Sunday, May 03, 2009

Plastic Fantastic - Dynasty Edition

I believe in makeup, botox, hell I belive in plastic surgery. The invasive kind too. There is nothing wrong with correcting something you don't like about yourself. If you've got the money and the courage, I say go for it!

Ok, confession time! I used to watch the Extreme Makeover (not Home Edition, because that makes you cry) show where they'd pick one or two really insanely unfortunate looking women. I mean seriously, you wouldn't believe it. How some of these women had found a husband and managed to become mothers, I'll never know - or want to know, but I digress. They'd take these women and make them see the same plastic surgeons, dentists and stylists and in the end they'd all end up looking the same. Like on that beauty pageant show called The Swan. I mean identical teeth, boobs, nose and hair. Everything. Except the outfit though. It got to be a little creepy so I stopped watching it. They were all like Frankenwomen.

Still I believe in all of that. You don't have to end up with the same nose as everyone else, or the same eyebrows, teeth or boobs. It all comes down to picking the right surgeon. That's a mighty difficult thing to do. Many of the Hollywood stars, the glamourama of music and soaps have been looking for years and the results are well, varied.

Say, let's look at the women of Dynasty. The Vixens of the 80s soaps. We remember the slutty black widow Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan aka. Miss Joan Collins (or Joanie to her friends, like moi), or the almost always faithful ex stenographer Krystle Grant Jennings Carrington aka. Linda Evans (the quarterback at their corporate football games) or the crossover (from The Colbys) vixen Sable Scott Colby aka. Miss Stephanie Beacham (another dear, dear friend of course). Let's see how they've faired since the golden age of catfights and caviar.






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Oh my. Look at all that red! Miss Joanie looks like a madam at at saloon and Linda looks well, like a man. Still, focus on their faces. This was then, and......





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That's now. While you can see they've both had work done, I have to ask. What the hell happened to Linda! She went from tranny to clown. Besides, the same hairstyle as you had 20 years ago? It's really starting to creep me out.

Now onto Miss Stephanie Beacham. Well she started out on Dynasty looking like this.




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Yes, we love her here at Sayhey. We adore Miss Stephanie Beacham! Then two years ago she walked onto the floor of Strictly Come Dancing looking like this.



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She actually looks better these days, and I doubt she's even had anything done. Except maybe possibly a bit of botox in her forehead. But shuuuuush! Don't tell anyone.

It's all about finding the right plastic surgeon. Not just for you, but someone who actually knows what they are doing so you won't end up with wonky boobs like Posh Spice or with a face like, well, this.


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Happy hunting! Whatever you do. Be careful.

17 comments:

  1. You don't just love Miss Stephanie Beacham.

    You ARE Miss Stephanie Beacham.

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  2. Miss Steph....um, I have no comments

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  3. Stephanie Beacham is now in Coronation Street. Lucky Ken Barlow.
    Sx

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  4. It comes down to picking the right nose.
    Sx

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  5. Oh, and thanks MISS SCARLET for the Corrie spoiler!

    We are NINE MONTHS BEHIND THE UK EPISODES, HERE IN THE COLONIES!

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  6. WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHO DIES AS WELL?

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  7. Scarlet: Yes she is, and apparently she may be leaving again.

    Scarlet: and not eating whatever you find in there.

    MJ: Yes, you have a wonky nose.

    MJ: Ooooops! Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned that thing to Scarlet then.

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  8. I'm going to have nightmares thinking about Linda Evans…

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  9. It's like Pennywise isn't it?

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  10. Apologies for the Corrie spoiler, but honestly I can't wait for you to see it... Corrie just gets better and better...
    Sx

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  11. But from Dynasty to Corrie eh? Fab actress. She'll turn up in Dr Who next.
    Sx

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  12. Oh god I hope so!

    You know Kate O'Mara was in both Dynasty and Doctor Who

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  13. In the 'now' photo I worry about Joanie's left shoulder - the dress seems to have a shoulder of its own.
    Stephanie Beacham can still move her face about a bit - which is more than can be said for Ken Barlow.

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  14. Is that Gary from Take Thats father or something?

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  15. Yeah, um, Linda and Joan look like drag queens in the second pic...If you luv drama and outrageous plots and plastic surgery, you should watch Nip/Tuck!

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  16. Well... I could get into Julian McMahon or whatever his name is (he was married to Kylies sister for a while)

    Or a guy could try...

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