Retro poptastica

I know you probably don't, but I do. I remember Sabrina too famous for last names Salerno. You see, I was skipping along to the joyous and careless beats of my not quite working trusty iPhone when all of a sudden an old italia dance classic popped on and there I was. Transported back to a time that for the most part wasn't very happy if it hadn't been to the cheerful 80s pop divas.

As we step back in time, I thought we'd just have a quick look at this particular superstar and her career. A word of warning, there'll be German dubbing as well, and you may not understand it all. You will however get a quick look at this multi talented girl.



If that wasn't enough, you can see a proper American segment here.

Sabrina Salerno is a STAR of Silvio Berlusconi's TV channels RaiUno and used to bless us with these magical videos.

Here's the hit record My Chico



or how about the runaway hit Like a Yo Yo



Or the fabulous and second hit single Hot Girl (PWL remix) from her first album



However, we all remember her European number one debut single Boys (Summertime Love)



That being a live version and proving why, oh why we here at SayHey still adore love Sabrina Salerno. Hot dancers, dodgy dancing, roaring night club crowd and bad English accents. What's not to love?

You'd think that was all she can do, but you would be oh so very wrong. She acts too. She starred in many films and you can see the list here. Included on the list is the movie Delirium aka. Le Foto di Gioia. I happened to watch it a few years ago, and it was very 80s camptastic. See Sabrina Salerno's performance below



Did I mention that none of this is safe for work? No? Sorry.

To sum it all up. We here at SayHey LOVE Sabrina Salerno



Did I forget to mention that I have a very large collection of her albums and singles on vinyl, tape and CDs?

Holiday mix CD 2010

I've been spending this weekend trying to figure out how to get my new Time Capsule to work. Which of course it doesn't, or sometimes and not perfectly. You'd think it would be easty to just power it up and BOOM! you've got yourself af new wireless harddrive for your laptop that also works as a router. I wish. With some jiggery pokery, I did manage to force it into working as a router, only to discover that I have to constantly register my devices including but not limited to my MacBook Pro, iPhone 3G S and an HP media center with my Internet supplier. Of course I can also only access my beloved Time Capsule from my HP media center, which makes complete sense because I haven't installed the AirPort programme that the MacBook apparently requires to set it up. Yes, I'm beyond thrilled.

So this is my first blog entry through this Time Capsule device, and if it's going to be my last you'll never know. Because of all this, I've decided to be a little festive, and steal an idea from the fabulous Tim and do a mix CD. This however will be more holiday related, so if you are all bah humbug you'll have to deal with it. The songs are not in any kind of order as to which one I like the best, although you can imagine about the first one on the list.

1. Kylie Minogue - Let it Snow

This is a new recording from Miss K and I think it's fair to say that it's pretty damn good. I first heard of it on Twitter, and then before long it was available on iTunes bundled with her delightful cover of Santa Baby (performed live at the tree lighting ceremony in NYs Rockerfeller Center 2010).



2. Mel & Kim - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

This is, to me, a classic. Probably one of the first contemporary Christmas classics I liked. It's fun, it's catchy, the video is hilarious and I liked Kim Wilde. I have memories of dancing around the Christmas tree in our hall to this song wearing a pair of grey leggings and an oversized red jumper. Good times!



Some might prefer the lovely Brenda Lee version to this though. I like that too.

3. Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone

To be honest, I had never heard this one before last year. I own quite a few Christmas albums and how this didn't make it onto any of them is just shocking! Outrageous!



How great is this!

4. Bing Crosby - White Christmas

This is probably THE Christmas classic. I adore this, and it shouldn't be covered because nothing will ever come even remotely close to it. We'eve always heard this at my parents house at Christmas. I even bought the movie White Christmas because of it. This is the essense of Christmas. Funniely enough, it looks like it'll be a white Christmas again this year.



5. Ove Sprogø - Når Du Ser Et Stjerneskud (When You Wish Upon a Star)

The Danish version of Jiminy Cricket (Jesper Fårekylling) When You Wish Upon a Star that features in the Disney From All of Us to All of You show. It's not Christmas eve before you've heard (and seen) this. They show it every year and evil bro and I used to sit and watch it with our crazy aunt. When that song came on, we knew it was not long before the big feast and then it would be time to dance around the tree and get our presents.



Sing along now. Come on everyone!

6. Nat King Cole feat. Natalie Cole - Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

This is not a song I've ever looked for, but rather one that my mother was really fond of. Sometimes these things rub off on you. It's like Sir Cliffs - Mistletoe and Wine which I am shamefully admitting to liking too. We always heard these songs for Christmas.



7. MC Einar - Det' Jul Det' Cool (it's Christmas, it's cool)

This is a late 80s early 90s Danish Christmas classic. One that I started by thinking was fun, but now it really is kool. A little dated, but kool. It's not your typical romaticising Christmas, but rather dealing with all the over consumption and greed in a very smartly sarcastic way without alienating people. You may just think it sounds weird, and if I were in your place I would have to agree. I have a memory of sitting on the loo singing it on the top of my lungs once I was home alone, and the paperboy came and he yelled at me to shut the fuck up. Of course, at that point it was June.



8. Wham - Last Christmas

There simply is no Christmas without Wham Last Christmas. Everything from the song to the video just screams perfection. I can't hear it enough. It's another song that I've danced around in grey leggings and oversized red jumpers to.



9. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby

Santa Baby has got to be the most covered Christmas song of all time. Everyone from Ally McBeal to Madonna, to The Pussycat Dolls and Taylor Swift have covered this track. Even Kylie made a delightfully sensual attempt (which I prefer to most of the other versions). Eartha Kitts version is still number one in my book. *PUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*



10. Britney Spears - My Only Wish This Year

I know. I'm not proud, but I really do like this. I ended up buying a really bad Christmas album called Platinum Christmas back in 2000 because of this one song. I tell you, the rest of the tracks from S Club 7, Steps, Monica, TLC, R Kelly to name a few were absolute crap. This song made up for the $20 it cost. CDs were very expensive back then - and still are around here.



11. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas

This is another song you just can't get around. The year it was released it was in the Danish top 10 through mid January. There was no denying it. Of course, I waited years until I bought the album. Mostly because I'm not a Mariah fan. Still, this is a delightful little holiday nugget. It's like the Pringles - once you pop you can't stop.



12. Various Danish Artists - Let Love Be Love

Probably one of the only good Danish holiday songs. This also did incredibly well on the Danish chart. It seems we (and by we, I mean everyone else) love our Danish artists. You may recognise SOAP who had that hit Soap is in the air. It's a little sappy, but that's the holidays, isn't it.



Because I'm really nice, I'll include some guilty pleasures as B-sides.

B-Side - Spice Girls - Sleigh Ride

There really are no words.



B-Side - Aqua - Spin Me a Christmas

If for nothing else, their videos are hilarious. This one too.



Until the Time Capsule works again, Merry Christmas my pretties.

Special price for you my friend

This is a two for the price of one, just for you my pretties. As I sit here in this awful heat with my lemon drop feeling very Socks in the City with my laptop. It would have been much more authentic had it not been for one of those retarded American Pie movies (I think this is number 5) on TV. I think I'll put on some Sex & the City. That will take this from crass to class.

Right where were we, and where did my lemon drop go?

This is one of those dreadful meme posts. First one comes from facebook where a certain Mr. Tim tagged me. So without further ado, I give you

A-Z of me
You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the ABC's of YOU.

A - Age: 29 give or take a couple of years (more give than take though, I'm afraid)

B - Bed size: A double.

C - Chore you hate: Cleaning and tidying up. You see, I am missing that gene. It skipped a generation, as my mother is a complete neat freak.

D - Dog's name: I don't have a dog. Growing up my evil bro had a dachshund called Pjevs. He hated me. The dog, although I'm thinking the same went for my evil bro.

E - Essential start your day item: Water, water, water. That and a dab or two of Inverse by Kylie Minogue

F - Favorite color(s): I love red. Red, black and silver. But I really like most happy bright colours except for yellow and orange.

G - Gold or Silver: Silver.

H - Height: Pretty average (I hate that word) really.

I - Instruments you play: I don't play any instruments. I hated everyone at school, but I did sign up for guitar lessons however too few people signed up for it and nothing came of it. Would like to be able to play the piano though.

J - Job title: According to the online dictionary, I'm a trained Office Clerk. What I do now, is make sure people keep up their car payments and if they don't, I take their cars. I love my job!

K - Kid(s): Ewww. Never!

L - Living arrangements: A rented top floor 74 sq meter flat.

M - Mom's name: Ida

N - Nicknames: A colleague of mine called me Pistol Pete in an email last week, and on here people call me 'Petra and CyberPoof. Personally I prefer Pete.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I've never (knock wood) spent the night in the hospital. Well except for when I was delivered (by a storck obviously)

P - Pet Peeve: Knuckle cracking, people who wear their trousers down their ankles, socks in sandals, Crocs, Uggs, ankle socks in stilettos, ballerina slippers

Q - Quote from a movie: "No wire hangers, ever!" Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest (1981)

R - Right or left handed: Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosy (I learned that from Luke on Gilmore Girls)



S - Siblings: Jens

T - Time you wake up: Ideally around 7am but I go in early these days, so it's more like 6.

U - Underwear: Preferably Dolce & Gabbana (of late I do appreciate Ralph Lauren and I'm quite ashamed about that as I don't trust American designers) but as my pocketbook is a little slim these days Sloggi will have to do.

V - Vegetable you dislike: Is a salad a vegetable? Because I truely HATE Ruccola with a passion. Whoever made that must be in liege with the devil. I also dislike broccoli and brussle sprouts.

W - Workout style: As little and for as short a time as possible.

X - X-rays you've had: I've had a few of my teeth, and my ankles (sprained them a lot when I was a kid - clutz that's me hi!) and when I broke my arm when I was 4. I don't remember breaking my arm, but I've seen the photos.

Y - Yesterday's best moment: Watching Glee or making and eating a wonderful chocolate cake without flour. The chocolate cake won out.

Z - Zoo favorite: I've been to quite a few of those. When I was in San Diego Zoo last year I thought I'd be going gaga for the Panda Bears but they were quite snooty and off putting. My favorite was the Polar Bear. I tell you, one look at one of those and all the energy I was lacking was restored. Loved it! The lion at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas was pretty cute too.

Now, for the bonus feature. The meme from IDV who wants to know these 10 things about me.

1. What's your earliest memory?

The other day I had a flash memory of my father reading to me. I don't know how old I was at the moment, but I must have been younger than 5.

2. What was the last thing you ate?

San Mazano tomatos

3. Would you support a comeback by Steps?

Yes, probably. I did welcome the comeback of Bananarama



Up until I heard their stuff, that is.

4. What is your dream car?



5. How tall are you?

See my answer in the ABC above.

6. Margaret Thatcher vs Queen Elizabeth II: Who would win and why/how?

That's difficult isn't it. They are both iron lizzers uh, I mean ladies. Obviously. Probably Liz though, because she's got the scepter to hit people with and if they are too far away she'll just throw the orb. Plus, she met Gaga.



7. Mama Cass died choking on a sandwich. What sandwich filling would you happily choke on?

Roastbeef



8. Has a pick-up line ever worked for you? If so, what was it? If not, what was the worst reaction?

Not unless "hi" etc. are pick-up lines. I did come up with some funny pun once, and the guy just turned around and walked away. I was relieved.

9. You find yourself inexplicably cloned, barely wearing something sexy, and gagging for it. You would, wouldn't you?! Just out of curiosity, or maybe for some other reason?

What kind of question is that!?! Oh, my god! I wouldn't no. We wouldn't be compatible.

10. How did you find this [IDVs] blog? Go on, indulge me!

It's been soooo many years since, but probably through Glitter For Brains? Then it was either IDV or Lee who introduced me to Tims blog.

Sayhey Lovefilm presents: Not-so-live-blogging G.I. Joe Rise of the Cobra

Another one of my Lovefilm.dk rentals. I already hear you ask why oh why? First of all

Enough said! In case you don't think so, I will list the other (less significant) reasons behind my choice to watch this blockbuster action movie about the all American hero.

1. (technically this should be no 2) Christopher Eccleston or Ecclescake as some people like to call him. I mean, did you not see him play psychopath in Shallow Grave? He is a great actor and I like his ears. Plus he was my first Doctor.
2. Jonathan Pryce as he is always ready with a camp performance like his villian part on that dreadful James Bond movie (possibly the worst ever) Tomorrow Never Dies although I blame that solely on Teri Hatchers abysman performance.
3. Arnold Vosloo as you can't help but love him. He's been in everything from Charmed to Red Shoe Diaries (you know, tee-hee!) through to The Mummy, all the sequels and 24 and Chuck. We, here at Sayhey, simply heart him.
4. We love any movie based on comic books or childhood toys like Transformers, Spiderman, Fantastic Four and X-Men. However, we HATE Barbie movies with a passion.
5. Mediocre American action movies are usually campy and fun
6. Did I mention Channing Tatum?

That said, I watched it. While there are definately things about it that weren't very good. Like the CGI and a fair bit of the acting, I still liked it a lot. I may have to buy the DVD when it hits the bargain bins. There really isn't much better than a camp B rated action movie with a lot of totty (with their tops off). Is there? Anyway while I have already watched it, I still think it would be a good idea to give you the run down on what it's like. Step by step. Remember, we do it so you don't (or also) have to. Ladies and gentlemen (and those inbetween) I give you, G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra (like they had to put that in the title)

0.00.20 Paramount Pictures! I actually drove into their lot when I was in LA last summer. Big deal, because we hadn't booked a tour with them. So I was allowed to drive in through the main gates and drive around this flower bed thing and drive back out. It totally made my day, although I was a little disappointed to learn that we had to book in advance.

0.01.10 Oh, a backstory from France 1641.

0.02.13 Oh painful! Very hot metal mask put onto the face of a man. OUCH! He can't have lived long with that on his face.

0.02.48 Yay! Present day and Christopher Eccleston! He's telling the plot right there. Nanomites that eat metal.

0.04.16 Enter Channing Hottie Tatum. Yum! Oh and first joke. Hah-hah! A bit campy.

0.05.37 Channing Tatum is named Duke, and his lips are so sexy

0.06.16 CGI alert!

0.06.38 Uh-oh! Something is wrong.

0.07.00 I know, I know. It's bad CGI!

0.07.33 You are not making it any better dears.

0.08.00 Channing Tatum does all he can to make it all better by yelling.

0.08.40 Incoming! More bad CGI

0.09.07: Strange fighters and leather/latex clad Sienna Miller shows up. They sure as hell aren't trying to cover up that she's the bad guy now. Cliché overload.

0.09.23 I usually don't like Sienna Miller, but this is just camp enough for her to fit right in.

0.10.16 Sienna Miller spots Channing Tatum with her fancy shades. She looks troubled. What is this all about, you may think. Or you already know. I think you do.

0.10.28 Channing Tatum goes after Sienna Miller and they talk. Instead of killing him she just slaps him and he calls her Anna.

0.11.18 G. I. JOE to the rescue! Oh, sorry, we aren't supposed to know that yet. Or are we?

0.12.06 Channing Tatum runs after Sienna Miller and more bad CGI before Sienna Miller flies away empty handed.

0.12.57 Channing Tatum meets the G. I. Joes and Dennis Quaid. Heh. Channing Tatum gets bitchy.

0.14.12 Channing Tatum and his friend Marlon Wayans go with the G. I. Joes. There is a a silent man in a solid plastic outfit. The Chan man wants in on it.

0.15.21 Hilariously overdone CGI effects. Bless them for trying too hard.

0.16.24 Introduction to the Joes and they make joke. When everyone fails, we don't. Hah. Clever.

0.17.11 Yay! Eccleston is back. I love his accent.

0.18.06 Eccleston is a hologram thingy and now he's back in where ever he is. Eccleston is the bad guy. Yay!

0.19.45 Sienna Millers glasses are kool. I would wear those.

0.20.09 Yay! Arnold Vosloo! We like him.

0.20.21 More bad CGI and the introduction of the cobra. The snake freaks me out. Get that away now!

0.21.26 The snake may be CGI but that looked fairly real. Ewwww!

0.23.11 The Joe's have no idea who Sienna Miller is, but Channing knows and is about to blackmail himself onto the team.

0.24.16 There we go. Sienna Miller is a baroness now. Nice outfit.

0.25.40 Meet Storm Shadow! He is annoying.

0.26.08 Flashback to four years ago in Washington where the Chan man proposes to Sienna Miller. He looks great in his uniform. Mmmmmm.

0.27.10 Sienna Miller has a brother, and Channing promises to keep him safe while at war.

0.28.00 Back to present time, and they suit up Channing and Marlon Wayans in Robocopesque suits.

0.29.05 They now train to be Joes.

0.29.30 Hey! Was that Brendan Fraser as an instructor? He looked a bit like it.

0.30.01 Marlon Wayans keeps making passes at kool redheaded Joe girl. Stupid jokes ensue.

0.31.25 They are Joes! And now there is the Marlon and Channing half naked in the gym scene. Mmmmmm. Worth every second.

0.31.46 Marlon Wayans tries his pickup lines on kool redhead Joe girl. She's kool. And Channing in the background on the jump ropes half naked. Yum!

0.32.49 Something is wrong. Somethings going to happen.

0.33.30 Oh! They've come for the nanomites! Sienna Miller and Storm Shadow with their team of nanomite soldiers.

0.34.10 And Arnold Vosloo.

0.34.31 Inventive way of killing someone! All the way through one of those electronic thingies that the postservice use for signatures.

0.35.20 Alarma! Lot's of carnage! I love it!

0.36.06 OK, bad CGI for sure, but it's still kool!

0.36.40 Channing is faced with Sienna Miller and Storm Shadow is in the background. He can't shoot her.

0.37.24 Things explode and then flashback to Storm Shadown and black plastic Joe that doesn't speak when they were kids.

0.38.42 Sienna Miller and kool redhead Joe girl fights. I love it!

0.39.49 Bad CGI but it's all good!

0.40.08 The bad guys have the nanomite warheads.

0.40.32 More half naked Channing Tatum. Me likey!

0.41.21 Marlon Wayans makes a reference to something that was said earlier and turns into a bad joke. It's a little funny for all the wrong reasons.

0.42.09 New flashback to Storm Shadow and black plastic silent Joes past. They fight. Storm Shadow doesn't like black plastic silent Joe. Even back then.

0.43.21 Storm Shadows sensei is nice to black plastic silent Joe.

0.44.06 Christopher Eccleston tells his plans to Sienna Miller and Storm Shadow. They are going to Paris to arm a warhead.

0.44.42 Arnold Vosloo! YAY! Ewww nasty needles in head. Yikes! They are turning him into Jonathan Pryce I think.

0.45.45 The Joes find out the plan of Christopher Eccleston, or at least what we can only imagine is the first part of the plan.

0.46.37 Flashback from Channing Tatum to the time where Sienna Millers brother died in the war. He was investigating something in a lab but the airstrike is early and BOOOOOOOM!

0.48.55 Channing Tatum watches the funeral of Sienna Millers brother from afar. Astride his motorcycle looking really hot. BAM! Back to reality!

0.49.49 Sienna Miller makes a joke. It's a little funny, and her and Storm Shadow makes her husband weaponise the warheads.

0.50.49 The Joes are in Paris and looking for the bad guys.

0.51.34 Massive CGI effects on weaponising warheads. They are all weaponised.

0.52.06 Storm Shadow kills Sienna Millers husband and they leave the laboratory.

0.52.40 Massive car chase. We love it! Men in Robocopesque suits running around and jokes.

0.53.45 Bad CGI alert - lot's of it. You can just see it's all done on green screen.

0.55.03 The Joes finally figure out the bad guys are going to detonate a warhead on the Eiffel Tower. I mean D'OH! But I still think it's enjoyable.

0.56.45 I love Paris. I want to go there again someday

0.56.59 "Try this on for size boys". The way Sienna Miller says that, is pretty damn perfect. It's so camp, I love it!

0.57.45 Hah, funny! Marlon Wayans is comic relief.

0.58.32 OOOOOH! Train collision! Me likey. 'Tis fun!

0.59.37 Oh, oh! Bad guys on foot.

1.00.25 "Nice shoes" yeah, Sienna Miller both kicks arse and notices the shoes of the extras.

1.01.54 The Eiffel Tower is hit! The Joes did not do their job alright. The CGI is really over the top.

1.03.18 Channing Tatum saves Paris by hitting the kill switch. Eiffel Tower collapses

1.05.22 The Joes are arrested by Parisian police.

1.06.05 Jonathan Pryce has a great voice

1.07.16 Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller bicker and Storm Shadow has flashback to when he killed his sensei.

1.08.25 Oh, black silent plastic Joe is called Snake Eyes.

1.08.58 Bad CGI

1.10.05 The Joes have figured out where McCullen's base. Bad joke by Frenchie

1.10.39 Channing Tatum is being taken to the base and he steals the case with the warheads and he activates a tracking beacon. Channing Smarty pants.

1.11.40 The bad guys don't notice.

1.12.03 The base is underneath the polar icecap very CGI'ey

1.12.36 Oh oh, Ecclescake! He kisses Sienna Miller who has flashbacks

1.14.02 Dennis Quaid asks the Joes to defy direct orders and go take down McCullen, and they all agree.

1.15.15 Meet the Doctor. Heh, well you may as well know, he's the Cobra. There, I spoiled it for you.

1.15.58 I love polar bears. I hope it wasn't hurt by the massive CGI thingy that just flew in

1.17.03 Doctor is about to inject nanomites into Channing Tatum while he tells him the story of himself. He shows us, that he is Sienna Millers brother.

1.18.05 Flashback to what happened to Sienna Millers brother in the lab in the war. He meets someone who looks like Dennis Miller. I wonder if they are related in real life. Hmmm. It's not Dennis Miller though, I checked. Never heard of the guy.

1.19.40 Christopher Eccleson launches the missiles with the nanomites. What to do?

1.20.10 Marlon Wayans to the rescue! He is to hunt down the missiles in an ultra fancy fighter plane.

1.21.16 Redhead kool girl Joe kisses Marlon Wayans.

1.22.03 Sienna Miller saves Channing Tatum from being injected with nanomites and her brother threatens Channing Tatum with killing her.

1.22.33 Redhead kool girl Joe is called Scarlet. Hmmm, a little late for that kind of info?

1.24.08 Underwater CGI fight. It's not at all engaging but it's OK.

1.25.20 Action baby! Action!

1.27.00 Channing Tatum to Sienna Miller "I'm gonna get you outta here"

1.28.20 Marlon Wayans saves Moscow.

1.28.45 Meet Arnold Vosloo again. He's become Jonathan Pryce. Tee-hee! Very Mission Impossiblesque

1.30.08 Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes (you know, black plastic silent Joe) fight it out.

1.31.39 Channing Tatum is getting away with Sienna Miller. Lots of underwater CGI

1.32.14 Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes battle it out still and an abundance of CGI

1.32.44 Storm Shadow is fit!

1.33.05 Marlon Wayans missed a missile and they are in big trouble.

1.34.28 Rest in peace fit Storm Shadow (at the bottom of the sea)

1.35.04 More CGI and it's a little much.

1.36.09 Marlon Wayans saves the day!

1.37.24 Marlon Wayans was arrested by the White House (these days it's really earning the name with all that snow huh?)

1.37.58 CGI alert! Lot's of it.

1.39.20 It's not even impressive. Well, maybe if I watched it at the cinema?

1.40.16 Sienna Millers brother injects Christoper Eccleston with nanomites and his face is all metal now. Bad line from Eccleson. Not good.

1.41.16 "This is Captain Duke Hauser prepare to be boarded" Now that's something I'd like to hear from Channing Tatum. Mmmmm.

1.41.51 More CGI

1.42.16 Eccleston and Sienna Millers brother are now imprisoned.

1.42.52 Channing Tatum loves Sienna MIller still.

1.43.05 More CGI It's so obvious it's not even funny. Well it is actually.

1.44.04 I hope there'll be a sequel. If they can do the opposite of what happened with the Transformers franchise.

1.44.48 Arnold Vosloo in the body of Jonathan Pryce is now president.

1.45.19 It's all over now. The end credits now. The song boom boom boom song isn't very good.

Now, I really liked it in that campy, action B movie kind of way and I really do hope they'll come back with a sequel.

Thank you for your time.

Help me Doctor..

I spent Friday night on the sofa watching Star Trek and of course I loved it. As much as when I watched it at the movies earlier this year. Nothing new about that, but I did have a bit of a tightness in my neck.

Then Saturday night, after spending most of the day on the sofa relaxing I decided to do what I always do when I'm not going anywhere. On a Saturday. So, I put on some Kylie music. You see, Kylie has released a new live album recorded at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York. And that's when I started dancing around the flat.

I did it all. I danced to my hearts content and oh, my (poor neighbours), I sang along. Had I been ten years younger (I'm 27 mind) I'd have sung into a hair brush. By....


Kylie - Confide In Me, Live in New York

...I was so into it, that I was THE DIVA and threw myself to the floor.

Ouch! Aw Oww..!

I naturally went on and performed the last nine songs, because I didn't want to disappoint my audience, and I never cancel. Granted, the last part of my show was a lot more subdued.

By the time, I'd say my goodbyes, received my pretend flowers and gone back to my dressing room I could hardly stand up straight. I spent the night on the floor. In tears. I couldn't sleep and I was in so much pain despite consuming an amount of painkillers that would have made Anna Nicole Smith (shot here by Ellen Von Umwerth - gorgeous!) proud.

So Sunday was spent in bed, pills and vodka by my bed. Crying like another tragic starlet who just wanted to be loved, and pain free.

Today, I was able to make it down to the doctors office. Of course they didn't have any available appointments, so I was forced to go sit there among the riff-raff who, like me, had not been able to secure an appointment.

I tell you, sitting in the waiting area at my doctors offices, is dangerous. D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S-E I tell you! Even though my doctor is one of the more upscale doctors in town. All those sick people sitting there, coughing and whatnot. I kid you not, I was surrounded by sick people. SICK people! ICK! It was gross. Thank precious, I had my sanitizing hand gel with me, or I'd definately caught something icky. People are gross. YUCK!

Anyway, I waited for a good half hour, which I'm still fairly miffed about as they should know who I am. I'm Pete (or 'Petra if you ask IDV) for gods sake! Anyway, all was forgiven as I was lucky enough to get treated by the cute doctor. He proceded to rub my back, feel me up and hug me tight for a good twenty minutes, before I was allowed to put my clothes back on.

He told me to take deep breaths as he mounted me, and I told him "it's OK, I've done this before". He smiled and said that he was sure I had.

So now I'm all better again, floating on my usual glittering, diamanté encrusted pink cloud, waiting for the soreness to go away.


E-rotic - Help Me Doctor Dick

4024

Must.Start.Blogging.Again!

Time flies when you're having fun, isn't that what they say? Well..let's see

Fun - Check!
Time flies - Check!

Yup, it's true. At least for me. I've been way too busy to blog anything lately. Mostly working, but I've been going out a bit too and had a few dinner parties which was nice. Still, I suppose a blog post would have been the least I could do.

What I did do, was go to the movies with friends to watch 2012 - twice!

I know what you are thinking, why did he go twice? There really isn't one reason, there are many. By many I mean, there are these

1. The promise of a campy disaster movie, and it was.
2. The surprising moment where Amanda Peet (Remember Jack & Jill and Central Park West?) actually stepped up and delivered something that would have landed Kim Basinger or Julia Roberts another Oscar (because really, they didn't deserve those Oscars for their performances in those movies, did they! Let's be honest, No effing way!).
3. Anything where they feature John Cusack as the hero who will save humanity. Really, a rubbish B actor like that. Campfest 2.0 here we come!
4. The dodgy CGI and special effects. There are two scenes with CGI worthy of only Spiceworld or maybe Critters.
5. The hilarious Russian accents. Especially supplied by Zlatko Buric who is acts a lot in Danish movies. Apparently we can't get enough of him, heh!
6. The hot russian pilot Sasha played by Johann Urb
   
   
   
7. Watching scenes from LA and Vegas (well they were demolished and I felt quite sad watching that) and I was all like "hey I've been there!!!"
8. Double checking if they really didn't care about the Russian girl dying
9. Double checking if the giraffs did poop on the Russian girl
10. The jokes were fairly stupid and I had to double check if they really were THAT lame
11. Found the idea behind the movie fairly interesting

All in all, it was interesting, and suprisingly not really as B-movie like as I thought it would be. Most of all I suppose Johann Urb sold it for me. Putting him in a uniform and parade around, is always a major plus. A good time was had, both times. Although it was a little long the second time.

So, how have you been?

Old and Bitter

First of all, I want to say that I got my iPhone back on Wednesday. It was a long wait but on the positive side I got a brand spankin' new one. Good times, as Tim would say. It was like missing a limb not to have it, which proves that the iPhone was the right choice for me. Honestly, I'd say the iPhone is for everyone. It's got everything you need (except Flash and a decent camera). So now on with the show. Last time I updated I purposely omitted my meeting with Madge. Of course you don't actually meet Madge, you see her on stage doing her thing and then she leaves. That's basically it really.

Well, we sailed from Millenium Pier to the O2 where the concert was held and apparently we arrived unfashionably early. Before anything else we went to the tats stand. You know, the place you buy the heartshaped sunglasses, hideous t-shirts and the tour programme. Naturally I got the programme which I will address later. For once Madgetastic was on time and he (I'm describing my friend here, not Madge - just thought I'd explain as that could be fairly confusing) had us eating our terrible concert venue pizza upstairs before heading into the arena (I suppose) while Paul Oakenfold was warming up the crowd.



I looked around to see how many people were there.



Clearly people could care less about Paul Oakenfold and cared more about hitting up Nando's outside, buying tat or dolling up in the loo. I could understand why because it was less than inspired and I got no warm feelings from looking at this sad old kreacher - to specify I mean Paul Oakenfold. He wasn't exactly warming anyones cockles.

So we patiently sat there waiting, and waiting for him to leave the stage. Then we waited, and waited until I spotted something



But I had spotted something. Four figures up near the far left screen. I swear one of the is the old bag herself. Unfortunately none of our cameras worked well enough to zoom in for a closer look but she was there. Looking over the few in attendance. It was kind of sad. Mostly for her and the kreacher.

Then the lights went out and all sorts of graphics whirled by on the monitors



A gumball machine. How inventive. Showing us how they were made from what I can only assume was old ingredients. All revealing her sitting on her throne - legs spread as wide as the old hip replacements would allow. It's amazing how flexible they make bolts, cements and plastic these days. Before we go further I'm giving you the set list.

• Candy Shop


• Beat Goes On


• Human Nature (YAY!)


• Vogue (YAY!)


• Into The Groove


• Holiday


• Dress You Up


• She's Not Me


• Music


• Devil Wouldn't Recognize You (YAY!)


• Spanish Lesson (she always performs the ultimate stinker from her recent albu doesn't she?)


• Miles Away


• La Isla Bonita


• Doli Doli


• You Must Love Me


• 4 Minutes


• Like A Prayer


• Frozen


• Ray Of Light


• Give It 2 Me

Now going through this, I am not entirely sure if these photos are in order and for which song she wore a particular outfit. What I do know is that I've skipped some of the outfits because they were, to be quite frank, hideous. That doesn't mean that the ones on display here aren't hideous, it just means there was something somewhat interesting in the photo or I needed filler.

Madge went all out by taking a car with her on stage and was waving a piece of clothing in the air. We had hoped she had kept it all on though. She is scary looking.


Most of her male dancers were quite good looking. There was one dancer though, with long hair. I don't fancy that.

On the Confessions on a Toilet tour Madge took out the old electric guitar and we were "treated" a few songs with Madge on the guitar. It was repeated on this tour. Apparently someone is under the delusion that they are a rock bitch.


Then there was a bit of costume borrowing going on - but I suppose it's a tribute that goes both ways. Oh and notice sexy dancer on the right. Nice! And nice boots!


On a totally unrelated note I kind of fancied the guy in front to the right. Mostly for his hair though. The person to his left not so much.

She jumped around on stage so much you'd think she was a 20 year old aerobics instructor. It was ridiculous. She could outdance all her dancers but it just looks wrong when a senior citizen does that.


Then she capitalised on the death of Michael Jackson. It was not why we were there but it was all over the news. Even in Denmark. Madge is a cunning, cynical business person who knows exactly what makes the news. The person dancing was good at it, it was just in poor taste.


She got down and boogied with her male dancers.



I must admit Madge lost me long before this, but I was just about to get into the groove again when a bunch of Hungarian folk singers came on stage and started playing. It felt like they would never leave. I just couldn't get into that. They massacred La Isla Bonita - a favorite of mine.


Then Madge molested the image of Justin Timberlake. He had to put up with a lot from Madges prosthetic hips whatever else was down those trousers.


See, the ugly male dancer was the one in the front to the right. I'm so totally not feeling Madges hair.



More guitar playing. The boots look like the ones from the 4 Minutes video. I'm wondering if the budget was spent mostly on makeup because surely the outfits couldn't have cost much.



If this was the actual ending to the concert I can't remember. What I do remember is that suddenly the lights went out. A big monitor said "Game Over" and that was it. No goodbyes or thanks for coming. Just the cold shoulder and giving us the finger once or twice. I swear I almost walked out.

Now these next images were ones I took with my iPhone. The ones above are mostly done by Madgetastic.









The God thing never gets old, or does it?

Anyway for the most part I had a good time. The Vogueing happened which was a huge plus. I had told Madgetastic that if there was no Vogueage going on I'd kick Madge in the groin and dump the remains in the River Thames. Apparently someone has connections. The dancing was too much, the vocal was alright, the visuals a little stale at times and the concept stupid. Madge does look scary in person. If you met it in a dark alley you should be very afraid.

I was more than happy that Madgetastic wanted to fly me to London to see the Old and Bitter concert and while it turned out to be more old than bitter, a good time was had by us. For me it was being in London more than the concert which is more show than concert. Not that there is anything wrong with that though. If I were a neutral party I'd give it 3 steel dild...sorry! microphones.

Well, I promised to come back to the tour programme. That was the lamest piece of tat in the shop. I should have bought the £8 button instead. It's just photos of Madge in very little clothes, airbrushed to oblivion and doing some sort of boxing stuff in a basement or somewhere dingy like that. Madges own person dungeon where Guy was chained up until he escaped long enough to get divorced?

Nobody puts baby in a corner

I had the time of my life last night. Ok, so it was Friday night, but that doesn't go with the whole Dirty Dancing theme.

I'm not a party gay. I never really went out and partied like it was 1989 because I was brought up to be the nice guy. The one that sits home with his parents on a Friday and Saturday night and then sits in his room studying until 10.30pm before going to to sleep. Well, that and the fact that I didn't have any friends who wanted to go out with me.

Of course I've had a few nights out, I spent an entire easter break completely hammered on Bacardi Limon and Sprite and the week after in bed being sick as a dog. I also had few Christmas parties - like the last company party. There were feather boas and copious amounts of liquor. And (I know you don't start a sentence with 'and' but I am a rebel - deal with it) you know what? I both those times were some of the BEST times in my life. I had actual fun, f-u-n!

Where I work we can decide to join a sort of student union except it's for the people who work there and not students. A union I suppose. They put together events that we can all attend if we want. Be it beer tasting, football games, concerts, shopping trips to cities around Europe and whatnot. The union had arranged first a department football game where it was "administration" vs. "production" (as we don't actually produce anything this includes the credit analysis, financing and debt collection teams). This was cancelled due to a number of things happening but any excuse to have a party. So, they picked up a sack of party games, beer, liquor, steaks and off we went to the house that had been rented.

I wasn't actually going to attend because I hate football and beer. Yet the friend I am going to the great US of A with in August (Dullface) persuaded me to. I got there late of course, because I'd stayed at work doing a bit of work because I found it foolish to go home and spend 5 minutes there before leaving again. When I got there Dullface was already there. He was talking to some of the people there and didn't really speak to me. So I found myself another group and we split up playing either petanque (weird game with balls) or this weird king game with sticks. He wanted to do the petanque thing and I had teamed up with a lovely girl and my work crush for the stick game.

From then on I didn't actually speak to Dullface all night. He had already sat down for the dinner at the other end of the table when we got in and so our new crew stuck together. Dinner turned a bit naughty when the grilled sausages were served. Before we knew it someone had mentioned this other guy from work (he was there) who we don't like, and someone was having a bite of a sausage when my crush mentioned someone about him doing the chopper in front of his very unsexy girlfriend. It all went further down the gutter from then on and we had to leave because we got a little loud. There was wine and Irish Coffees and later beers. We ended up play darts in our drunken stupour with another guy who had joined us in our laughing over the guy we don't like.

So we went outside and it all continued. Dullface came out to join us for a bit but suddenly he was gone again. I think someone asked him to do the chopper. Bless. Anyway we stayed until 3am drinking, dancing and singing like maniacs. We also had some very drunken deep talks which was nice. I don't remember much of it though. I made sure our lovely girl got home alright and I staggered home and crashed on my bed around 4.30am with my stinky clothes still on.

I can't remember when I've had THAT much fune ever. Even those bits that I don't remember were fun, I know that much. I need friends like that, and I am going to have to pretend I'm still in my late teens early twenties.

Let's party like it's 1989! (Ok, so maybe more like 1987)

Shick! Tantsui, Muzika - Zazhigai!

So there was the Eurovision Song Contest live from Moscow. Did you miss it? I didn't. I've seen the show twice. First the Danish transmission which was rubbish because the commentator was dull. Very dull. Then of course I watched the UK transmission. I do that every year because Sir Terry Wogan is hilarious with his dry wit. This year Graham Norton (we love him!) took over, mocking the contestants and hosts and well everything. I was shocked at how nice he was through it all, but it was an amusing 3 hours and 15 minutes. I wouldn't have spent it any other way (well, I did consider turning off the TV during the Danish transmission because I've been better entertained watching specs of dust float through the air).

Before we begin I just have to mention how ridiculous that the Russian police interrupted and arrested gay demonstrators on the day was. I mean, they were hosting the gayest show in the world and they didn't want gay people in the streets with banners? Idiots. A PR nightmare I'd say. Anyway I'm going to take you through this event in the best way possible.

It started off like it always does with an intro. Since the circus (no, I'm not talking about Britney showing her minky on stage) is so popular in Russia and 40 percent of Cirque du Soleil are Russian it was only natural that they opened the show. The links in the name of the performer and title of the song are to a youtube video of the performance. Click and watch, it's definately worth it.



Next up, last years Russian winner Dima Bilan took to the stage, had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction. Tee-hee.



Then he flew through the air with the angel. Nice bulge. Singing, yes he was singing too. His song "Believe". I liked that, the bulge and the song, not so much the hair. At least he wore shoes. He also ran through walls on stage, that was before he started flying.



The hosts. The one in the tangerine loo brush dress is Alsou - the female host. She almost won some years ago by singing her song "Solo" I think. I liked that song a lot. The man host, he was adorable. His name is Ivan.



The lineup. Remember, you can't vote for your own country, and don't vote now because your vote won't count and you may be charged.



Lithuania. Sasha Son, Love. It wasn't very good.



Next up was Israel. It was a very political concept. One of the women is jewish and the other an arab. Noa & Mira Awad, There Must Be Another Way. - Really there should be, because that was horrible. Everything from the hideous goth outfits to the atrocious song and bad vocals.



France was the third song. Patricia Kaas, Et S'il Fallait Le Faire. Very intense, I felt rather violated and not in the good way. It was as much the song as it was the performance and the look. She scares me. She wore nice shoes though.



After that intense experience we moved on to a bit of popera. Swedens Malena Ernman, La Voix. She wore a very expensive, yet ugly dress. Her face resembles the swedish contestant last year. I dubbed her Nessie. No doubt this one could sing, but it was just too ridiculous and loud.



Song number 5 was by Igor Cukrov feat. Andrea, Lijepa Tena. I quite fancy Igor for some reason, and that reason is not his hideous boots. The shame! The song not so much. It sounds like the kind these balkan countries dish up every year.



Next up was Portugals Flor-De-Lis, Todas As Ruas Do Amor. This is sort of a Portugese, large womans version of Mika. Graham Norton liked this for some reason. I couldn't understand why, but watching it now for the third time...no I still don't like it. It's light years better than last years Portugese entry. Remember the fat women?



After Portugal came Iceland. Last year I LOVED the Icelandic entry and this year they were, again, one of my favorites. Partly because the girl looks a bit like Rachel McAdams and partly because the song is so beautiful. An added bonus is that she's wearing a blue 1980s prom dress. Her hair is lovely. Yohanna, Is It True?



Song number 8 came from Greece. Now I liked the Greek entry. Very 80s. It was a catchy pop song, and I really liked his box. Sakis Rouvas, This Is Our Night. Another favorite of mine, but unfortunately it wasn't his night.



Song number 9 was from Armenia. Inga & Anush, Jan Jan. Apparently they wore traditional costumes. I found the song to be awful, and the women looking like ethnic witches. The dancing seemed a bit like something you'd do before or while putting a curse on someone. Maybe IDV can elaborate?



Next up was the host country Russias entry. Anastasia Prikhodko, Mamo (means mother). I didn't like this song. The performance was dull and the dress uninspired. There was absolutely nothing special about it, except for the screens behind her where her face kept aging through the performance. That was a bit nifty. Apparently she is Ukrainian.



Azerbaijan was up next. Aysel & Arash, Always as song number 11. A very catchy song. I liked it. A favorite for sure. Notice her sparkly knickers.



Song number 12 was Regina, Bistra Voda from Bosnia & Herzegovina. On a side note, if you click the link you'll get the youtube video and the commentator is the Danish one. Just in case you want to hear how dull he sounds. As far as Regina goes, they are not only an ugly boyband, rivaling Ozone (remember those? Liquid Dreams anyone?) it's also a really bad song.



This was the time for an ad break. While that was happening in most of Europe, both Denmark and the UK were treated to another host. Irena Ponaroshku. She made poor Moscow police etc. singing. Bless. At least it wasn't as atrocious as it was last year in... I can't remember where it was last year. Slovenia? Her hair is pretty.



After this little gem, the next song - lucky number 13 was from Moldova. Nelly Ciobanu with Hora Din Moldova (you'd think that meant your Moldovan whore but no). Lot's of screaming and jumping. It's a wonder it got any points at all. I never understood why there was a man with a broom in the far corner.



After the Moldovan Hora, we had Chiara from Malta with a power ballad, What If We. I really didn't like this one. Graham Norton came up with all the obvious jokes such as how she is very friendly. She never met a Malteser she didn't like. Priceless. Cruel but fun, but she just stood there gesturing with her arms and when she took the mic from the stand she moved the stand with a little trouble. Rather than walking out from behind it.



Estonias contribution was up next. Song number 15, Urban Symphony, Rändajad. I was hypnotised by her bangs. Other than that, she looked nice. Too bad the song wasn't as good. Still there were worse. There always are. They sure liked the wind machine, like it was just invented.



Song number 16 was Denmarks very own, or well... It's Brinck with Believe Again. It was written by Ronan Keating and for some reason this guy performed it as him. The ultimate karaoke I suppose. But why does he stand like that? It looks like he's riding something or doing something little boys may do in their pants. It looks ridiculous.



Song number 17 was from Germany, Alex Swings Oscar Sings, Miss Kiss Kiss Bang. I absolutely love this because it's Eurovision at it's finest. So kitchy! Get those silver trousers on, get your shirt open and HEY! Miss Dita Von Teese! This is why we love Eurovision. The song is well, if nothing else, then quite catchy and the singer has a bad tan and very surprised eyebrows.



Hadise, Düm Tek Tek from Turkey was up next. Very catchy. A little too Shakira copy kitten. Could she wear less clothes? I think not.



Song number 19 from Albania. Kejsi Tola, Carry Me In Your Dreams. This is where the weirdness begins. Blue creature and mimes? Her dress is a little strange too. It's not a favorite of mine that's for sure. Nice shoes though.



Next up was Norway, Alexander Rykak, Fairytale. Complete with violins and a face I'd like to slap. The song is annoying and I just don't get it. It was just too bizarre.



Then the hosts came back. Alsou in a cheap looking wrapping paper dress dating back to sometime in the 1980s. Possibly a bridesmaids dress.



Another favorite of mine. Svetlana Loboda, Be my Valentine! from the Ukraine. Obviously not for her or the singing. The song is catchy, and lovely boots though. Her dancers are quite fit too.



Song number 22 from Romania was performed by Elena, The Balkan Girls. Very catchy and I quite liked it. Although the girl who appears to be singing the lead vocal looks a bit like the host from last year and that woman was scary! Her voice cut through bone and marrow.



Next up was Jade Ewen, It's My Time joined on stage by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. This was another favorite of mine. For once I didn't pity vote for the UK. It was great. Jade is also so pretty. She nailed it. It was a bit musical'ish though but I suppose when Lord Webber is involved that's what it's all about.



Song number 24 from Finland took us all back to the 1980s with an Eminem character. Waldo's People, Lose Control. Bless. I quite liked the hook but all that rapping was very very very, oh so very bad. At least they didn't send Lordi again. Bless.



Last song of the night came from Spain. Soraya Arnelas, La Noche Es Para Mi. A very poor song and for some reason I really didn't like her. The best bit was when she disappeared unfortunately she reappeared again. Damn!



Once the show was over, they had to get the voting started. Since two astronauts at some International space station had nothing better to do, they started the voting.



While the voting happened there were some massive plastic pools being lowered down over the audience in which acrobats, swimmers or dancers were doing all sorts of things. It didn't come across as beautifully on screen as I'm sure it did in the venue.



After the votes were counted, they were announced.



A winner was picked, a superior winner vote wise. Notice how the UK made the top 5!



Dima Bilan hesitating giving the Norwegian boy his trophy.



Alexandre: Give me the trophy you old Ruski has been.
Dima: Shuddup, you don't deserve it you Norwegian troll

Bless. Can't wait for next years party! I hope Graham Norton will be back.