We here at SayHey watch it, so you don't have to. You should know the drill by now. Otherwise, do have at look at my previous Not-so-live-blogging events .
Todays feature is RED. I'm watching it in HD on my Yousee box. I love this rental feature where I don't have to go anywhere to rent a movie. All I have to do is push a few buttons and BOOM! Movie right on my TV in HD quality. Best part is, I don't have to take it back as it just disappears again after 24 hrs. None of that Lovefilm DVD thing where you must pop them in the postbox on the way to or from work. Besides, I only get a bill every 3 months.
As I said, todays feature is RED. The action movie combining the unlikely of Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren and action movie. Here we go...
DC Comics? Is this based on a comic book? Oh no!
Bruce Willis still looks hot.
Also starring: Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker, Julian McMahon, Ernest Borgnine, James Remar and Richard Dreyfuss. They pulled out the big guns eh?
Bruce Willis lives very neat, with dark furniture and dark blue walls. He looks bald.
Apparently Bruce Willis is lonely because he tore up his pension cheque to call Mary-Louise Parker for a new one. Apparently he does this a lot because they seem to know each other pretty well.
Mary-Louise Parker wants excitement and travel. She reads romance novels. How novel.
It starts a bit slow. He lives in Cleveland and it's around Christmas. I know this because it said Cleveland on his trash bin, and the gaudy holiday decorations are up.
God, if I looked like that at 50 or whatever, I wouldn't be eating dinner alone! Bruce, I still would...
They both read the romance novel.
I don't get why Bruce Willis has to sleep wearing so much clothes.
Oh, oh ACTION about to start!
Intruders in the house, and Brucie is in the kitchen, or so they think
Bruce is so KOOL!
Packing his emergency kit and then he's out of there while the house is getting shot at by machine guns of some kind. It's all a bit over the top and American. I love it!
Oh, he's not out of there yet. He's been hiding and massive shooting. Don't they ever run out of bullits?
Kansas City!
We are now in Kansas City at Mary-Louise Parker appartment. She was not expecting Brucie in her flat. Haha. She's throwing stuff at him.
Oh no, they are very being followed and so he put gaffa tape over her mouth and tied her up in the backseat. She's not happy about it.
Sounds like Fragglerock if you ask me.
Oh, cute man is setting up someone for a crime at a gorgeous modern house. He has someone hanging by the neck now.
New target is Brucie. Cute man is a black op guy.
New Orleans hello!
Mary-Louise Parker tied up to a bed.
Meet Morgan Freeman in a red velvet tracksuit. This isn't a pretty picture.
Brucie and Morgan are talking. Brucie brought fingers with him. I'm not kidding! FINGERS.
Morgan Freeman to Brucie: "somebody has a serious hardon for you" - favourite line so far, and so true. So true.
Mary-Louise Parker escaped. She was very shocked she actually got loose, and now there's trouble. Cute man found out about her.
Brucie saves the girl. She was injected with a sedative or something. She's hjigh apparently.
Cute guy getting shot at. He's not just cute, he's hot.
This is so not a real street. This is a studio lot for sure. A little disappointing to be honest.
First Coca Cola sign.
CIA is behind it all apparently. Morgan figured it out.
Welcome to New York City. Been driving on that very road I think.
Mary-Louise Parker to Brucie: "I was hoping you had hair" - first bald head joke. It was pretty funny.
Oh look! It's Lanes mother from Gilmore Girls. She is the mother of a dead journalist that Brucie and Marylou (Mary-Louise Parker is now known as that).
The plot thickens. Brucie and Marylou were checking things out at the library it seems.
Dramatic facial expressions by Brucie. Apparently the guy who they were looking for is dead.
At the CIA there's a records keeper who has all the records of the black ops agents. Apparently Brucie used to be one of them, and cute guy is now checking it out.
RED is Retired Extremely Dangerous. Now we know that.
Pensacola, Florida
Brucie and Marylou are about to meet someone in alligator land.
It's a little exciting.
Whoooops there he is!
He lives in a car.
We are about 32 minutes into it now. It's actually pretty good. Not at all comic booky, that there's anything wrong with that. I like the old Superman movies, Spiderman and I'd like to watch Green Lantern.
Mobile, Alabama!
A city called Mobile? Weird.
The dude they hooked up with walks around with a teddy bear pig and is very paranoid. It's a little funny.
James Remar! WE LOVE YOU!
James Remar just passed. May he rest in pieces. Again lots of shooting and explosions. BOOM!
Brucie really LIKES Marylou.
Brucie now visiting the Russian Embassy to see someone to get help. They want to get into the CIA.
Love the sort of faux cold war, iron wall aspects. We need more of this.
I also missed the really bad fake Russian accents. The worst I've seen are in K-19 Widow Maker starring Harrison Ford.
Now Brucie and Marylou are going into the CIA building. It's a little exciting and a little bit Covert Affair esque.
Another hair joke. Hah! Somehow I think Brucie would look a little sad with hair.
Cute nay hot guy and Brucie (also hot) are now fighting. it's a little exciting and very EXCITING if you know what I mean.
They got out. Much excitement going on though.
ENTER DAME HELEN MIRREN!
Well, actually Brucie entered Helens house. "I kill people dear", Helen Mirren is so kool. Never thought I'd hear her say that.
We just established that cute, nay hot guy has a family. I'm sure that'll turn up later.
Who knew Helen Mirren could be this gun crazy. It's fun.
They've discovered the reason why and who wants them all dead.
Lots of shooting, commotion and Marylou was just captured.
The only one who does any real acting in this movie is Helen Mirren but she really does upp the class, the lass.
Brucie is now at the cute, nay hot guys house calling. Threatning his family.
Marylou is becoming kool. How about that!
Brucie is going to kill the guy behind it all. so they are going to CHICAGO!
I've been to Chicago, it's not all that.
Helen Mirren is looking classy as ever.
Julian McMahon! He's attractive. I'd let him..
Apparently he's their target. I'm sure after a bit of schmoozing there'll be gunfire and other action business.
Excessive firepower but very entertaining
It's very American but we are loving this!
THEY SHOT DAME HELEN MIRREN!! So.not.kool!
We are almost at the climax of the movie. Exciting stuff.
All we need now is Brucie snogging cute nay hot guy.
The END or in French 'fin'
I do hope they'll get the entire cast back to do another one. Cute nay hot guy is Karl Urban
I'm not home yet. Well, OK so I *am* home, but only in body because my spirit is really everywhere but here. On Thursday last week I've been home for a month and while I adore New York, and this is not the last time you hear of it, it's not as if I feel particularly like I'm still in New York. I just feel anywhere but here.
A few weeks ago we had our 'team day' where we all bonded and such, which wasn't nearly as awful as I thought. I made my presentation and after a few days had gone by, my boss lady came up to me and said "I thought you would say that you love travelling". Huh? That was my highly intelligent response to that and then she started telling me about how I'd flewn to London over the weekend in 2009 followed shortly after by an almost month long trip to the great US of A. Then in 2010 I hadn't been anywhere which she thought was a bit bizarre only I went to New York this year for a week. Surely I must love travelling.
I don't really feel that way. I don't mind not going anywhere as long as I feel good where I am and while I lived in Copenhagen I was thrilled to just be. Somehow now, I search for any excuse to go somewhere. Be that New York, Vegas (BABY!), San Francisco, London or Paris. Hell, if I had the chance I'd whisk myself off to Blackpool. While this makes it sound as if I have a terrible life here, I really don't. My appartment is decent (although the rent is a bit steep for a place like this), I love my job (there seems to be a bit much of that lately) and my parents aren't all that intrusive (which is rather odd). It's really just the city I suppose and the fact that most of my friends moved on while I was gone. Two years later, all the friends I have left of my 'old' friends is my bestest friend evah, a darling colleague girl and, Dullface he admitted reluctantly. Fairly sad.
Not to sound too sad and pathetic, I did manage to meet a few new peeps, but I'm rather picky when it comes to meeting new friends. Unlike in other parts of my life. This is also why I ended up going to New York alone. My bestest friend evah was unavailable or as he would say - out of funds and there was no way in hells I'd take Dullface.
Now, let's steer back to travelling again. I get sidetracked easiely. I've been thinking about how it'll be at least a year until I'll go somewhere again. To be honest I find that unbearable, so I have been airing the idea of a few days in London. Travelling Scary Air and staying in some mucky hotel for a few days is better than nothing I suppose. This would mean I could go see this in London
on Sunday..
Of course that's completely crazy but a few days in London would be wonderful. Maybe I'd feel ready to get back to the daily trials and tribulations then?
Films have always been a great part of my life, because they, along with TV were an escape to a better life. Another life. Somewhere far, far away. Plus all the glamour surrounding the making of it. Of course, I know making a movie is not all glitz and glamour and there's a lot of hard, grunt work. Just like in TV. Still, the movies and the cinema were a means to escape whatever troubles you had and go to a different place. A place where other people had troubles that were almost always solved and subsequently they lived happily ever after.
We also didn't have a strong tradition when it came to movies at my childhood home. We didn't buy tapes, and we most certainly didn't go to the cinema. Well, not a lot anyway. My parents would scamper off to see the latest James Bond movie and leaving us kids at home. That was about it. My mother really did fancy Sean Connery, like mother like son I suppose. He was handsome back in the day.
So yes, he's not bloody home yet. Here's a nice little film meme.
Films That Remind Me of Childhood
The first movie I remember watching at the cinema was Walt Disney's The Fox & The Hound (Danish title Mads & Mikkel). I remember getting dressed in my PJs for the movie and I wasn't having it one bit. To this day, this is probably the movie I've cried the most tears to.
Most of my childhood films came curtesy of Walt Disney like The Little Mermaid and Oliver & Co but later in life I remember one time where the whole family were sitting together watching a movie on TV. It was Coming To America starring Eddie Murphy. This was probably around 1989/90. I was around 12 years old and even my evil big brother was there. He's 10 years older than me. It was just such a big moment that the 'whole family' were together and doing something that I actually liked.
I've never counted but I've probably watched this movie 35 times.
Childhood Films Where Removal was Necessary
I've always been very sensitive and when it came to horror, suspense and other genres like that, I knew my limits. I just didn't watch it. Although once I was home alone with evil bro, he and a few of his friends had rented a couple of movies. They had rented Good Morning Vietnam and Miami Spice. Since I don't like war movies, I popped in the latter thinking it was like the series Miami Vice.
Let's just make it very clear, IT WAS PORN! and I was so shocked because I'd never seen anything like it before. I was revolted and yet fascinated. Plus the plot was kind of funny. Obviously it was stopped short before the end, because evil bro came into the living room (the only room we had a VCR in) and he was mortified. I never got to see the end of it which was a little disappointing but I was quite queasy. Strangely enough I didn't tell on my brother that time.
Since I can't find an actual clip of the movie, I leave you with this because why the hell not.
Films that Defined My Teens
My teens were mostly defined by TV series and mini series made for TV along with tacky Hallmark movies. Of TV series it will come as no surprise to anyone that Dynasty was my main inspiration and also action series such as Acapulco HEAT and Mr. & Mrs Smith. Let's take a small look at the latter
I also liked Mistral's Daughter which I would watch with my mother. Of course she'd have a glass of wine in her hand as one does.
Back to the subject at hand, movies I'd have to say that my biggest inspirations were anything with Leslie Nielsen in it. Especially when he paired up with the Zucker Brothers. Like in the Airplane! and the Naked Gun movies.
I also like Sandra Bullock a lot, so naturally I was influenced a lot by her movies. The Net was a favourite.
Films Seen Multiple Times at Theatres
This could be potentially embarrassing. I've watched 4 movies multiple times at the theatre. Now delight in my humiliation while I take you through them and the reasons behind it. There's always a reason.
I've watched it 4 times at the theatre and I actually don't have a total of how many times I've watched it on DVD. It's a lot though.
Well, first time I watched it was with my bestest friend evah. He's a fanboy like me and we always watch Sandra Bullock movies at the theatre together so naturally we went to watch it.
Second time was with a girl who I was very close friends with at the time. I'll mention her 2 more times in this one. Let's call her Maria, because that's her name. She's a lovely girl. We had a falling out almost 10 years ago and met up 4 years ago and I blew her off which was very rude of me and I regret this very much now but I can't find her. I've tried. Well, we loved to go to the movies and as you'll see later on, we'd watch anything. Twice.
Third time was with Dullface because we had decided to go watch a movie and he wanted to watch this one. I liked it, so there we go. It was still funny!
Fourth time was when I had gone to the International People's College and a group of us wanted to go watch a movie. The others hadn't watched this one, and I decided not to share the fact that I'd watched it 3 times before. After we got back and had some wine, it came out though and we all had a big laugh about it. That was the point when I was accepted into the lush club. I was so happy and drunk for the rest of the stay.
I watched this one twice. Haven't watched it since it came out because it's not my genre. As a general rule I don't like war movies, and this one felt like it went on forever. So, why did I watch it twice?
This movie was watched with Maria both times. First time was because the theatre in our town only had two screening rooms. One large and one tiny. There was also only one theatre in our town. That limits the options a lot and it seemed like nothing interesting came out at that time. At least not at our theatre. I don't remember what was out at the time, but maybe we'd already seen it or it wasn't our cup of tea. Anyway we decided to try it out. Then found out we hated it. The following weekend we had nothing better to do so we decided to go the cinema again. Nothing except this movie was showing, so we asked ourselves the question "was it really *THAT* dull?". The answer was yes.
It turned out that The Patriot was nowhere near as dull as Lord of the Rings.
I watched it twice. First time was with my job at the time who decided we should all go waste a Thursday night (the company paid for the tickets). To be honest I started snoring about 20 minutes into the movie and was nudged on the shoulder to wake up when there was a 15 minute break in the movie. Then fell asleep immediately again waking up when the credits came on. It was that entertaining to me.
Before I'd watched it, I had promised Dullface (this was when we were still sort of seeing each other socially) that I'd go watch it with him. He had missed his chance to see it with a group of co-workers so I said OK. I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't. Let's just say it was a very expensive and quite uncomfortable nap.
Probably the most ridiculous movie I've watched in a very long time. Granted I haven't watched it for about 8 years.
Anyway, I watched it both times with Maria. It was basically the same situation as with The Patriot where there's wasn't much else going on. Granted this was more enjoyable because the second time we were laughing through most of it. Ah, the memories! First Date Film
My first date film was Jurassic Park. A bunch of us from school went to see it. The late screening at 9.20pm so a pick up after the film was over had been arranged by our parents. I didn't want to go at first. Mostly because I knew I'd have nightmares from watching it and then because it was with school 'mates' who I had pretty bad experiences with during the day. So why would I want to go hang out with them in the evening. It would be common sense to not go.
Common sense went out the window when a boy who lived close to me asked me what I was doing on that Thursday evening. I told him, and he asked if he could come with me. 'To protect me'. I laughed. He insisted and my mother got him in. Of course they didn't know what was going on. We'd gotten tickets a little further back from everyone else because I'd brought 'an outsider'. Apparently that was frowned upon. Still, we had a good time holding hands in the darkness of the theatre. I bought it on VHS tape in 1998 and rewatched it because there are parts I didn't watch the first time and that's all I have to say about that. Nightmares from Films
I never had nightmares from Jurassic Park, which is a bit strange but maybe I was looking elsewhere through most of that film. What did give me nightmares was Scream. It was the first and only horror movie I'd watched up until then. That night I was with Dullface and a straight guy (let's call him H) who I had a huge crush on and actually had fooled around with a bit a couple of years earlier.
--- an aside--
My experience has always been that 3 is a crowd. Everytime there were two people and me, I ended up getting clobbered. If not physically then at least mentally. Every time I'd end up being at the bad end of some sick prank or joke. So I rarely went to anything knowing we would be 3 (or more for that matter).
--- aside over--
It was going pretty ok. Then the other two wanted to watch a movie, and of course H pulled out a copy of Scream. Instead of leaving, I sat there watching it all. Then of course they had a lot of fun scaring the shit out of me througout the movie and said they'd follow me on my walk home and jump out at me. As I had to walk past the forest and every second lamp post was turned off I was scared to death walking home. I heard my own footsteps and so I ran thinking I was being followed. It was just really unpleasant. Obviously they didn't follow me. I slept with the lights on for 4 days.
Films that are Guilty Pleasures
So many guilty pleasures, so little time! I am going to limit myself to four films.
I watched this at the theatre but I can't recall who I watched it with. I think I was staring too much at George Clooney's crotch to notice anything else. I later bought it on VHS and loved every minute of the campy goodness. I still say it's the best Batman movie ever made. It has George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell in tight outfits, Uma Thurman in tiny little nothing outfits and loads of makeup. Camp dialogue and Arnold Schwarzenegger dancing in furry bear slippers. What's not to love!
So ridiculously bad it's good. Bad computer effects, bad acting, bad dialogue, horrible story and Sharon Stone. Not like that's anything new for Sharon Stone of course. After Basic Instinct 2 I'll believe anything.
I watched this at the theatre with my bestest friend evah and we laughed throughout the entire thing. Of course he thought it was dire. I see it as camptastic. Potatoe/potatoe I suppose. Just had to get the DVD.
This is actually comedy genius combined with catchy (and very popular) pop songs. I love how kitchy it is and how you can easily spot the movie mistakes in this one and believe me, there are plenty. Usually you have to have a good eye to notice some of the movie mistakes but not in this. To be honest I think they kept them in to give this movie a new dimension. Like in the Airplane! movies. I watched this movie with Dullface. He wanted to see it as much as I did, so one day we rocked popped up at the theatre at 6pm (there were no later screenings of this one. We wondered why) and stood in line to get our tickets. Then we were seated in the tiny screening room and we were the oldest patrons who weren't escorted by adults.
Also, I was the only one laughing throughout the movie. I guess some people just have no sense of humour.
We missed this one at the theatre. It only played for one week in the tiny screening room. I still don't know why. It was camptastic, kick arse action and as a gayer I still say there's something about Pamela Anderson and her boobs. Loved everything about it and bought the special edition VHS tape. Yes there was a special edition, and it was a £25 import in 1997. To this day, I still love it and I have it on DVD.
Last Film I Saw at the Theatre
I have started expanding my horizons when it comes to films. To be honest I don't care for Danish movies except the really old ones from the 1920s and up to about 1969 or so. Some of the new ones can be alright but most are dire. That said, I accepted an invitation to go with colleagues to see SuperClásico which is part Danish and part South American. It's about a man who has taken his son with him to South America to try and get his wife back. She's run off with a dishy football player and a career. This is his journey.
It's probably one of the most f*cked up movies I've ever watched. Weirdly funny and kind of depressing all at the same time.
I'm not sure I'll be good at selling this. I'd never watched it but decided to buy it anyway because it stars Sandra Bullock, Liam Neeson and Oliver Platt and it's about a DEA agent who starts undergoing therapy who then goes to Sandra Bullock for a little cleansing where she utters the famous (or it should be) line "Hi, I'm Judy Tipp and I'll be doing your enema" or something to that effect.
Two if by Sea or the Danish title Stole Hearts (yes that is the translation, no Danish words there)
Another one I bought without having watched it. I didn't expect it to be any good, but it was surprisingly witty. Dennis Leary takes his girlfriend on a job (he steals things) and it all goes tits up.
Please, please, please watch the clip here ! You may actually like it.
This is a really good political thriller. I saw a review of this on TV when it came out and thought I'd have to watch it. Since it never made it to our two screening room theatre, I had to buy it once it came out. I get goosebumps just watching the trailer. It's THAT good.
You should all do this meme and let me know in the comments that you've done it.
Now, come on everyone! All together now. "ISN'T HE BLOODY HOME YET?". Maybe..
My mother always said, "If you have nothing to say, say nothing". Apparently she was quoting Mark Twain. Well, I never quite learned this always making some kind of comeback, even if it was only one word.
In that honour, I've decided to continue my introduction in this "one word" meme.
1. Where is your cell phone? Repairs
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend? Single
3. Your hair? Brown
4. Your mother? Lush
5. Your father? Quiet
6. Your favourite item? iPhone
7. Your dream last night? Naughty
8. Your favourite drink? Piña Colada
9. Your dream car? Beetle
10. The room you are in? Linvingroom
11. Your ex? Happy
12. Your fear? Unemployment
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Cohabitating
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Myself
15. What you're not? Well
16. The last thing you did? Tweet
17. What are you wearing? Pants
18. Your favourite book? The Snow Garden
19. The last thing you ate? Bread
20. Your life? Short
21. Your mood? Sad
22. Your friends? Worldwide
23. What are you thinking about right now? Dynasty
24. Your car? non-existing
25. What are you doing at the moment? Dynasty
26. Your summer? Working
27. What is on your TV? Dynasty
28. When is the last time you laughed? Wednesday
29. Last time you cried? Thursday
30. School? Nightmare
Someone might think or even say, isn't he bloody home yet, but no. Apparently not.
