Thursday, April 02, 2009

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts goes to.....

This is it isn't it? The moment we've all been waiting for - and for far too long. After many a sleepless night and far too many tantrums the winner of

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition

has been found. All your submissions were printed out, divided into piles and from there, started to eliminate until I was forced to realise it was even harder than I thought. You were all brilliant, and if I could I'd send The Shorts to all of you, but I can't. A winner must be found, and so I ventured on. As you were all brilliant I don't want to single out some of you and not mention others (who were equally brilliant) but to stretch this post for all it's worth, I have to.

There were the straight (tee-hee!) to the point captions like this one

mago: Two minutes.

There were the long stories like this one

Tatas: One day Little Cyberpete got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny.
Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was.
Johnny's face grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

The fashion critic (everyone's a critic eh? *eye roll* Tee-hee!)

Ponita: Looking down, CyberPete realized the havoc created by his glittery period had thrown his fashion sense for a total loop. What could he have been thinking.... pairing his lovely pink pumps with those Freakin' Green Elf Shorts! The red waistband totally clashed... he should have worn his ruby pumps instead.

The musical ones (pinching some Kylie, that's some coincident yeah?)

Donn Coppens:
And did I forget to mention,
that I found a new infection,
And it leaks blue SEE!
I'm spinning around...

The movie references

sEa: CyberPete sighs with great relief realizing that she will not have to confess her clandestine affair with Legolas (or was it Will Farrell) to the Elven High Council."

The imposters (I would love to see Tim win though)

Tim 'I really covet those 'Shorts' Leng: 'Petra looked down in horror at the discarded undergarments he'd stepped in. This was the last time he was having that unruly pixie-of-pop, Kylie, to stay.

The anonymous (I know who you are bitch!)

Anonymous: "All that glitters is not gold,but where that came from it's hideously old"

*sips a wee sip of Jamesons*

The ones who didn't want to enter the compo (aww.....)

eroswings: The Elf critic review of the Mariah Carey movie, Glitter!

Tim: It quickly became apparent that all that glitters really IS NOT gold.

Oh my! These are brilliant. Does it get any better than this? Well.... here are the contenders for

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

The first 9 entries are in no particular order as they deserve to be recognised for being fabulous and (some of the 10 most brilliant entries)

mago: Two minutes.

Tara: Only CyberPete knew where the stolen diamonds were really hidden.

savannah: "well, where DID you think angel dust came from, darling?"

INNER VOICES: "what would you do for a klondike bar?"

mutleythedog: What does the loo roll look like I wonder?

FirstNations: I was wearing them. sorry *kicks pumps off and staggers away*"I must be geting on in years," thought cyberpete as he gazed sadly down at the evidence "...all I did was sneeze."

Random Chick: "Miley Cyrus finally enters puberty."

Famulus: Euw, I'm not snorting that!

Jorge Porge: "I would have thought that elfs used mini pads"

breakerslion: "Moments the Sisterhood try not to think about."

Oh gosh! Weren't they brilliant?!? I bet you are wondering what could possibly top that, but one person kept going and going and going.... You get the point, and they all had me in stitches (except the sober tran caption. I recent being called sober!). That person was none other than our very own Homo Erec...sorry,


With the caption

Hey Sailor, mi Curaçao es su Curaçao u like?



However, this is not it though. I have one more thing to pass out, I have something special for someone very special who didn't participate. You wonder who and what it is.

T-Birdy come and claim your prize! - and because it's your lucky day, I'll throw in a little something extra.


Now Mr. Donn Coppens and Miss T-Birdy please email me at to claim your prize.

Thank you everyone for playing, and I hope you will all come play again if I should find myself in possession of said Shorts or something else (tutu anyone?) to auction off to the most entertaining captionist.


  1. The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts return to Canada!

    YAY DONN!!!

  2. You know Donn's in Mexico right now, don't you?

    If you'd got it together earlier, he could have been wearing TFGES in Mexico! And taken photos!

  3. Wuhoo! The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts are coming to The Peg!!!

    Congratulations to Donn!

  4. Congratulations Mr Coppens!!

  5. congratulations, donn! when will you be posting pictures? mmmm green elf shorts and a red velvet tie!!! bring it on! xoxox

    well done contest, petey-pet! xoxox

  6. Congratulations, Donn!

    And great job on the competition CP! Now you're part of the elite who've worn the Shorts!

    *Prepares for the influx of Canadian refugees fleeing from the return of the Shorts*

  7. Yay, Donn gets them just in time for Spring!

    Oh Hai MJ!
    Oh Hai Ponita!

  8. Congratulations!
    To all involved, especially to CyberPete and very especially to DOnnn, who should crash in sometimes next week.

  9. Congraulations, Donn! Can't wait to see the snaps!

  10. A worthy winner - just in time for spring in Winnipeg.
    I wonder if he'll be readiing this in Mexico - Hi Donn if you are.

  11. Well done donn.

    CP: Your worries about the F.G.E.S is now over and you've done so well. So what was all that worrying about when I sent them to you? Congrates on a job well done.

  12. Well, if he pairs the FGES with his red tie, at least he will be coordinated...

    *looks askance at CP*

    You did a great job with the contest, CP... very creative, especially the Prophecies!

  13. MJ: I'm aware of the fact, yes.

    I'm a little jealous, and now stop your naughty thoughts. It's not like he would walk around ala Bingowings on the beach in them

    Ponita and Scarlet: Yay! He did do well.

    Savannah: Thank you, as did you!

    Bingowings: You'd think having MJ would be enough wouldn't you.

    Thank you, I feel oddly proud.

    XL: Hai XL!

    Yes he does. Do you think he'll be doing something naughty?

    Mago: Thank you so much, and you were brilliant too.

    Ubermouth & KAZ: Definately a worthy winner. I can't wait to see what he'll come up with.

    Tatas: They were plenty I tell you. Thanks, I am happy it's for the most part over. I had no clue what to do and then all of a sudden this came into my mind.

    Ponita: Thanks dear, you know the prophecies are stolen from Revelations something to do with the bible I believe.

    You don't think it could be on purpose that I didn't pick another pair of shoes? I hope he won't be coordinated.

  14. Yes, you might very well want to see me in the shorts, but it ain't gonna happen!

  15. Awwww. Pretty please?

  16. Congratulations Donnnnnn!

    And thank the gods those infamous 'Shorts will be leaving fair Europe for another continent once more. We can all breath a sigh of relief.

    Although, I feel somewhat robbed of the chance of seeing Tim in The 'Shorts...

  17. I know, but he would have never given me his address if I declared him winner

  18. He might not have, but I would!

  19. Poor Tim.
    Its like a stalkers convention in here
    Congrats Donn :-)

  20. I fear I might have to go into some sort of witness protection program.

  21. You have his postal address?

  22. This is The Shorts FOURTH time in Canada!


  23. OMG!!! There's a prize for wanting to be a drag queen/gayboy???


  24. ooo, ooo, oooo, i was mentioned!!!!! my elation knows no bounds...

    conga...rats, coppers!

  25. *reads comments*

    I don't know, CP. Maybe we'll be lucky and Donn will don the shorts a la Eros fashion - butt naked.

    Hey, a girl can dream, right?

  26. O M G!

    This is a great day for the little guy. Never give up on your dreams. To think that some nobody like me can persevere and keep hoping against hope that someday the shorts could be mine..well it's all too much.

    I am truly humbled...and I just got back from Mayheeko and I can't think straight..but as soon as I sober up enough I'll make preparations for the transfer of the amazing FGES.

    Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999!