Monday, April 26, 2010

Book Update 4: Ma'am that's the dust cover

So, I'm here playing Carrie Bradshaw on my chaise again. Not as glamorous as one would expect but I've got my glass of water on standby and Austrailas Master Chef on TV. Got to love those accents! Right, so the reason we are here, is that I've finished another 3 books.


The first book is Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire. It's the first Oprah Book Club book I've ever read. Well, I mean I've never read a book (that I'm aware of anyway) that was part of Oprahs Book Club. This one was though.

Initially I had massive aversions towards it for multiple reasons.

  1. It is based on a true story - I don't like those
  2. Being very interested in movies, I was bombarded with images and information about the movie version
  3. It would be depressing
  4. The very long title
  5. Mariah Carey was in the movie

All those things were holding me from reading it, until someone gave it to me. It had been on sale and bla bla bla you should read it bla bla bla. At least it wouldn't be a ho-mance. I still can't get over the fact that Mariah Carey was in the movie version. She was the reason why Glitter was made gods sake! That should never be forgotten.

That said, if you are into the sort of semi (c)rude graphic language, tragic story and a mix of story and poetry you might like it. For me, it was maybe too 'real' or I'm just not really into reading in graphic detail about how a 12 year old girl was raped by her father and then later gave birth to their retarded child. Or how her mothers nether region smelled. Quite frankly, I can live without that. The grammar and spelling mistakes etc. were genious though, just like in Forest Gump - if you've read that. It works. I didn't really like Forest Gump either, but the way it was written was great.

Again. Glitter! Mariah, I shall never forgive you


The next book is the first book of the Being Human series called The Road by Simon Guerrier. Before I start writing about the book, I have to mention that the cover design is by the graphic design master Glittering Lee. We here at Sayhey ADORE Lee, and quite frankly we'd have his children if it were physically possible or if he asked. Of course Lee is, like most of the good gays, taken.

Well, enough about that. We are here to talk about the book, which is quite entertaining. What do you get if you take a werewolf, vampire and a ghost and put them in a house together? You get a tightly knit group of friends who look out for each other, and whatnot.

Then, what do you get if you add a middle aged black woman ghost who smells something like brimstone. Wearing a purple hat, lacquered hair and a floral dress under a purple coat? Well you should buy the book and find out. It's quite entertaining despite the story unfolding in Bristol of all places. Ch-che-check it out!


Last and certainly not least, I've finished Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomanical, Self-Centered Smart Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster. As my regular readers may have notices, I have a thing for Miss Jen Lancaster. I've read all four of her books - and just when you thought you might be safe, another one is released this May.

I saw the title of her first book Bitter is the New Black over on Dinahs blog, and just *had* to read it. From there it just escalated and I'm still quite smitten with Jen Lancasters style of writing. It's fun, honest and I imagine my life story being written like that when I retire to my chaise, a glass of Champagne in hand, and live of Godiva chocolates and Beluga caviar. It's not Jen Lancasters fault that she lives in Chicago of all places. That said, Jen loves Chicago apparently, and I suppose my few days in her fair city wasn't enough to hook me. Truth be told, I was tired, cold, starving and ended up walking past the Crocs Beach Volley tournament by Lake Michigan. No, honey. No.

Pretty in Plaid, is like her autobiography in which she writes about some of the turning points in her life. Some fun, and some a little less fun but always with a cheerful twist. Like the title suggests she uses outfits to recall the events in her life. From the seventies and up. Like she remembers wearing a too-tight pink parka from Lands' End that couldn't zip over her green wool crewneck sweater the day she learned that the Challenger exploded, a scratchy purple V-neck when Reagan was shot and a a red Ralph Lauren turtleneck, loose sand-coloured 501s and a red and blue grosgrain band around her watch when she first kissed her husband Fletch.

For someone like me, who loves clothes, witty comments and someone who can laugh at themselves this is a must read. Big, nay huge both thumbs up!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The case of the mysterious post-it - VAT what?

I love Amazon a lot. That's where I do most of my shopping when it comes to books. I know I'm supposed to be supporting my local shops. However Amazon is just more convienient and cheaper.

In the shops I have maybe two shelves of English languaged books, and will need to bring titles and authors when I got. Plus the dreaded; Last time you bought ... so you might like this? It's a small town and people talk. So what if I bought A Passion for Stiletto? That's nobodys business but mine, and no I don't want the Stiletto Birthday Book, thank you very much.

On Amazon I can troll around and read about the books on my chaise with a glass of Champagne in hand, and ignore the rude suggestions that I might want to buy Twillight New Moon on DVD because I previously mentioned to the dastard thing, that I owned Practical Magic on DVD. Or that I should buy Lauren Conrads L.A. Candy... Wait, I might actually like that hmmmm. Anyway, the suggestions should be private and not something to be yelled out into the store and Amazon does that for me.

So, last week I logged onto Amazon for a quick trip though their shop. A hop to the DVD department with a little a skip through music and a brief stop looking at watches. It was lovely, and I hadn't even found something I wanted to buy. Perfect. So I finally stopped by the books. You see, although I am boycotting the evil witch that is IDV for slandering remarks etc. in his post about TFGES I did find a few books on his blog that I wanted to read.
I found them, added them and then I went on a little vampire crazed shopping spree. In the shopping basket it said how much they were, and I thought that was a bit much but oh well - besides it said something about qualifying for free supersave delivery or something. Lovely! Imagine my surprise that when I'd put in my credit card information and was ready to confirm the transaction. Not only had the prices changed, but they'd also been lovely enough to add shipping costs. Because apparently they changed their minds, Denmark is not included in their free shipping. The higher prices are due to the fact that Denmark has a 25% VAT added to all products sold in Denmark. If I'd bought something on or other Internet shops, they wouldn't add the extra VAT because they don't have to. They are not Danish companies, and neither is Amazon. Which is why I'm slightly peeved. I can forgive them for the added shipping because they aren't Danish, but the added VAT really puzzles me. If they were Danish, they would have to charge the 25% but then they should have a free shipping supersaver thing for us. But I digress.

Then yesterday the package arrived. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and I spotted this.

The strange Q34 post-it. I didn't put it there. So who did? Why? And is the book in fact used (although it shouldn't be)? There are no post-its on the other books, it's just that one.

Why? What? When? Where?

I'll end this with a little public service announcement

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Naughty book meme

My last post was a book meme and in the comments Mr. Bingowings insinuated that my Danish languaged book was a Ho-mance novel. It wasn't, but rather the book which the Oscar nominated movie Precious, something Push by Sapphire was based on. I have to say, the title makes me want to gag. Anything with a title that annoying gets on my 'I'm not doing that - ever!' list. The fact that the woman who gave us Glitter, Wisegirls and a whole bunch of albums which mostly are just vocal range exercises stars in the movie. Well, let's just say it isn't helping the matter. I'm about half way through it, so look out for it in an upcoming book update.

Well, I take what Mr. Bingowings said as a bit of a dare. So I found the two books with the juiciest page 123 and I thought I'd pick the dirtiest, so be warned, this is all male handyman sex.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)

Well, as mentioned I didn't pick the book nearest me, but rather the one with the raunchiest page 123.

There was a whole debate going on about the tie issue in the photo, started by our very own Tim who thought it was a bit unpractical. But I ask you this, Tim. If you saw a woman in just knickers and a tie. What would you say to that eh? Still unpractical, or just unbelievably hot?

2. Open the book to page 123

Will is trying to seduce his handyman Jack. He has gotten him to lie on his bed for a massage.

3. Find the fifth sentence

His eyes still locked on Will's face, he slid the denim down his things and calves.

4. Post the next three sentences

He was wearing dark blue cotton boxer shorts. Loose as they were, they couldn't quite hide the obvious erection poking against the fabric. Will's mouth actually watered and he had to swallow to keep from choking.

Ok. So it isn't really that naughty, but if you are feeling frustrated you could always buy the book on but if I were you I'd hold out for the Sci-Fi series - Hot sweaty manlove of the interplanetary kind - of My Fair Captain and the Englor Affair both by J. L. Langley.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Marilyn vs. Scarlett

From one meme to another. This one is a book meme, and I may have done it before or at least thought about doing it. Let's get to it.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

I have two books fairly close to me while lounging on my chaise. One is in Danish so that won't do. The other is Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomanical, Self-Centered Smart Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster and I've actually finished that one. So look out for it in a book update sometime in the future.


2. Open the book to page 123

Ok, this is where Miss Jen faces the big conundrum. Scarlett or Marilyn. Hold on to your knickers everyone.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

And lower your voice, you sound kind of dumb.

4. Post the next three sentences

Also, blond hair and black eyebrows? Oh, honey, no. I'm still grumbling about the Marilyn/Scarlett conundrum when I arrive at my locker after seventh period.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Ruffle my feathers

Here I am at my laptop, like another Carrie Bradshaw once more. Not the way I expected to spend my weekend. You see my dear reader, I have Monday off and in my head had planned a little weekend away by myself.

The idea came to me Friday at noon when I was talking to my colleague who sits opposite me. We don't talk much because we have very little in common. She's over 50 (I think, not entirely sure of her age) and otherwise a very lovely and stylish woman. Yet, the chemistry is on and off. I adore her though, but can't tell if she likes me or not which frustrates me a little. Anyway I suddenly got the idea to go to Copenhagen this weekend. I'd leave Saturday morning and come back Monday afternoon.

As the polite colleague I am, I asked her what her and her husband were doing this weekend, and they were going for a run Friday afternoon, having a dinner party on Saturday and brunching with friends Sunday. She in turn asked me what I was doing as I had Monday off. I told her about my idea to spend the weekend in Copenhagen and how I missed it there. She understood as she herself had lived there for many years, and one of her sons lives there. Then she almost beamed as she told me I should go to see our Crown prince Frederik and his wife Princess Mary's palais. Apparently the palais open to the public until they move in later this spring after a long renovation period. She had gone a few weeks ago and it was positively fabulous. Of course, she proclaimed being a royalist as am I. My mothers maiden name is Margrethe - like our Queen - so I feel a fair bit royal myself.

Anyway, my plan was to take the train - first class naturally - and then sign into either the fabulous old school hotel for the celebrities Hotel D'angleterre or the hip and kool Hotel Fox. Then spend my first hours in Copenhagen shopping, and then hook up with friends and going out. Then on Sunday I'd go to see the Royal Palais and walk around Copenhagen - including a visit at where the Little Mermaid used to be as it's been shipped off to Japan for a while. It would have been amazing to just walk around Copenhagen in the sun shine down by the water and take in the old parts of the city. Then I'd hook up with friends for dinner and Monday I'd go shopping again until I'd have to go home by train. First class again, naturally.

Of course all great plans meet their challenges and I was forced to cancel my plans. So here I am, typing away on my fabulous laptop with nothing to offer you except this humble meme that IDV tagged me for. So here we go

The failed weekend meme

Where is your cell/mobile phone?

My old iPhone is next to me on the sofa, and the new 3G S iPhone is on my dinner table.


I don't even have a bus pass. I use 10 trip clip cards.


I need a haircut. It's not curly or anything but it's way too long and unruly. I could have gotten a cut in Copenhagen *sigh!*


I'm not, but I do have a father. Also if someone could point me in the direction of a rich sugar daddy I'd be eternally grateful. Please?

Your favorite thing?

It's between the new iPhone 3G S, my laptop, the fourth season DVD of Dynasty and my LeKlint lamp (mine's in red, and you can change the inner bits so you can make yourself a completely new lamp by buying new inner covers). It's difficult to pick one.

Dream last night?

I couldn't possibly say, it's a little naughty. Let's just say it included Robbie Williams, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, David Beckham and Tom Ford (One of the best menswear designers out there. He gave me a great tux).

Favourite drink?

Firtinis. Vodka, pinapple juice and Champagne. Don't you just LOVE it!

Room you are in?

My living room. I wish I was in a swanky hotel room in Copenhagen though *sigh!*

Your ex?

Is in Copenhagen. I may or may not have had plans to hook up with him.

You are?

A little bummed out, that I didn't go to Copenhagen afterall. Maybe this summer or autumn though. Or I'd go to London. That would also be kool. Or maybe Paris?

What do you want to be in ten years?

Married, a millionaire and an acclaimed designer. No, seriously I don't know. Employed and in a relationship would be nice.

Who did you hang out with today?

Nobody. I kept a low profile and I expect I'll keep that up tonight. Watching a movie or two.

What you're not?

Married, a millionaire and acclaimed designer. I'm also not in Copenhagen. Ok. I'll stop whining.


Why not? A chocolate, chocolate chip muffin would be nice.

One of your wish list items?

A big flatscreen TV, a nice designer watch and designer shoes.

Where is the ____ ?

Ben & Jerry Baked Alaska and Half Baked ice cream

The last thing you did?

Trying to win a Facebook Scrabble game against Sparkly Tim

What are you wearing?

My glittering cowboy hat, black pin striped trousers, black top with vintage Pepsi logo and pink and purple stripey socks.

Your pet(s) ?

I don't have pets. I am following Stefano Gabbana (designer - Dolce & Gabbana ya know) on Twitter and he posted a photo of his cute black dog. At that moment I wanted a dog. Then I thought about it a little more. I'm not allowed to have pets in my appartment, and I'd have to walk it and feed it and love it. Oh. I'm so not a pet person.

Your computer?

I've got an HP Pavillion something, something and my IBM ThinkPad X60s Lenovo. I also have a Zepto Znote something laptop but I've packed it away because I have issues going online with it.

Your life?

I fairly good at the moment, but I am missing a boyfriend, could lose a fair amount of weight.

Your mood?

Less whiney than before, but still a bit bummed I didn't get to go to Copenhagen.


A few pieces of the puzzle.

What are you thinking about right now?

Why there is so much sport on TV. Are people really that into handball, football and also why is Rihanna so popular? She's so shrill!

Your shoes?

Silver Hackenbusch casual shoes. A little worn but still presentable.

Your work?

Good. I love making people keep up their car payments. Forcing them to give it back if they don't, is only an extra bonus.

Your summer?

Nothing is planned. I wish I could go abroad but I doubt I'll be able to afford it. Especially if I buy that flatscreen TV.

Your favorite colour?

Pink, but I like black too.

So, those are my answers. Please do this meme if you like, and let me know in the comments section so I can swing by and read your answers.

Have a great weekend, dearies. Now, let's have a batch of flirtinis.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Carrie Bradshaw I'm not

I have to be honest. I do feel a little bit like Carrie Bradshaw sitting here in my sofa with my new (to me at least) laptop typing away wearing my glittery cowboy hat. Shush, it's fabulous! But that's where all comparisons end.

My laptop comes from a very high profile bankruptcy here in Denmark. In fact it's the biggest financial fraud case in recent years, and although it's probably not, I could be sitting here with Stein Baggers computer this very moment. It's not a Mac but rather an IBM ThinkPad Lenovo X60s and I'm loving it. It's got a fingerprint security feature that I haven't quite worked out yet. I know how to swipe a fingerprint but storing it is another story. I don't fint it quite so guiding and forthcoming when it comes to setting it up, as I'd have thought. Oh well. Then again Carrie is really a technophobe, and at least I back up my system once in a while.

Another thing I've been wrestling with is my iPhone. Unlike Carrie, I know how to work an iPhone (did you not see the movie in which Carrie couldn't even dial a number? What a spazz) but I have been working on unlocking mine from my supplier. You see, my evil bro is giving his two spawn of satan each an iPhone. The spawn are now 10 and 12 years old, and many people would reason that it's way too early to just give them an iPhone. My evil bro thinks not. So he's gone and purchased a 16GB 3G S in piano black through his work and he's already got two. One 32GB 3G S and a 16 GB 3G regular. So in order to not give one of his spawn special treatment, he's going to swap my old 16 GB 3G regular for a brand spankin' new model S. I accepted, thanking him. Now my job is to get it unlocked by my carrier, which is Telia. One of the massive failures in telecommunications. After speakting to two customer service monkeys I finally got it done. It took them 20 minutes to figure it out, plus 10 minutes in queue waiting to get through. "your call is very important to us, there are many callers at this time, we apologise for the inconvienience" You know. When I got home I had to figure out how to get it unlocked but it kept telling me to enter a pin code when I inserted an old SIM card from another carrier. Later I found out, that's to do with the setup on the SIM card, rather than the iPhone. I also finally managed to figure out how to eliminate everything on my iPhone, and I wouldn't want my niece or nephew hooking up with the likes of MJ or for instance. That would be awkward.

It turns out, I paid too many taxes last year, so they refunded me £360 which was quite nice. Of course I hadn't submitted my final tax return before they'd sent me the money, so I now owe the government £70. Luckiely the Danish tax system works so poorly that they are giving me interest free loan and divide the amount over 3 months starting September 20th and the following two months. Isn't that insane? I've decided to take them up on the offer rather than paying them now. This means that I can combine that with my vacation pay that comes next month and I may be able to buy a large item - or in the spirit of Carrie Bradshaw a few pairs of Manolo, Sergio Rossi or Choo. Or perhaps a lovely Prada bag? Or just maybe I could get myself a watch? I just couldn't decide if I want a leather or metal strap.

Funny story about watches. When I was in Vegas I tried on $20,000 watches and it was lovely! The woman behind the counter seemed to think I was a serious player, as did everyone. When I walked through Dior and Hugo Boss people took me very serious and showed me their wares. The only place they looked at me strangely was at La Perla, but then it could be because I was flushed walking in there and could hardly look up at their stuff. It was just one of those things I *had* to do.

Back to what to spend my tax money on, I could also go for a new TV. Hell, my 10 year old Samsung TV won't live forever so it's just a matter of figuring out what I can get within my price range. So *not* what Carrie Bradshaw would spend her money on.

Truth be told, I have been spending a bit of the money already. During the Easter break, I've had days where I all I had were two tubs of Ben & Jerry - Fairly Nuts. I know, but it seems fitting. I may have an eating disorder, or there are reasons why I'm not exactly a size 0. At least I've been helping those poor farmers and the climate as it's both Fair Trade and Climate Neutral.

Carrie always finished her episodes - that's what I call them - writing something about love or sex. Preferably using clever (or not really clever) stories about shoes or french fries - oh, oh or socks! Socks in the City! But I'm not going to do that. This sums up my lovelife at the moment.

Well, actually I don't even like Carrie. I like her shoes, but that's about it. I prefer Samantha, the fabulous one.