Waking up the day after MJs pool party. A party with much drama. Broken hearts and finger nails.
What? I'm just trying to be the bigger person here. Besides, he isn't wearing an orange T-shirt.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Dirty Disco Boys
There I was, just going to MJs Pool Party.
I spent my time having a few drinks at the bar. Just flirting with the nice bartender. At one point we were out on the dancefloor. The gorgous neon lights hitting the disco balls in the ceiling just right. The music was loud.
The next thing I know.
BAM!
POW!
UUUUMPF!
BANG!
And I was on the floor curled up in a ball. All I could see was an older man wearing an orange and silver T-shirt snickering. He put his arm around my bartenders neck and they walked off together.
MJ, the lovely host that she was, helped me to the ladies to regroup.
I looked in the mirror.
I spent my time having a few drinks at the bar. Just flirting with the nice bartender. At one point we were out on the dancefloor. The gorgous neon lights hitting the disco balls in the ceiling just right. The music was loud.
The next thing I know.
BAM!
POW!
UUUUMPF!
BANG!
And I was on the floor curled up in a ball. All I could see was an older man wearing an orange and silver T-shirt snickering. He put his arm around my bartenders neck and they walked off together.
MJ, the lovely host that she was, helped me to the ladies to regroup.
I looked in the mirror.
You should see the other guy.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
You try wearing these heels
It's been a while since I wrote a post about shoes. I love shoes. Shoes are fabulous, or at least they can be. Still sometimes you challenge yourself to wear the most fabulous shoes that go with a certain outfit where you aren't completely sure you can pull them off. Then once you've worn and danced in them at least 51 times something happens. It's not that you can't walk and dance in them. It's just that one time when all eyes are on you, something happens and you fall.
It's always at the most inopportune time. The night when your show gets filmed for TV and an upcoming DVD.
The shoes don't stop here though. We've got a few more pairs for you. Well, two of them are boots. Still you think, "I want to be a cheerleader yet I don't want to wear those dreadful sneakers". What's a girl to do?
Yes, that's right. You add a 5 inch heel and keep the laces. Fabulous. Now you can dance your heart out. Looking fabulously sexy and not feel selfconscious about not been the tallest girl in the group. Nice.
Then comes the boots. I love boots if they have a nice heel on the. None of those wrinkly purple pleather boots with kitten heels. I struggle to say it's all or nothing. Because no heel makes you look like you are on your way out shovelling snow. So it's nice when you see a bright red silk thigh high boot with a big heel on someone who may be dancing at night but she surely isn't a lady of the night.
If you thought that was fabulous, how about these fabulous black ones?
Granted they aren't for everyone, or every outfit. Still with the right outfit, like the one in that photo you don't end up looking like you are selling your arse for a tenner.
Still be careful out there. Keep confident, find a style that works for you and work it. If you do end up falling, make a quick recovery. Then if someone stares, do the snicker and sneer at their Reeboks.
It's always at the most inopportune time. The night when your show gets filmed for TV and an upcoming DVD.
What a quick recovery!
You try wearing these heels!
The shoes don't stop here though. We've got a few more pairs for you. Well, two of them are boots. Still you think, "I want to be a cheerleader yet I don't want to wear those dreadful sneakers". What's a girl to do?
Yes, that's right. You add a 5 inch heel and keep the laces. Fabulous. Now you can dance your heart out. Looking fabulously sexy and not feel selfconscious about not been the tallest girl in the group. Nice.
Then comes the boots. I love boots if they have a nice heel on the. None of those wrinkly purple pleather boots with kitten heels. I struggle to say it's all or nothing. Because no heel makes you look like you are on your way out shovelling snow. So it's nice when you see a bright red silk thigh high boot with a big heel on someone who may be dancing at night but she surely isn't a lady of the night.
If you thought that was fabulous, how about these fabulous black ones?
Granted they aren't for everyone, or every outfit. Still with the right outfit, like the one in that photo you don't end up looking like you are selling your arse for a tenner.
Still be careful out there. Keep confident, find a style that works for you and work it. If you do end up falling, make a quick recovery. Then if someone stares, do the snicker and sneer at their Reeboks.
Friday, August 29, 2008
English for dummies
My mother is retired. She decided to retire 3 ago when she turned 60. A year before her 60th birthday she took a measuring tape and hung it in the kitchen. Then every day until the day she retired, she cut a ½ centimeter off. Counting down to the day she could retire. My dad retired twice before she did. They had saved up enough so they could, and continue living in their house. Their plan was to do all the things they'd never gotten around to before. Travelling more was a big deal as well as gardening. They've never been more busy than they are now.
Still with all the travelling they have done and hope to do in the future my mother thinks her English is lacking somewhat. Although it's mostly her written English she's started to improve. Finally she signed up for a 2 year course for the over 60 with homework and finals and everything. She had to sign a piece of paper promising she'll do the finals.
This is where I come in. She called me. Apparently she had a few questions and we also briefly touched upon the subject of plural words. We talked about how "goods" is always plural and how if you need to say that you've got one of something you can use "article". Then it became a little advanced because I decided to confuse her a little. I told her about the word "ox" and how in plural it's "oxen" like "goose" becomes "geese" if there are more than one. It was fun, and a little mean.
When she hung up I got to thinking about these words and remembered my favorite Canadian animal.
Two? And no, my mother is a posh woman and she'd never make that sort of remark MJ.
Still with all the travelling they have done and hope to do in the future my mother thinks her English is lacking somewhat. Although it's mostly her written English she's started to improve. Finally she signed up for a 2 year course for the over 60 with homework and finals and everything. She had to sign a piece of paper promising she'll do the finals.
This is where I come in. She called me. Apparently she had a few questions and we also briefly touched upon the subject of plural words. We talked about how "goods" is always plural and how if you need to say that you've got one of something you can use "article". Then it became a little advanced because I decided to confuse her a little. I told her about the word "ox" and how in plural it's "oxen" like "goose" becomes "geese" if there are more than one. It was fun, and a little mean.
When she hung up I got to thinking about these words and remembered my favorite Canadian animal.
The moose. It's looks so stupid that I can't help but love it.
This animal is called a Moose. It's just like the Goose, just with an M. Obviously in the world of biology the difference is a bit more obvious.
My mother knew the word "Moose" and so my question to her was of course.
What happens when there are....
Two? And no, my mother is a posh woman and she'd never make that sort of remark MJ.She had heard of "goose" and the plural "geese" so her natural response was..
One moose, two meese. It makes sense. Why would you change the rules on us.
"No mother, that's not right!"
Well "Moxen" sounds ridiculous.
"Yes it does, that's not it either"
The plural of "moose" is "moose".
"Huh?"
I know!
Somebody should do something about that. I like it better as "Meese" or even "Moxen". I can just hear Richard Attenborough go "...and we are out here in Moose Jaw and look! There are two moxen [or meese] right over there!"
I think it's a winner.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Let's google!
I can't imagine what my life would be without blogpatrol.com and how I ever survived without it. It's so informative. There are things one would rather not know though. Still it's facinating to see how people find my blog. The google searches prove to be hilarious entertainment. Well more for other bloggers I'm sure but I still have a bit of a laugh at mine though.
The olympics did well for my blog, and I've had more traffic that I've ever had before, I'm sure of it. People from China, Poland, Germany, Spain, Switzerland, Portugal, Sweden, France, Denmark (lot's of people heh), Australia, the US, Britland and of course Canada.
The searches have been mostly about the 49er drama at the Olympics but I'm a little shocked about some of the searches though.
The olympics did well for my blog, and I've had more traffic that I've ever had before, I'm sure of it. People from China, Poland, Germany, Spain, Switzerland, Portugal, Sweden, France, Denmark (lot's of people heh), Australia, the US, Britland and of course Canada.
The searches have been mostly about the 49er drama at the Olympics but I'm a little shocked about some of the searches though.
- matthew mitcham last dive video metacafe
- spanish women's synchronized swimming uniforms
- sexy little girls in leotards
- gymnastics leotard bulge
- mens diving 10m speedo bulge
- platform diving nipple
At least I'm not getting Pa Ingalls wang unlike a certain birthday girl Dinah (yesterday)
Monday, August 25, 2008
About a boy part 5
You may remember this? Guess what, the saga continues.
Perry was sitting outside the school kitched alone waiting for the teacher and his classmates to get there. It was his last two classes of the day and then there was only one more day before weekend. He couldn't wait. The cooking classes were fine although the school kitchen was disgusting. Actually, he only liked the cooking part of it. Since the teacher had a bizarre obsession with spam he never ate anything there. His mother had also told him not to, because she was sure he'd get hepatitis or AIDS or something. It wasn't until he'd had his first sexual education class a week earlier that he'd heard about AIDS. Before that he though it was food poisioning. Of course he hadn't asked if he could get AIDS in the school kitchen because Perry was too shy to say anything. Besides his teacher, who had kept scratching his beard the entire time, had said that one could get gonorrhea in the throat so why not AIDS.
The bell disturbed his thinking and his classmates came storming towards the door just in time for the teacher to open the door. The teacher, a woman in her late 40s was the same teacher he had in 4 other subjects and she'd also taught John, his big brother when he went to the school. Perry walked into the school kitchen last as usual, or second last. The new boy was trying to look invisible behind him. The new boy smiled at Perry as he made his way towards the table with the popular boys. "Oh great" Perry thought to himself, "another one". He walked towards the girls table where he usually hung out. Up until now he had been pretty popular with the girls. They'd hang out after school playing with Barbie dolls. Perrys collection was ever growing and some of the girls had been quite jealous. Still now, at age 14 things had changed. He was alone, surrounded by his former friends. Now they giggled talking about Thomas, the attractive football player with the killer smile. Perry liked Thomas but he couldn't remember ever speaking to him except the time when one of Thomas friends had held him down and his other friend had painted Perry all over his face with a permanent marker. Thomas had come over and apologised afterwards. That was at the beginning of the year. It was now spring and the summer holidays were coming up. Finally.
The new boy seemed to fit in at the popular table. He laughed at the right times and smiled at the girls next to Perry. It made Perry want to cry. He just wanted to be noticed by someone besides the hag teaching the class. Perry was an excellent cook, his mother had taught him everything she knew and he liked it. Besides cooking spam meals didn't require a lot of talent. When the bell rang, they were dismissed. He took his time packing up his school bag and walking out of the school kitchen. With any luck the others were half way to the bike sheds by now.
He was surprised when he walked into the open air. The new boy was standing by the door waiting. Perry wondered who he was waiting for, but dismissed the thought and nodded as he walked past. He had no idea what his name was, the new boy had just started the other day and it had been very unlikely he'd want to be friends with the class loser. The new boy ran after Perry. "Hey! wait up!" he yelled. Perry froze and a million images ran through his mind, most included Perry with his head down the toilet. The new boy caught up and introduced himself as David. David then asked if he was doing anything that afternoon. Perry thought for a moment, his mother was at work pretending to work late for covering up her appointments to a psychiatrist and his dad wouldn't be home until 8pm on Thursdays. "No, I've just got to do my homework though" Perry said. David smiled, revealing beautiful white teeth, "can we go to your place? My place is still a bit of a mess with moving boxes everywhere". Perry showed the way. They walked together talking about this and that.
By the time they had reached the church, Perry relaxed. He had been expecting that his classmates had been up to something, using the new boy. Perry hadn't brought home any friends in about a year. In fact he liked it better that way, especially as he made a pretty good impression with parents and his mother Angela rarely made a good impression with the people he brought home. He showed David into his room while he went to make sure the door to Seans room was closed. The shrine to his dead brother was too intense for everyone, especially on a first visit. David quickly started playing with some Lego that was scattered on the floor. Thankfully he'd cleaned up his Barbie stuff a few days ago and Perry had quite liked playing with Legos.
They sat for hours playing and assembling Lego cars, houses, castles and they'd just started building a pizzaria when his mother knocked on the door. Angela didn't wait for an answer, she opened the door and peeked inside. Angela nearly fell over when she saw that the other voice wasn't just Perry pretending to be his Ken doll Marc. She quickly introduced herself and excused herself again retreating to the living room where she made herself a dirty martini. For a while she was shocked, then she was happy and then she realised that David would probably not come back for a second visit. Angela didn't know if she was too sad about that, she much prefered the house was as free of kids as possible and if Perry was alone he wouldn't get hurt by anyone. After all it took such an effort for her to pretend to care. David left around 6pm.
Kenneth didn't come home until after Perry had gone to sleep. Angela had waited up for her husband but had finally gone to bed around midnight with a book and a dirty martini. He came in looking very tired. As he stripped off his clothes and went to bed, Angela turned off her reading lamp and turned over. She was in no mood to talk to him when clearly he had given up on their marriage. Staying out doing lord knows what until this late while she was at home taking care of house and home.
Time flew by for Perry and before he knew it, the summer holidays had started. Every day David had come home with him after school and they'd played computer games on his Commodore Amiga 2000 as well as played with Legos. Angela had finally warmed up a bit to David and it had become a ritual that she brought home something nice for lunch after work. They'd sit together the 3 of them in the kitchen and eat, talking about this and that. David had a brother who was blind and he only came home to stay with them every other weekend. He was excited though, because this summer he would stay for two weeks. His brother was at a special school for the blind where he lived. It surprised her, but Angela liked David. He was a good boy, the sort of boy she would have wanted herself. Exactly like Sean had been. A good boy who was genuine and he was also devastatingly handsome and charming.
The summer was coming on strong. Angela and Kenneth were taking Perry with them to Rimini in Italy in a few weeks. John had been asked by he didn't want to go, he was just happy to live on his own and not be forced to behave around Perry. His deal with Perry about leaving him alone and no beating him up had come to an end when he'd moved out. John had kept the diary of Seans. Nobody except John knew what was in it, their parents had still no clue it had been found. Perry had asked his mother if they could take David instead. They couldn't.
The two of them had been almost inseparable going for walks around the lake, going swimming in the lake and hanging out in their garden. His parents had no clue that Perry had gone swimming in the lake, or walked to the lake. That was forbidden because of the main road he had to pass to get there. Still what Angela didn't know, didn't hurt her. Perry liked David a lot, they understood each other. It was strange because Perry never felt the same way when he was around anyone else, but when he was around David things were just. Wonderful.
Then the day before the family went to Rimini came. David had come over so they could go swimming in the lake one last time before Perry went to Italy. Perry was home alone because Angela had dragged Kenneth into town because she needed a new beach outfit. They eventually left for the lake and they also managed to get home before his parents. It was a little risky but it was exciting. They were sitting on Perrys bed talking with the door closed. "You are a bit of a dork, you know that?" said David all of a sudden. Perry looked at David "well you must be too, wanting to hang out with me" he said. David then jumped on top of Perry and started tickling him. Perry was very ticklish and laughed and squirmed with David now straddling him. Perry pushed David a little trying in vain to get him to roll over but he was too strong. David had a big grin on his face and let go of one of Perrys hands still stradding him.
It was completely quiet and then Perry pushed a little to get free, not noticing where he was pushing. David looked very surprised when he saw Perry touching his crotch. He smiled and Perry blushed and pulled his hand back. David didn't say anything, he let go of Perry and rolled off him. He was now on his side right next to Perry. Perry could feel Davids breath on his neck and he tensed a little. For what seemed an eternity they just lay there not saying anything. Then Perry turned his head to face David. They were only inches from each other, looking into each others eyes. David had green eyes and blonde hair and he smelled of peppermint and fresh sweat.
Perry had never been this close to another person before, except when they were beating him up at school. It was nice, he reached out and touched a little scar on Davids neck. Within a couple of minutes he moved his hand down and ran his fingers over his chest and stomach. David closed his eyes and smiled. After a few minutes David put his hand under Perrys shirt and did the same, they lay there for a bit touching each other saying nothing. Perry had never felt anything like that before, he couldn't think straight, he heard nothing, all there was in the room was David. David moved closer and kissed Perry on the cheek, then moved his hand down his trousers. They were so close and Perry copied Davids move. They kissed, on the mouth. It was Perrys first kiss and it felt like nothing he'd ever experienced. He was equally surprised how big David had become and shocked that his own had gotten so large. It had never been that big before.
It was completely quiet in the house, and David started unzipping Perrys trousers, then his own. They lay there looking down at each other. Then Perry did something he had never imagined doing. He moved his head down there. David moaned and started playing with Perrys hair. Perry tried not to make a noise. His mother had always told him it was impolite to talk with his mouth full. Then all of a sudden David opened his eyes and pulled Perry away. A car had just driven up to the house. They quickly put their trousers back on, ran over and booted the computer.
Minutes later Angela came in, all smiles offering David to stay for lunch. It was awkward at the kitchen table. They said very little but Kenneth kept talking about how he'd bought a LaCosta polo at 50% off and how they'd gotten 20% off on everything Angela had bought. After lunch they went back to Perrys room and closed the door. This time David locked the door. No more than five minutes later Perry was on his knees with a goofy grin on his face. David zipped up his trousers "I'd better get home, have a great trip to Italy". Perry looked up at David "are you leaving already?", David shrugged "I'd better get home, my brother is coming home tomorrow and you'd better pack for your big day tomorrow". With that David left. Perry still on his knees looking at him leave.
Perry was sitting outside the school kitched alone waiting for the teacher and his classmates to get there. It was his last two classes of the day and then there was only one more day before weekend. He couldn't wait. The cooking classes were fine although the school kitchen was disgusting. Actually, he only liked the cooking part of it. Since the teacher had a bizarre obsession with spam he never ate anything there. His mother had also told him not to, because she was sure he'd get hepatitis or AIDS or something. It wasn't until he'd had his first sexual education class a week earlier that he'd heard about AIDS. Before that he though it was food poisioning. Of course he hadn't asked if he could get AIDS in the school kitchen because Perry was too shy to say anything. Besides his teacher, who had kept scratching his beard the entire time, had said that one could get gonorrhea in the throat so why not AIDS.
The bell disturbed his thinking and his classmates came storming towards the door just in time for the teacher to open the door. The teacher, a woman in her late 40s was the same teacher he had in 4 other subjects and she'd also taught John, his big brother when he went to the school. Perry walked into the school kitchen last as usual, or second last. The new boy was trying to look invisible behind him. The new boy smiled at Perry as he made his way towards the table with the popular boys. "Oh great" Perry thought to himself, "another one". He walked towards the girls table where he usually hung out. Up until now he had been pretty popular with the girls. They'd hang out after school playing with Barbie dolls. Perrys collection was ever growing and some of the girls had been quite jealous. Still now, at age 14 things had changed. He was alone, surrounded by his former friends. Now they giggled talking about Thomas, the attractive football player with the killer smile. Perry liked Thomas but he couldn't remember ever speaking to him except the time when one of Thomas friends had held him down and his other friend had painted Perry all over his face with a permanent marker. Thomas had come over and apologised afterwards. That was at the beginning of the year. It was now spring and the summer holidays were coming up. Finally.
The new boy seemed to fit in at the popular table. He laughed at the right times and smiled at the girls next to Perry. It made Perry want to cry. He just wanted to be noticed by someone besides the hag teaching the class. Perry was an excellent cook, his mother had taught him everything she knew and he liked it. Besides cooking spam meals didn't require a lot of talent. When the bell rang, they were dismissed. He took his time packing up his school bag and walking out of the school kitchen. With any luck the others were half way to the bike sheds by now.
He was surprised when he walked into the open air. The new boy was standing by the door waiting. Perry wondered who he was waiting for, but dismissed the thought and nodded as he walked past. He had no idea what his name was, the new boy had just started the other day and it had been very unlikely he'd want to be friends with the class loser. The new boy ran after Perry. "Hey! wait up!" he yelled. Perry froze and a million images ran through his mind, most included Perry with his head down the toilet. The new boy caught up and introduced himself as David. David then asked if he was doing anything that afternoon. Perry thought for a moment, his mother was at work pretending to work late for covering up her appointments to a psychiatrist and his dad wouldn't be home until 8pm on Thursdays. "No, I've just got to do my homework though" Perry said. David smiled, revealing beautiful white teeth, "can we go to your place? My place is still a bit of a mess with moving boxes everywhere". Perry showed the way. They walked together talking about this and that.
By the time they had reached the church, Perry relaxed. He had been expecting that his classmates had been up to something, using the new boy. Perry hadn't brought home any friends in about a year. In fact he liked it better that way, especially as he made a pretty good impression with parents and his mother Angela rarely made a good impression with the people he brought home. He showed David into his room while he went to make sure the door to Seans room was closed. The shrine to his dead brother was too intense for everyone, especially on a first visit. David quickly started playing with some Lego that was scattered on the floor. Thankfully he'd cleaned up his Barbie stuff a few days ago and Perry had quite liked playing with Legos.
They sat for hours playing and assembling Lego cars, houses, castles and they'd just started building a pizzaria when his mother knocked on the door. Angela didn't wait for an answer, she opened the door and peeked inside. Angela nearly fell over when she saw that the other voice wasn't just Perry pretending to be his Ken doll Marc. She quickly introduced herself and excused herself again retreating to the living room where she made herself a dirty martini. For a while she was shocked, then she was happy and then she realised that David would probably not come back for a second visit. Angela didn't know if she was too sad about that, she much prefered the house was as free of kids as possible and if Perry was alone he wouldn't get hurt by anyone. After all it took such an effort for her to pretend to care. David left around 6pm.
Kenneth didn't come home until after Perry had gone to sleep. Angela had waited up for her husband but had finally gone to bed around midnight with a book and a dirty martini. He came in looking very tired. As he stripped off his clothes and went to bed, Angela turned off her reading lamp and turned over. She was in no mood to talk to him when clearly he had given up on their marriage. Staying out doing lord knows what until this late while she was at home taking care of house and home.
Time flew by for Perry and before he knew it, the summer holidays had started. Every day David had come home with him after school and they'd played computer games on his Commodore Amiga 2000 as well as played with Legos. Angela had finally warmed up a bit to David and it had become a ritual that she brought home something nice for lunch after work. They'd sit together the 3 of them in the kitchen and eat, talking about this and that. David had a brother who was blind and he only came home to stay with them every other weekend. He was excited though, because this summer he would stay for two weeks. His brother was at a special school for the blind where he lived. It surprised her, but Angela liked David. He was a good boy, the sort of boy she would have wanted herself. Exactly like Sean had been. A good boy who was genuine and he was also devastatingly handsome and charming.
The summer was coming on strong. Angela and Kenneth were taking Perry with them to Rimini in Italy in a few weeks. John had been asked by he didn't want to go, he was just happy to live on his own and not be forced to behave around Perry. His deal with Perry about leaving him alone and no beating him up had come to an end when he'd moved out. John had kept the diary of Seans. Nobody except John knew what was in it, their parents had still no clue it had been found. Perry had asked his mother if they could take David instead. They couldn't.
The two of them had been almost inseparable going for walks around the lake, going swimming in the lake and hanging out in their garden. His parents had no clue that Perry had gone swimming in the lake, or walked to the lake. That was forbidden because of the main road he had to pass to get there. Still what Angela didn't know, didn't hurt her. Perry liked David a lot, they understood each other. It was strange because Perry never felt the same way when he was around anyone else, but when he was around David things were just. Wonderful.
Then the day before the family went to Rimini came. David had come over so they could go swimming in the lake one last time before Perry went to Italy. Perry was home alone because Angela had dragged Kenneth into town because she needed a new beach outfit. They eventually left for the lake and they also managed to get home before his parents. It was a little risky but it was exciting. They were sitting on Perrys bed talking with the door closed. "You are a bit of a dork, you know that?" said David all of a sudden. Perry looked at David "well you must be too, wanting to hang out with me" he said. David then jumped on top of Perry and started tickling him. Perry was very ticklish and laughed and squirmed with David now straddling him. Perry pushed David a little trying in vain to get him to roll over but he was too strong. David had a big grin on his face and let go of one of Perrys hands still stradding him.
It was completely quiet and then Perry pushed a little to get free, not noticing where he was pushing. David looked very surprised when he saw Perry touching his crotch. He smiled and Perry blushed and pulled his hand back. David didn't say anything, he let go of Perry and rolled off him. He was now on his side right next to Perry. Perry could feel Davids breath on his neck and he tensed a little. For what seemed an eternity they just lay there not saying anything. Then Perry turned his head to face David. They were only inches from each other, looking into each others eyes. David had green eyes and blonde hair and he smelled of peppermint and fresh sweat.
Perry had never been this close to another person before, except when they were beating him up at school. It was nice, he reached out and touched a little scar on Davids neck. Within a couple of minutes he moved his hand down and ran his fingers over his chest and stomach. David closed his eyes and smiled. After a few minutes David put his hand under Perrys shirt and did the same, they lay there for a bit touching each other saying nothing. Perry had never felt anything like that before, he couldn't think straight, he heard nothing, all there was in the room was David. David moved closer and kissed Perry on the cheek, then moved his hand down his trousers. They were so close and Perry copied Davids move. They kissed, on the mouth. It was Perrys first kiss and it felt like nothing he'd ever experienced. He was equally surprised how big David had become and shocked that his own had gotten so large. It had never been that big before.
It was completely quiet in the house, and David started unzipping Perrys trousers, then his own. They lay there looking down at each other. Then Perry did something he had never imagined doing. He moved his head down there. David moaned and started playing with Perrys hair. Perry tried not to make a noise. His mother had always told him it was impolite to talk with his mouth full. Then all of a sudden David opened his eyes and pulled Perry away. A car had just driven up to the house. They quickly put their trousers back on, ran over and booted the computer.
Minutes later Angela came in, all smiles offering David to stay for lunch. It was awkward at the kitchen table. They said very little but Kenneth kept talking about how he'd bought a LaCosta polo at 50% off and how they'd gotten 20% off on everything Angela had bought. After lunch they went back to Perrys room and closed the door. This time David locked the door. No more than five minutes later Perry was on his knees with a goofy grin on his face. David zipped up his trousers "I'd better get home, have a great trip to Italy". Perry looked up at David "are you leaving already?", David shrugged "I'd better get home, my brother is coming home tomorrow and you'd better pack for your big day tomorrow". With that David left. Perry still on his knees looking at him leave.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Olympicados - The Safety Edition
I think I've briefly mentioned that the Olympics isn't just fun and games. There is a lot of drama going on and on top of that we've got accidents and such. So it's no picnic being an Olympic athlete. This is why they've been doing everything they can in Beijing to make things as safe for athletes. Not that it hasn't been like that in the past.
At the Sydney Olympics in 2000 a total of 90,000 free condoms were handed out to athletes to make sure they were being safe. In Athens the number of condoms was increased to 130,000 and now in Beijing so far 100,000 have been available for distribution. So the athletes can choose to be safe. At least during sex. I wonder if the Beijing Olympic symbol is printed on them. Wouldn't that be something!
The homophobes can also be relieved because according to news reports there is only one gay athlete at the Olympics in Beijing. Which is absurd, because with 10,500 athletes in the Olympic Village statistically there should be, well a lot more. A. LOT. Well taking the report at face value they just need to steer clear of the Aussie diver Matthew Mitcham who is the only gay in the village. And may I just add the gay poster boy of the Olympics in Beijing.
French equestrian rider after being trampled by his horse - that looks so nasty!
Then of course that Jamaican fella Bolt did something that may prove fatal. He risked hepatitis A, B, C, D, E or all of the above. That's one brave man.
Bolt may end up struggling with hepatitis after this.
Beijing Olympics 2008 Gymnastic Blooper - video powered by Metacafe
Another Chinese gymnast bites the dust. Ouch! Those balance beams are killer.
At the Sydney Olympics in 2000 a total of 90,000 free condoms were handed out to athletes to make sure they were being safe. In Athens the number of condoms was increased to 130,000 and now in Beijing so far 100,000 have been available for distribution. So the athletes can choose to be safe. At least during sex. I wonder if the Beijing Olympic symbol is printed on them. Wouldn't that be something!
The homophobes can also be relieved because according to news reports there is only one gay athlete at the Olympics in Beijing. Which is absurd, because with 10,500 athletes in the Olympic Village statistically there should be, well a lot more. A. LOT. Well taking the report at face value they just need to steer clear of the Aussie diver Matthew Mitcham who is the only gay in the village. And may I just add the gay poster boy of the Olympics in Beijing.
Matthew Mitcham getting ready for the finals in the mens 10m platform
Still there are things that you can't protect yourself from. The following can appear to be very painful and that is because they are. Still these athletes keep going and you can only assume that because of this, it is not bad form to laugh at some of it. Other parts are just too mortifying to laugh at. Or at least, when you do, you do it to protect yourself from the horrid thing that just happened. At least that's how I feel. We start the next bit with the most horrible image I found, of a rider in an equestrian discipline who was trampled by his horse.
French equestrian rider after being trampled by his horse - that looks so nasty!
Then of course that Jamaican fella Bolt did something that may prove fatal. He risked hepatitis A, B, C, D, E or all of the above. That's one brave man.
Bolt may end up struggling with hepatitis after this.
Then there was the Hungarian weightlifter. This was so painful to watch but with the commentary it was pretty funny. Unfortunately this is not that video but here it is. Consider yourself warned, it looks very painful.
Beijing Olympics 2008 Gymnastic Blooper - video powered by Metacafe
Another Chinese gymnast bites the dust. Ouch! Those balance beams are killer.
Most of the stuff that went wrong is nowhere to be found though. Due to copyrights and no doubt due to the Chinese not wanting anything bad in the press. The mascots however have had their problems so here is some light comedy.
Last by by no means least, here is a little video of athletes who have taken a dive in the past Olympic Games.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Olympicados - Edición Español
Hola España! Qué pasa? Are you feeling particularly patético today? Mhmmm?
One thing that can be said for the Spaniards is that they were relentless. They always want the Gold which isn't that uncommon because let's face it. We all want the Gold medals. Still, you have to wonder what goes on in peoples heads when your multiple protests have been refused and other, more pressing things are going on in your country. Combined with the fact that this hasn't been an awful Olympics for Spain.
While I write this, it states on the Official Beijing Olympic Medal Count site that Spain has 15 medals of which 5 are Gold, 8 are Silver and 2 are Bronze and are ranked 14. Their medals so far are in these disciples
The Spanish Gold
One thing that can be said for the Spaniards is that they were relentless. They always want the Gold which isn't that uncommon because let's face it. We all want the Gold medals. Still, you have to wonder what goes on in peoples heads when your multiple protests have been refused and other, more pressing things are going on in your country. Combined with the fact that this hasn't been an awful Olympics for Spain.
While I write this, it states on the Official Beijing Olympic Medal Count site that Spain has 15 medals of which 5 are Gold, 8 are Silver and 2 are Bronze and are ranked 14. Their medals so far are in these disciples
The Spanish Gold
- Kayak Double (K2) 500m Men
- Men's Road Race (Cycling)
- Men's Points Race (Cycling Track)
- Tornado (Sailing)
- Men's Singles (Tennis)
The Spanish Silver
- Canoe Single (C1) 1000m Men (Flatwater)
- Canoe Single (C1) 500m Men (Flatwater)
- 49er (Sailing)
- Men's Madison (Cycling Track)
- Men's Floor Exercise (Gymnastics Artistic)
- Duet (Synchronized Swimming)
- Team Event (Synchronized Swimming)
- Women's Doubles (Tennis)
The Spanish Bronze
- Women's Points Race (Cycling Track)
- Men's Individual Epee (Fencing)
That's really impressive! For a country like Spain. I realise that if this was the US or China it would be horribly offensive but without knowing what they came to Beijing expecting it's still pretty good.
Now one of those Silver medals, the one in the 49er (Sailing) event could have magically become a gold medal by the swish of a pen at a desk. The drama of it all. Leave it to the southern Europeans to be sore losers. It has to be mentioned here, as I'm singling out the Spanish, that the Italians suddenly smelled Bronze and jumped on the Spanish bandwagon (or 49'er boat) contesting the decision made by the Olympic Judges at the event and later the Jury confirming the Danish win in the 49'er race in a Croatian boat. Funniely enough the Germans decided not to protest because they would rather have a well deserved Bronze medal than a Silver Medal and a bad taste in their mouths for years to come.
Today it was ruled by the CAS officials that the Danish win of the Gold Medal in the 49er race was correct and that the Spanish can take their Silver home and cry about it. So the Danish 49er sailers can now take a deep breath and finally appreciate their Gold as theirs. It can't be taken away from them unless they failed a doping test (which they won't because it would have been detected by now). We thank the Croatians yet again for their generosity and sportsman ship! THANK YOU!
That can't be said for the Spaniards who put the Danish guys through hell and all for nothing. Did they really expect that the Olympic guys hadn't dotted the i's and crossed their t's? Before the Olympic Games you sign a piece of paper saying that you accept the rulings by the Olympic officials. The Spaniards did not do this, and I think it goes against everything the Olympics stand for. The Olympic Spirit is not present in the Spanish Olympic Team. Shame on them.
It's now a standing joke in Denmark that whenever the Spanish either don't qualify, or win the Gold Medal they will protest. This was especially hilarious when a comedy team was sent to do commentary at the Synchronized Swimming event for teams. Oh how I laughed. When they broke the news of the Danish 49er keeping their Gold Medal (in your face Spain!) I didn't believe them. I thought it was just another joke but then it came on TTV. YAY! I don't want to say congratulations to the Danish guys because I've already done that. Besides they won the medal by sailing fantastically.
It's unbecoming being a sore loser, and we saw it yesterday from Spain as well when they won the Silver in the 1000m Canoe for men. He was not happy! Apparently it's a trend for Spain to act like that. Pony up, go home and work on the poor form and come London in 2012. If you spend as much time and effort training as you do protesting and being sore losers you should do quite well. Be grateful you win medals, there are many nations, like Togo and Moldova who would probably give their right arm for a Silver medal - in anything!
The Danish 49er team enjoying their Gold Medals
The Spanish recovering after their protests and appeals have been denied.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Olympicados - The Outfits
While all eyes are on the Olympic Games in Beijing, it seems like some sports are more popular than others. We all remember the Athens Games and at those they had a hard time selling tickets to some of the events. While most were completely sold out, at others officials were practically handing out tickets for free. Especially Table Tennis proved to be a problem. While, if you actually watch it, is quite exciting it just doesn't have the OOOOMPF that other, much larger sports have.
The reason why I gave it a shot Thursday morning at 6am was that our Danish medal hope was playing a Croatian veteran. While Michael Maze is one of the best in the world he couldn't stand the pressure from the Croatian and he eventually lost his first match. With that he was finished in the Olympic Games which was very unfortunate and he was quite unhappy with himself.
Anyway back to the issue at hand, Table Tennis just isn't a very sexy sport. Even with the huge popularity it has in China, it is one of the events that have the smallest audience. In an attempt to turn Table Tennis into the next Beach Volley someone rather has made the suggestions to put the ladies, and gentlemen participating into more figure hugging outfits. Afterall there is no reason why the men and women look the same.
In this post I will take you through the outfits that are acceptable, as well as the ones where it seems like there is gender discrimination and even some that are just plain hideous. Or all of the above. We'll start with the Table Tennis outfits.
1. Table Tennis
As mentioned already, isn't a sexy sport and here is a reason why people have that opinion.
The mens outfit, although a little baggy isn't too bad.
Is this a woman? With an outfit like that, one could have doubts.
These outfits may very well be turned into something a little more sexy before the London Games in 2012. Just maybe people will start watching it. I'd say "again" but to be honest I'm not sure if anyone ever did. It's not that dull actually. Moving on.
The athletics outfits are 100% CyberPete approved. I assume they are quite comfortable as well when you are competing in those different things because it gives you lots of movement. A perk is they look great on a well trained body like that. It looks a lot like the wrestling outfit which is also approved.
The reason why I gave it a shot Thursday morning at 6am was that our Danish medal hope was playing a Croatian veteran. While Michael Maze is one of the best in the world he couldn't stand the pressure from the Croatian and he eventually lost his first match. With that he was finished in the Olympic Games which was very unfortunate and he was quite unhappy with himself.
Anyway back to the issue at hand, Table Tennis just isn't a very sexy sport. Even with the huge popularity it has in China, it is one of the events that have the smallest audience. In an attempt to turn Table Tennis into the next Beach Volley someone rather has made the suggestions to put the ladies, and gentlemen participating into more figure hugging outfits. Afterall there is no reason why the men and women look the same.
In this post I will take you through the outfits that are acceptable, as well as the ones where it seems like there is gender discrimination and even some that are just plain hideous. Or all of the above. We'll start with the Table Tennis outfits.
1. Table Tennis
As mentioned already, isn't a sexy sport and here is a reason why people have that opinion.
The mens outfit, although a little baggy isn't too bad.
Is this a woman? With an outfit like that, one could have doubts.
These outfits may very well be turned into something a little more sexy before the London Games in 2012. Just maybe people will start watching it. I'd say "again" but to be honest I'm not sure if anyone ever did. It's not that dull actually. Moving on.
2. Diving
Now diving is interesting. I quite like it. Today, or well yesterday I watched the womens 10m diving from the tower. How people can make themselves do handstands up there and jump over the edge is beyond me. The jump where they have their back to the pool is scary because I always worry they are going to hit their head on the platform on the way down. Thankfully there was no such drama. There were a few really bad jumps though as well as near perfect ones from those tiny 16 year old Chinese girls. I swear, the splash went downwards into the water. No water flew upwards. Weird.
Anyway, diving outfits are completely CyberPete approved. Less is more you know. Especially on the men - and most especially on my Olympic boyfriend Alexandre Despatie.
This is not my Olympic boyfriend Alexandre Despatie though. He got a little selfconscious after my last post.
3. Athletics
I was watching some of the athletics from yesterday. The thing where they do 2 jumps and ends that by jumping into the sand trap etc. etc. I don't know if it was the Danish coverage that does that or if you all get the same kind. Isn't it rather sporatic and confusing? One moment you are watching some guy doing the jumping thing, the next you saw the Americans doing the 400 meter relay where they dropped the baton (both the men and the women - did someone say butterfingers?) and then it jumped on to show us the spear throwing thing and so on and so forth. There didn't seem to be any sort of direction in it and I couldn't follow any of the scores. Anyway, OUTFITS!The athletics outfits are 100% CyberPete approved. I assume they are quite comfortable as well when you are competing in those different things because it gives you lots of movement. A perk is they look great on a well trained body like that. It looks a lot like the wrestling outfit which is also approved.
So, Tim when are you jumping into one of these?
4. Volleyball
I watched a bit of the womens Volleyball match between the US and Cuba (I believe) which was a pretty good match. Why can't I ever manage to catch any of the men competing? Anyway this is how the outfits are.
Nothing too special but I've seen worse
These outfits aren't too spectacular and I'd say they could be improved a bit. Not just for looks but also for movement. Not very unlike the handball outfits which I've chosen not to feature here because we didn't make the Semi Finals (sour grapes, I think so).
5. Beach Volley
This is probably the sexiest and most exciting sport involving a ball at the Olympics. It's also a relatively new Olympic sport as it was introduced for the first time at the Sydney Games in 2000. I've been trying like a madman to catch a mens match but I've been out of luck. I did catch the US beating China for the Gold medal yesterday. Or at least I think it was the final match. I could be wrong, confusing it with Volleyball.
Anyway those outfits are the most discussed outfits at the Games. Some say that the womens outfits are way too sexy. Personally I don't mind, but I do find that there is a gender discrimination going on. Surely the men should play with their tops off. If it's the matter of the country, name and a number being on the back of the shirt. They could just do what they did at the swimming marathon. Where they painted it on the contestants.
Here are a few examples of this gender discrimination travesty.
The poor lads in their tops
They look like they should take their tops off. Because they are so hot.
Is it a sport or a beachwear/lingerie showcasing
They are quite skimpy all things considering.
Oh dear - plus she wouldn't know what's knickers and what's the bra if it wasn't written on it.
6. Gymnastics
The gymnastics category is everything from the trampoline to floor gymnastics and the balance beam. This is another gender discrimination travesty. The women/girls get away with only wearing a leotard (sequined from time to time) while then men are wearing a full on trousers shirt combo. In all honesty this full on trousers and shirt combo is atrocious. Some more than others obviously due to the country design. The make of this uniform is just appalling and I can't believe they haven't come up with someone a little more trendy or aerodynamic. This is how different the women/girls and mens outfits are.
Girl in gymnastics leotard (is there a bulge down there like she's tucked away a little secret?)
Another leotard, this time with long sleeves
Yet another leotard. It just isn't fair.
Oh look at the horrendous trousers. They are so very ugly.
Another crime against men and fashion.
Ugh, look at those. It's just such a faux pas. I'm sure they'd be better off in leotards.
Another crime against fashion and men in general, this time on the Trampoline.
Thankfully there are other disciplines at the Olympic Games that have nice outfits. We've already seen the swimmers so I just have to mention briefly that I'm so disappointed with their decisions to wear the full on swim suit from Speedo. It's a little sad that we can't perv on the them in the same way we could when they were just wearing that teeny tiny Speedo. Yet apparently the suits are enhancing their performers. Which is odd, because as far as I remember the sexy Michael Phelps - what a body! (here's something for the google search - yay!) didn't wear the full suit but rather just a longer type Speedo pants. Afterall he won 8 Gold Medals!
As you can gather from this, I'd like to see everyone pretty much just wearing a leotard or what the Athletics guys wore. That would be nice but let's be honest those gymnast mens outfits are horrid. Poor lads.
What are your thoughts?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Olympicados- Olympic Boyfriend
To think that it would take 3 Olympic Games to find the love of my life. Granted I didn't always watch the Olympics so intensely but this still. The Sydney games aren't THAT long ago. Anyway it's a little difficult with the long distance and everything but Canadian diver and Olympic Silver Medalist at the Beijing Games, Alexandre Despatie and I are surely going to make it. I'm just sure of it.
As you can see by the following photos, he is just gorgeous. A prime specimen of the Canadian man. I'm truely, madly, deeply in love.
As you can see by the following photos, he is just gorgeous. A prime specimen of the Canadian man. I'm truely, madly, deeply in love.
Pack it in Michael Phelps, Alexandre Despatie IS my Olympic Boyfriend.
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