There's a glitch in the matrix

You know the feeling of blissfully positioned on your sofa wrapped in duvets, eating cake and drinking your fourth latte of the day at 11am thinking you should probably get dressed and go tidy up your kitchen and the next second you're watching something rather on Netflix and having completely forgotten what you were going to do?

I do. It's like someone upstairs is playing The Humans (read The Sims) and keeps cancelling my actions. I did that when I played The Sims and they started doing things on their own. I was a complete control freak. Anyway I digress.

I've always been aware that whenever I step out of the door I would be guided or if you're in the know, nudged to do what corporations, the government - don't worry, this isn't a weirdo conspiracy theory post - and authorities want us to do or act. Take for example the supermarket where groceries are strategically placed and you're gently if not so subtly nudged or shoved through the store so you put as many of the things you didn't need and the supermarket makes the most money selling into your basket.

The airport is another excellent example of how we are gently nudged by strategically placed signs and props. They aren't necessarily placed where it would make the most sense but that's because humans are a funny species. Free will is both disrupting and annoying. Just remember the last time you went to the airport to go somewhere and you encountered one of those who just walks around and queues like they are in their own little world - which certainly isn't on this earth - and waits until the last possible moment to remove their iPads and laptops, their hand luggage, didn't prepare their bags of liquids, remove belts and shoes and can't seem to find one of their kids.

The ones that most certainly took the red pill when offered. I digress. Again.

I'm blissfully aware and accept the nudging. It works fine for me. Mr. Anderson isn't chasing me yet and even if he did, I do like a man in a well-tailored suit. Tom Ford has done miracles for Daniel Craig in Spectre and Skyfall. Do check him, erm. IT out.

I also kind of accept - albeit it being a little bit spooky - being chased around the great Internet by ads of the fabulous shoes I've been checking out a few times. The price may not change but my level of willpower may and thanks to this slightly aggressive advertising has made sure I've got a couple of fabulous pairs of shoes in my collection. Still, I pretended to have swallowed the blue pill for breakfast. What is it they say, ignorance is bliss?

Then it started. The there was a flicker in the corner of my eye. It's happened before. There was that time when the Disney movie Frozen came out. It was everywhere. I didn't watch it. It was mentioned on the news. It went on streaming services. Friends talked about it. Friends with kids talked about it. Everyone raved about it. I avoided it like the plague. I kind of wanted to see what the fuss was about when the sequel came out and people were still going on about it. I did not watch it. Luckily it went away.

Same happened with that Breaking Bad show which even got a spin-off show, something Saul. Netflix, the news, entertainment industry, friends and family have been trying to force this thing down my throat for way too long. They've been working on me harder than 49 year old man alone in the bar with the last woman standing at 4am for last call.

I did give in with that awful political show where they wouldn't stop talking. I can't for the life of me remember what it's called but it had Kevin Spacey in it until he was fired because he's been a very bad man. A bad man that some people think should go to jail for his alleged actions. There, you can't sue me for that. I hope. Anyway, terribly dull show. I slept like a baby through the first 3 episodes. That was 34 hours of blissful sleep. Felt like it anyway. I digress again. I should stay on point.

I found myself in a room today seeing the entire matrix disappear for a few seconds. I realised that I am being controlled. My viewing habits are not my own.  They are whatever Netflix wants me to watch and clearly they want me to watch Tiger King.

Newsflash - if you're reading this Netflix - I DON'T WANT TO WATCH TIGER KING!

So, yes send in Mr. Anderson and his suity crew. Netflix has been flogging this dead horse (Tiger) at me since it was released. Number one suggestion, featured item, recommended for you and as it is with these pandemics - everyone's an expert on those these days - they spread. Outside of Netflix my friends are talking about Tiger King. On Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (I know, that's lame) and it's being brought up in conversation. The entertainment industry is writing about who will be cast in the movie because apparently there will be a feature film about it too.

Tiger King is trash. It's tacky. It's stupidity incarnate. I don't need to watch any of it to know this. I don't want to watch it.

I've consciously made the decision not to watch it. Instead I spent a good hour today breaking the matrix. I scrolled through the drivel and heavily advertised stuff only to find a movie starring Glenn Close called What Happened to Monday. It was worth it.

Break the chain, take the red pill. Be that annoying person at the airport once we're let out again and do what is right. Say no to Tiger King.

Watch What Happened to Monday.

Oh, so it did turn out to be a weirdo conspiracy post after all.

Anyway, watch What Happened to Monda