I've never experienced moving with my parents. This also means they've lived in the same house for 35 years. As my parents aren't getting any younger, they've decided to move to a gorgeous designer appartment in the center of town with a view of the (tiny) harbour, the lakes and forest. Only a stone throw from the town square, as the realtor states. This means they put their house on the market. Less than two weeks later it was sold. They've since closed the deal on the designer appartment and they are now waiting to take it over on December 1st.

Personally I couldn't care less if they sold the house. I have no feelings towards it. It is, afterall, just a house. My memories from there are also primarily bad, because it wasn't a fun time for me. Evil bro on the other hand, is miserable. He lives about 200 meters from there in his own house, and his evil spawn are often spending time at my parents house playing etc. So it'll be impractical for him, when they move.

Anyway, I was looking at the realtor website and it doesn't look like the house I grew up in. Partly because they've upgraded the house a lot since I moved out, and then of course because they've tidied up a lot and partly because realtors are magical. They can make even the crappiest shack into a fabulous mansion. Both in words and pictures.

Now, this is where the pictures are coming in. I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane with you. Remembering my childhood home. This is the overview of the house





We start by looking in the multiroom where evil bro lived for one summer before getting a flat of his own.


The only thing in this room that has changed is the content. The two boxes behind the chairs are mine. There's old books and other junk in there. The wooden chairs are going into my storage room because I'm getting the table that goes with them. Let's go to the hall.



Back when I lived at home the walls were yellow bricks, the floor had brown carpet tiles and the door was wooden. My room was up there to the left, across from my/guestbathroom and straight forward is the master bedroom.

There is no photo of my old room, I don't know why, but this is the view from my room.



My bathroom.



Notice the characteristic blue 70s tiles are still there. The bathtub is divine, and it's the only thing from there that I miss. The best thing ever was to be lounging in the bath with loads of foam, something to drink and a fashion magazine or five. I'd spend hours there. There is also a shower cabin behind the door. Somehow that's less divine.



This is the master bedroom. In the old days it had a fuzzy carpet and a weird purple type colour on the walls. Maybe it was a forest berry.



On to the master bath, which curiously enough does not have a bathtub which is ia little underwhelming if you ask me. Anyway, it does have a bidet. I grew up there, and never found out what one actually uses a bidet for. We used it to wash our feet in because it took less water to fill that than the bathtub.



This used to be my evil bros room. My parents call it the office now, but I only know it as the peach room. The curtains are hideous. Notice the door to the sun room. We (well, I only did it to piss off evil bro) used to use that door to the sun room more than the one from the living room. I guess my parents did it to try and guilt evil bro to tidy up his room. It didn't work.



From evil bros room to the living room which is quite large (but not as large as it looks on the photos). In the old days the dining table was over to the left by the black chairs.



This is where the black chairs and TV was in the old days, and we had these hideous brown curtains. I used to be scared if I was home alone and the curtains weren't drawn when it was dark outside.



In the old days the fireplace was brown bricks, and the furniture antique furniture that was inherited from my mothers mother and her family. We never sat here. Now, we find that it's the only place we sit when we are not at the dining table.



This is the sun room. It was built in 1993 I think, and it's not a place one would want to sit in winter time. It's a nice place for Sangria on a late summer evening. Not that we ever did that when I lived at home.



The kitchen. The colour of the room is awful, and before this green colour, it was orange and yellow.



The floor used to be multicoloured orange, yellow, green linolium.



The utility room which looks much larger (like all the other rooms) than it is. Notice the authentic 70s green tiles. It used to be dark.

This is the back garden.



This all used to be my playground.

On top of all this selling and buying of real estate, my dear (and odd) aunt passed away in her sleep about four weeks ago. May she rest in peace.

Re-imagining

Continued from here

['Petra's iPhone started vibrating intensely in his hand]

I'm sorry, I've got to take this. 'Petra said, holding up a hand before turning around listening to the high pitched wailing on the other end of the sleek, gorgeous, piano black iPhone. Very well, I'll be there in a second 'Petra said, turning to face the Coven elders. I've got to go, something very personal has come up. I'll be back before you know it. Sorry.

'Petra then spun around in the Louboutin heels, snapped her fingers and disappeared in a shower of glitter and sparkles.

A moment later, 'Petra was in a dingy, low lit, filthy apartment. A bedroom to be more specific, facing a woman sitting by a bed crying. 'Petra hid in a darkened corner with a box of old magazines with crossword puzzles. A policeman walked over to the woman sitting on a chair she'd covered with a newspaper. Ma'am, we need to go. We need to lock the apartment until we've determined if this was foul play. The woman turned and looked the policeman straight in the eyes, but we found her like this, she said. The policeman helped the woman up. She smoothed her Chanel skirt, wiped her eyes and walked out not saying a word.

'Petra heard the key turn in the lock and the clacking of Prada pumps walking down the stairs outside. Without hesitation, the Louboutins made it across the room, almost like the heels weren't touching the dusty and extremely dirty carpeted floor. 'Petra kneeled down on the filthy floor, and looked at the woman his mother had been hunched over. She looked so tiny, peaceful yet disturbingly pale. 'Petra reached down and wiped the hair away from the old womans forehead and mumbled an incantation.

The old woman started breathing again, opened her eyes and frowned. What on earth did you do that for?!? the old woman demanded. 'Petra looked down at the woman, who was wearing a smelly old nightgown and responded. You were dead! The old woman pulled up the dirty duvet and said, I know! Finally, I've been waiting 20 years for this and then you go waking me up to this nightmare.

'Petra frowned. You are right, it does look fairly nasty in here. Allow me to do a home improvement so we can talk. 'Petra snapped her fingers and in a shower of glitter everything in the room became clean. The chandelier glowed and the old woman stared with her mouth open. Don't get too excited, it's all an illusion darling, 'Petra said. Oh honey, you simply can't wear that old thing! 'Petra snapped her fingers again and the old woman was wearing a white silk night gown, matching silk robe and diamond earrings and necklace. The bare feet suddenly in a silver Gucci stiletto.

The old woman smiled, this is how I used to live you know, she said. 'Petra motioned the old woman to follow her. As 'Petra moved from the bedroom to through the hall, dining room and stopping in the lounge snapping her fingers on the way. Everything transformed. The dirty carpets turned into gorgeous wood and marble flooring, wallpaper was repaired and cleaned, chandeliers aglow and sparkly, furniture sparkling clean and the air clean and fresh. The high ceilings, stuccowork and paneled walls looked like it had in it's heyday 20 years earlier. It looked amazing, and just like 'Petra remembered.

The old woman looked misty eyed at the transformation. I'm so embarrassed of how it turned out, she said. Referring to the old sick that had been in the corner by the bathroom door. It had been covered by a bit of newspaper but the old woman couldn't get down that low to clean it up. Actually, it was in her head. She thought, she couldn't get down that low without risk of falling. It was tragic, but this wasn't the reason 'Petra had come. The old woman looked around for something to drink. Being dead had made her a bit thirsty. Again, without a word 'Petra snapped her fingers and a tray consisting of nibbles, two martini glasses and a pitcher of martini appeared.

Martini? 'Petra offered. Oh sorry, I forgot. 'Petra snapped her fingers again and a bottle of Moët appeared along with two Champagne flutes. I must have inherited my taste of Champagne from you dear Auntie. They clinked their crystal glasses and took a sip. We don't have that long, but I thought I'd come and pay my final respects in person, 'Petra said smiling.

Eloise smiled, it's alright dear. I'll miss you most of all. You were always my favorite, although you stopped calling. I realise I'd stopped living 20 years ago, and I wasn't that fun to be around. 'Petra put a hand on her aunts and smiled wickedly. When you started drinking wine out of cardboard boxes, and put up those hideously orange curtains, I had to say stop. There would be no recovering from that, Eloise.

The old woman chuckled. We had a good run though, didn't we? You used to vacation here all the time, begging to join my dinner parties. Back in the day, playing Draughts, solving puzzles, playing cards and drinking Champagne. I knew you were special 'Petra. A 10 year old who thinks Champagne tasts divine - that's a keeper in my book. Eloise wiped a tear from her eye, and smiled. I'm sorry I let it all go. I had my problems.

'Petra took a sip of Champagne. It's not your fault though, Eloise, you couldn't help it. Nobody could have foreseen you falling in love with a married man. Especially not one who 10 years down the line, would die only weeks before his divorce was final. Let alone one who was divorcing one of the most powerful dark witches in the area. I can taste the curse in the air. The b-uh-witch cursed you! 'Petra couldn't believe she hadn't sensed it before. Elosie shook her head, no matter she said, wiping a tear from 'Petras face with one of her perfectly manicured hands.

Was that the red nail varnish Vicious Tramp? 'Petra couldn't help but wonder. No matter, it was all fine. It was done, nothing could be changed. Errrr.. Auntie? May I ask you a question? Eloise, arched a brow and looked expectantly at her, niece? nephew? Oh, who cared with labels these days. 'Petra looked apologetically at her aunt and asked. What's the real story about all those men that came to your door when you looked upstairs from grandmother and grandfather? Eloise chuckled. Oh how could you not know this. I thought your dear mother had filled you in, but no matter. I will tell you the real story.

It was another time back then, and I'd just moved out of your grand parents apartment. Through my work at the criminal courts office, I'd gotten to know a lot of policemen. They would come up for visits and I may have been playing the field a little too much in my fathers opinion, Eloise explained. I also happened to meet a very nice sailor who I took a liking to. We had an affair and people in the building started talking. This is why my father took me aside and told me to act proper. A few years later I met my married man, and the rest as they say is history.

'Petra was intrigued but didn't push it any further. Instead she poured another glass of Moët for them both, and they clinked glasses. To death, Eloise said smiling wickedly. I remember two things from a few years ago, 'Petra said. Things that I'll forever smile when I'm reminded of. Eloise frowned a little, I'm not sure I'll like what you are about to remember, she said.

The most vivid memory is when Mrs. Maxwell upstairs died and the handymen broke the floor and your ceiling, Eloise. You didn't want them to come in and fix it, and told them you'd take care of it. Then finding out, after they'd left for the weekend that your entire bathroom was filled with dust and rubble. That was not the worst part though. Then come Monday, they handymen were back, and you didn't want to go to the loo when they could be ogling you from up there. What's a woman to do, but squatting over a bucket in the bedroom. This was only part of it, you then poured your liquids into the kitchen sink..

Eloise looked a little embarrassed, but recovered quickly by raising her glass and toasted. To an old womans silliness! They clinked.

'Petra continued, this time with another silly tale. I remember being told of how you'd gone to the grocery store and bought apples, creme cheese and a cardboard carton of wine. Then just as you are about to step into the building, you fell over backwards and sat on the bag - and wine! Thankfully, someone saw you and helped you up to your apartment also bringing the bag with you. Of course the bag was now leaking red wine, and so you thrust a roll of kitchen towels into her hand and told her to go clean it up. The way it was told to me, made it sound very funny.

Eloise smiled a little again. I remember that, I was so embarrassed and had to get rid of the woman she said.

I on the other hand remember taking you out to lunch 'Petra. You were about 8, a very mature 8. I ordered us open sandwiches, and mine were roastbeef and other 'adult' varieties. When they brought yours in, we both stared at the plate mouths agape. Do you remember what the third sandwich was, 'Petra? 'Petra smiled from ear to ear. Yes, I do, 'Petra answered, it was buttered white bread with thin slices of chocolate and banana on top. I don't think I'd ever eaten anything that gross before. Eloise smiled, you didn't eat it though. I remember you throwing a hissy fit at the waiter who brought you an entirely new plate identical to the one I had. 'Petra chuckled, sounds like me but I don't remember that.

The two sat there, enjoying the Champagne. It was nice, 'Petra thought. Just like in the old days. The light in the chandelier started flickering and 'Petra knew it was time. She looked at Eloise, and Eloise frowned slightly. It's time, isn't it? Well, let's go then 'Petra.

'Petra walked Eloise back to the bedroom, the rooms behind them turning dark and dirty again. Eloise, laid on the bed and pulled the crisp silky sheets up to her neck and smiled. Thank you for giving me a little extra time 'Petra. 'Petra kissed Eloise on the forehead and they said their goodbyes. Then 'Petra snapped her fingers again, and Eloise laid there, cold and peaceful again, the room surrounding the two also back to it's dark and dreadful state. 'Petra wiped a tear from her eye, and snapped her fingers again, and in a shower of glitter and sparkles returned to the other Coven members here, one second after she'd gone.

Only this time, wearing a gorgeous black Gucci cloak.

You're on in 5 Miss 'Petra

Hello?
No, this is her assistant. Miss 'Petra is not available at the moment.
Oh.. very well, I'll get her.

Assistant: Miss 'Petra ? I'm terribly sorry to interrupt but you've got a phone cal..
Miss 'Petra: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SHOOTING MY NEW VIDEO?
Assistant: But it's *THE* call

Oh just give me my iPhone Sarah, exclaimed Miss 'Petra.

Hello?
5 minutes?
Doesn't give me much time to change
Right, of course they weren't
Thank you darling
See you in 5

Who was that? asked Sarah who was Miss 'Petras assistant. Miss 'Petra smiled wickedly at Sarah and yelled "ENTOURAGE ASSEMBLE NOW!"
Once the beauty team had assembled they were instructed, "I need to get out of the dress and these light gloves".

Everyone scrampered along and Miss 'Petra was finally freed from the wire prison before following her stylist into her dressing room.

We have two minutes to find something that goes with this hair, and these nails, Miss 'Petra said. Something glamorous, because this is a very special event.

Something long and floaty, with thigh high slits perhaps? That's it! That green Michael Kors is hideous Jon. Burn it or find another job! Miss 'Petra said before putting on the dress.

It's almost time! Sarah screamed running in and pushing a pair of Christian Louboutins into Miss 'Petras arms along with the iPhone.

Miss 'Petra hurriedly put the iPhone in silent mode, got into the Louboutins and in a shower of glitter & sparkles she disappeared..

only to reappear slightly jetlagged but ever so poised in front of two very lovely Coven elders here.

Apple hoor

Around five years ago I bought my first Apple product. It was an iPod Shuffle and I loved it. Of course I was a huge step for me to buy something from Apple. To be honest, I had this hate relationship with Apple products. They weren't proper computers, and they weren't nearly as good as the proper PC's. What was worse, was that they weren't compatible with anything non-Apple. That was probably the biggest issue for me.

At the end of the day, getting an iPod Shuffle wouldn't be a huge deal. After all it was just an mp3 player and it worked with a proper PC. I eventually made the decision to get one, and by goddess Kylie I loved it! It was gorgeous, dependable and easy to use.

It must have been fate, that my iPod passed away shortly before the iPhone was launched here in Denmark. I signed up for the iPhone because it seemed like the best thing since sliced bread. Also I never thought it was going to catch on here. You see, we are like Nokia country (despite Nokia being from Finland) and the iPhone was so pricey. I hate being on the bandwagon when it comes to new stuff, and I weren't really because I'd decided to get one long before it was launched here. Anyway, they skipped the regular iPhone and jumped straight to the iPhone 3G, and I got one. From day one, I loved it!

From then on, I got my current iPhone which is the 3G S model and I love that even more. If that is possible. It is in fact, the best thing since sliced bread! Apparently my talking about the iPhone got my brother to ditch his Blackberry (which he hated with a passion by the way) and get an iPhone. The phone has made me a little more open to Apple products combined with the fact that you CAN actually get Windows OS so you aren't stuck with the Apple one. Whatever that's called.

Now every year around this time, the corporation I work for issue a selection of products and deals that are paid for by your salary before taxes. The Danish tax system allows this, and since I pay 40% tax of all my income it's quite lucrative. Every year I've chosen to buy shares in the company this way.

This year they've included computers in the selection and I have been looking through the list feel like it's time for something nice. A treat if you will. Unlike the deal with buying shares in the corporation, this computer deal is not a one year deal. The computers are paid for over two years, kind of like a leasing agreement where after the two years are up, you are asked if you want to buy it. The purchase price would be one or two installments at the end of the two years.

Anyway, I've looked at the selection and decided which stuff to get. Since I've practically become an Apple hoor thanks to Tim. Well at least he nudged me ever closer to the joys that are the pretty Apple products. I've come to the decision to get these things

1. Macbook Pro 15" i7 2.66 Ghz



2. Apple Time Capsule 1 Tb



3. Apple Cinema 27"



4. and because I'm not completely sold on Apple software, Windows 7 for Mac.

Oh, and possibly a mouse? I am not sure if I should get one for the MacBook Pro.

Anyway I won't be getting the goodies until next year though so I'll be acting like a 5 year old until then.

In slightly more anticlimactic news, I can show you the more precise location of THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS and their journey towards Mr. Donn.

September 28, 2010 10:35 PM Ready for transport to Canada
September 29, 2010 10:53 AM Sent to Canada
October 1, 2010 04:11 PM Arrived in Canada
October 7, 2010 05:31 AM Arrived at distributionscenter Canada
October 7, 2010 12:00 PM Addressee advised to pick up item
October 7, 2010 12:30 PM Addressee being notified

It's all very exciting stuff!

When in doubt, add more chocolate syrup

The always wonderful Tara has published the schedule for October here and you should definately check it out. Check.It.Out.

Why? Because today is Janet Leigh day! If any of you start saying Janet Leigh who? Then I will just shake my head and go away to die. Possibly in the shower. I've only watched af few of the things she's done though

- Little Women - with Liz Taylor
- Psycho which I actually bought on special edition DVD
- Murder She Wrote - yes she was in one episode with Dame Aggie.
- Family Law - she was in one episode of this as well. Liked that show.

On top of that, I can mention that she was in: The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Bye Bye Birdie and more recently Halloween H20: 20 years later.
She also guested these TV shows: Love Story, Columbo, Fantasy Island, two episodes of The Love Boat playing two different characters, The Twilight Zone and Touched By An Angel

All just to name a few of her 85 appearances.

She passed away this very day 6 years ago in Beverly Hills at the age of 77.

This very day many moons ago, was also the day my parents got married. Strangely enough only a couple of days before my grandfathers death. Shotgun wedding or..



The sounds get to me every time. Miss Leigh, you are greatly missed!

EDIT: I've also learned today that Piggy of Piggy and Tazzy has passed away. He too will be greatly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with Tazzy and all their loved ones.

Bittersweet goodbye

It's been a good few years we've had, but it was time for me to say my final goodbyes.


We said hello


We cooked


We had drinks


We cleaned


We washed


We violated religious art


We clashed with our surroundings


We stepped back in time


Then after living together for years it was time to let you go.

Stains, mysterious smells and odd sounds aside, I've had a blast with you. Which is why, it's taken me this long to ship THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS off to their new wearer and competition winner Donn.

In case the memory escapes you, it's possible to relive most of the adventures I've had with THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS here.

The shorts are now safely (hopefully, as they aren't insured) on their way to Donn as seen below.

September 28, 2010 10:35 PM Ready for transport to Canada
September 29, 2010 10:53 AM Sent to Canada

In the meantime we can all enjoy a few deleted scenes from THE FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS stay with me.