What's your favourite Christmas memory: An Unexpected Journey

I'm here! I'm here! Still here! 

I know I'm fashionably late, even with my showbiz 10 minute call but that's a divas prerogative. 

You're probably either having a late lunch or already preparing your Stockholm syndrome New Years Eve party by now. Shoes, frocks, hair, wig, makeup and mousse or slaving away over a hot stove. It's time for yet another one of those hurry up, get ready, get your sh*t together so we can all sit down and have a lovely night together - hygge! It's that race, sweat running down the face, wild and crazy hair, then stop right before the finish line to adjust everything and gracefully walk across for that finish line photo opportunity. Remember to put it on Insta because if you didn't then it didn't actually happen. Also remember to tidy up in the background before you share those midnight kitchen disco Insta videos because no one wants to see *THAT*.

As you can probably tell, I've been treading water because I sat down here and with a purpose. I wanted to share at story with you but then as I stared at the white, empty page it disappeared but now it's back. So be prepared to get bored to tears. It's about Christmas because really, it's not over until we take down the decorations in the end of January, right?

I was speaking to a friend a few days ago and as I enthused and regaled about how wonderful Christmas is I suddenly and very abruptly asked "what is your favourite Christmas memory then?". I completely blanked. I didn't know. I couldn't remember any specific Christmas that was wonderful. They were all lovely, was my answer. That didn't cut it for me though, so I actually search my memory. I don't have any family photos available and by god, I wasn't going to ask my mother because I'd never get her off the phone again. So as the spoiled little brat I was, I decided to go with the presents. What do I remember getting for Christmas and did I have any specific memories attached to them? Seemed like a good place to start or so I thought.

This spoiled brat - yours truly, the beloved legendary guest star of yore who is a mere kitten at age 29 42 can only remember getting 4 presents which are as follows

Lego Technic excavator

Lego Italian restaurant

Second hand CD - Sabrina - Super Sabrina

....and a white digital clockradio. I don't have a picture of it. It was like a cube only it had a rounding slope from the top to the bottom at the front where it showed what time it was. I tried googling but if you google "white digital clock radio 80s" (or 90s), well let's just say there have been made a lot of clock radios back then.

It's not a lot to remember is it? It's a bit sad but to further this along a bit, because we are running long. Kind of like the Lord of the Rings movies - or that Hobbit thing. Remember that? Tolkien wrote a tiny little novel and this overhyped director and producer decided to milk it and outstay his welcome even further by making a book of 310 pages (first edition) into 3 movies of in total 474 minutes you'll never get back. Ever. But I digress.

From the presents I remember most getting was actually the clock radio and the Sabrina CD which I got the same year. I was a fan. So here goes...

No, wait! Like Peter Jackson you'll have to get back here and watch the next one because ha ha ha this is just the pre-pre book. Hah! Come back and bring those £12 and I do advise you to buy refreshments and the shop because it may run a little long.

Until then, Happy New Year to you. Have a fabulous time and do remember to clear away the dirty dishes in the background before shooting those midnight New Years kitchen disco videos for Insta and if you need any inspiration look no further than our Kylie

I picked this one because of the outfits and effects. She was wearing the most horrendous dress on Jonathon Ross when she performed it there.

HAPPY NEW YEAR